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make it a brown xmas

Malaysia fights bad crapper rap

Posted 05.02.2006 by PooperGal
After PoopReport's own Samdamnit exposed the putrid underbelly of tavern toilets in Austin, Texas, one might be led to think that the grottiest crappers are in our own homeland. But guess again! Malaysia has acknowledged itself as home of the whoppin' nasty public restroom -- and the Southeast Asian country's authorities are fixing to do something about it.

According to Deputy Housing and Local Government Minister Robert Lau, Malaysia is planning a National Toilet Summit for August 24-25 as a way to educate the public about the importance of a clean crappatorium. The current state of toilet affairs in Malaysia is, Lau says, truly dismal. "If a toilet is a person [in Malaysia], he should protest to the Human Rights Commission because he is unfairly treated," says Lau. "The vision... is to establish a clean toilet culture."

A clean toilet culture? Sounds like a super t-shirt and coffee mug op!

So what is the Malaysian ideal for the public restroom? It is a pristine, fragrant, comforting room in which all comers may purge bladder and bowel while enjoying the succor of a sanitary, safe, and perhaps even spiritually-redeeming respite from the daily grit, noise, and hustle of bustling Kuala Lumpur.

Is that too much to dream of? Perhaps, but Lau and his comrades are going to do their darndest to bring their grand vision to fruition. And businesses and other establishments with public toilets will be on the receiving end of the government's wrath should they fail to live up to the grand vision. Lau points out that there will be fines to pay and business licenses may even not be renewed for those who don't keep their crappers minty-fresh.

We Western folk could learn a thing or two from Deputy Minister Lau. Just look at ourselves. I mean, really! The way we treat toilets in the United States, the United Kingdom, continental Europe and Central and South America should be a source of shame to all of us. And India, are you listening? Shame! We drop greasy loads that barely make it into the bowl, splattering rims and soiling the surrounding floor. We spew vomit laden with half-digested curry, beer, refried beans and Ding Dongs into our toilets' cool, white recesses. And both male and female users pepper the seat with droplets of poorly-aimed pee. We do a half-assed cleaning once a year or so, or avoid sanitary maintenance altogether, just tossing a big "mint" or a cartridge that leaks gawdawful blue liquid into the tank to mask the stench. The beleaguered Western toilet serves as a disposal unit for tampons, pumpkin-sized wads of toilet paper, phlegm balls hawked up during our morning ablutions, spoiled milk, noxious chemicals, and clumps of dog hair pulled from the grooming brush. The indignities visited upon our toilets are limitless.

To be quite frank, Malaysian restrooms got nuthin' on us. Maybe we could bring Deputy Minister Lau over as a consultant to show us how it's done. I'd welcome the opportunity to learn from those who, before us, have placed their feet firmly in the floor-toilet positioning footprints and let their ideas flow freely.

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 05.02.2006

Sounds like a plan to me. Restrooms at fast food places, gas stations, and rest areas have really got to get better.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

daphne (3667) -- 05.03.2006

OOoo, don't forget dental floss. Lots of people flush dental floss.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Double Flush (604) -- 05.03.2006

I, too, have noticed how we Americans abuse our own toilets. I often see people flushing Q-tips, paper towels, condoms, and whatever else. Also, without the university charging residents and paying for housekeeping staff (for whom I am eternally grateful), the bathrooms would be a total wreck! Just take a look on a Sunday night (Housekeeping gets weekends off) and you'll see that the mess is growing fast.

Please, America. Respect our toilets!


_______
Because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 05.03.2006

Yes! PooperGal, great report!

Educating people on proper bathroom care, and respecting the room itself is something that needs to be done at an early age. However, when you have businesses keeping shoddy restrooms, a lesson in good business practice is called for.

Clean restrooms make customers happy. Happy customers come back (granted, your other services must be good too). Loyal customers are responsible for the majority of revenue. More revenue = more cash in the wallet, which is why people start businesses in the first place.
To me, it makes no sense for businesses to keep dirty bathrooms if they care at all about making money.

Disclaimer:
I'm not an economist/business owner, nor have I taken any business or econ classes outside of the required courses in high school and college. If you are an economist or have a degree in business and you disagree that clean bathrooms make a difference, then please educate me on the matter.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 05.03.2006

Neither am I an economist/buisness owner, but Subway's crappers are some of the dirtiest I have seen, and I go to subway often.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

PooperGal (527) -- 05.03.2006

Of course, the guys who are handling your food are probably using the crapper regularly, and not everyone pays attention to the sign about employees having to wash their hands. You might want to re-think eating in a place with gross bathrooms.


_______
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 05.03.2006

KOC, you're an exception. Most of us know you are willing to gamble with your body.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 05.03.2006

I hope not to have such problems as I encountered at KFC in my next two reports, KOC @ Outback Steakhouse and KOC @ Taco Bell.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Poopgirl (78) -- 06.25.2006


Toilets are people? Is that what he said?
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Thunderbox (884) -- 06.25.2006

I`ve shat in many Malaysian toilets and they`re generally OK, if smelly. I`m working on another Travelog on the most heinous and weird shitters I`ve come across around the world which I hope to have ready in a few weeks - there are a lot of shitters to consider, it may have to be a serial report.

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 06.26.2006

Box-- If it's serial-by-nation, that'd be great! Kind of like a Fodor's For Toiletting.

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