I usually get rid of hiccups by holding my breath until I can't stand it anymore. When I breathe again, the hiccups are gone.

I gotta tell you Sam, this is a rather interesting writeup. Maybe sometime when I have a glove or plenty of soap handy, I might try that.

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I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

Thanks, Flushy. I think this medical breakthrough might just be the beginning of a social revolution. I mean, if all the uptight people in the world, would just shove things up their butt once in a while, we could could end up with a kinder gentler world. hand shaking might have to be eliminated as a greeting, though.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

So if I hear the guy in the next cubicle giggling, I will know that he was using the Digital Masage, and hit his prostate *squirming* ew, ew, ew, just the thought of it.

I wonder how the treatment works though, seriously.

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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Um, thanks for that... interesting report, Sam. It's, uh... very interesting and, um... interesting. Yeah.

What I want to know is what was going through the doctor's mind.

"Hm. This patient's hiccups won't go away. I think I'll insert my finger into his anus and massage his rectum a little bit. Let's see if that helps." Could you imagine his suprise when it actually worked?

"if I hear the guy in the next cubicle giggling, I will know that he was using the Digital Masage, and hit his prostate"

Perhaps. It is also possible that he was just reading The Poop Report.
............ or remembering the last hooker that he dismembered.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Maybe it works b/c the initial shock of having something jammed up your ass makes you inhale deeply and disrupt the hiccups? Dunno...
Intriguing topic... I'm sorry, It's late and I need to go to bed now. If only these pesky hiccups would stop! Woooo!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Actually, that's what caused my hiccups in the first place. Very paradoxical.
Fortunately, someone screamed behind me at that moment and the shock cured the hiccups. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face...

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There's a certain air about me....

It has to be the shock of it all. I wonder if simply threatening a hiccuper (made-up word) with sticking your finger up their butt will make them stop hiccuping.

Perhaps telling some one that you are going to kick them int he nuts, would cure them.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Yeah, but what if that someone is like me and doesn't have nuts?

Yeah SamDamnit, good point. I'll pray that the guy in the cubicle is giggling because he is reading this thread, and thinks it's funny.

Heaven forbid that the reason he is laughing is because of the last reason *shuddering*.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

SamDamnit (984) -- 10.27.2006
"Thanks, Flushy. I think this medical breakthrough might just be the beginning of a social revolution. I mean, if all the uptight people in the world, would just shove things up their butt once in a while, we could could end up with a kinder gentler world. hand shaking might have to be eliminated as a greeting, though."

I was under the iimpression that all the uptight people in the world were uptight because they already had a large object stuck up their ass.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Hey, whatever works, right? A word of warning, though: if the doctor grabs you by the shoulders to reassure you that the rectal massage is going well, hiccups may be the least of your problems.

I'm not sure which I hate worse, rectal exams or hiccups. Great! Now I am in that Harry Mudd, Star Trek conundrum that killed Norman the Android! "Norman coordinate! Does not compute!" Hmmm, hiccups or something up my ass?....

Damn it. They both suck!

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

"I was under the iimpression that all the uptight people in the world were uptight because they already had a large object stuck up their ass."

True enough. I have often heard the term "What crawled up his ass?" or "That woman has a stick up her butt", in reference to the uptight people of the world. I also think that people who were anally violated by their peers (in the navy, perhaps), have some serious issues that might make them uptight.

Over all, I think that a positive butt probing experience would be for the betterment of all. .......... well...... at least all guys. It may be the most important thing that I have learned from my gay friends. The prostate is a wonderful sex organ. I recommend it's usage to my fellow heteros. "Once you get a finger up the crack, you can't go back." For women........... not so much, I hear. .
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Sam, for more on that look at my latest post on the flame forum.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Uh Oh. I'll have to check that out, Loggy.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Have you hiccups or have you gas?
Just stuff your finger up your ass.
With it up there a little bit,
It'll finish your hiccups and help you shit.
And greatest of ills against which it prevails,
It will keep you from chewing on your nails.

Sam, don't go giving yourself the hiccups so you can repeatedly and forcefully "cure" yourself.

He stopped due to the shock of a finger in his brown eye...Did they warn him first,or was it a surprise...Poor guy bends over to pull his drawers up and *aargh!*

Someone had a finger broken that day.

Ug...my doctor has fingers the size of a medium-size penises. I don't want them ANYWHERE near my butt. I'll deal with the hiccups!

I use a technique that a Chinese co-worker taught me to rid my self of those meddlesome hiccups. The Ancient Chinese Secret is as follows:

You take a gulp of water and before swallowing, you bend at the waist so your upper body is parallel to the floor and swallow. Pause before returning to an upright position for 5-10 seconds. It usually doesn't take performing this twice to rid myself of them. I'm wondering of it has something to do with the compression of the diaphram while swallowing or something.

Anything but a finger in the pooper!

Very strange RX.
Producing waste since 1967

Agree with DF - holding the breath usually does it. Or a glass of water - but not too cold.

Wow, cure the hiccups, disimpact your bowels and get your rocks off all with one deft flick of the wrist. Who da thunk?

Our next poll, which is the most effective with the hiccups: stabbing mostion with index finger or circular motion with thumb?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

There's a nerve that comes out of your spinal cord, down your face, and ennervates organs. It's called the vagus nerve, and it ennervates both the diaphragm (hiccups are the result of the diaphragm going into spasm) and the digestive track, which is why the rectal massage works. The guy who wrote the case study thinks orgasm will also help break the diaphram spasm.

IN THE OFFICE REMEDY: If possible, lay down, or lean back as much as possible. Exhale slowly (don't take a deep breath first) for as long as you can, and then press gently on your diphragm right under your sternum while not breathing for a minute or so. You might feel the diaphragm "buck" under your fingers as you do this; if you do, keep holding on until that stops (of course, resume normal breathing if at any time you feel light-headed or dizzy.) This is based on the basic treatment principle of any spastic muscle (compress and stretch.)