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Longer stall partitions: the Minneapolis airport's key to poop-only bathrooms?

Posted 10.02.2007 by daphne
It was an incident that has most certainly left Gregory Hines and Fred Astaire fidgeting in their graves. It involved a homophobic senator, an international airport, and an undercover cop. It has become the most infamous case of mislead footsies this decade and one of the most infamous bathroom scandals of all time. And it was all made possible by roughly one foot of space between the floor and the stall partition in one particular men's room in the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport.

That space is about to disappear, says Metropolitan Airports Commission spokesman Patrick Hogan. The restroom in which Senator Larry Craig was arrested, along with one other, will be refitted with longer dividers that reach down almost to the floor. According to Hogan, the cost of changing the stall dividers will be $25,000. The airport has decided to spend the money on dividers instead of putting in cameras or hiring extra police patrols -- tactics that have been implemented in other airports.

Although there are eighty bathrooms in the airport, these are the only two to be renovated -- to renovate all of them would cost around one million dollars. These two bathrooms were chosen because of their location in the highest traffic area of the airport, near the main shops and restaurants (as well as the forty-one arrests on suspicion of "illicit sexual behavior" and the raves they've been getting on cruising websites).

Since Larry Craig's arrest, there have been almost no complaints of non-indigestion-related indiscretions in the restrooms in question -- the publicity seems to have taken care of the incidents, at least for the time being. But are the renovations worth $25,000? Were the funds well-spent? Will they be effective? Or will people just adapt to the complications and use them to their advantage, finding another way of pairing off -- probably outside the restroom before entering -- and then using the partitions as added privacy?

I think they will. Since the stall partitions were chosen instead of extra patrols or cameras, it occurred to me that, after the heat wears off, this will only make these restrooms even more private.

I found myself thinking of the human mind while researching this article. It's a devious little thing. It found ways around the Roman oppression during Christian times. It found ways to hide slaves in safe houses during the Civil War. It found a way to expose the Watergate scandal. It found ways to sneak beer into college dorms, not to mention co-eds. So now the bathroom stalls are even more private. With no cameras and no extra police, how much longer until the devious human mind replaces the ritual of inter-stall footsie with standing next to a certain bar, or gift shop, or collection of miniature Remington statues in the duty-free shop? The mating ritual that was once limited to a space between commercial tile and steel will now certainly migrate somewhere else, perhaps somewhere near poorly-made sportswear proclaiming "My friend went to St. Paul and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." It may become as insidious as ordering a certain drink in a certain bar while seated at a certain stool.

Will this act of renovation end promiscuity in the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport and ensure that the only moans men hear in the stalls are due to the food court a few gates down the concourse? I'm not holding my breath.

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Dave (11578) -- 10.02.2007
Timely!
Deja Poo (615) -- 10.03.2007

What a waste of money. Even school system architects know that you prevent undesired behavior in the crappers by removing the doors.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Great comment! +1 point
Bunga Din (1239) -- 10.03.2007

Great report Daphne!! My question would be, if the stalls go all the way to the bottom what's preventing two people from entering the stall and having their fun? Maybe the people will employ a Morse code of tapping on stall walls to signify availability.

If this happens, who does it really harm, they have privacy, they aren't offending anyone, so is this legal, can you pair off in a public bathroom as long as you aren't disturbing your fellow compootriots? If an officer took it upon himself to look over the stall wall would he not in fact be invading your privacy? I think an easier idea would be to put up FAKE cameras (they have them) and put up a big sign indicating the area is under 24 hour surveillance, people still have their privacy but it will discourage, maybe not stop all activity of a sexual nature at a fraction of the cost.

Bilgepump (1640) -- 10.04.2007

A Couple of things to clear up...first, the Minneapolis/St.Paul Airport should, in fact, be called the Minneapolis/Mendota Heights Airport...and St. Paul should never, ever, have to bear the shame of Minneapolis. The only good thing about that airport is its the fastest way out of that fucking hole, Minneapolis.

