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The economics of the grand American craphouse

Posted 07.10.2006 by KeepOnCrappin
Now that the size of the average American house has grown to 2,320 square feet from about 2,100 square feet just sixteen years ago -- the "size of an extra family room," according to Reader's Digest -- it's no surprise that the size of American bathrooms are growing as well. And with size comes style. According to the Washington Post, luxury bathrooms -- which must cost $8,000 or more -- are expected to generate $22 BILLION dollars in spending this year. In 2003, we only spent a measly $7.3 billion on our rooms of release.

The Post helps us put that in perspective: "That is ten times what the U.S. government will spend on AIDS research this year. It is six times the annual budget of Kenya."

I don't know about you, but I don't make enough money to spend $70 per square foot of stone and $600 on a faucet, much less ten grand on a tub! Sure, I'd love to have heated floors, which heat the toilet and the seat as well. That wouldn't be so bad on a cold day. But wait -- I shouldn't have quoted a mere ten G's on the tub. You can get an all-copper version for nearly 30,000 dollars. My car was cheaper than that!

How crazy have Americans gone for luxury? As Barry Goldberg, vice president of Union Hardware in Bethesda, put it: "A $300 faucet is almost on the verge of becoming a commodity."

In fact, most people are now trying to "option up," or get the biggest and most expensive products available. Sometimes that requires a bathroom expansion. Take Eddie Burka, who recently spent $120,000 on his bathroom, where he "often lounges for a good hour in the morning, watching The Today Show from the tub." The article talks about other homeowners who felt pressured by friends and family who had bigger and better bathrooms. It even describes one family who made their huge bathroom the new family room, where they have "spa night."

Maybe it's just a question of keeping up with the Joneses. Jerry Weed, owner of Kitchen and Bath Studios in Chevy Chase, thinks it's temporary. "Will it last forever? Probably not. We just happened to come along at a good point in history." But that's what they said about gas prices, too...

Homeowning PoopReporters, tell us: are you feeling a different kind of pressure when you enter your bathroom these days?

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Logjam (2807) -- 07.10.2006

KOC - great reportage. This has been one of my dreams -- having a bathroom of the type described here, with lots of space to lounge in. After the kitchen, it's the most important room in the house, and so why shouldn't it be large and inviting enough to accommodate group affairs?

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 07.10.2006

The most important room after the kitchen? Coming up next, combo rooms, where you can take a dump in style while frying an egg.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Thunderbox (1382) -- 07.10.2006

A mind boggling amount of money being spent that`s for sure. But, being in the construction industry, an awful lot of this expensive designer stuff (hyped on TV makeover programs etc)is crap. It doesn`t work remotely as well as the kind of thing you can buy at your local discount bathroom superstore. There you can get great functional equipment at a fraction of the cost of this "fashion statement" shit.

I`d much rather have a cheap and cheerful shitter that sends my loads down the pipes every time with no blockages or skidmarks, than an expensive piece of designer hardware that even the most minor of turds paints a great streak every time, and more than 3 sheets calls for the plunger.

The Dumpster (2507) -- 07.10.2006

I will never get rid of my white, 40-year-old, 3.5 gallon flush American Standards, as long as I can get parts for them.

And if the government says I have to replace them, they will have to pry my cold, dead ass off the seats first.

"Keeping up with the Joneses," indeed--more like "keeping up with the Kohlers."

Great blog, KOC!

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

Thunderbox (1382) -- 07.10.2006

Well said Dumpster, price does not always bring quality.

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.10.2006

I'm with you Thunderbox, price does not always bring quality. I've got an old American Standard in the crapper that I've never plugged up. It takes everything I have to dish out, and then burps, and assks for more. I have often dreamed of a high priced bidet to wash my ass, but have you seen these things? I'm not completely sure that I could even sit on the one I looked at, let alone drop a deuce. It was a plastic looking teacup. In that particular case, bombs away would surely end with...KABOOM! Give me outdated equipment that is battle proven, and leave the window dressing for the windows.

sharty mcfly (211) -- 07.10.2006

i've always been the type guy that values performance over looks, especially in my cars computers, etc. if i was going to "option up" on my bathroom i'd really much rather get things that worked better. A racing equipped bathroom if you will, bigger bored pipes, higher PSI, a real hot rod, chrome and flames too please. i sincerely doubt that something like this exists, or that it would even be legal, but if i were to spend the extra money i'd want it to out perform everything on the market, i'd want it to be able to flush a whole cooked chicken no problem.

