poopreport : BMnewswire :

oxypowder

Infants on the John: alright or all wrong?

Posted 10.10.2005 by Logjam
This photo of seven-month old Hannah graced the front page of Sunday's New York Times. Hers may have been a petite movement, but it was not an isolated one. She is one of thousands of toilet savants in the US being reared on the theory that you're never too young to drop-plop into porcelain. (login: poopreport password: poopreport)

Parents like Hannah's are being trained in what proponents of this new philosophy call "elimination communication" -- learning to attend to subtle clues emitted by their little cuddly so the deary's derriere can be dangled over the toilet at opportune times.

Most enthusiasts are mothers with both a little shit and a lot of time on their hands. But Ms. Boucke, author of one of the method books, reports that fathers are getting into this, too. "They can't breast-feed, but they can work on the other end," she pointed out.

I’m so happy for these boobless dads, but after reading this article, I don't know what to feel for their diaperless infants. I'm suspicious, given that the rationales for early toilet training focus mostly on adult needs -- saved money, no dirty diapers to change or to toss into landfills, and feeling more bonded to the infant. And while it certainly seems humane to spare little ones sitting around unnecessarily in their own shit and piss, I’ve never known an infant who seemed to mind it much, as long as the shit was fresh.

The big question, of course, is whether this early head training will produce head cases -- neurotic shameful shitters in particular. For example, had PoopReport's own The Big Wiper been raised by Ms. Boucke, he would have been deprived of some of his fondest memories and earliest sense of accomplishment. I shudder to think of how the creative flow of many future PoopReporters may be dammed up by an eager-beaver mother and a dad who wishes he had tits.

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Fart Poopie (1254) -- 10.10.2005

This practice just doesn't seem right to me. First of all, babies aren't physically able to hold in their pee and poop. I can't imagine these babies don't have accidents.
Secondly, Babies pee and poop ALL DAY LONG. I was a stay at home mom when my kids were babies, and I can't imagine how these mothers find the time to keep up with a baby's constant urination/defacation to take them to the toilet in time. They'd have to be living in the bathroom and must never leave the house.
When a child is older and can hold it, then it's no problem. It didn't take more than a couple of weeks to potty train each of my kids. Why spend months worrying about it when they're not ready?

Fart Poopie (1254) -- 10.10.2005

P.S. If a parent is worried about environmental and financial issues that may arise from using disposable diapers, they can always use cloth diapers.

Flapping Colon (27) -- 10.10.2005

If they're that worried about financial issues, they should wait until they are financially able to have babies. I can't imagine just waiting for a baby to make that face and grunt so I could run them to the bathroom...jeez. That's no kind of life. Those kids are going to be serial killers or something. It's just not normal.

Bilgepump (1643) -- 10.10.2005

Duct tape the little basta....uh....urchins, to the toilet, hand them the Sunday Funny Pages, and let 'em get to grunting, works for me!!!!

AssBlaster2000 (1117) -- 10.10.2005

When I was a kid I knew this family who had a child less than 1 year old and they spanked the kid when he would not go to the potty. I remember feeling really bad for the kid.

As far as myself, I saw my mom going to the toilet, and was all like, "Dude, i wanna do that too!" So I did, and from what I've been told, never had toilet training issues.

Fart Poopie (1254) -- 10.12.2005

Assblaster, that's really sad. People who spank a child younger than 1 need to take some parenting classes. Anyone who expects their child younger than one to go the toilet on their own is a kook.
My kids were pretty much like you, Assblaster. they were about 2, 2 and half when they decided they wanted to go like mommy and daddy (and older siblings). Like I said before, it didn't take more than a couple of weeks for them to get the hang of it.

Lame comment! -1 point
healthy 1 (1423) -- 10.10.2006

Yeah AB2K, that is awful, Most of my family believes in hitting, I myself started getting "spanked" before age two. I will sonn have children, and believe in the old saying "spare the rod, spoil the child". It will take someting pretty bad to get me to spank my kids.

As for the early potty training. As long as as it is working, I see nothing wrong with it. Older babies usually are able to give a subtle warning before they drop their loaf. It is up to the parent to pick up that warning.
_______
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

Great comment! +1 point
GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 10.10.2006

Healthy 1, while I appreciate your attitudes toward child-rearing, that Biblical passage means the OPPOSITE of what you intend. A lot of people get that backwards.

It's not advocating spoiling a kid as a good thing. It means that a child who is never disciplined, who is allowed to run rampant will end up spoiled.

Also, I work around small children, and we have a couple moms who boast that their babies were "potty trained" at 9 months, 16 months, whatever... they grab the kid and run and get them there in time.

The BABIES aren't potty trained. The moms are.

DungDaddy (1370) -- 10.10.2007

I don't think it can hurt to try teaching the kids early. What produces head cases is parents who one way or the other teach their children that they are not loved. Failed or miss-guided potty training won't do that.

Great comment! +1 point
The Shit Volcano (3741) -- 10.10.2007

I think this is just another excuse by yuppies to push everything. Time is money and money is their life, and babies have to follow that schedule, too. Hell, these jackasses even induce labor now so that there kids are BORN on a schedule.

And we wonder why so many yuppy children shoot up their schools...

_______
What if everyone farted at once?

Great comment! +1 point
Hieronymous Bowels (122) -- 10.10.2007

This doesn't seem safe to me. If you have a special toilet for the child its one thing, but a toilet seat is actually quite dangerous for an infant who slips out of yuppie mommy's hands because she has to answer her cell phone. The potential for neck and spinal column damage from the infant falling through the toilet seat should be a primary concern.

healthy 1 (1423) -- 10.11.2007

Yes GGG. I guess I misrepresented what I really mean.

When a child does something wrong, they need to be punished, perhaps spanked in some cases.

Children need to be taugtht right from wrong, but there is a fine line between spanking and beating, that must never be crossed.

May I also add, how yong children are potty trained, is also a matter of culture. The above practice is widely accepted in India, but not so popular in Western cultures.

The "spankings" that I got as a child, are tottaly unjust. Using a belt, a stick, or getting a black eye at six years old like I got, is unjust punishment. _______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 10.11.2007

Sweetie, I'm not about to debate corporal punishment with you.

My mother used a metal spatula on my ass. The hefty kind with the big wooden handle and thick metal plate. She said it was because the slits in the metal allowed the skin to come up through, and made it sting more.

It did. Conversation over.

Deja Poo (615) -- 10.11.2007

What's the big rush? Every person, unless they're dain bramaged, will be potty trained whether you start at 1 or at 5.

It's interesting that, whether or not the parent is more actively involved in the process, most girls are potty-trained at 2.0-2.5 and most boys are potty-trained at 2.5-3.0. This seems to indicate that huge amount of the whole potty-training process has to do with physical development and less to do with Mom's and Dad's desires or techniques. It's also interesting to note that this is at precisely the same time that most kids' language, social and self-help skills start to explode.

You can lead a kid to the Kohler but you can't make him crap.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

The Thunderous ... (660) -- 10.11.2007

Well if you talk to MY grandmother my father was a genious he was allegedly toilet trained by the time he was 18 months. And yes she put him on the toilet til he did something. I can only imagine him being on there for hours at a time while he did his business. I guess thats how you toilet trained at that time prior to the Everybody Poops book series.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Post new comment



Prove you're not a spambot: what bodily function is this site about? Four letters, begins with p...

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

*

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
20,000 character limit / Flood control: 60 seconds between comments and no more than 10 comments per hour

toilet charity drive

 


About PoopReport | Advertise! | The PoopReport Press Room | Report Your Poop | Contact Dave | Copyright 2000-2008 PoopReport.com