We PoopReporters rely on the bathroom as a temple of solace. It's the one place where we know the chaos of the outside world will not intrude -- where, for at least the five minutes it takes us to do our thing, the universe is reduced to a human being, a butt, a toilet, and nothing else.
But don't relax too completely, PoopReporter: even the bathroom has its perils. Just ask Rodshae Watkins of Kansas City. This weekend, the tranquility of her bathroom was shattered when a car smashed through the bathroom wall. According to news reports, the car "hopped a curb" and landed in the crapper, "destroying the bathroom and crushing the toilet."
Just ask Lee Rich, of Salem, Oregon. In his haste to get started with his business, he may not have noticed splashing sounds coming from his toilet bowl. Because when he lifted the lid, a rat -- ten inches long and covered in sewage -- leaped from the water and took up what it hoped to be permanent residence in a linen closet.
Just ask Li Wei of China's Hunan Province. His hand was stuck in the Wuhan-to-Shenzhen train's toilet for four hours after an attempt to retrieve a dropped mobile phone went horribly wrong.
Just ask the owners of Nail Trix in Park Township, Michigan. A deer smashed through the glass door of their nail salon, charged into the bathroom, and refused to come out. Animal control was able to drag it away, but not before it kicked the sink off the wall.
The lesson to learn from these examples is to look before you dook. But perhaps even that isn't enough. Just ask the owners of a sporting goods shop in Yeovil, Somerset, England. On Thursday, out of the clear blue sky, a porta-potty smashed into the side of their shop, punching a hole in the brickwork and possibly causing structural damage to the building. The mayor of Yeovil, Tony Lock, blames teenagers for pushing the porta-potty off the side of a hill. But the truth could be far more terrifying: the toilets of the world, sick of taking so much abuse, are finally beginning to strike back. Don't be wary just when you're going to the toilet -- you also need to be wary of toilets coming after you.
