I'm shocked that Logjam didn't remember this, but we've discussed Whiff on this site before, way back in 2005. In fact, Chris Rockwell of the dearly departed Daily Download even tried the stuff (listen to the 7.9.2005 show).

I`ve found that planes are actually great fart filters. It`s probably a combination of what the seats are made of and the way the cabin air must be sucked out downwards.

I regularly drop massive gas bombs mid-flight and can`t smell anything. No neighbours upset either. Try that on a bus or train.

Smelly feet are usually better controlled on planes, too - saying that on the last long haul flight the guy next me had rotting halibut in his socks. Dirty stinking bastard.

I'm not quite sure about this one. It is sort of like todays medical profession. Treating the symptoms and not curing the disease. I for one would not want to be breathing in shit molecules unknowingly. Shit is shit whether it smells or not. Like natural gas, the smell is the warning. I would rather deal with conventional weapons than stealth technology. Besides, I can stink up a 757 pretty well myself. Maybe we'll be on the same flight some day LJ.

While I empathize with LJ's plight, some of it is his own damn pacifist fault...fight back, damn it!!! Don't load up your i-pod with Raitt, and whatever the hell else, load up your guts with ranch beans, bad hot dogs, luke warm beer, and pickled eggs, pre-flight, and FIGHT BACK!!! I'm damn tired of these "turn the other cheek" passive aggressive fuckers, who get put upon in public, and take it out on their loved ones in private....sack up, LJ, and fight back, man. I got yer back, as always.

_Just to be lame----- I'm with PD on this one, treating the symptom, is no cure, its like fighting fires. You have to go for the cause, not the result.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Dave, I was shocked, too, to discover this gap in my memory. I pulled my 2005 calendar off the shelf and discovered I was on a business trip when that BM article appeared and Chris did his podcast. Obviously on my return, I didn't do a proper job of catch-up. You got me all excited to hear Chris do a test of it. All that was on the 7.9.05 podcast was a looong interview with Stephen. Perhaps the actual test is downstream somewhere. If someone finds it, please post the date.

Bilge, it's fun to think about "taking the fight to the fartists," but lots of innocents would suffer. Plus as a policy it would only enrich the breeding ground for future fartists. I'm hoping that the new government in Pakistan might eventually produce some positive results.

Thunderbox. You're fun on the site, but I hope we never cross flight paths.

LJ, I admire that about you, thinking of others before yourself. I'm glad I'm not like that, but I DO admire it.

Bilge, I hate to admit this but ... sometimes your jokes go right over my head.

Actually, I was mocking myself, LJ...not much of joke, and I really do admire that particular quality you possess....I try....not always successfully, to emulate that.

The link for Whiff is interesting. I felt as if I was reading "Whiff - breath mints for your ass", and that's fine with me. If someone is going to mask the smell of their back door, I'm all for it.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I would think that plane seat cushions would have what I call MFA which is Maximum Fart Absorption. When a cushion has that you can crack rats to your hearts content and noone will be the wiser. I know one time we took my parents to see 42nd street the musical on broadway. The theater had these really nice thick cushions and of course we had just eaten at a gourmet Italian restaurant. I was cracking farts left and right and there was no smell. Even when I got up at intermission no lethal gas escaped.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Thunderous, Broadway is notorious for having homeless people find shelter under the seats of various playhouses on that street...their called the Fartsuckers...for good reason....and you, sir, are an enabler.

and furthermore, Thunderous, I see from your profile that you live in New Jersey. Like we're going to trust YOUR sense of smell.

There is another great little ass freshener called Sphinchterine that might be helpful.

You could try handing them out to the folks seated near you on your next flight. They might appreciate it.
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Happy Crappin'
Homegrown Media Network

Good report as always Logjam. I too have experienced an overwhelming sense that there is a great deal of overt flatulence on airliners. No matter which airline I've taken it seems you get a whiff of waste every few minutes. Rather than accept that passengers are always to blame I decided to dig deeper into this. I visited Boeings website and have uncovered SHOCKING details regarding air circulation inside these tubes of turdosity, you can find the details here. What's more shocking is if you download the PDF for the "Cabin Air Environment" you will get this. If you take a look closely at this graphic it seems they have a person(s) bent over releasing ass aroma directly into the cabin, they also show the circulation patterns of this, showing how nowhere in the plane is safe from this odiferous onslaught. Why they do this is anyones guess, my thinking is they want you off that plane as fast as possible, and what better way than to make each trip a bummer.

This explains it all, Bunga. And here's another possibility as to why. The last time this happened to me, I passed on what food they did offer, because I couldn't tolerate the idea of eating when every mouthful would be accompanied by vaporized shit. So if even 1/4 of passengers are doing the same, the airlines are putting peanuts in the bank. They probably feed some of those extra peanuts to the guy(s) overhead who may be doing it for nothing but the extra food and the fun of it all. Clever, really. I've been holding back, but I'm going to buy stock in the airlines now. They're finally thinking outside the box.

Bunga Din, That picture answered my question of the real reason why they banned smoking on domestic flights. What a fire hazard!

The guy's are going to have to open one package for every two peanuts. I hope the airlines have had the foresight to buy in bulk.

LJ, I am also from New Jersey, and I would like to tell my favorite NJ joke.

Girl from Brooklyn is out with her boyfriend, parked in a secluded area. In the heat of passion she whispers to him, "kiss me where it stinks". So he drives her to Jersey.

My son's poos have been so smelly and messy, it took days to get the smell out of the bathroom even after I cleaned and pulled out everything. He's taking showers after them because it is so bad.
I told him to eat some more fruit and veggies and I bought Oust spray. It is better, but the smell permeates. His hands smell even after washing twice. He's getting better at keeping it cleaner, but this is bad.

Please HELP!

Thunderbox, I've laid some bad crampy stomach gas on the plane ride to the middle east once, and I could very well smell it. It didn't seem to get sucked down at all. Wasn't ashamed so much as uncomfortable that the Major sitting next to me seemed to notice...I was doing it constantly too lol.

Jesus bilge that never occured to me that I was an enabler. Do they have a Broadway chapter of RAT CRACKERS anonymous?
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!