Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! Make the restroom part of the inspection! I would imagine fecal splattered walls and stalls probably won't pass, along with the empty TP rolls, the toilet that is in a constant state of flush, and the 2 out of 3 fluorescent lights not working. Locking stall doors? Would that be asking too much? What about running water at the sink and paper towels or a hand dryer that actually works? Maybe I'm pushing my luck here. But I am terribly thrilled that some pol is getting in on this shit.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

God Damn, Daphne! Your ability to produce informative, entertaining prose just gets better and better.

I hate you for that.

I'll bet, Daphne, that if you look closely at his campaign finances, you'll find that he's received large campaign donations from the AwTAA (Asswipe Trade Association of America).
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Lol! Deja, where do I sign up? That's my kind of lobbying!

Thank you Bilgey for that nice compliment. It makes me feel like someone out there sees my vision, my dream. Yes, I have a dream. (cue the music)

"I have a dream to exist in a world where we can strive together to turn every ridiculously-lame and/or bathroom-related phrase with confidence and pride...."

"I have a dream. I dream of using too many adjectives because I've had three glasses of sangiovese and don't feel like stopping now....."

"Yay, I dream. My dream is to share the love, stay eight years old in my head, and to get Dave in trouble at work because he laughs too loudly at the phrase 'Miami Sound Machine' - because I used it in reference to a trumpet composed of two ass cheeks instead of brass...."

"I have a dream, brothers and sisters, to make the news fun. Fun, I tell you. Oh woe, for news is wrapped in sterile, politically-correct packages, written by uptight doodyheads, and we crave to be humored. To laugh. To read about poop. Amen."

(with any luck, my medication will be taking effect shortly)

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Ok, that was just dumb. Better switch to a shirazz.

Apparently, the Bilge does not see my dream after all but wakes up as if in a nightmare.

I am saddened. (switches to shirazz)

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

You probably out to have a couple glasses of that, and do a lampoon of a Suffragette speech, or Susan B. Anthony, or something of that nature.

If I actually drank all that wine, it might be worse. I fear the situation would erode to me trying to act out the Gettysburg Address with a few dead cockroaches stapled to old popsicle sticks. Then, I'll pass out and wake up in town dressed in a dirty trench coat, clutching bag of lettuce and mustard sammiches and muttering something about pork belly prices.

But hey, look at the bright side Bidge, at least we derailed!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

There is that, and quite an accomplishment, when the author can derail her own thread. I am in awe.

Surely the amount of paper made available to patrons, under such a bill, should be calculated as an operand of the square footage of the establishment in question. The bigger the area, the more patrons accommadated. More patrons = more bum wipes. Taking into account varying wipe techniques, a second variable could be factored in. If 10% of patrons wipe to the max, and 20% are happy to leave a bit of bum fodder, then we have a 10% differential. So, Multiply the square footage by your differential, apply this to your original paper formulae, and hey presto! Clean bums abundant.

Its easy when you stink about it!

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

BVC, I bow in reverence to your brilliance, but according to your figures, 20% will be exiting the establishment with black holes. Won't this affect the space-time continuum thing??

No TP would be leaving with my black hole!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

This story is just more evidence (as if any were needed) that Republicans have *far* more common sense than Democrats. :-)

You're a Repub, eh Herb? That explains a lot.

A lot of what? I'm not American, so I'm not a member of the Republican Party, but I am a right-wing conservative and damn proud of it. I support low taxes, a free market economy, a strong stance in the war on terror, a strong military, and staying in Iraq for as long as it takes to establish peace and order.