High school turd terrorism: a victim's perspective

High school turd terrorism: a victim's perspective

Posted 04.20.2006 by KeepOnCrappin

I was working in the theatre of my local high school when I found a copy of the Centreville High School Sentinel in the tech booth. Reading it, this is what I learned: be careful next time you go into a high school, because if you have to shit while you're in there,

Click for full-size version.

you had better have your will written and your epitaph engraved.

We always knew high school bathrooms were bad. This article discusses the fact that high school bathrooms are indeed terrible. If your bathroom at work never had any toilet paper, if the sinks were missing handles, if the toilets were covered in wet toilet paper, and if there was always a stench of piss and shit, would you want to work there anymore?

One must wonder how the students feel -- after all, they have to use these restrooms 180 days a year. What are we putting our children through? Remember, these children are the politicians of the future -- when we are all eighty and asking the government for money, what will these people say? Though I haven't personally spoken to any students about this, I can guess they probably don't like having to take dumps in nasty, disgusting bathrooms.

Fellow PoopReporters, if this were my workplace (which it actually kind of is) I would not work there for very long. Unfortunately, students don't have a choice. They must always attend school at the same school, with the same shitty restrooms. What can we do to fix this mess? Your comments are welcomed and requested.

A side note: the author of this article employed some metaphors about bathrooms that one could only find on PoopReport.com. Maybe our august site is being used for research, or maybe we have a budding PoopReporter -- either way, we should be proud someone is spreading the word about the terrors of the high school bathroom.

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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.

daphne (3667) -- 04.20.2006

Can we have a link to the actual report?
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Dave (11657) -- 04.20.2006

The actual report isn't online... KOC scanned it in. Click the image for a full-size version.

daphne (3667) -- 04.20.2006

Aha. What a sad article. Nicely written, but sad in content.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 04.20.2006

Very sad! What a loser, whomever it is, unravelling all the TP. Maybe they need lock the bathrooms, and give each teacher a key (chained to a toilet seat, of course). The students would have to put up collateral of either their cell phone or their car keys until they brought the toilet key back.

That, or they could put cameras in the johns and janes. (Only viewing the sink area and door, of course). Then they'd know who went in and when.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 04.20.2006

By the way, the article mentions the 'Colonade' that is the local shopping center a mile away.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 04.20.2006

I think a little parenting goes a long way in this matter. Teach your kids respect for property and the bathroom at an early age. Sure, everyone goes through a stage of asshatery when they're in high school, but some of the things we tell them will stick... I hope.

Jake Scwarz (not verified) -- 04.21.2006

I see both sides of this issue. On the one hand, YES: we should pay for better restrooms in schools. The students shouldn't have to use these nasty bathrooms.

On the other hand, however, at least some of the students are the REASON they have nasty bathrooms. Y'think the staff does that? At my high school, kids TRASHED the bathrooms. They would lock the stall doors, crawl out, then kick them in so the locks break. When stronger locks were installed, they'd kick the doors right off the hinges. You think a massive dump on the floor smells bad? Pour grape juice, milk and pee on the steam radiator and leave it for a week - THAT is a bad smell. Yes, kids did that (those 3 ingredients were rumored to be the cocktail of choice, but the end result was bad enough that I couldn't even approach the closed bathroom door)

So yes, we should pay for better upkeep, but what do we do if a number (even if it is a small number) of students intend to destroy anything we fix, simply for the fun of destroying it?

~ Jake
P.S. I think these might be all the "iron bowel" kids, who do this (at least partly) so that anyone who needs to actually go at school can be humiliated in every way possible.

daphne (3667) -- 04.21.2006

Apparently for some of our kids, the things we teach them only stick to the back of the tank.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Chuck (294) -- 04.21.2006

By chance would this be Centreville High School outside Dayton OH?

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 04.23.2006

It would not be, Chuck. Right now I'm not going to say which one, in case some school offical trys to shut down Poop Report. I belive that this Centreville High School is the only one spelled Centreville; all the others are spelled Centerville.
_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Turdle Dove (85) -- 04.23.2006

Might sound weird, but that kid Anuj is hot. Seriously. I'm 22, so I'm not THAT older than high school kids, and I don't date them anyway or engage in statutory rape, I'm just saying...

Maybe it's his surprisingly good writing and love of poop talk that does it for me. :)

poopfender (not verified) -- 04.24.2006

I totally agree. I still remember my high school's bathrooms back in Oklahoma, and I think half the notes in the suggestion box were telling them to clean the restrooms. Leaky, leaky toilets......

Kelly the coolest ever (not verified) -- 05.09.2006

Ok. i go to this school. That kid whines about something different every day. One day about myspace and the other day about popped collars. He's just bleh. Our bathrooms aren't that bad. he just went in on a bad day.

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 05.09.2006

Popped.....collars...??? Huh? Have I missed ANOTHER trend?!?

Drewkkake (not verified) -- 09.21.2006

I graduated from Centreville in '05, and I also was the editor-in-chief of the paper when that article was written... That article was over a year old at the time it was posted on this site, but I thought the bathrooms were pretty hit or miss. Sometimes it was tolerable to sit on the toilet and other times it was hazardous to get within a ten-foot radius. Needless to say, using the school toilets was a last resort. I don't know why "Kelly" would even bother posting, considering that she's a female; I didn't know of any high school girls that would drop a deuce and leave it without flushing, urinate all over the seat, or throw full toilet paper rolls in the bowl. So maybe Kelly had a fine experience in the women's restroom; unfortunately there were quite a few douchebag guys who obviously wrecked our bathrooms, and I'm sure it's not only a problem at Centreville. And Anuj, I thought, always had some pretty entertaining points of view and wasn't afraid to say things that other people would be hesitant to say.