This PoopReport links roundup will focus mainly on poop produced for profit. But first, a long-lost friend has surfaced: a few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of hanging out with Chris Rockwell, the auteur behind the late, lamented Daily Download podcast. He and his buddy Canis Lupus were in New York on business; we met up to eat burgers and drink beer and discuss about the future of poop and the media. The evening quickly devolved into an hour of shouting at each other at an Irish bar about whether the country's money supply should be based on a gold standard or on consumer confidence -- a subject none of us knew anything about but were drunk enough to argue incessantly about anyway.

Here we are, first during a quiet moment at the beginning of the evening, and then in a cab, passing through Times Square, on our way to a sloppy end of a sloppy evening at a dive bar in the Village. You can recognize Chris by his middle finger, of which he is apparently quite proud.

But while I've been off drinking and having fun, many people have been hard at work trying to make money off PoopReporters like you. For instance: a few months ago, I got an email from the creator of Chicken Poop Lip Balm. As promised, he sent me a box of his product -- which means I no longer worry about global warming because I've got enough lip balm to get me through a century of heat waves and ice ages. The lip balm works just as well as any other lip balm. According to my wife, who is more qualified to judge these sorts of things, Chicken Poop "goes on smoothly." And "despite its name, it has a pleasant smell." And "It has natural ingredients, which I appreciate, because I don't like dangerous processed products (or animal feces) in my beauty care regime."

But beyond the functional benefits, Chicken Poop is doing two things that will ensure tremendous success. First is the box, which is shaped like a chicken, with product coming out of the back end:

And second is the fact that they bribed Walgreens into doing this:

If anyone wants a stick, I have a lifetime supply and then some. Email me and I'll send some your way.

Speaking of poop products, The Thunderous Crapper writes: "I don't know if you saw this one, but I think our folks might be interested in GasBGon.The testimonials alone are worth checking out. I don't know why I can't think of these things and make a million. This is definitely an idea whose time has come, especially for those with IBS and other flatulence problems. You no longer have to blame the dog!" And here's more poop commerce courtesy of our own Ass Phlegm. It turns out he's neglected Teed Off Turd because he's been busy building a t-shirt empire. He thinks PoopReporters will enjoy this one in particular. I do, too.

And yet more! The guys at My Shit Don't Stink have created a new video. And some fella named Steve wants you to buy his Bidet Spray.

Lastly, Stan Murmur wants you to know that not even the wrath of the Chesterfield County School Board can stop him from creating more butt art.

Now, in non-commercial news, Dung Bat writes: I read this poem once and it had me in stitches. Meanwhile, Arnold found us a toilet paper fashion show, the love toilet, the Belgian Farting Pig, New York City's worst places to poop, competitive farting and poo pourri. And KesAFloyd discovered sandy toilet paper.

And finally, it seems our own Chip Brown is a budding Youtube megastar. Take a look at his first movie, That's Ken -- with music by our old pals Beer Softened Stool.