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oxypowder

The Mod Commode: How To Shit In Style

Posted 04.25.2002 by Skiddy Poo (76)
My toilet seat is white and hard. It's old and shifts from side to side, even when I am firmly seated on it. It has stains on it that cannot be removed -- I've used bleach and gritty cleanser and yet they remain to remind me of the many other tenants that have sat where I now sit.

Just a few of the many...

What I am trying to get at is that my damn toilet seat is old and boring and gross. To make matters worse, I have tasteless shocking pink faux tile to accentuate the dullness of my toilet seat. I suspect that I am not the only person here at PoopReport with a boring seater.

So I got to thinking about the options I have. At the local level, I could either paint the damn thing (but I wouldn't dare do that because I don't have an artistic bone in my body) or I could visit the local home improvement stores (but the few available options appear as if Hollywood hookers inspired them). They have toilet seats that have shell shaped lids and lids with oceanic pictures on them. Why would I find that fun? They are tawdry like the pink tiles in my bathroom and I need more options than that.

So I entertained my global options and decided to surf the web. Much to my surprise and delight, there are many places on the internet that sell uniquely designed toilet seats. I included the URLs below for fellow Poop Reporters to browse.

I came across some toilet seats that were covered in ultra-feminine designs, with flowers and jellybeans. Some seats were more trendy with colorful patterns. Other seats were more thematically oriented with pictures of football, golf, and money. Yet others had a darker theme with barbed wires are razor blades. Still others were just plain ol' rustic and suited for a log cabin.

Many of the websites originate in the UK and this is not surprising, considering Europe is known for its artistry in things we use daily. There are many options from which you can select to transform your Old White Seater into something that uniquely reflects your lifestyle, personality, and artistic expression. I will be making my selection soon.

Designer Toilet Seats

  • CooLoo.com
  • BogSeats.co.uk
  • From Direct Plumbing And Heating Supplies
  • The Bathroom Accessory Shop
  • Mamo Collection Clear seats (aka acrylic or 3-D seats): Most are girly seashell themes
  • Seashell Toilet Seats
  • Loo With A View
  • Emporium UK.com A better selection of clear toilet seats: Check out the barbed wire one -- yeow!
  • The Menu.com
  • GroovyStyle
  • UK Shopping Emporium
  • Midton Acrylics Posh Designer Toilet Seats: French, Italian, and Deeeelux
  • UK Bathroom Express Guitar and Piano theme toilet lids
  • Jammin' Johns W I D E toilet seats for those of you with mud flaps for asses
  • SF Bay Area Sexy Designs
  • Sittin' Pretty Design Oh dear, "hand upholstered" toilet seats
  • WorldWide MFG Handpainted from the UK
  • Gold Crest They have spiky and glow in the dark seats here
  • Urbanjunkie This one is boring, but it glows in the dark!
  • Mon-Glow Inc Samples of "ranch-like" and rustic theme seats
  • WJD Ranch Carving Center
  • Elite Seats A collection of bidets, soft seats, and designer seats (limited collection)
  • Eldridge Textile
  • Sandman/Intimist
  • Magic John

    Also, check out this article on John A. Kostopoulus (age 77): King of Toilet Seat Arts

    -- Skiddy Poo



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    Dave (11538) -- 04.25.2002

    My bathroom is looking a tad boring lately... i may check some of these out. Hopefully some of them will want to offer this PoopReporter a free sample....

    Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 04.25.2002

    I have the guitar shaped seat. . .it was a gift. ....the most useful gift I have ever recieved

    Mya (not verified) -- 04.25.2002

    Cause I'm the singer in a band . . . .ya know . . .there's a theme. (still wondering if Tom will ever know of his glorious victory)

    Dakota (858) -- 04.25.2002

    Hey SP, what a well-written post! When I read it, I was trying to remember what my toilet seat at home looked like and I couldn't. My bathroom at home is in fucking poor condition, but what can a dude expect if he rents in the poor section of town? I sure ain't gonna spend one cent decorating a landlord's place! It's great that you'll get a better bathroom, but mine will have to stay the same. On the other hand, you mentioned a toilet seat with a flower pattern on it. Do you think that will be a good fit with my personality?

    Skiddy Poo (76) -- 04.25.2002

    I love the idea of you sitting on the toilet with flowers on it, Dakota. But frankly, you seem to be more of an "Italian designer" type. Hey Dave, what about hooking us up with some custom PR seats?

    Skiddy Poo (76) -- 04.26.2002

    Looks like the labels for the URLs are one line off.

