This is the funniest damn non-poop report I've read. Excellent reporting, Samdamnit.

Terry's mother apparently didn't know that pee is sterile, at least it is when it leaves your body and before the bacteria of the outside world begin chowing down on it.

Who knows, pee might even be an anti-wrinkle miracle panacea, but Terry's ma will never know because she's too paranoid about "pee vapor" to even consider that.

Great urinal photos, btw. The last one is creepy, however.

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

What photojournalism. I very much enjoyed your report, #1. Informative, funny and well written. I like the hand-painted "fly" target the best.

As for the last urinal pic? One word: Queef.

Bung, did you mean to say queer?

Yes this is good PJ, but what about our sewage plant tour?

I think the urinal game is the most disturbing. CAn you imageing 80 guys in a ballpark all going "Tee Hee Hee" as they have fun pissing?

The last one looks like a vagina to me.

No, Dumpster, that's an Easter lily! Heh.

TBW, as Pliny the Elder said, "Ne supra crepidam judicaret." In the vernacular, "Shoemaker, stick to your last."

KOC, I meant to say "Queef". Look it up on line.

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"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

As usual, great report Sam!! I could see the game urinal at my house, the neighbor boys would be lined up around the block drinking gallons of water so they could piss in my bathroom.

The last urinal did look like a very large elephant labia. I do not think I would enjoy pissing into a sexual organ looking apperature. Just takes the fun out of it.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

A white elephant labia, PS.

I certainly had fun researching this story. I kept finding new pictures, as I piddled along. Terry's mom was a woman that had a pyramid built over her head board, to channel positive energy. She also had the first air ionizer that I had ever seen. I wonder what she is up to now. Who knows? She may be one of the investors in the back splash proof urinal.

Dumpster, it does look like a vagina. Read my last comment in the story.

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Sir SamDamnit!
and the Knights of Poopsalot
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

excellent reporting!

now, if only someone could figure out a way to keep those damn hoverers (ladies who refuse to sit down on a public toilet) from getting piss all over the seats. if there's one thing i can't fuckin' stand, it's sitting in someone else's pee.

a queef is a vaginal fart.

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i love poop.

HEY SAM!! Where the hell have you been? I guess researching this wonderful story, as well as, uh Terry's mom? You write: "Dumpster, it does look like a vagina. Read my last comment in the story."

"So here's to you, Mrs. Robinson..."?

Dumpster, I have missed you too. My schedule has changed drastically. I do not have the online time that I used to, and I have some other online activities that take precedent. This story struck home enough that I felt I should take it on. I also have two other poop stories that I am supposed to be working on. They are a bit more involved and require more research and outreach. They are coming along slowly, I am sorry to say, but I intend to finish them and to make them worthy of The Poop Report.

Yes, Terry's mom was a P.I.L.F.. Don't tell Terry that I said that.

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Sir SamDamnit!
and the Knights of Poopsalot
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Sam, don't you mean a MILF?

And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING online takes "precedence" over PR. Can I get an "amen" to that?

P.I.L.F.
Pooper That I would Like to Fuck

You are right about The Poop Report taking precedent. I will never stop writing for it, or checking in. However, my work in disrupting the recruitment efforts of neonazis and reporting little future Timothy McVeighs to the authorities, can be very time consuming.
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Sir SamDamnit!
and the Knights of Poopsalot
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

As always SamDamnit steps up to the urinal and delivers a solid stream of conciousness us mere mortals can only dream of. Good report. My favorite urinal was in a bar I frequented in Hamilton Ontario, it had an exceptionally deep well area and inside they had different coloured ping pong balls for you to aim at and try and move about. It proved very good at encouraging aim and keeping the splashes to a minimum.

BUNGA!! First Sam comes back, and now you! Holy Crap, do I feel better, especially since TSV has split for who-knows-how-long.

However, even in your absence, your presence has overshadowed me with the ladies. Read the posts for the last few days. Your ears should be burning (along with your ass, if I can ever get hold of it to whup it!).

AMEN AMEN AMEN dumpster.

Ok bunghole, just checking.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Does it really matter that men have such spiffy thigh tech game oilets in which to aim their pee to "hit the sweet spot"? They don't and won't hit it anyway so what is the point?

Yes I did call KOC "The Cool Crapper" because I happen to think he's cool. I think this because upon furthur investigation of the enigma that is KOC, it has been determined he has the capabilities of commanding a vast legion of turd terrorists, the likes of which have never been seen before. "The Cool Crapper" is his code name. I will not reveal mine yet. Just know that all will be revealed when our Turd Terrorism joint venture report is published. I would say don't hold your breath, but you probably should in this case.
br>_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Bunghole, being that you aren't in possession of that marvelous organ known as the weenis you can't possibly fathom the joy and delight we do find in using it for more than just intimate moments.

The problem with some men is they over/under estimate their control prowess of the evacuation. Any seasoned vet such as myself knows that the first little bit of urination and the last little tinkle and shake need to be planned so as not to cause a mess. It's the middle part of the evacuation that provides the least amount of trouble if you understand the dynamics of fluid pressure (most men don't but fortunately my father provided me with Navier-Stokes equations describing the motion of a Newtonian fluid with inertia).

Being the seasoned vet that I am I don't need targets and such to keep the toilet free of pee splashes nor myself free from urinal splashback, but I do enjoy having a target. I find it much like life itself, what is the point if there are no goals?

i just remembered that i had a dream about the fly sticker thingy last night. weird.
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i love poop.

Double posted deleted to save space.

Golly, Bunga:

Why doncha just rub my nose in the fact not that "you're not in possession of that marvelous organ...." TWICE posted. One would think you subscribed to Freud's theory of penis envy already. The only penis envy I experience is when I'm not getting any.

And about the target analogy to a goal? Yes it's good to have. Better yet? No "visible target" so one has to use their imagination and visionary skills.

Well Bunga this either means that you are a natural teacher, one capable of holding a seminar to teach other men how to fiddle the proper tune with their bow while they piss. Or this means that you are a confirmed bachelor that finally got tired of cleaning his own piss off of everywhere in the bathroom. Either/or I don't have the least envy for your weenis. However I covet your dildo collection.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Bunghole: "thigh tech game oilets?"

I think everyone is jealous of Bunga's dildo collection.

Yeah, you've heard of those thigh tech game oilets. They're a little like the Thighmaster 2000, but they never need oiling.

I always sit down to piss when i'm around the house wearing shorts or sweats. It saves a lot of cleaning. Bad aim in the morning is a thing of the past for me.

EFRO; a kindred spirit. I have also found that "the shake" spatter is contained when dangling one's twig and berries just inside the bowl.
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Sir SamDamnit!
and the Knights of Poopsalot
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

I've never seen such a group of admitted spatter pissers. I guess my daddy taught me right from the get go.

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

I have a board just above my toilet that says "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be sweet and wipe the seat" It's corny, but gets the message thru..
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Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.

I have to sit to pee as well. If I satnd, the bathroom looks like a tropical storm blew in .

Why do some men piss with the toilet saeat down, nothing bugs me more than sitting on a pissy seat, grrrrr.

Great post SD.
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We aim to please, you aim too please.

Now we can all be just like JFK and Amsterdam airports
http://www.urinalfly.com