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.10.2006

By the way Sharty, when I first logged on and saw your name, I nearly fell off my stool laughing. Great name, and also a great point, a whole chicken might be the new benchmark in flushing excellence.

The Dumpster (2507) -- 07.10.2006

Nah, Phillip--a dead dog is the gold (or maybe it is bronze) standard here on PR.

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 07.10.2006

My house was built in 1937. It is approximately 1400 square feet. (I don't think you count the basement; if you do, it's maybe more like 1800.) Yes, it's rather small, but it does the job quite nicely for the two of us, and if we rearrange some things (read: give up large game room) we could fit a family in here.

We have 1.5 baths in our house. I just went and measured them. The full bath downstairs (it's a Cape Cod and the only thing upstairs is the game room) is 8' by 4'6". Yes, folks, 36 square feet. The powder room upstairs is 4'6" by 4'6". That's a mere 20 1/4 square feet! Things were very different 69 years ago. Somehow, we manage to piss, take craps, shower, brush our teeth, and check ourselves in the mirror in just 56.25 square feet. To think, not so many years before 1937, people were crapping in outhouses. Shocking! Personally, if I want to watch The Today Show (or something a little more fun), I will SIT ON THE FUCKING COUCH AND WATCH TV. Shocking again!

I don't begrudge people their right to comfort, and if I were rich and had money to burn, I might have some of these things, but when I put this in context with some of the things KOC pointed out (BTW, great report, KOC) and the fact that more Americans than ever are in huge amounts of debt owing to keeping up to the Joneses and the "because I can" and "I want it now" mentalities, this report nauseates me just a bit.

sharty mcfly (211) -- 07.10.2006

ab2k, we looked at a couple cape cods in jersey for a family of five... even expaned cape cods are just too small, but i do agree that things are getting a bit large. we now have a ms mansion in where else? texas, and i personally have my own private shitter, it is a little ludicrous and a little out of control, but it's the american way, bigger better, faster, etc. and dumpster, while a dead dog would be the gold standard, well i mean it'd be a big ass bowl for a dead dog, that's why i picked the chicken... but maybe a sever suction system, one that you'd have to be well away from while flushing, something that could make your ears pop 3 rooms over, now that would be impressive and it'd do a dog no problem.

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 07.10.2006

When I was a kid I had a friend whose parents had a $400,000 house, which was somewhat of a bigger deal in the early 1990's than it is now. It had six bedrooms and six bathrooms, for the parents and 4 kids. Her parents never could afford a vacation, and only ever bought cheap ass food, and bought their kids the cheapest possible clothes, and had old furniture, and had their cars repo'd, but damnit all, they had nice bathrooms in that huge house of theirs!

Just sayin', some people's priorities are out of whack. With a limited budget, I'd rather go on vacation, go out on the weekends, drive nicer cars, and have absolutely no debt to speak of, besides the inevitable mortgage, than have a luxury crapper. But that's just me.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.11.2006

I agree, AB2K; we're having that discussion in our household right now. I'd rather live with the older (in our case--windows) stuff than have to work 10-15 more hours a week (and still be JUST breaking even). My husband's argument is, "The lowE glass will save us lots on heating and A/C!"

Uhhh... 1) This is California. We only use the furnace maybe 50 days a year. And 2) How long would it take for a small savings on the energy bill to pay off the thousands of dollars spent on new windows? That doesn't even count the interest, since it would be *shudder* financed. It's unnecessary.