    Steve (49) -- 08.09.2002

    Have you seen or know where I can buy an elongated celestrial or stars moon sun toilet seat.can't find many elongated designer seats. Enjoyed your site . Have an standard celestrail seat from wal-mart but can't find elongated

    Thanks Steve

    Dixieland Designs (not verified) -- 10.29.2002

    Enjoyed your page!...very funny crap!....If anyone should need a toilet seat with a handpainted rose design,( with any color roses), that's what I do!....order through email address....Thanks! Dixie

    John Locke (not verified) -- 04.07.2003

    Why have you put that our site is boring. We have probably the best range of toilet seats on the net. Not only that be we can have absolutely any toilet seat that you would like making specially for you. Who else can do that. Take back your comments and have another look. John Locke Director of Urbanjunkie.co.uk

    slim jim junkie (not verified) -- 06.09.2003

    my mom bought $300 one piece shitters to decorate the house

    MuchLuv (not verified) -- 07.12.2003

    I agree with Urbanjunkie guy, his site is cool. I don't think that it's boring. I think that the fact that it sells stuff from the UK and also ships elsewhere is cool. I have tried to order just a catalouge from other sites in the UK to the US, and they can't even do that. I also find that the money converter on urban junkie is very, very useful & that other sites might want to follow in his path. I love this site (poopreport.com) because I spent a whole weekend searching for designer / novelty toilet seats and this was the very first place that had exactly what I wanted and had links to other sites..

    Pilfo (not verified) -- 09.05.2003

    For a bit more excitement....take a look at http://www.bidet-loo.co.uk

    Kris (30) -- 09.06.2003

    i live in the n.y.c ..fancy toilet seats are hard to find here... mostly the girly stuff. can you tell me of dealers in the u.s.a. much love

    Marisa Skolnick (not verified) -- 11.24.2003

    Please help! The only way my boyfriend will agree to keep the seat down is if the toilet seat is New York Islanders or New York Jets. Do you know where I can find this?
    Thanks!!!!

    The Shit Volcano (3646) -- 03.02.2004

    Love the seashell seat! I'm looking for some really tacky things to put in my house and this article helped.

    sc (not verified) -- 08.28.2004

    check out kikis kisch toilet seat badasss

    Mark (65) -- 09.16.2004

    Does anybody know where I can find a Purdue University toilet seat.

    MJ (not verified) -- 09.28.2004

    Anyone know where I can find a casino/cards and dice motif toilet seat?

    erika (not verified) -- 12.09.2004

    My husband sell designer toilet seats check his site out www.tommyseats.com

    jay (not verified) -- 03.02.2005

    looking for happy face toilet seat and shower curtain. Anyone know where to find one? thanks

    Anne (not verified) -- 06.24.2005

    Can these seats from the UK be ordere4d. I tried for something else and they did not ship here. Are any nof them available here?

    Erika (not verified) -- 07.04.2005

    Anyone In the States looking for Designer Toilet Seats should check out www.Tommyseats.com We have lots of styles and our prices can not be beat anywhere on the web!

    Andy (not verified) -- 08.19.2005

    Hi
    I'm looking for a Sunflower design toilet seat in yellow, can anyone help and point me in the right direction ?
    Thanks,

    Andy

    Joanne Paradigm (not verified) -- 04.16.2006

    Hi all.. I am looking a clear toilet !! and having a hell of a time finding one.. It is for my whole house cam system.. I have a bathroom toilet cam now, and I want to add a new deminsion to it by adding a completely clear toilet with a cam coming up from the bottm !! along with the front view.. So if anybody out there knows where i can purchase one ! I would be grateful if you could write me and let me know.. My email is joanne@ebabz.com Thank you ,,
    Sweet hugs
    Jojo

    healthy 1 (1421) -- 10.05.2006

    I would love a toilet seat with the Poopreport logo on the lid. However, it has to be an elongated seat.
    _______
    Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

    Fabbe (not verified) -- 07.19.2007

    Do not order from urbanjunkie.co.uk. I did, and got two amaizing T-shirts. But one of them had an error, and I returned it. Since then, I have mailed them in two month, but not heard anything from them...

    RoboCrap13 (311) -- 08.28.2007

    My buddy has a glow-in-the-dark seat. He said it's great for midnight trips.

    Also, legend has it that President Ford had a Univershity of Michigan toilet seat just off the Oval Office in the White House.

    _______
    You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

    Please go away Mr. Hankey (not verified) -- 01.13.2008

    I have an ongoing problem here in my rented London flat. Our commode is apparently shaped wrong, so that after almost every poop, the biggest turd gets stuck and won't flush away.

    Repeated flushings usually don't help, and we're left to either have nasty stained water for the next few days until the poop gradually breaks up, or we have to *gasp* cut the damn turd up with a spatula I've had to buy for that purpose.

    My question is: Is this endemic to all UK commodes, or could I go to a bath store and buy a new commode? If so, would it be difficult/expensive to replace the old one?

    And most importantly, what should I look for in a replacement so this doesn't happen again?

    Maff (not verified) -- 04.25.2008

    Yeah urbanjunkie is rubbish, oh yeah they have great cr*per lids on their site but their customer service is dire. I ordered a nice toilet seat from them and when it arrived it had a dirty great big chip it. But do they answer my emails about replacing it? Do they hell!!!!!
    DO NOT USE URBANJUNKIE

    baron von crapalot (444) -- 04.25.2008


    Maff, gr8 post.

    _______
    Did you just fart?

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