I have felt the need for wet wipes in my life, but it's rather infrequent. Maybe once a month or so, or even more infrequently, I need to use a wet wipe to clean my mess up. The problem for me is that I buy a box of wet wipes and it has like, say, 20 or so in there, and I would use those over a period of 20 months. But they dry up long before then, even when the package is sealed. So I go to use my wet wipes again and they're dry. That's not effective. I just don't want to buy another pack and have them dry up on me again.

I use regular generic-brand baby ass-wipes ($1.80)to touch-up the ol' back door after every regular toilet-paper wiping. I've been using them for eons! Regular dry wipe....followed by the moist ass-wipe wipe= about as mountain stream fresh as your bunghole can get! Cheap and efficient.

Shoot....

$9 for some fancy-pants sissified asswipes....and using them instead of toilet paper???!!!! Who'd be able to afford to take a shit? I can't believe they actually marketed such a thhing! I'd never even heard of them before today. Shoot....might as well just start wiping your ass with dollar bills- it'd be cheaper!

The correct way to use these wet wipes is as follows. Use normal dry paper first, then use the wet wipe to freshen up and make yourself feel clean. Finaly pat you bum dry with normal toilet paper.

Also, Wendy's chili is the only thing that has ever made me clog the toilet.

My husband goes through a box of the Cottonelle wipes about every 2 weeks; and yet he still has skids on his shorts. I too only use for "sticky situations". But they do get the job done.

Marcos - you must have a very strong a-hole - White Castle after a night of drinking is brutal!

I love em. Most of the time I can get away with the dry stuff, but sometimes, when it's real messy and thick, I gotta pull em out. Just wipe with one, then finish it off with a dry wad.

As for the fast food thing: Whataburger messes my stomach up. No other burger joint does that to me. It gives me a sore stomach and the runs.

So.. when you wipe your ass w/ wet wipes, are you supposed to finish the job with dry paper?
I would get down with the wet if they had the dry dispenser right next to it. No one likes a sweat ass

/off topic
I can eat any fast food and as much as I want, as long as I have my Aciphex.

And im talking white castle after a night at the bar.

I give wet wipes 4 turds out of 5 on the poo scale. It's when I wish I had them that I don't. The dirt button is always cleaner after a wiping with a wet one.

merkin

honestly wet wipes are just too expensive and you have to get refills, you take Dry paper, wet it in a sink and get the same effect, no funny smells, and you don't have to worry if it will break down in the sewer, after all its just dry paper made wet, like when you throw it in the toilet anyway. In addition for the ones that don't like slick ass, you simple use another round of dry paper from the same roll.

I used to carry some water with me on the subway, and after work if i had to pinch off a loaf, i could wet the dry paper with my left over water from the bottle and have wet wipes without leaving my stall.

commerical wet paper is a waste of time.

I've got a tub of 'em sitting on my tank right now. I use them for "special" cleanup, if something unusually sticky comes out, or if my a-hole is tender. They do leave you with a wet slick, but I dab it dry wit reguar TP. A box lasts me and the wife a month and a half.

I was an advocate for wet wipe usage when my two kids were smaller and I still had wet wipes around. Even though I vowed I would never be without at least a travel pack of wet wipes, I haven't had them for about two years. I don't know where my NEED for these wipes disappeared to. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed wiping with those things. I remember telling everyone Pampers wipes were way softer than Huggies wipes. They were good for your ass, for stains on clothing, removing make-up, wiping sticky kid hands and oh, the list goes on.
Maybe it's the price? I can't justify buying them anymore, I guess. I avoid the diaper/wipe aisle altogether now. I know these Cottonelle wipes are by the toilet paper, but I'm too busy concentrating on which toilet paper is the softest for the lowest price! Plus, they're up higher and my eyes are scanning the prices down below on the bottom shelf. Once I get my TP, I'm off down the aisle to the soaps and stuff.
I just thought, maybe they should put the wipes with the hemmorhoid creams and Tucks wipes. I think people would notice them better there. Then, they are concentrating on their ass and not just scanning for the prices!

Ditto on the pack of towelettes going dry after too long. So, I've gone to the individually wrapped ones which I keep at work (who needs 'em at home??? Isn't that what wash cloths are for??). Technique-wise: dry TP for earth-moving and moist towelette for mopping up. Word.

I think people are embarrassed to have them in their bathroom because it's like advertising, "Look! We stink!"

I think that I'll always have them under my sink, though.

Wet's the way to go. I just spit on the dry paper if I need a special clean up or if I've had so many dry wipes that my ass is turning red. Spit-wipe... Spit-wipe. Just don't get the order mixed up!

daphne:
I think keeping one's wetwipes out suggests cleanliness, not stinkieness. It's the difference between having a broom in your kitchen, or a broom and a mop.

