The urinals women love to hate (even though they'll never use them)

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Architects and contractors these days are realizing the importance of solving issues such as gender inequality in public bathrooms. Because anatomical differences mean it takes women longer to go, it has rightly been decided that more facilities should be provided for them in sports arenas, concert halls, and office. That's a good thing, and only a misogynist could disagree with such directives.

On the other hand, there's an element of modern radical feminism that goes overboard now and again in trying to dictate what bathroom facilities for men should look like, even though the women themselves will not be using them, and should not even be aware of what's going on inside them. I offer the following story from Austria as an example of such zealotry, coupled with a large dose of sociological foolishness: an Austrian businessman has bowed to political pressure by announcing the imminent removal of urinals shaped like a woman's mouth. The urinals had been publicly denounced by numerous politicians, including Monika Vana, the Austrian Green Party's spokeswoman for women's affairs, who described them as "sexist and inappropriate."

As a man who regularly uses urinals (and who even has one in his house), I'd like to seriously pose a couple of questions to all the females who frequent this site. Vana's words cause me to wonder: why should any woman care about a facility that they do not use and are not even supposed to see? These urinals are not located in the ladies' room. It would seem to me that the only way a woman could even know about these facilities would be to be told about them by a man who used them, or a janitor, or to sneak into that bathroom to get a peak. Who's out of control here? Is the implication on the part of Ms. Vana that a man using such a facility would as a result degrade women in his daily life? I find this a bit of a stretch -- although an element of the modern feminist movement seems to think that this sort of thing is proof positive that men are misogynistic bastards. I'm not buying it.

I personally think Ms. Vana needs to lighten up. But those who belong to the Green Party anywhere take just about everything quite seriously, often to the point of paranoia, and seem to lack even a spark of humor. I welcome the comments and opinions of my friends on PoopReport who are women.

29 Comments on "The urinals women love to hate (even though they'll never use them)"

GottaGoGirl's picture
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There's a reason my Uncle Bill had the pin-up calendar over his workbench in the garage. Aunt Jean wouldn't let him put it in the house, of course, but was perfectly fine with it out there where she didn't have to see it.

As far as that urinal goes, who's to say definitively that it's a woman's mouth? It's PROBABLY a woman's mouth, but not necessarily.

If my husband wanted to put THAT particular urinal in our home, I'd probably have to say no. But it's in a BAR for Pete's sake! It's not in the Capital building. It's not in my dentist's office (although that WOULD be funny: "Rinse. Spit!")

It's in a BAR.

For equality's sake, I think the women's room should have pedestal sinks that are shaped like large pepi's.

Dave's picture
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What if it were urinals shaped like Christian crosses inside a mosque? By your logic, no Christians will ever see them, so why would Christians be offended?

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Good point. And if there were Koran-shaped urinals in Christian churches, would Muslims care?

If there were cross urinals in mosques, or even if they had Jesus'-mouth-shaped urinals in there, I'll never know. My very existence is anathema to a radical, so their peeing onto a religious symbol that contrasts their own is of little consequence.

The Big Wiper's picture
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I'm very interested in seeing what the women of this site have to say about this. I hope for a thoughtful dialogue.

Meanwhile, I'd like to add this to the equation. Some years back, Hugh Hefner decided to shut down his Playboy Clubs. There certainly may have been some economic aspect to his decision, but he was also feeling the pressure of the modern feminist movement which felt that the idea of his clubs was degrading to women.

That's an aspect of the PC Movement that troubles me. I understand treating people with respect. I've had my share of disrespect and harrassment come my way as a same-sex oriented man.

But what troubles me about this urinal situation and the shutting down of the Playboy Clubs is the idea that they should not exist at all because someone objects to them. No one was ever forced to patronize a Playboy Club, even though they were of no interest to me for what should be obvious reasons. They were designed for a certain type of man, and if you want to make a case for a less than sensitive man (or immature man) so be it.

The idea that a urinal design must be removed from a mens' room that a woman cannot even use strikes me as its own form of political censorship. It's like saying to someone: "I don't approve of this or that, and I'm going to see that you can't have access to it or experience it because of my disapproval."

