How do you know if you're within five-hundred feet of poop? Easy. Order the Poop-O-Meter (pronounced Poop-ohm-iter) from Ronco, or is it Popeil?

It slices, dices, shreds, juliennes...oh, wait, that's another gadget, isn't it?

Visa and Master Card accepted.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Good thing I wasn't in Las Vegas that time I accidently slept on my baby's poopy diaper. At least that morning my breath wasn't the worst smelling thing in bed.

That's fucked up. But mos def, how would you know if you were near poop or not? Does it count for dog poop too, or only human poops? How fresh does the poop have to be? What if you laid down in an alley that had like, years old rock-poop (y'know it gets hard like a rock after a while) there. Would that be wrong? Does it only apply if the poop is still wet? How can they tell the difference between yellow gatoraide and pee? What if you go to sleep and then someone comes and poops next to you after you've laid down? Who gets arrested, the pooper or the sleeper? What if your clothes are soiled in poop or pee? Does it count then? What if your house is only 500 feet? Would you be arrested for pooping in your bathroom, if you went and fell asleep in your living room? Do you think cops are gonna go around with bags of shit and plant them near folks just to make an arrest, like they do with drugs? What if there isn't one signle area of the city that doesn't have poop? How could they even know? Do they have a poop detector? Does poop attached to a person count? What if a baby is on a park bench with his mama and a stinky diaper, and a homeless on the next one over, asleep? Where DO homeless people poop, and what do they wipe with? So many questions...
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Strippers Poop Too!

I came home from work one evening, and hugged my wife. She stays at home with our two children. I noticed a wet brown smear on her shirt about 4 inches long and 3 inches wide. Joking, I said who pooped on your shirt? No one she answered. I went to sniff it and decided not to, I figured it would be a joke that I would not get laughter out of. So I went on my way. Ten minutes later I hear my wife bust out laughing. I asked what so funny? She answered, IT'S POOP!

So, if this law was passed in sin city. My wife wearing the poopie shirt> I triped her and she fell down then I could get a police report, take it to the magistrate court and get a warrant for her arrest. Then the next time She has a headache before we go to bed, I am sure to get my way.

Great tool.

Dude, she'd probably turn herself in.

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Hey! Don't touch my wenis!

Stripper Poop, to answer one of your queries, homeless people take advantage of that "sweet, sweet, opportunity" and wipe with squirrels, gophers, bunnies, and the occasional cactus wren.

LOL! That's where all those skunks with no stripes come from, huh?
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Strippers Poop Too!