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In the Antarctic, following the trail of smears

Posted 06.09.2009 by IBS NO MORE
Scientists who have been trying to find a good way to track Emperor penguin colonies at the South Pole have finally stumbled upon -- or stepped in -- the most awesome method: follow the poop.

Funny thing about penguin poop: it can be seen from space! When the penguins stay on the ice to breed, they remain in the colonies for around eight months, which means massive amounts of penguin guano. The reddish-brown poop is concentrated in areas near the colony and stains the ice, and the stains are large and dark enough to be seen on satellite images.

"Using satellite data," MSNBC reports, "the scientists found 10 new colonies of penguins, six colonies that had moved from previously mapped positions to new spots and another six that seemed to have disappeared."

"The research is 'incredibly useful,' because the only time to see emperors are during breeding in winter when weather makes it nearly impossible to get to the colonies, said longtime penguin researcher William Fraser, who wasn't involved in the study. Fraser noted that salty penguin guano 'over time will corrode your boots,' adding that he has lost nearly a dozen pairs to poop in 35 years of penguin research."

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Thunderbox (1357) -- 06.09.2009

Yes, the orbiting dookie detector.

It won`t be long until the resolution on these is high enough to spot dogs on streets dropping a load and identifying owners who don`t pick up the turd. Be warned!

Jack Schitt (96) -- 06.09.2009

Good thing I don't have any dogs.

Thunderbox (1357) -- 06.09.2009

By the way, it should be the Antarctic, not the Arctic - no penguins live in the Arctic!

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.09.2009

So just following your nose ia obsolete.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.09.2009

T-box is correct, the Chili Willi comic books that showed penguins and polar bears living in the same neighborhood had animals from opposite poles coexisting.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.09.2009

I can usually find the bars in the Arctic by following the vomit trails.

Thunderbox (1357) -- 06.09.2009

Pd, I don`t know what Alaska`s like now, but I did a road trip with a couple of friends for a few weeks back in 1992 and was surprised to find that quite a few towns were dry. Luckily we always kept an emergency stash of 3 or 4 cases of beer in the car.

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.09.2009

We have several dry counties in Tennessee that are kept that way by bootleggers campaigning against legal liquor so they can continue making a living by supplying it themselves. The local church members unwittingly help keep things going to the bootleggers advantage.


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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Dave (11977) -- 06.09.2009

Made the polar change. Thanks!

IBS NO MORE (291) -- 06.09.2009

Thanks for beefing up my story too Dave! except for that whole pole reversal part, of course... ;)

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.09.2009

I heard we may get a magnetic pole reversal in the future. I wonder if there is going to be a mass migration of Polar Bears going south and penguins headed north. I just hope they don't pass through Jersey. It could get ugly.

Tbox, most native villages are dry, but there is always one in the area that has booze. These are like magnets, and often wind up with people becoming homeless there due to drinking their return plane ticket money.

Thunderbox (1357) -- 06.09.2009

You don`t need to worry about the pole reversal, pd. It`ll be so quick and violent that all the polar bears and penguins will be fired off into space.

Deja Poo (966) -- 06.09.2009

With this new technology, we should be able to settle this question about whether the wild Pope, like the proverbial Catholic bear, also shits in the woods.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

MSG (1142) -- 06.09.2009

What a hoot! So the only animal-produced "artifact" visible from space is penguin poop! Their pooping grounds must cover acres. It's amazing to me that they take the time and energy to go to that particular spot to poop; so many birds do it wherever they are, especially on my car.

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.09.2009

MSG........I have read that the great barrier reef of Australia is also visible from space.
It's mind boggling that such small creatures as coral polyps can build something so large.


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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 06.10.2009

MSG,have you ever thought that, instead of pooping wherever they are that birds may actually migrate to the vicinity of your car to poop? Perhaps some particular birds migrate dozens or hundreds of miles just to find it.

PD, would polar bear vs penguin in New Jersey really be any different that the status quo there?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

MSG (1142) -- 06.10.2009

NIL, I haven't thought that (though it is mildly persuasive), but my wife has. At her school, her parking place is under some pine trees, and last fall I had to clean it off with hose, soapy water, sponges, you name it. What a mess! Took a while, too.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1012) -- 06.10.2009

Actually if there is a pole reversal and the animals migrate the path will be directly through Tenn. That way Chief will take care of most of the fuzzy aminals by eating them. The real cause of polar bear decline isn't global warming...it's Chief.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.10.2009

Actually MMC, those polar bears you see floating away on small patches of ice are the stupid ones. They didn't know enough not to let the crack get between them and the shore. It's a cleaning of the gene pool going on.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1012) -- 06.10.2009

it's all that god damn coka cola they drink all the damn time making them all so stupid.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.10.2009

It looks like the opposite of Hell. In hell form satellite the white glacier is hot brownblack poo with a pinhead dot of HOT Ice.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.10.2009

It's just my imagination. Ha ha ha.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.10.2009

The only fuzzy animals I am helping drive into extinction are; groundhogs, possums, coons, squirrels, rabbits, muskrats, deer, elk and black bears. These along with a few tasty birds and assorted reptiles. Next my farts will get the blame for global warming.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Bran Lover (655) -- 06.11.2009

Uhh. Chief? I saw the secret report days ago. He who dealt it is always the last to know. The F.ederal A.ssociation of R.ural T.undra will be questioning you. Expect FART-MIB at your front door soon.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

ChiliKahKah (954) -- 06.11.2009

Al Gore is writing a new book...An Inconvenient Poop.

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.11.2009

Hmm. Uhm uh Chief? You know Daphne Boone is going to read your animal extincting plans. There will be more than the F.A.R.T. Squad at your door. Run for the mountains, chief. Save yourself!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.11.2009

There is a bat cave near my home I can hide in, wonder what they taste like?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Great comment! +1 point
prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.11.2009

Holy Shish kabob Batman. Did you just fart? The whole damn cave stinks.

Robin

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.12.2009

Lol. Nobody tell Daphne Boone that Chief is hiding from her in a bat cave and roasting bat for his meals.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 06.13.2009

Mmm, I bet bat tastes like chicken.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.13.2009

They make the best Buffalo hot wings too.

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.13.2009

I had hot wings in a Chinese restaurant a few days ago and found a paw on one of them.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

sittingpretty (2317) -- 06.13.2009

Thunderbox, I'm a descendant of the thought to be annilated Clan of Davidson. 3 2 1 Penguins!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Jack Schitt (96) -- 06.17.2009

There was a radio talk show here in So-Cal that recently got cancelled when the station changed it's format. Anyway they podcast now, and talked about this peguin shit story on their most recent podcast. For anyone in So-Cal that may know them, it was Frosty, Heidi, and Frank.

Bat Removal (not verified) -- 06.29.2009

I never new you could see poop from an arial photo. That is nasty. You have some interesting photos thank for the post.

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.29.2009

Bat Removal, our own Chief Thunderbutt once left a grogan outside that was seen from space. Are you too young to remember the most famous words "One small step for man, one giant le.....holy fuck, look at the size of that thing down there".

ChiefThunderbutt (2709) -- 06.29.2009

PD....What was even more amazing was that the stench overpowered 240,000 miles of vacuum.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (3864) -- 06.29.2009

And according to my calculations that stench should be reaching Neptune in a few years.

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