We're not talking criminal acts here, folks. We're talking Playboy Club/silly urinal designs. I still maintain that the female politicians who objected to this were overreaching.

GGG's comment points out the likelihood that this design was intended to be humorous. I just can't get with reading all sorts of misogynistic intent into this. I think it is also significant that no men objected to the removal of the urinals. That tells me that they had no vested interest in any 'degradation' concept or 'vile motives'. They probably just thought they were funny and let it go at that.

The world can certainly live without Playboy Clubs and outrageous urinal designs. But to insist that they are some sort of conspiracy and have no right to exist still strikes me as its own form of fascism.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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I would like a toilet in the shape of

  • a Dell computer
  • a KFC bucket
  • a particular coworker's face
  • Rachael Ray Cookware
  • ...

    Hey. I might have just thought up a business venture!

Bilgepump's picture
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I like the urinal, but, and I'm just speaking from my own experience....its damn hard (no pun intended, but damn I'm good) to pee with a woman's mouth that close...

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Toots N. McCrack's picture
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This pic reminds me of those carnival games of a clown head that you shoot water in the mouth.

Bilgepump, your comment cracked me up. While this urinal design seems to conjure mental images a little too water-sportsy for my taste, it's really up to the users of it, and I don't get hung up about things like this if no one's getting hurt. Don't like it, don't use it.

I don't think this is making men say, "Hey, you know what? I think I'll do this in real life now." Most guys I know would think it's just funny for it's novelty. If anything, it should only be removed if enough GUYS complained that it gave them "stage-fright"!

Women would not have to see or use this device, so why should it matter? This would be like a male advocacy group getting all up in arms about the fact that a certain brand of tampon has a pink applicator and claiming women are saying it's OK to sully a symbol of their phallic glory. Men don't see or use this device, so why should it matter?

And it wouldn't. Guys don't seem to be as uptight about things like this. Lighten up overly "PC" ladies, please spend your time and energy on "equal pay for equal work"! Now THAT cause is just!

Afterthought: Did anyone get upset when that TP with Bin Laden's face on each square came out after 9-11?


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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Queen of Sharts's picture
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Freakin' hippies get offended by everything. Obviously, it's the Rolling Stones' symbol- the bar must just dislike Mick Jagger.
Personally, I'd like a toilet shaped like Ralph Fiennes- I'd never get to sit in his lap otherwise. Though- it might be awkward to poop while sitting in his lap... ugh now I'm all confuzzled.


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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Well, see, it's different for men. . I would think men (Hetero men, anyway, deferring to TBW) hetero men maybe LIKE the idea of a woman's mouth... um... absorbing... whatever... *ahem*... comes out of his... um... yeah. (*blushing fiercely*)

And while I can't speak for ALL women, I'm pretty sure MOST of us DON'T dig the thought of crapping into a man's mouth.

There's a gender differential there. I don't care if men pee into a labia statue, but I don't want to hear about it.

Thunderbox's picture
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Death to PC.

You`ve given me a good idea Wiper - I`m going to start a novelty urinal company "Piss-u-Off Urinals".

The voice of sanity

The Shit Volcano's picture
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I thought this was a urinal modeled after the mouth in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Shows how fucked up I am!

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I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

shitwit's picture
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TSV- I was thinking the same thing!!!! That and the Rolling Stones.

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Bunga Din's picture
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Excellent argument Wiper, but I think you underestimate the economic aspects to the closing of the Playboy clubs, they were huge money losers when the decision was made to end that venture. It was Hefner's daughter Christie who tried to revive the branded nightclubs and soon saw that it was not going to work. They have since opened a new club in Vegas.

As far as the urinal goes I'm a little uncomfortable with it as well, but it really boils down to what sort of establishment it's in. If this is a high end designer style bar it has a completely different feel than if it's in a strip joint. All about context.

It would be like having the painting The Rape of The Sabines in the entrance way to a rape crisis center versus in a museum setting.

The Big Wiper's picture
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Bunga, times certainly did change for the Playboy Club concept. I remember their heyday in the Sixties and early Seventies. Most of the guys in my college dorm read Playboy and said they aspired to have 'keys' to the clubs.

