Your dog is cute. I'll bet it's a sweetie.

This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. What if you're one of those people who likes to poop with your legs apart? That thing probably gets caught on underwear, pants, whatever, and man, is this dumb. Did I say that?
Chip, good job in the name of science. Someone had to take this one for the team.
You shouldn't call your wife fatass.

If it weren't for the protruding adam's apple on Timm Martin's neck, I would've swore he was a woman in that pic. My initial thoughts were the same as Daphne's. I like a little distance between my knees while I'm shitting. Otherwise I feel like I'm mashing my nads. That thing would just get in the way.

Just think of that poor kid who had to show his face on the Daisy Lift commercial. Not only did he film it, but he gave it a thumbs up. I got picked on in grade school just because I played Nintendo. That poor kid is probably looking at daily beatings on the playground. I think the expression on your dog's face says it all.

Maybe sweet doggie is upset because his collar gets caught on the knob when he tries to drink from the bowl.

There it is! Chip's blue commode. Hey, what's that black ring-shaped thing in the corner behind the pot? Or is that just a loop of a black rubber enima bag hose. Chip, your bathroom pictures always display such facinating tidbits.

Peace in the Poophouse. TH.

Seems like a dumb product. If there's pee and germs and whatnot on the seat, there's just as likely going to be stuff on the handle. That whole germ-resistant thing just doesn't seem likely. And if true, wouldn't it be better just to make the whole seat out of germ resistant material.

Often when I venture to the men's room in a public establishment...mall, restaruant, bar, golf course club house etc, and I have to poop, my main health fear is the dried and semi-dried sticky piss that is left upon the toilet seats by shamefull urinators who are too embarrassed to go at the urinal, so they go into a stall and then do not even lift up the seat. I don't belive this knob would do any good because these jackasses would probably piss on the handle in the process of pissing on the seat. And what if someone was having a bad time of it in the bathroon and somehow during a wipe got poop on thier finger...as often happens when the toilet paper is not up to Cottonelle double ripple standards, and then they someone make contact with the knob? What we need to have our personal lifters that have a handle or knob, then some sort of wire contraption hooked to the knob that can slide under a seat and propell it open, and that can be santized after use. Personal knobs would decrease the chances of urine or poo or snot or puke getting on the permananetly hooked knob.

I realized I have a lot of spelling errors in the above...I seriously have had diarreah for the past two days after a binge which involved 3 Domino pizzas bought under a 3 for 1 medium pizza deal....too much cheese, but my stomach hurts and I am in a great deal of pain right now.

I think that knob is a great thing. It gives me a handy place to scratch my dingleberry-infested ass crack. Oh I bet that would feel really good too. Does it come with like a French tickler attachment?

I agree with Skid Marky Mark, if bacteria can get on the seat they can just as well get on the handle. Anyways, can't they jump six feet? If your that worried, use your shoe. And do people really pay $1000 for a bog seat? Some sort of cludge one-upmaship? "I'm not crapping in their toilet, the seat only cost $250"

Well, i think the idea behind this thing is that it's porcelain, which germs have a harder time breeding on as compared to plastic, because it's non porous.

Still... if you're that worried, use toilet paper to lift up the seat, just like at the beginning of the movie on their site.

Hey Uncle Chunk...they just opened a new "Pizza Pan" pizza shop in my neighborhood and they have the 3 pizzas for the price of 1 deal....for that price it's got to be real nasty...can't wait, I will be farting and shitting alot real soon!!!

This is ridiculas. I mean, yes there are some precautions that one can take to make a bathroom visit more sanitary, but let's face it, if you are gonna engage in the act of depositing body waste either at home or in a public fascility, there will ALWAYS be some sort of germ, bacteria exsposure.

We could always don a full latex body suit with a small ass opening to take a dump and then carefully remove from the inside out as much as possible. It's not any dumber that this idea.

I'm with Chip. Generations before me have somehow managed to survive, I'm assuming I will also.

