I am working on an in-depth exploration on the way the media treats poop for my book (coming out early 2007!). Against my better judgment, I'm pasting in a key paragraph of a theory not yet fully formed:

"But while the media will report poop in the news wider than it may objectively warrant, they don’t want their readers associating them with the subject. So they make sure to distance a poop story from their other stories -- linguistically, by writing in a tone that communicates their feelings about the subject; contextually, by putting the stories in the "wacky news" section so readers know the paper sees it differently; and professionally, by not giving the critical analysis to the facts that they would for other (non-poop) stories. The media want it to be clear that this story is different from all other stories, lest you think that this media outlet gives equal amounts of credibility to poop as it does to sports, politics, and business news. Their fear isn’t that such equal footing would elevate poop -- their fear is that it would contaminate all their other work."

So that's my overarching theory. As for this particular instance: I think Mr. Farhi has a good idea in speculating that toilet paper is some measure of civilization. At least, one measure available at the Piggly-Wiggly, anyway. Scotch and steak aren't universal human needs; toilet paper is. Logjam's theory that these reports really just reflect what the reporters would want from their mental checklist is also quite sound. And then, to apply my theory, the symbolic entry of poop into the story thus frees them from the constraints of proper journalism -- as evidenced by the fact that no one has bothered to question their claims until Mr. Fahri showed up.

Do they do the same in articles about the sex trade?

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

I don't think so. Sex is much less taboo than poop. The media takes very seriously stories about the sex trade. World Toilet Day, by contrast, which was dedicated toward the hygiene and health of every human being, including the many billions without proper toilet facilities, was routinely given the pun treatment by otherwise-respectable news agencies. ("World Toilet Summit lifts lid on public hygiene," proclaimed Reuters about the 2005 convention; "Summit flushes out smelly toilets," declared CNN.com of the 2004 gathering.) Neither media outlet would dare strike the same tone in an article about prostitution or the sex trade.

"the symbolic entry of poop into the story thus frees them from the constraints of proper journalism"

So your theory, Dave, is that they throw toilet paper into the story knowingly to cover their journalistic asses? The problem with this argument is that if they didn't mention the toilet paper in the first place, then they won't need to mention it in the second place to "free them from the contraints," since it's the only apparent inaccurate claim in the story.

This is just another case of the media hyping up a natural disaster to make it more dramatic. Don't get me started on how they handled Hurricane Katrina, a summertime phenomenon. It is another shitty (ha ha) example of how you can't trust everything the media reports. Yes, toilet paper inconsistencies are a small symptom, but they are a symptom of the media sickness as a whole.

On to our issue about buying toilet paper in preparation for a storm...

I don't think toilet paper would be as big a storm-prep item as, say, batteries or food, simply because no one ever died of having shit on their hole. People starve to death all the time. And when the real snow flies (i.e. you run out of toilet paper) there is always something else to wipe with. If everything is out in a storm you can't flush the toilet paper anyway.

True, TSV, everything the press says is crap (har har). But 1 more minute on the subject of sex and the press. (Sorry, but I know you all wanna hear it) In my area of Washington DC, USA, the paper the Washington Post manages to squeeze in all the sex stories it can. In fact just recently, they ran a multiple page, 3-day article on how a county adjacent to mine has kids getting it on in the theatre, stairwells, and bathrooms, and they got kids intreviewed saying how they did it. (Not that my county doesn't have the same issue -- see Guy/girl conspiracy KeepOnCrappin's post at bottom