Who in their right minds would totally give up dry paper for wet wipes?? What were these companies thinging? I'll bet they've never even tried to clean an ass with just wet wipes. (Incindentally, neither have I, but I imagine it just makes a mess). The initial wipe must consist of something that has the absorbance and friction necessary to grab hold of any crap clining to the ass without turning it into a mudslide. The wetwipes come in, if at all, AFTER the majority of the poo is gone, but there remains that stubborn little bit waaay up in your ass crack -- you know, when no matter how deep or hard you chafe your asscrack with dry paper, you still get skid marks -- THAT'S when wet wipes come in. The stubborn skid mark is also compounded by eating greasy food, so wetwipes may come in handy on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon for that hang-over induced liqui-shit.

I hate wet wipes. All they ever did to my ass was smear the shit all over the place. Give me a good dry swipe any day.

SUPER SIZE ME..........FAAAAAAST

I don't know about anyone else, but I stay the hell away from McDonald's. In fact, I haven't eaten at Mc Donald's in almost 10yrs. In all seriousness, I would eat that shit and within 10 minutes I would be ready to shit myself. I don't know what's in it, but it messes me up something fierce. No other fast food chain does that to me. So.. you might be on to something with your idea....

Thought so... when I was a youth I eat mcdonalds frequently for a month cause I worked alot and party too much it gave me appedicitus (don't no how to spell it) it very bad for you I'd have to say. Maybe it would become bad publicity for the T.P company.

sorry for my poor spelling there I was distracted.

Here's the problem with wet wipes: A friend of mine once got totally drunk and after taking a dump he accidentally wiped with one of those Scrubbing Bubbles flushable wipes that you use to clean the tub and sink. He said that the next morning he woke up with a burning asshole and couldn't figure out what happened until he saw the package laying on the floor. Be careful what you find under the sink.

I wouldn't want to walk around smelling like a poo grape it'd be a dead give away that you'd just pumped a loaf.
Plus if the paper is dry you'd get more value for money cause it's soak more shit up.
Here's a tip when dumping open your legs.

I think maybe they should go into partnership with McDonalds. I'd get the kids hooked on wiping their arses in the restaurant toilet. They're already hooked on the food, it's a logical progression for them to be hooked on the shit tickets in the McDunny. Whaddaya reckon?

To be honest I'd really appreciate the feed back on the proposal I just wrote. I seriously believe that there would be potential for both corporations to gain grater control on our digestive tracts. They may need extra stong wipes with some surfactant on the wipe to cut through the heavy duty grease found only in brown McNugget's.

I think someone is feeding me peanuts while I sleep. For real! I don't remember eating them!

The people who say the damned things dry up too fast are right. I loved the wet asswipes and was going to install their holders in my bathrooms, but in a dry climate they dried up WAY too fast.
Major disappointment. A technology whose time has not yet come.

Addendum: when they dried out they were weird little felt-like things that seemed to contain a built-in poop repellant.

You gotta do what you gotta do to get your bung-hole as clean as you want it to be. Minty fresh, rancid, sand-blasted, fingernail-etched. Just doo it.

I just dont like a wet ass

This is exactly what you get when you hire a bunch of freshly minted marketing majors to come up with a product. Research results can be misleading, especially if no one has the good sense to put the idea to a practical test. In this case, I think they failed to ask themselves, "Would I really buy this?"

When dry TP has been doing it well for over a century at a much lower price, why bring something like this on the market? I don't know about the other guys here, but I would be pretty humiliated to be seen browsing the aisle where such products are sold, and/or paying for them at the register. That might just be me though. I still make my girlfriend buy the condoms.

shitass, you could be right. To me, though, it would say that this person really has a reason to clean up!

Wet wipes suck ass. Every time I use one it makes my asscrack feel like its full of liquid shit. I agree with Slim Jim in that it makes me feel like I didn't wipe.

downunder, no one gives a shit.

i've never tried the wet wipes, but i've been wanting to. i didn't even know that there were wet wipes for adults until i started reading about them on this site. i don't remember seeing any commercials for them or anything. maybe that's one of the reasons they didn't take off. obviously, people aren't gonna buy something they've never heard of. the problem here may be as simple as poor marketing.

Hey downunder,
i don't have the authority to speak for everyone else, but i suspect that you're coming on a little strong. If you don't get the response you're looking for, perhaps people aren't interested in your angle, and you should consider waiting patiently until you're inspired again. It might work out better than blanket critcism for not meeting your expectations.

Even if I had the wet wipes next to me, 90% of the time I wouldn't want to use them. That is because when I use a wet wipe, the wetness in it makes me feel like I missed when I wiped my ass. That, ands they feel cold.

I use a wet clump of TP (Made wet in the sink) if my ass is in pain from shitting liquified fire. Otherwise, I use conventioal wipes, because a wet wipe makes me feel like I haven't disposed of all the crap.

I suppose I could supplement wetwipes with dry wipes, but I just don't feel the need.

Did anyone bother to read what I wrote propperly??? I didn't ask what fast food gave you the worst shits, thats another topic altogether. i thought this site was devoted to the intellectual pursuit of poo.?!

commercials for wet wipes for adults... now that could be some funny shit!
i have some but i actually thought they were supposed to be just for keeping the whole area "down there" more fresh. Not just for wiping after pooping. Like if you're in for a romantic evening and there was no time for cleaning up... i dunno.