This "novelty" is as about a good idea as George Carlin's idea for printing bullseyes on Kleenex... although...I laughed at George's idea because he intended for it. Did the other guys?

By the way, I want my 12 minutes I wasted waiting for the "Daisylift" movie to download and play back!

That kid with the "thumbs-up" will probably end up on heroin and in therapy for years from the embarrassment of this atrocity.

Daphne - My dog, Lil' Poopin' Genius II, is a female. We normally keep the toilet lid down to keep the animals out of my crap. My wife is proud of her ass. She's spanking it right now in my right ear!!!! I'll be spanking it later.

TH - Sorry, but the black ring behind the toilet is nothing more than the intake water hose. I wish it was something more exotic, but I'm just a working class hero.

Nice report Chip--- but this is got to be one of the dumbest things i've ever seen... that and the collapsable ladder. I mean, it would make some kind of dumb sense in a public bathroom, but who keeps their PERSONAL toilet so dirty that they have to use an external "clean" handle. Your ass isn't affected by teh so called "dangerous germs" Its a waist of money and if you're paranoid about germs than you should use a piece of toilet paper to lift the seat.

Hell, in a public shitter, I operate all the controls, including the door latch, with my feet. I don't need any knobs, especially in my home shitter as all the germs would be mine to start with.

Somehow I could see these guys marketing this 50 cent gadget to government agencies for beaucoup bucks though. It isn't any stranger than some other crap I seen them buy for their shitters.

I'm with ontheshitter on this one - who the fuck needs this in your own home? My wife always wants the seat down and when I piss and dribble on the seat I'm not too much of a friggin' lazy ass to take some paper, wipe my penile area, and then wipe the seat. The only time I lift it up is if I'm going to clean out the shitter.

By the way - everyone should always wash his/her hands after leaving a public shitter or after getting home - I once got a scabies-type disease on the insides of my fucking legs from something I picked up in the subway in Europe. I must have come home with some Nazi microbes on my hands, not washed my hands, stripped down to my shorts, and just rubbed my legs and BOOM! soon the tender insides of my legs felt as if they had been grilled at a luau.......it hurt to walk.........

Skid Marky,

I've actually seen those, toilets and stuff made out germ-resistant bacteria. You're on the right thinking track.

terrible product. they should make a foot pedal thing that they have in garbage cans. It is like having a second doorknob so you don't have to touch the doorknob. That kid is in line for a hot lunch.

Well, I like it. So what you don't have germs of the notorious ilk on your seat. It's the peace of mind, man! Besides that, those of us with little kids hate using our hands, since the kids seem to be great at pissing right under the lid. OK, the pee is sterile, but I don't want to touch it!

Croc, that idea about the foot pedal thing is great! 0-50 in 7 seconds... I just want to know how much that Rube Goldberg will cost, and how I will be able to tell that my toilet actually is still a toilet. Still, my dollar is somewhat interested...

As a third party independent evaluator, I can attest to the fact that the Daisylift makes it much easier to whap the seat down onto the bowl.
Very satisfying....

I don't think it's all that bad of an idea. I'd rather lift with that than grabbing the toilet seat, which often has splatters of vomit and shit and cities of mold waiting to surprise you. The toilets I'm used to, anyways.

Although, I'd only pay $5 CDN for it.

Nice can Chip, I like the blue tioliet it makes me feel serene just looking at it. This product is not for me for one I don't believe the damn thing would stay on the seat too long, anything to make a buck and that's o.k. I dig the tioliet trivia I found after clicking on the future fonzy wannabe doing the thumbs up. Fact # 16, did you know in 12 hours one germ can multiply fast enough to become 64 million germs? Fact # 39 the sound princess is a Japanese device that simulates the sound of a tioliet flushing in order to hide embarassing bathroom noises? That kid is going to be drinking alot of tioliet water in the next few years.

How about washing your hands?

