No wonder Grocery store donuts taste like shit!

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Ugh! You mean those chocolate sprinkles were poop???

Man, I don't want to know what the custard really is.

:@)
www.hogwild.net
semi-hilarious comedy

As Logjam said, our goal is to embrace poop as the great social equalizer -- the one thing that reminds us of our common humanity. And as he said, we need to know our enemy. In the process of editing this post, Logjam and I engaged in an interesting discussion: does this guy actually qualify as a turd terrorist? He says no, and I agree. I'm not sure if my reasoning is the same is his, but I say no because a turd terrorist like our old nemesis The Shitman (who would smear his poop all over bathroom walls) is someone who wants strangers to have to viscerally confront his poop. A turd terrorist defiles bathrooms and mailboxes and car door handles in the most visible and shocking ways possible. This guy here, though he used his turds to do disgusting and awful things, is not a turd terrorist by that definition -- because no one knew what he was doing. Until he was caught, no one who was eating poop sprinkles knew it. He was doing it for his own secret enjoyment -- not for others' public revulsion.

Perhaps there are two kinds of turd terrorists: those who terrorize in order to cause disgust in others, and those who terrorize in order to feel power in their actions.

I'm not sure if I'm making a good argument as to the distinction. Logjam, help me out here.

I agree with your analysis, Dr. Dave. I'd add only that a terrorist of any stripe has a political motivation. On the other hand, a sick person (which I think the shit sprinkler was), is not political -- just nuts, and his motivations are nearly unfathomable until you start breaking the code of his internal world. Because of this, I wouldn't even call him a terrorist, though he certainly in the end caused terror.

But do consider this point, Dave-O: substitute anthrax for shit sprinkles here and what have you got? A true terrorist. So is it the intent or the substance that defines the act here? Feedback, please.

Well, at least he was caught, tried, and convicted. I would hate to live in a society where the only way I had to settle my differences was by hunting down turd terrorists and shooting them in the street. Thus, contrary to the comments of my esteemed friend and colleague, C. Everett Poop, in another post on this site, lawyers are not all shit-eating scoundrels. They, along with the laws they make and the courts that enforce them, are really all that separates us from the cave man.

Having said that seriously, I remember a couple of years ago where an inmate at our local jail here in Stewsburg who was employed in the kitchen was discovered to have stirred his feces into the ground beef, his piss into the apple juice, and his semen into the banana pudding. I can no longer consume any of those formerly favorite foods without a certain tightening of the sphincter.

And--news flash to TBW--a lady was recently captured giving her ex-husband a blow job in the local Piggly-Wiggly deli. Don't think I'll be eating there again anytime soon, either!

I agree with Dave. The doughnut fertilizer, while very mentally ill, is not a turd terrorist in the purest sense of the term. In order to cause fear the terrorist needs their dastardly deeds to smack the public in the face.

I think a more proper term for such a person would be re-turd-ed.

"Substitute anthrax for shit sprinkles here and what have you got? A true terrorist. So is it the intent or the substance that defines the act here? Feedback, please."

True. But in the court transcript, Nahidmobarekeh seems to claim he didn't think the poop would hurt anybody. And it wouldn't have -- I think microwaving poop kills any bacteria that may live in it, and evaporates the water that might enable new bacteria to grow. So it was a victimless crime in the sense that the victims didn't know it. Anthrax, on the other hand, would cause harm in people.

Here's is the difference: we all hear stories of cooks spitting (or worse) in food for annoying customers. It doesn't hurt the customer. The customer doesn't even know if happened. It is strictly for the psychological gratification of the culprit.

A turd terrorist like The Shitman wants people to know they're encoutering his poo. His poop functions as an extension of his body -- in my pop psych opinion, he's feels so powerless in life that this is the only way he feels he'll ever impact the lives of others. Nahidmobarekeh here wasn't trying to impact others. I think this has something to do with his relationship with authority.

I better stop playing Sigmund. Now I'm the one sprinkling bullshit...

Go do what Sigmund did with Sieglide.

I'm sorry--I meant "Sieglinde." My Volsung is a bit rusty.

Is he, or isn't he, a turd terrorist?
You're all getting into some deep, unnecessary psychological shit here.

Simply put-- He's an asshole. :)

Fart Poopie. To get funding to do research in the social sciences, you first have to muddle up an important issue to the degree that no one believes they know the answer anymore. So this is just the first step in a long process to get the feds to pay for this site and for the yearly conference we want to have. Please play along.

Logjam, see my post under "Man in the Can," where I just finished explaining to Fart Poopie what a convention of PR regulars would be like. I am glad to see you high muckety-mucks are greasing the skids.

Sorry; I was explaining it to Pill Pooper, but you are all such Big Pieces of Shit to me! ;-)

Oops. Sorry...
um... what I meant to say was that, clearly, deceitfully committing an act such as this is a sign that this man has a case of conduct disorder.
Taking into notice that he claims to have done it as a way to get revenge because of an altercation with the store, shows a hint of oppositional-defiant disorder. One of our expert Poopreporters should try to interview this man in order to discover any severe deep-seated issues he may have.

That is just disgusting and dangerous.

Somebody with a contageous disease could do alot of harm to innocent people. What is it with society these days?

Are things getting so bad that we have to worry about what we are putting in opur mouths too?

I am speechless.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.