A time for your toilet to shine

A time for your toilet to shine

Posted 09.18.2006 by Bilgepump

Well, kiddies, as September winds down, our thought move on to the national event coming in October. I'm sure most of you are leaping ignominiously to the conclusion that ol' Bilgy is gonna write about Halloween. Not so fast! Before that auspicious evening of sugar and chocolate debauchery happens, you parents may want to be aware of the fact that October is National Toilet Repair Month.

Though they mention it nowhere on their site, Fluidmaster, the "leading manufacturer of toilet repair products", has offered up the magnificent month of October to encourage folks take better care of their loos. And in the one article I could find about this occasion, plumbing experts offer a few tips for treating your toilet with the dignity it deserves.

One plumber, for instance, recommends avoiding too many over-the-counter drain de-clogging products. "Most of the time - like 99 percent of the time - that stuff just doesn't work," said Charlie Hart, owner of Chugach Sewer and Drain. "It actually makes the problem worse and folks end up calling us anyway."

Hart also suggests you avoid those drop-in-the-bowl cleaning tablets. "They plug up the jets and are harmful to the fill valves. People often find that in a short amount of time after using them, they will be having problems with their toilets."

Another plumber reports that with toilets, like with anything, you get what you pay for. "If you want a toilet that will cause the least amount of trouble, you might as well start out with one that costs $250," he said. "Our typical visit (to repair malfunctions) is $100. And with a $150 toilet, you are probably going to end up having us come over more than just once in the life of that toilet."

So before you launch you Oktoberfest offensive of beer and brats, and before your ankle-biters -- er, children -- load the bowl with half-digested tootsie rolls and way too much toilet paper, do what the press releases tell you and show your throne some respect. You'll find all sorts of tips and tricks on keeping your toilet in tip-top shape at toiletology.com.

email this page | printer friendly version

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.

Bilgepump (1731) -- 09.18.2006

WOW!!! I had no idea I wrote so much!!!

Just kidding, I need to thank Dave for doing the editor thing on this piece, I'm really only responsible for finding it, the first couple of sentences, and most of the closing paragraph, the rest was all Dave-o. Thanks Dave!!!

Dave (11657) -- 09.18.2006

Dude, all I did was put in those quotes and write the transitions.

Double Flush (604) -- 09.18.2006

Interesting how Toilet Repair Month is October, and yet World Toilet Day is November 19. Maybe instead of just repair, there could be an all-out toilet month.

I try to keep my old toilet fairly clean, and I don't use drain cleaners or toilet tablets--just some toilet cleaning gel and a stiff brush. With the bathroom floor recently replaced, the toilet has been reinstalled and stuff with new seals, pipes, and bolts, yet it still doesn't work all that well. October might just be the right time to get a new elongated toilet with a power-assisted flush, and maybe even a bidet attachment. Or maybe I'll just take care of the one I've got until I can actually afford the new toilet. Sigh.

Good work Bilgepump and Dave!

_______
Damnit, someone stole my signature!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 09.19.2006

Here I go again...

Treat your terlet with dignity,
View it not with malignity.
Scrub the porcelain til its white,
Reflecting back a clear pure light.
Scrub the turd from off the sides,
Them that drops and them that slides.
Wash it hard beneath the rim
In case your willy touches him.
Clean where tank and bowl do meet,
Until its nice and clean and neat.
When you're done, admire with pride,
Drop your drawers and shit inside!

daphne (3667) -- 09.19.2006

I have bookmarked this website and need to read about it more. Having three toilets triples the possibility of our family needing help in years to come.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com