The last few days have seen a flurry of stunning developments in the ever-evolving world of toiletry.
First, while the summer Olympic games in Beijing may still be a year away, the synchronized shitting has already gotten underway in Chongqing, China -- where a four-story, 32,000 square-foot facility boasting over a thousand toilets is being heralded as the world's largest public bathroom. Representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records are working overtime to authenticate the "world's largest" claim, as well as actively investigating whether the grandstand at the 2005 Daytona 500's record for "largest concentration of belching assholes gathered in one place" has been eclipsed.
In other news from the Far East, All Nippon Airways (comically referred to as Japan's "No. 2 carrier") has announced plans to install bidets in their fleet starting next year. Officials are hoping passengers who need to clear the runway, so to speak, will find this to be the most invigorating, hands-free asshole cleansing in the airline industry.
And finally, we turn to the good ol' U.S.A., where the red, white, and blue shelled out $19 million for the brown, green, and yellow. That's the staggering sum NASA paid Russia for a thunderbox American astronauts can uncoil their gastro-knots into on the International Space Station next year. This marvel of corn rocket science features, among other things, leg restraints (to prevent the defecating astronaut from becoming a floater himself) and an American-made device that converts piss into drinkable water. Many thanks to the brewmasters at Stroh's for sharing their expertise in this matter!
