From humble roots, beans and other fibrous legumes, a star was born: PoopReport.com. What began merely
as shared scatological stories between Dave, PoopReport's president, and skeptical soundingboard
Gabriel St. John soon grew into a lavatorial landmark of the Internet space.
PoopReport splattered onto the scene in early 2000, at first offering no other content than a purloined picture of
a defecating polar bear. 
But as the world would soon find out, PoopReport had more to offer humanity than just JPEGs of
untrained ursines relieving themselves of metabolized seal blubber.
The site quickly grew from a small, rarely-visited online depository of potty humor to one of the biggest
and most popular online depositories of potty humor in existence.
"When Dave first mentioned that he wanted to start a website for people to meet and talk
about their bowel movements, I thought he was crazy," remarked St. John. "What kind of deranged people would waste
their valuable time telling complete strangers about what they do in the privacy of their own bathroom?
"Of course, this was before George W. Bush became president. After the election, I realized
that PoopReport would indeed have an audience -- at least 51% of the voting-age population. Was it H.L. Mencken or
Ray Kroc who said, 'No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public'? Anyway, I can't remember exactly, but I think Dave
and his so-called PoopReport exemplify the quintessence of this quote. Yeah. The quintessence."
Dave has a slightly different take on his bowels-born brain child.
"PoopReport represents nothing more than a great idea whose time had finally come. George Orwell
predicted a lot of changes to arrive by 1984 -- all about the loss of privacy, the danger of good
government gone bad, and the consequences of lost individuality. But as clairvoyant and accurate as
Orwell was, he didn't foresee how fed up people could get with living in a society where personal
expression over one's everyday biological functions would remain completely stifled. If he had,
PoopReport would have become reality long ago. Fortunately, I thought of it first.
"I devised the plan to
create an environment in which the global village could come together to discuss their post-digestive
happenings. True, it all started when Gabe [St. John] decribed to me a poop he had just taken... but I
always knew that the site could be much more. And now it is.
"The evolution of PoopReport was what you might call an 'organic experience.' And just like eating organic fruits and vegetables, it didn't take
a long time to see results on the other end. Now, site visits are piling up like rabbit turds. We're
literally getting thousands upon thousands, right on top of each other."
Indeed, what Dave says is true. And as more people consume the site's content, PoopReport appears to
be getting bigger and bigger.
But the question remains: in the days of the dotcom deathrattle, just how long will PoopReport remain solid? Can the site undergo a Napster-esque adaptation to the stresses
of a changing marketplace? Or will it go the way of thedodobird.com? Only time -- and the attention span of Dave's
feces-fascinated friends, fans and family -- will tell.
-- Gabe