The Dumpster (2507) -- 07.11.2006

"A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.11.2006

Happiness should be measured in the amount of peace and quiet you get from the possesions you own, not the amount of grief you get from the amount you owe.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.11.2006

My points, exactly! Could you three please speak to my husband? :-P

daphne (4409) -- 07.11.2006

I would like to thank Ebay for my bathrooms being swank and comfy.

I love Ebay.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 07.12.2006

I was delivering these Christmas baskets to people of my county's list of people below the poverty line. In half the homes I went to, they were single family house with big screen TV, satellite, huge computers, I saw a remodeled kitchen, and in one house, in the driveway, a BMW Z4.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.12.2006

KOC-- Not to cast ass-persions on the poor, but did it occur to you that these particular folks may NOT have come by those items, shall we say, honestly?

I have a penurious branch in my family tree, and while my cousins would call my mom and beg for money for toothpaste and feminine products, when my mom went over there with gifts of basic hygiene items, there was always Pepsi, beer, cigarettes, and nail polish in their house. No vegetables or toothpaste or laundry detergent, but who needs things like that?

I am CERTAINLY not saying that all poverty-stricken people are like this, but some are, because I know some examples personally. My cousins' family got all kinds of assistance, but would never help themselves.

The Big Wiper (2287) -- 07.12.2006

Today I saw a commercial for something that I certainly consider overkill. It wasn't a bathroom item, but it seemed ludicrously excessive. It was one of those smart refrigerators, but this one had a 15" inch TV screen built into the door.

Now, I ask you: who is going to stand there and watch TV in the refrigerator? And if you get really involved in a show and someone needs to open the damned door, then what are you going to do?

This is an idea whose time has not come. If you want a TV in the kitchen, then get one of those little portables and put it on the kitchen table.

BTW, this TV screen was right next to the icemaker. So I guess this is so someone who got up from their couch or easy chair to get a drink wouldn't have to miss any of the program they were watching in the nearby living room.
Give me a break.

This reminds me of the justification for the entire cell phone industry. That we just can't be out of touch for even one second with anybody. Can't miss even one second of some lousy TV show.

All of it is ADD-ish beyond words.

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 07.12.2006

I'm with you on the TV fridge, TBW. It made me want to barf just a bit. It's called getting up during the commercials. Maybe that was made for housewives who have to cook while their favorite shows are on, but that's taking multitasking to an extreme level. Even a portable TV in the kitchen is a bit much, but the Fridge TV's are just not practical in any way. I can see those getting broken by kids in about 15 minutes.

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 07.12.2006

Commerials . . . what are commercials? I have a Tivo. It's great, I can press pause when I feel a big one brewing, drop trou, come back and hit play. Don't miss a minute.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 07.13.2006

Does Tivo have a subscription fee? Iwould get it if it didn't.

Speaking of which, I heard some kids talking about "Tivoing it". Just like xerox and google, more brand name verbs.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 07.13.2006

I say "Tivoing it" all the time, and the subscription fee for Directv Tivo is $5.99 a month. Well worth it, if you ask me.

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 07.14.2006

KOC: If you go through DirecTv it's 5.99/mo (as AB2K mentioned). However, if you have digital cable you can get stand alone Tivo boxes and they have a yearly or lifetime subscription fee (not sure how much). One thing is for sure, try to stay true to Tivo brand. I've tried both the Tivo and the "DVRs" that are on the market. Huge difference!! You have a lot more recording/programming options with a Tivo. Season pass anyone?

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.14.2006

How about Tivo IN the bathroom?! Now THAT would be luxury! Worth $5.99 any day of the week!

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 07.14.2006

Well, I don't have Direct TV, and I have the cheapest form of basic cable which still costs me 56 bucks a month.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 07.14.2006

KOC, you may wanna check into DTV. Starting package around $30-$35/mo so you get Tivo and STILL save money. (sorry guys, I worked for their customer service dept for years and even after quitting I still think they are the best, so I'm biased)

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Thunderbox (1382) -- 07.14.2006

Come on guys - do you really need to watch that much TV. Get out into the countryside - or town - a bit more.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.14.2006

Boxy-- I live in Orange County. It's a sprawling suburb. There is no country. I have to watch Ground Force on BBC America to see country.