Nothing like doing your doody under sanitary conditions!

Nothing like doing a doodie under sanitary conditions!

Dear Dave,

I found your site looking for bathroom humor on google. I have created a site selling clay characters that pee on command. I was wondering if you would mind reviewing my product or website for the poopreport. You can visit us at www.pottyheadz.com for more information. Thanks for your consideration.

that was my idea #$%& !

re seat knob:

Not useful to me.

Since I'm going to wash my hands after I use the facilities I'm not worried about bacteria etc....... so I just lift the seat the normal way.

I also wipe the rim and lower the seat & lid.

Lowering the lid levels the playing field for both men & women as well as making the john presentable to all.

I say "Lower all that have hinges
and avoid giving twinges"

I've made a few little cards to go on top of the toilet tank that request lid lowering and will be glad to send free samples to all that request them.

If you want to see them, I've put a few up on my site.

GoTo:

http://www.sonic.net/~ronnie/lids.html

Jim

What I don't understand is, why can't people just lift the seat using toilet paper? Only 1 poster mentioned it.

Also, I would never sit bare-assed on a public toilet. It's always double lined (sometimes tripled) with thick wads of toilet paper.

We already waste so much toilet paper lining the seat if it's a public restroom and wiping (some people even put a couple of layers IN the toilet to prevent splash back), It would clog the toilet to use another wad of TP just to lift the lid.
I've never seen a toilet seat with a handle to raise it with. That's a great idea. You wouldn't even need to go buy a new seat, you could just buy a cupboard doorknob and attach it to the side of the seat.

Oh, I feel stupid, the daisy lift IS just a knob, not a new seat.

Well, a cupboard doorknob is still just 50 cents to a dollar and all your friends can see that you're at least trying to be somewhat hygenic, if they believe that having a handle on the toilet seat helps. LOL

I think the DaisyLift is an excellent idea! I remembered that years ago I'd seen or heard about a product used to lift the toilet seat and did a search via Google for "toilet seat lift handle" in hopes that I could find where I could purchase one. That's how I came across the "poopreport.com" website. Thanks for the report on the DaisyLift...it was extreamly helpful to me and if they are still on the market, I'm going to purchase 5 of them for home use. Will just need to determine the best placement on the toilet seat. You can say what you want to say and make all the jokes you want to about the product, but I'd rather use the DaisyLift over touching the toilet seat by hand or with a piece of toilet paper.

First, what a great report!

Second, there are so many things wrong with that product, I don't know where to begin. IF it's true that germs "fly" across the room every time you flush, they'd land on that little handle FIRST. And why would resin (seat) be any more germ-harboring than porcelain? It's not. The thing would keep getting in the way, and as soon as someone touched it with dirty hands, it's not clean, anymore.

What a stupid idea.

lets take away soap..!!!!! i have to poop now... so should i hover over the toilet. what happens when my butt touches the seat??

Are people really THAT afraid of poop?

Why not just clean the toilet seat?

TRhis is why people are getting sick more often, because they aren't exposed to germs, therefore their bodies don't recognize the germs.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

OK well both sides have good issues to debate...its just a matter of what you like or want...personally I never had anyone "let loose" any waste product outside the toilet seat opening...if you're that sloppy maybe you need to hang your ass over the tub instead..ladies just like to have a handle available..and some men seem to appreciate it too

I think I've changed my mind. It would be a cool conversation piece when you have company over.
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Pug-Fug. It happens.

Ok, there's some hilarious shit that one finds when searching the internet for their next big break. PoopReport is absolutely no exception. Quality journalism about a universal issue right here, and i am getting weird looks at work because i'm shitting myself laughing. No handle required here, just a nice fresh pair of undies. The guy with the foot lever idea knows whats what. I think the Japanese have something like that and it's at the front of the bowl so even if you're pissed as a fart on a saturday night in a bar, you're still gonna step on it for 'shits and giggles'...