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One giant leak for mankind

Posted 05.29.2008 by Dave
Wrenches, spare parts for an oxygen generator, and a microbe-killing device: three things that, in space, are less important than a functioning toilet. Each of those items have been removed from the cabin of the Discovery Space Shuttle to make room for a pump needed to fix the urine collection device aboard the International Space Station.

For the past week, astronauts aboard the ISS have been alternating between their only other civilized option -- the toilet on the Soyuz return capsule -- and a "back-up bag-like collection system" NASA engineers developed for just such an emergency. Given the challenges surely presented by peeing in zero-gravity (picture splashback droplets floating around the cabin like plankton in a poorly-maintained aquarium), the mechanical toilet surely involves some sort of negative air-pressure device that sucks urine into a receptacle; I'm hard-pressed to imagine how a non-mechanical device can properly function.

On Earth, sanitary waste management relies on two forces: the muscles of the body, which physically propel liquids and solids at velocity through one of two apertures; and gravity, which we trust to ensure that-which-is-no-longer-us goes into the toilet and stays there. Our bodies evolved to rely on gravity as a constant; there's a reason these excretory apertures function best when aimed downward. But in space, while the muscles of the body continue to function, the lack of gravity means that streams of effluvia will not simply drop with a satisfying plop, but instead ricochet about an enclosed area with an equal and opposite velocity to that at which it was expelled (allowing for friction caused by viscosity, of course; but in zero-G, you shouldn't place your hopes for a particle-free oxygen on your waste's penchant for stickiness).

So on Wednesday, a NASA employee left Russia (where the ISS's toilet was built) with a thirty-five pound replacement pump packed in a diplomatic pouch and carried onto a commercial airliner as hand luggage. The galaxy's most important plumber's assistant is en route to Florida, where Discovery is set for launch on Saturday. The shuttle will dock with the ISS on Monday, at which point the three panicked astronauts aboard the ISS will presumably rush the airlock and head straight to Discovery's bathroom.

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Dave (11977) -- 05.29.2008

The New York Times write-up of this story is great, with a nice little bit of dry humor that deviates from the neutral voice a Times article is supposed to have (a deviation that is acceptable to the editors for reasons I discuss in my book). An interesting footnote from the article:

"Of all the technological achievements of space travel, none has captured the popular imagination as much as bathroom physics. Mike Mullane, a former astronaut and professional speaker, said questions about the operations of space toilets are the most popular questions from audiences by 'more than ten to one' over such questions as 'have I seen any aliens' and 'did we fake the moon landing.'

"Mr. Mullane, who has written a ribald book, 'Riding Rockets: The Outrageous Tales of a Space Shuttle Astronaut,' recalled that on a shuttle mission in 1984, mission managers shut down the urine collection system out of concerns that an icicle of frozen urine at the discharge port could damage the spacecraft's delicate tiles during reentry. The crew, including astronaut Judith Resnick, had to urinate in plastic 'Apollo bags' that are stored on board.

"It was, he said, an annoyance, but 'it's one of those camping-trip kind of things you have to adjust to.' Set against the larger risks and grandeur of space travel, he said, 'this is small potatoes.'"

ChiefThunderbutt (2712) -- 05.29.2008

Bravo, interesting article!

Question: In acordance with Newton's first law of motion, can astronauts propel themselves around the space station with fart power?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (3866) -- 05.29.2008

That was my very thought also Chief. I was also wondering if they pee'd, would the propelled piss stream eventually circle the earth and hit them in the back of the helmet?

MSG (1142) -- 05.29.2008

I think the farter's pants would have to be down and butt exposed, or the force would simply be stopped against the clothing. What a film that would make!

Celiac Spew (5) -- 05.29.2008

Bringing a new meaning to "fire aft thrusters".
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Sorry, couldn't resist! But in all seriousness, I wonder if lighting one would make you go faster?

Hum bunger (108) -- 05.29.2008

I hope none of those astronauts get a case of the runs. How would you bag the liquishits in 0-g? What a nightmare.

The Thunderous ... (741) -- 05.30.2008

Oh lets hear it for Whoopi Goldberg's comment Why dont they just stick their asses out the window and go. BRILLIANT WHOOPI BRILLIANT!! Glad YOU dont work for NASA!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

daphne (4391) -- 05.30.2008

I think she may have been joking..... :)


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano (3817) -- 05.31.2008

I'd love to see the guy at the airport explaining his "carry-on" to the grumpy TSA bitch that stops him in security.

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Born right the first time.

ChiefThunderbutt (2712) -- 06.01.2008

While we're on the suject of fart power, if everyone in the world faced east and farted at the same time would the earth's rotation be slowed?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

The Shit Volcano (3817) -- 06.02.2008

Chief, you have to come in the forums and read my topic, "What if everyone farted at once?" We have a rather interesting discussion that goes on about that very topic. Occasionally.

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Born right the first time.

phatmanxxl (514) -- 06.03.2008

Popping in zero gravity would be the funniest thing in the world! Everybody duck!

Herbert (not verified) -- 06.05.2008

This was actually mentioned on the Colbert Report recently. As Stephen Colbert reminded us, the toilet was replaced "not with a bag, but with a bag-like collection system. Heroes do not poop in bags." :-)

Dave (11977) -- 06.06.2008
Deja Poo (966) -- 06.20.2008

You can always create the illusion of gravity with centripetal force. Just most the toilet on a wall that spins like, like a huge gerbil wheel hooked up to a motor. Next velcro yourself onto the toilet and set the whole thing in motion. As the wheel spins, there is the "illusion" of gravity. Of course, you wouldn't have to spin very fast because you wouldn't need the full "G", just enough to make your excrement fall downwards relative to the axis of spin.

Of course, I wouldn't want to be the frog in that blender, although I might suffer through it just to get into space. It would, however, make a great video, if you could fix a camera on the axis of spin.
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My special needs kid crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Squat-n-leaveit (540) -- 06.23.2008

So... The toilet works on the principal of a "negative pressure device." You talking about a fan? Could it be that the trouble started when the shit hit the fan?

mrsfrbrd (1) -- 07.02.2008

I wouldnt want to be the one in front of the fan.

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