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.14.2006

I don't have to watch TV to see country, I can't imagine. Rural middle America is right outside, and backwoods, gravel roads are only a very short drive away. Directly outside my window right now: tree covered, rolling hills draped in a hazy fog left over from the afternoon thunderstorms...I'm in the "Big City" all day, and then back home to this.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 07.14.2006

Well, Phil, you don't have to rub it in.

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.14.2006

Not always great though GGG, we lost power for a while today because lightning hit something. Sometimes if the wind blows the wrong way, everthing stops. I used to have Dish Network, and could never watch TV if it was bad weather.
Other than that, it's ok. I'm sure you guys have good points also.

Lame comment! -1 point
Double Flush (626) -- 07.14.2006

I hardly watch TV anymore. I have your basic antenna, connected through a chain of RF adapters for game consoles. The games are mainly what I use the TV for. However, if I had cable and a TV card in my PC, I might use the PC as a DVR.

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.15.2006

I watch CNN sometimes, and then the History Channel. I'd say the total tv time for the week is under 2 hours. I'm usually working, golfing, Playstation, or here.

Thunderbox (1382) -- 07.15.2006

Golf is great, specially here in the home of golf. We`ll have to have a PR Open some day. Anyone interested? Have to be somewhere in the US of course, at least the first time.

What should the trophy be called...and the name of the competition.

John Daley (not verified) -- 07.15.2006

I`m in guys.

The Dumpster (2507) -- 07.15.2006

I'm not a golfer, TB, but I would certainly recommend that the winner get "The Brown Jacket."

The Big Wiper (2287) -- 07.16.2006

My new house wasn't ready for about six weeks after I had to move out of the old house. And during that time, living out of hotels, etc., I simply got out of the habit of watching TV, not that I ever watched that much before.

Between visiting the building site every day, working at my job and revising my writing, I just didn't have time to fool with TV. And I discovered that I really didn't miss it.

Now that I have it back, I find I've grown even more selective than I was before. I'll watch the Food Network to get recipe ideas, and Will and I like to watch movies from time to time together.

But right now, we're heavily into doing our own landscaping out here in the glorious country. Feels good. Watering, working with the earth, watching the new grass come up.

Phillip DeCrapper (81) -- 07.16.2006

Yeah, I hear you Wiper. TV is alright, but I'm way, way past the point of "Must See TV". Thunderbox, I've never been across the pond, but I've enjoyed this game since probably the age of 6 or 7. This last spring I did buy a set of Irons from a fellow in England, and they must have magical powers. I hit the ball better than ever. Do you think is because they're from the old country?

SamDamnit (1196) -- 08.23.2006

I just had my bathroom redone. The floors are now Saltillo tile and we have a nice roomy pedestal sink. There is not extra room in it though. I had to buy one of those etageres to put over the toilet, so Mary Mary and I could dit all our stuff in the bathroom. The toilet is the same, except for the fact that I am supposed to clean it more often.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Shit Volcano (3817) -- 10.19.2006

No, I don't feel any pressure to buy a luxury upgrade when I go into my bathroom. It's just another one of those yuppy trends where people go into poverty just to look rich. What is so cool about being rich? If I was rich, I certainly wouldn't go around driving a Lexus (blech!) or traveling to the French Riviera every summer (boring!), or joining the local golf club (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little!). I most likely would still live in the middle of the Nevada desert, with two hunting dogs and a chihuahua, and drive around in my 1988 Chevy pick-up truck.

Incidentally, my bathroom at the new house does have a large soaking tub, but it is old and one of those cheap plastic ones. Still a wonderful thing and it only cost me... well, it came with the house and that was only 69,000 dollars for the whole set-up. (Not just the bathroom.)

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.19.2006

I think this is mnothing more than a phase.

I am remodeling my circa 1962 bathroom right now. I an plainly see how someone could easily drop several grand on a bathroom if they wanted to.

But why?

As long as my toilet flushes, and sink and shower work, I am happy. What good is a super luxurious bathroom anyway (besides ego)?
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

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