Editor's note: Chris Rockwell is the star of The Daily Download, the world's greatest podcast about poop. In compiling this report, he tried out the product live on his show; I'll link to the relevant episodes so you can hear his impressions raw and unfiltered.
I enjoy my smells.
Yes, it might seem rather gross, but I find nothing more pleasurable then smelling my own stink in the bathroom. In my opinion, nothing rounds out a good throwdown on the toilet then the reward of the warm, milky air that I leave behind. I like to think of myself as some great beast marking his territory for the world to inhale.
So when Dave asked me to review two products designed to curb one's stink in the bathroom, it was hard for me to get very excited. That said, I had to do my duty as an objective PoopReporter, and give the products a fair and balanced examination.
The first product that I pulled from the package Dave sent me was Take a Whiff, a supplement that you take orally to remove the stink from where it starts:
in your bowels. I am nearing the end of my thirty-day trial period of this product; I'll post my review when it is completed. Today I'm here to tell you about the other product in the package:
Just a Drop.
Let's face it: if you are a Shameful Shitter, nothing is more embarrassing then walking out of a bathroom with the smell of dookie (or air freshener mixed with dookie) following behind you. This is where Just a Drop comes in. Just a Drop, according to the packaging, is a "magic odor neutralizer." By simply tapping one drop into your toilet bowl before you poop, it goes to work -- creating a layer on the water's surface that traps and neutralizes odors instantly. No poop smell, and no airborne air freshener.
When testing a new product on The Daily Download, I like to push them to the limits. So prior to using Just a Drop for the first time, I ate seven cloves of raw garlic -- something I nor my ulcer would suggest to anyone -- and waited for the results.
Two days later, when the garlic had finished its trip thought my food tubes and worked its way to the balloon knot, I prepared the toilet for my payload. I squeezed out one drip of Just a Drop into the bowl and watched as an oily skin covered the surface. Upon sitting down, I noticed the rather strong smell -- a mix of disinfectant and perfume. To most people this is probably a good, clean odor. But to someone with allergies like myself, it is an instant block of the respiratory system. So, inhaling through my mouth, I filled my lungs and gave a push. Out came a vile pile of garlic-smelling mush that stuck four inches out of the water.
Now, herein lies a problem with Just a Drop. If your load is not covered by water, the "deodorizing" layer will not work. Instead, the perfume will mix with the dookie smell and you will get the same effect as an aerosol spray: perfume-scented poop.
I am a fat man. I eat a lot of soy and I have very large poops. I tried Just a Drop a few times more with my normal diet; and while I did get better results, my poop always stuck out of the water, and I felt like Just a Drop never got to work it's magic. So I ended up taking the bottle of Just a Drop to my office for people to try out.
We are located in an old house that has very little ventilation in the bathroom -- a perfect testing laboratory. While nearly everyone in the office refused to use
the product and report back, one brave soul who is a very Shameless Shitter (and named Dave, coincidentally) let me record his findings. One day, after Dave pooped, he came and got me to check out his smell.
I was very surprised to find much less poop smell then I was achieving from the product. Other then the warm body odor of someone who had just finished a healthy poop, there was only a fresh medicine, perfumey smell in the bathroom. I asked Dave his impressions.
He said, "I think it covered up the shit smell pretty well. But who wants that? I like my stink." My thoughts exactly.
Just a Drop Cons:
Poop has to be covered by water for the full neutralizing effect
Strong perfume smell can cause hell with allergies
A lot of packaging for a small product
Covers up poop smell
Just a Drop Pros:
Free carrying case. Small size is easy for Shameful Shitters to conceal
Biodegradable
Works well if you have normal sized poops
Covers up poop smell
Four out of five flushes.
