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Taking the piss out of the tourists in Venice

Posted 03.20.2009 by Thunderbox
Venice has always been susceptible to varying degrees of general stinkiness as it`s built on a series of canals that are regularly flooded by the Mediterranean. In summer it can be particularly bad due to the heat and an influx of more than twenty million tourists.

Starting this year, pay virtually and pee virtuously is the method that the authorities are hoping will prevent millions of visitors from using the streets as urinals. This happens as many restaurants and bars won`t allow casual use of their facilities.

Visitors can now go online and buy a “toilet card”. These are either cards for ten visits over five days or two visits in one day. High season costs are $0.90 per piss, low season $0.65. The trouble is that these have to be purchased fifteen days in advance!

How do you work out how many slashes and dumps you need in a day? A day spent walking around exploring the city, maybe taking in a gallery or two, might just warrant the two visits. But going out on the beer in a pub crawl could entail a dozen pees and a couple of sloppy beer shits between bars.

To cap it all, if you forget to buy on-line, a regular toilet card bought at the bathroom costs $1.20 a go in high season and $0.90 a leak in low season, while locals only pay $0.33 to urinate all year round! Have foreigners got bigger bladders and bowels than Venetians? Or is this just yet another way of ripping tourists off?

I can see rebellious and drunken foreigners still using Venice`s streets as urinals for a long time to come.

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
LeandraCullen (913) -- 03.20.2009

This toilet card seems detrimental to keeping people from pissing in the street...why not make the bathrooms free?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King (458) -- 03.20.2009

It's a way for them to tax the foreigners I would guess. Kinda like a stamp tax or weed tax, it's a piss tax. Sounds like a load of bullshit to me.

LeandraCullen (913) -- 03.20.2009

The way i'm reading it, it just looks like it's encouraging tourists to piss in the streets? Am I not getting something here?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

daphne (4406) -- 03.20.2009

I think what they're saying is that the casual use of the toilets will be allowed because now there will be a card to do so.

When I was in Germany, everyone usually tipped the portapotty gramma at the volksfests. If there was a "toilet use" tip jar by the bar for casual users, I bet people would tip, or at decent percentage of them would. At least enough of them would tip so that the owner of the business could buy more toilet paper and pay some of the water bill.

Then, there's the "You Must Buy One Drink To Use the Facilities" idea. Heck, I'd buy a drink to use the toilet. Anything but toilet cards!


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Leaky Bowel King (458) -- 03.20.2009

I feel bad going in to gas stations and shitting without buying something. And that's what they're made for. I always buy a candy bar or something. And I never go in a restaurant without buying something.

El Scumbag (598) -- 03.21.2009

Anyone feel bad about going for a McShit then?
I certainly don't.

C Everett Poop (793) -- 03.21.2009

My solution is to skip Venice.

LeandraCullen (913) -- 03.21.2009

Which one is the place in Italy that sinking or something? I know it begins with a V...is it this one?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

ChiefThunderbutt (2794) -- 03.21.2009

I seem to recall having seen a TV special about Venice that pointed out most of the houseboats that frequent the canals flush directly into the water. If I were to visit Venice I would not be doing any swimming.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Deja Poo (999) -- 03.21.2009

If that's the case, CRB, then the canals of Venice should be well stocked with brown trout. So, do you prefer fly or float fishing?
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My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Russell (335) -- 03.22.2009

Why would someone have to pay to take a whiz or a shit? And that is ripping tourists off.

Poopsy McGee (234) -- 03.22.2009

McShit never arouses any guilt in me. I actually have never taken a McShit, but as a shameless pisser, have frequently taken a McPiss.

I would be doomed in Venice. All my travelers checks would be used up in toilet cards. Then I'd have no money to float about in the sewage on the outrageously tourist-y gondolas.

Did anyone see the Daniel Craig James Bond movie in which he dives from a sinking house into the canals if Venice to save "Vespah"? Those waters seemed awfully clear. All I could think was in real life he come to the surface with a log of shit in his mouth.

j. frank parnell (1) -- 03.23.2009


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I feel shitty, Oh So Shitty....

Thunderbox (1379) -- 03.23.2009

I`ve been to Venice twice and have to raise my hand and admit that both times I`ve taken a slash in a doorway in a back street.

Rambalo Pasqalino (not verified) -- 03.23.2009

We no want your pezzo di merda here. Cazzo vai via stronzo, Americano! Vaffanculo!!

Bilgepump (2776) -- 03.23.2009

Rambalo, I need to inform you that Thunderbox is a Scot...he's one of those dress wearing ppikers taking a dump in your backstreet doorways...Americans aren't that sneaky, we shit right in the middle of the street, or canal..whathaveyou.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Thunderbox (1379) -- 03.23.2009

That was extremely rude, Rambalo, you inbred cowardly Italian dog you. Anyway I just took a piss, not a shit. Next time I`ll make sure it`s a sloppy dump!

IBS NO MORE (325) -- 03.23.2009

As many times as Mickey D's has given me the shits, I would feel no compunction whatsoever dropping a McDeuce every day for the rest of my life without ever eating the food again. That being said, I've only had the pleasure a few times so far ;) and I have to add that, in my experience, fast-food joint restrooms are far superior in supply stock and general cleanliness than the ones at gas stations.

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Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

Great comment! +2 points
Blind Mullet (578) -- 03.24.2009

I don't mind the McShit.
I should probably point out that the act of going to McRubbish's, with the sole intention of using their facilities, and when the staff give you 'the look', you tell them that you intend to buy a burger when you come out, well, thats known as a McShit with Lies.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

ChiefThunderbutt (2794) -- 03.24.2009

Thanks for the laugh BM, best comment in this thread!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Poopsy McGee (234) -- 03.25.2009

Blind Mullet, you made my day. Hahahahahaa! HA! I love Poop Report!

Levi OConnell (85) -- 03.25.2009

Hmm, so all the stories I've heard about the waters in Venice being absolutely disgusting and unsanitary are true.

Pay toilets is one of the few things about a lot of places in Europe that really, really pisses me off.

One summer I was in Paris with my girlfriend, and one day while we were doing some sightseeing we wanted to take a bathroom break. The washrooms we just so happened to stop by were some of those high-tech ones with a grated floor, and every time someone used the toilet, cleaning fluid would spray down from the ceiling and douse the entire stall.

We couldn't be assed to pay, so as soon as an old lady walked out of one of the stalls, I dashed in before the door could close & lock, but unfortunately those things have timers on them and I got *soaked* by a waterfall of cleaning stuff.

I assume the ultimate purpose of pay toilets is to keep rapists, hobos, murderers and drug freaks out, but I think it creates more annoyances and problems than it solves.

I'm so glad we don't have to pay to poop in Canada!

teentooper (4) -- 03.31.2009


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Your bowels are like your stomach's sinuses, and when they are stuffed, you better believe they'll blow.

Wait a minute, in Venice you have to pay to do your buisness?
Now I have heard everything.

LeandraCullen (913) -- 03.31.2009

How much of a teen are you, teentooper?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

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