This would be the same Georgia Pacific that makes the paper for our photo-copier? Sigh. But what would you expect from the rocket scientists that still haven't realized that Georgia is on the Atlantic, not the Pacific?
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AssWipe should be bought the roll, not by the ream.

Three-ply toilet paper is a good idea. But what I look forward to is the day when the decide to put TWO-ply toilet paper in public washrooms.

Georgia Pacific used to run ads showing how environmentally conscious and savvy they were. My first thought in writing this article was, "How many more trees are being used up in providing these cushy tushy wipes?" I'm aware of the environment without being a fanatic, so when I wipe, I try to get by with as little paper as possible--single ply, ten sheets per b.m. [using 4, 3, and 3 sheets for the individual wipes] unless something wet and drastic has happened. Perhaps, with 3-ply paper, the thought is that the initial wipe could be done with 2 sheets (6 plys!), and the follow-ups with 1 each. Surely a roll would last longer if we could get by with 4 sheets per shit; but somehow I doubt that was the logic.

By the way, how big will the rolls be? If the normal size, how many sheets? Not as many, I bet.

This reminds me of the competition between companies to create men's razors with more and more blades. Will we soon see 4-ply and 5-ply paper?

Scatologician, eventually the number of plies will get so high, that you will be given a piece of wood.

Nice article, mister! I will be looking to read about how well septic tanks handle this tissue from the professionals (plumbers and sanitation companies). We've had a septic scare recently, so my eyes have been open to more issues that I care to deal with.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Can you imagine how big the roll will be once it becomes 15 or 20 ply? It'll seem like you're wiping your ass with a blanket.

It'll seem like you're wiping your ass with a blanket

You mean, you haven't tried that yet?

Good thought, Daphne! We have septic--just had it cleaned this summer (not cheap, but necessary). When the guy opened up the tank, the contents just looked brown--all liquid, no visible paper, certainly no individual turds, just brown. The tank was maybe a third full, 8 years after the last emptying, so obviously it was doing its job well. But who knows what 3-ply paper might have done, especially if the house had more than two part-time users, as ours does (we both still work and are home maybe half the day).

I am reminded of the product "Hemorid"
that Kim Alexis did TV commercials for back in the 1980's. If memory serves me the product was touted as being for women's
hemorrhoids.

If my memory is accurate the FDA put a stop to the product's claims on the premise that an asshole is an asshole. What is good for a goose-egg on a man's anus works equally well on a woman's hinny hole imperfections.

I think a man's starfish deserves as much pampering as those located between the cheeks of all you lovely ladies. I, by the way, am happy with the single ply commercial stuff sold at Sam's Club. I buy it by the case.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Here's a concept. Take a single ply and fold it over twice or three times. Do we need Georgia Pacific to do that for us?

I tried a three ply cat wipe once.

Just once. It wasn't pretty.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

After the alfresco poop has anyone ever tried the three ply leaf wipe?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I think it's brilliant on Georgia Pacific's part; People are going to use exactly as many sheets as before, only they're using three times as much toilet paper, AND paying more for it!

Fart Poopie, I have not tried wiping with a blanket, but I think next time I'll try Bilgepumps method and wipe with my cat.

I tried wiping with a cat....once

Postman, how about wiping with my next credit card statement.

Blanket, no. But I've wiped on pleanty of towels at parties at friend's houses. I always search for TP first, but if there isn't any, I just grab what's handy. Nobody would ever know it was me. I guess none of them ever had cats, or I might have given that a shot. I think I was asking for trouble wiping with some of those towels...

Holy crap, MSG. No paper in the tank? That's incredible, and you should be commended.

We have a 12 year old girl who uses the stuff like it's going out of style.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Paper breaks down to small bits in a properly working tank. Although it looks like Hershey soup down there, the paper is in there. There is no septic tank fairy.

What a wonderful Halloween costume idea.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The best wipe I ever had was with white bread. Period. It was a last resort on a camping trip.

Gord, I find a nice crusty wedge of Italian bread works quite well. Rye is also ok, but you'll have to spend the rest of the day picking those caraway seeds out of your ass.

PD.......I go out to the barn yard and let the chickens earn their keep.

PA, thanks for the tip. I live in a more urban area, so maybe I should go out into the alley and let the rats and roaches earn a reprieve.

Our oldest son would probably just clog the toilet 3 times as fast with the 3 ply paper!

The shared septic here at our new place is on borrowed time, I can't wait for the work to begin on the new septic. I have a feeling we'll have to make it thru winter on the existing one. When the project gets underway I want to photograph the whole process and keep it in a (s)crapbook!!!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

i dont use toliet paper per-say, i steal napkins from mccdonalds, QT, white castle , etc...i havent purchsed tp now for 14 years

Yes, Shitwit, I wish I had had a camera along when our septic tank got cleaned. Quite an operation. Not much to see in the tank--just the brown goo; but a hell of a mechanism to transfer it to the truck ("honey-wagon" as some still call it). Strong odor for a short time, too.

My husband always invites the neighbors in to smell his farts. Sometimes the dog farts, but we just smile. If I push too hard, I get poopies in the panties

How wonderful it is to see firsthand that special needs people can find true love amidst the farts.

I'm tempted to great that Anil's comment just because.

Someone smack me.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Once, in the '80s, I had this girl over at my house and my Cairn Terrier, Toto, farted. It was silent and it stunk sooo BAD! There was no clean air for several minutes as the odor had a very thick and musky, heavy blanket feeling. The gas was almost liquid. Really, I could feel the molecules when I swiped at the air. I apologized at least a couple of times because the pooppllution wouldn't go away. Courtney kept looking at me strangely, like she thought it was me. It was an awkward moment that lasted the rest of the evening. I met her at church and didn't know her very well. I don't think she believed me because we never hung around anymore after that wicked fart that Toto did.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17