Not too long ago, the landscape of the world began to change. The temperature started
rising, landfills started popping up around the globe, and a big hole appeared in the
ozone layer. By the time the 80's rolled around, it was obvious someone had to stand up
for Mother Earth -- even if it meant giving up some of our favorite comforts in the
process.
One such comfort was the paper towel. Considered to be unnecessary litter (why use
paper when electricity could do the job?), companies began marketing electronic hand
drying machines -- for lowered costs and less waste.
But, there was a problem with dryers. As Bill Gagnon of Excel Dryers points out,
"Everyone hates hand dryers because they take too long to dry your hands. You have to
stand there for almost a minute to get your hands really dry."
So this was the problem. On the one hand, paper towels are ruining the environment.
On the other, electronic blowers suck.
In steps Excel Dryer. One of their products, The Xlerator, revolutionizes hand dyers
by getting rid of the main reason people hate them: the Xlerator is fast.
"Denis Gagnon, Owner/President, saw that there was a lot of room for improvement in
hand dryers, and decided to help Excel Dryer Inc. to develop the science behind the
Xlerator," said Bill Gagnon in an interview. "We have two patents on the technology
that makes the Xlerator three times faster (10 to 15 seconds to completely dry your
hands) than other dryers and it uses 80% less energy than other dryers."
10-15 seconds. Comparing that with the 8 seconds their market research suggests
consumers spend reaching for and using a paper towel, and you've pretty much leveled
the field.
There are two types of people -- those who put themselves first, and those who look out
first for others. The Xlerator seems to satisfy both: it is as fast as a paper towel,
and as nice to the environment as Greenpeace could hope. Plus, it's good for the
bathroom's owner -- paper towels cost more than 50 times what an Xlerator costs to run.
Still, I maintained some healthy skepticism towards Excel's claims. So I decided to
learn the truth about the Xlerator.
I set out immediately on a PoopReport road trip. Well, a cousin's wedding, actually.
But I wasn't driving ten hours just to dance with a bunch of beautiful bridesmaids -- I
was going on business. (But the bridesmaids were beautiful... until the moment when half
the women in the room suddenly became relatives.)
I experimented with hand dryers from Miami to Charleston. I found that most bathrooms
had one of three hand-drying options: Kimberly Clark towels, World Dryers, and Excel
Dryers, paper towels being the most popular. But in every bathroom I found them, they
were piled up from floor to ceiling -- not to mention jammed dispensers, wet levers
(eww), and the fact that they were always running out of paper towels!
World Dryers were also a popular choice. These are the standard dryers in most parts
of the country -- McDonalds uses them, as do many gas stations and rest areas. World
Dryers are cold and unreliable. Not only did the automatic models rarely start, but
when they did, they took 60 seconds to dry my hands!
Finally, I spotted my goal: the Excel Hands On Standard model. I was disappointed I
couldn't find an Xlerator, but this would have to do.
The Excel was pretty small compared to the World Dryer, and pretty clean compared to
Kimberly Clark's mess. I pressed the square button, and my travel companions were
suddenly basking in the warm glow of the Excel Dryer. The drying took about 20-30
seconds (efficient, but eternity compared to the rapid promise of the Xlerator), although the
machine stayed on the whole time and I didn't have to press the button again.
My mission semi-fulfilled, I continued to the wedding. Still, I'll keep looking out
for the Xlerator, ever skeptical of their 10-second promise.
When the time came to cut a rug with the bridesmaids, my hands were dry and strong. I
did my best Pulp Fiction moves and got the whole room going. I suddenly remembered why
I like Genesis' "We Can't Dance" album so much -- 'cause I can't. My cousin got the
whole thing on tape, and threatens to use it as blackmail.