The Thunderous ... (660) -- 10.05.2007

Wait a second Bilge. I think an even more pressing issue is how they get the price of $25K to have a partition to the floor. Thats an extra FOOT of material. Why dont they just get some sheetrock at $50-$60 dollars a sheet you only need a foot so maybe you can do TWO stalls with one sheet. Shit THEN you could do 80 bathrooms with 40 sheets at the low low cost of $2400. Where are they getting these partitions from? Someone doesnt know how to price materials. Are they made of titanium? Even if they are graffiti proof someone still needs to get a better price
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

The Dumpster (2506) -- 10.05.2007

You can't use sheet rock in bathroom stalls, TTC. It has to be something moisture-proof, but I agree that tile board (which is even cheaper than sheet rock) would be a cheaper fix.

Daph, this was an excellent Newswire.

Bunga, fake cameras will expose you to increased liability in some circumstances.

Great comment! +1 point
Deja Poo (615) -- 10.05.2007

This will never do. You need to think like a bureaucrat in order to appreciate the possibilities. First, get some third worlder to stand by the door and check ID. Make sure that everybody entering the bathroom is either an employee or a ticketed passenger. Install metal detectors and x-ray machines. And, of course, make them take their shoes off before entering. Don't forget to add an extra $11 per ticket for administration of this new safety protocol.

How about having everybody fill out a form before entering stating that they will not tap their feet on the floor while setting on the turder? Then the patrons could at least wipe their ass with their copy of the signed form, saving the taxpayers a bundle on TP.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Lame comment!
Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.05.2007

this site gets worse all the time

Great comment! +1 point
daphne (3522) -- 10.05.2007

Somewhere, George Carlin is weeping with joy. He doesn't know why. He just knows somewhere, somehow, someone has said something he'd agree with. And Deja Poo is that person.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Thunderous ... (660) -- 10.06.2007

See thats what I'm sayin here Dumpster there MUST be a cheaper way and ONCE AGAIN state govt has NOT chosen that route. I am sure if we all put our heads together we could come up with a way cheaper solution and if tileboard is cheaper you could do all of the stalls and still come out way ahead in this game. Geez. So Tileboard is one solution come on peeps lets get some more and maybe we should submit this page to the state of 10,000 lakes for their perusal.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Bill O'Donnell (not verified) -- 10.06.2007

Take the damn stall doors off. It's cheaper, and will eliminate all problems

daphne (3522) -- 10.06.2007

Thunderous, they could have used the same steel that makes the partitions, and instead of making whole, new, 7-foot high partitions, they could have made 1-foot high ones and bracketed them in place. Is this what you mean? An add-on instead of a whole new piece?

Someone should write a letter to the editor suggesting that.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Thunderous ... (660) -- 10.06.2007

See Daph you're right on the money! I dont know HOW they can get $25K out of 1 foot extensions! I'd like to see em try though. Im tellin ya our ideas rock we should send this page to the editor or better yet the airport commission or whoever runs the airport. What do you think Dave? I think these suggestions are all good except for my sheet rock one.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Mary Queen of Scats (387) -- 10.08.2007

The same way our government spends $100 on a hammer Thunderous.

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Man who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

daphne (3522) -- 10.08.2007

This kind of reminds me of a friend Mr. daphne had in the military. He told me about some of the jobs he'd heard about that were employed at the Pentagon. One of them was Official Ketchup Tester. That's crazy.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 10.09.2007

Deja Poo, I love your wit and wisdom. Never lose it! You are one of the reasons I came back.

On topic, $25,000 is cheap for a state government repair. In Oregon it would be at least $300,000 and they'd raise property taxes (again) to pay for it all.

But Daphne is right. If they are trying to discourage this sort of bathroom behavior (which no one should give a rat's ass about), then why make it harder to be seen inside the stall?

_______
What if everyone farted at once?

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 10.09.2007

Fantastic idea!!! Make the stalls even more private. The things people come up with....sheeesh
Producing waste since 1967

healthy 1 (1423) -- 10.10.2007

Any modifications should not be needed in the first place.

Adults know right from wrong, and should have enough common sense to respect the person in the next stall's privacy. It is just a matter of common sense and respect.

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