Hershey Kisses prevent hershey squirts
We all want the Goldilocks shit: not too hard, not too soft. But there are those days when the shit-chute gets finicky, and we don't have the luxury of sampling two other colons in the hopes of finding Baby Bear's. We pretty much have to stick (or run) with the one we've got.
But can't there be a storybook-cure for mal-shits? Something like... I don't know... to treat diarrhea, you have to eat gobs of dark chocolate?
Dreaming? Not according to a new study conducted by researchers at Children's Hospital & Research Center in Oakland, CA. Their findings suggest that extract and flavonoids in cocoa beans put the lid on fluids that cause diarrhea.
They've still got work to do to demonstrate that this works in humans (their subjects in this study were cultures shitting on themselves in Petri dishes). However, I'm not waiting for the FDA approved study. Next time I get the runs, I'm self-prescribing Godiva, the Fall Collection.
(Above: it's either the world's worst case of diarrhea, or how they cured it.)