For obvious reasons, I was totally uninterested in seeing women parade around like that or being posed in the magazine the way they were, and I don't think the passing of these clubs is any great loss to society in general.

Uninterested as I am, however, I think men should have the right to buy and read Playboy and patronize such clubs (read strip clubs, gentlemen's clubs) if they want to. The idea that a womens' group would insist that such clubs be closed down and not exist at all because that group was offended, offends me. No one requires women to go into such clubs and see what goes in on there.

This also reminds me a bit of certain feminists' recent attempts to *insist* that women be allowed memberships at the Masters in Augusta. It's a private club. If they chose to admit women down the road, fine. But it should not be due to pressure from politicos who seem determined to prove that anything exclusively male is evil and must be busted up.

I detect some of this mentality in the female Austrian policians who wanted to redesign the mens' room.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Deja Poo's picture
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I tell you what, GGG, you can crap in the cookware all you want as long as I can have Rachel Ray. I wonder whether I could do her for $40 a day?


_______
Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

The Big Wiper's picture
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I've noticed that many of the women out there don't like Rachel Ray, while many of the men think she's hot. I can see where my straight brothers would go for her perkiness. But she seems to rub some women the wrong way.

As for me--I've gotten some great cooking tips from her!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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As long as you keep her busy, Deja! I don't know how you'll stand the giggling, but that's your burden.

I bet I could fit a flange to a stockpot!

ThePoopMime's picture
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I laughed when I first saw it. I think it would kind of confuse the really drunk guys in the bar not expecting to see that.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

daphne's picture
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I think it's funny, and I wonder if there are any guys who couldn't pee in it because the idea of the woman's mouth gave them performance anxiety.

Some people need to get a hobby. Maybe something like, oh, I don't know, dedicating themselves to a real charity that would befit women's rights. Genital mutilation in Africa, Mom's Night Out programs in inner cities, battered women's shelter hotline volunteering.

But, yeah, being mad about the shape of the thing that you put your pee-pee in is good, too.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Brown Bomber's picture
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I wonder if they clean it with a giant toothbrush.

Toots N. McCrack's picture
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Daphne, you said what I thought earlier, except better....

And, BB, the giant toothbrush? Hilarious!


_______
'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I would not really want to piss in that urninal. It would mess with my head a little bit next time I got head.

healthy 1's picture
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BB, along with that toothbrush, they must use AIM toothpaste to brush the teeth.
_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Actually, I think those urinals are mounted on the FRONT OF THE BAR! So you don't even need to step away from your drink to drain the lizard...

It's hard to tell from that picture, but another article showed them to be mounted on the bar, out in public.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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You know, you're right! I didn't consider that, before.

No matter what the shape, I would think anyone would object to urinals being IN use AT the bar. There's obviously some sort of violation of code, there.

But if the fantastical urinals are on the front of the bar as DECORATION, then it's only a matter of personal taste.

If men aren't ACTUALLY peeing into it, on what grounds could a woman object to it's being there?

The Big Wiper's picture
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If Anonymous Coward's comment about the 'lips' being mounted in the bar are correct, we are in the realm of art, not facilities. If those aren't functioning urinals, then they are a humorous artistic statement.

I stand behind my evaluation more than ever that some of the female politicos overreacted to this in the extreme.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Toots N. McCrack's picture
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I noticed that too on my first glance, that there appeared to be a row of bottles behind it and wondered if it was a picture on the bathroom wall or, what? I think I focused on the censorship issue more than if it was a working, usable facility. Like TBW says, this would make the situation even more of an overly extreme PC reaction.

_______
'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

GottaGoGirl's picture
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If I wandered into that bar, I'd make my husband take a picture of me next to that urinal.

If he came out of the bathroom and TOLD me there was something like that in THERE, I'd beg him to go back in and take a picture of it for me.

I've been thinking about what Dave said at the top. Here's another metaphor: If UCLA dorms had toilets that looked like USC's Trojan helmet, would USC have the right to complain about that? (Or, substitute Michigan students pooping into Buckeye helmets, if you prefer).

The opposing school's students wouldn't be USING them, or even SEEING them. So how could they demand they be removed?

Anonymous's picture
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Practice, practice, practice... Or just pretend it's Oprah.