There is so much good stuff here. I don't know who to vote for. It'll be funny if the pariah (you know who) wins, but he won't -- at least two of them are far better.

Man, where did Poonurse go? She was the best.

My personal favorite\funniest of 04, courtesy of Artful Dodger: http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/
viewtopic.php?t=2061

I'm still very partial to Nigel's, 'The Lav Of My Life.' This report is unique and touching among all reports I have ever read or written on and for the site. Thanks for recognizing this man's contribution, Dave-O.

Where have you gone Poonur - se - Oh,
PRers turn their lonely eyes to you,
woo, woo, woo.

Sitting Wiper -- I need to get ahold of Nigel to let him know, but his email address doesn't work. Can you email me a current address? Thanks!

yeah...where did poonurse go? haven't seen her around in a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time

Maybe we could spring for some trophies and call the awards "The Cornies" or "The Runnies"? Poo-litzer Prize is an obvious, but a more casual nickname would be cool as well.

"Dipshit" still remains my favorite, as it had such things as
"Mass murder in a peppermint pattie factory" and 2 or 3 other unique expressions.

what about swamp thing? that has to get some sort of mention? no? http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/swamp.html

the only funny shit stories are when people crap all over floors and sinks. its funny watching janitors clean feces up.

as of 8:25pm EST Sunday, 1-2-05 I want to thank the 24 people that voted for me.

I will not win PR story of the year...so I will now concede.

PoopReport is and will always be the best thing that ever hit the Internet....too bad I am too fucking spastic to participate.

Thank you, it's an honour just to be nominated. By the way, I quite liked "Prodigious Son." It really does deserve more votes than that.

The high level of journalistic reporting makes it difficult to single out any one story. I mean, really, WHICH friend dropped off at the pool do you like best?

Yes, I'm new. But you've been virtually absent out here for the last few months.

"Logjam (anonymous coward) -- 1.3.2005
Hey, doniker. You waiting for someone to get down on knees and beg? Fuck that. Just get your spastic presence back on PR (pretty please)."

Gladly, but I've been banned from the forums.

So? Speak your mind out here with us common folk.

"So? Speak your mind out here with us common folk."

Been there...been doing that for almost 4 years....you must be new.

Hey Doniker, 17th time's a charm.

Hey, doniker. You waiting for someone to get down on knees and beg? Fuck that. Just get your spastic presence back on PR (pretty please).

Congratulations, CD. I voted for The Dropped Call but your's came in a clear second. The peppermint factory murder reference was hilarious!

Wow...I'm humbled...seriously.

I haven't participated on PoopReport in forever, but I never forgot about this place. As I mentioned in an email to Dave, I haven't had access to a computer regularly in forever, but thats all going to be changing this month. Anyway, I want to say thank you to everyone who voted for "Dipshit", it means an enormous amount to me.

I just wanted to make a few comments about "Dipshit", in light of its recent "Major Award" (as the father in A Christmas Story might call this).

First of all, I kid you not, this story is entirely true...exaggerated and embellished for comedic value in places, but I assure you, the events of that story did in fact take place.

The original working title for this story was "Shitting Skoal". I loved that title because I thought it was so raw and painful sounding...which quite frankly is what I remember best about this whole incident.

What I really loved about "Dipshit" after I wrote it was that its really not just a story about painful gas and excretion. Its a story about the stupidity of youth...and in a way, the wonderfulness of a time in your life when the worst thing that can happen to you in a day is explosive diarrhea. Its about a more innocent time in my life.

In many ways, this story could have only occured at that particular time in life: too young to have some intelligence about using tobacco products, still impressionable and succombing to peer pressure, but at the same time, old enough to begin experimenting with things like tobacco..and the thrill of that.

Tobacco kills, we all know that...but I bet most of us still remember that first cigarette and that sleazy rush you got from it, and in its own unique way, thats just a wonderful experience.

But likewise, "Dipshit" is about consequences. In the story, the worst that happened to me was indegestion havoc. Worse things could have happened to me, been caught by parents, the bus driver..etc, but in the spirit of innocent youth mischief, I learned my lesson on my own without extended consequences. The smell of smokeless tobacco still makes me wanna hurl, the lesson has stuck with me.

Anyway, I just wanted to add a few thoughts from my perspective about "Dipshit". Again, the story was nothing without everyone who enjoyed it...and really, thats what I was hoping to do with "Dipshit", make people laugh. I am greatly humbled, honored and excited about this, and I thank all of you. I plan to begin participating fully again with Poop Report shortly, I am very eager to do so, and eager to write some more Poop Reports.

Again, thank you from the bottom of my fart. Commode-O Dragon

I just wanted to add, "Labor and Delivery" by Poonurse and the other finalist stories are outstanding. Like I said, I'm humbled because the competition here is top notch. My salute goes out to these and all the other great Poop Report stories this year.

You guys are truly full of shit, and I mean that in the most complimentary and sincere way possible. Best wishes and wiping for 2005!

Commode-O, the best news here is that you intend to return to PoopReport. I've been wondering what happened to you all this time and couldn't understand why you would leave us, since you contributed in outstanding fashion on the Forums as well. Thanks for the explanation.

Anyhoo, welcome back, and congratulations on your win! Be talkin' to ya!

Here's the brilliant, just amazing thing about "Dipshit": Nearly everyone who has the grave misfortune to swallow dip or chaw or snuff or whatever pukes it right back out instantly. (Clearly a sign that this stuff is way bad for you.) I recall reading a story (or stories) about baseball players who, upon sliding into second, accidentally swallow their chaw and upchuck on themselves a moment later.

"Dipshit" would not have been possible were it not for the Herculean - no, I daresay, ULTRA HUMAN - efforts by Commode-O not to puke. I think it's quite possible that no human still living has ever shitted out dip because it's never stayed down that long. Except, of course, for our great hero, Commode-O.

Now, here's what I want to know: How would you alter some of the key details ("mass murder in a peppermint patty factory", etc.) if you had choked down some cherry Skoal instead of mint?

when poop comes out the anus why does it have funny colors on it like dark brown mixed with light brown on a surtain side