Shitzophrenic:
I had been using wetwipes for a while, to do a "final run through" after tough paperwork when I started having intimate relations with a particular girl. I always showered before seeing her, and i think she did the same, but one time i was visitng her southern hemisphere, and i caught the distinct odor of cottonelle wetwipes. I immidiatly assumed that right under that smell was her feces. I gagged, made up an excuse and went home. Yuck. Don't use the wipes for that or you'll give yourself away to someone who knows the smell.

Honestly, if you got shit on your hands, would you be satisfied if you only wiped them with a dry paper towel? We in the US have the lousy hygiene habits with our bottoms. Europeans, though they may have BO, keep their crotches clean via bidettes. I use charmin or cottonelle wet wipes followed by a last TP wipe. Such a product was long overdue.

Wet Wipes are for girly flatlanders. A real man wipes his ass with during the summer with a handfull of wet sand standing in a mountain stream. In the winter, that would be way too frigid, so a real man then wipes with a handful of last season's brambles and briars. You fuckin' sissified town dwellers make me puke!

shitass: i find that really interesting. why do you suppose it is that smelling the wetwipes, then making the connection to what it must've been used for grossed you out, even though i assume the wetwipe smell is pleasant, and you didn't even actually smell poop? and the assumption that the girl poops should always be there, even if it's in the back of your mind.

I too have a tub on the tank. I got the idea from one of these poop stories........I think. The tub was on sale at the local HEB and I thought " what the hell". I don't use them every time, because I forget about them being there. When I do (doo), they work great. I can wipe with the whole towelette and then fold it over for another go. The second wipe is usually clean as a whistle. I don't mind the damp. It goes away in seconds. I guess my body (booty) heat takes care of that. The baby powder smell is a little disconcerting because it reminds me of diapers. I probably have some sublimated potty training trauma to deal with. The grape flavor sounds kind of cool. Thanks for the story. I found it to be very interesting.

I would just like to say that, being in the military, I think these wet wipe shit tickets are great, because when I am in the field, I dont get to shower often and sometimes tend to get red ass. They are also good for cleaning your whole body if you cant shower. But the price of the roll wet wipe shit tickets is bull shit.

wonderpance:
Ever hear of Stanislavski? He created "the method", and acting technique made famous by Brando, and his ilk. One of the tools they use is "sense memory". Ever catch a whiff of the purfume your high school girlfriend used to wear, and drift off into vivid day dreams about making out under the bleachers? Well I was doing my thing, and got detected afamiliar smell, and i was transported back to the bathroom pushing out reams of stickytoothpaste shit. ANd there i was, thinking of shit right next to something, next to something that makes the stuff. I had to walk away. (I just dry heaved writing this)

shitass: that makes a lot of sense, actually. i always smell stuff that takes me back to a certain time or place. and sometimes i even smell something that makes me feel kind of weird, like i recognize the smell but i can't remember why. and your perfume example is perfect, cuz whenever i smell this cologne one of my boyfriends from high school used, i have to get away cuz it brings back unhappy memories (nothing bad, it just didn't go well). then of course there's the smells that remind you of your gramma's house, or if i come across this certain combo of cologne and mints it always reminds me of my sixth grade teacher. i'll stop rambling now.
but i do have one more question: did you ever see that girl again? or did that incident turn you off from her completely?

These stories really cracked me up!!!
Thanks for the laughs!!!

wonderpance:
The bloom fell off the rose, into the toilet, on a steaming stack of shitcakes. I tried to go back, but i couldn't deal.

I work at a nursing home and was converted after trying one of our "adult wipes" out of curiousity. They're nice, especially when one's menstruating as well. I don't use them all the time, only when it seems like something with more cleaning power is called for.

Of course, I pinch them from work, so the economic factor isn't an issue.

She "piches"them...he...he...hehehehehehehheheheh. Yeah. Pinch it...he...he...he

Take some examples from Browner. At least he thought of something different with the laptop on the toilet thing.

Downunder, if you wish to insult my intelligence, at least do so with proper grammar. Please capitalize your sentences and end them with the proper punctuation. Also, it is spelled "majority".

Your anger is showing. In Internet "dozens" this means you loose. Come on, you can do better than than?

You guys brown nose each other too much... You don't like outsiders do you?!? Whilst it's not my intention to insult you the fact remains that most of the world doesn't give a shit about you(freakazoid)thats why you waste the mojority of your time on the internet... food for thought??? maybe you really don't give a shit.

In reference to downunder, I think you've made a fair point, the immature level of shit and ass humour on this site can be pretty painful and you did show very clear insight into the topic whilst maybe you came on too strong I think cleverly you got two people to read what you said, fact is people on this sight really do stick to there own and
(freakazoid), the way you back up fair comment made by (Mr Shitass)with insult...It's an insult to all on this site...DOWNUNDER IS RIGHT YOU DO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET... I bet you use your lap top in the toilet don't you?

Downunder, you shouldn't be so sensitive to what other people say. I just ignore them.

browner... how's it going out there in Cleveland?

I prefer The wet wipes in a tub, on the tank. I thought that whole "replace the dry ones" thing really dumb. I mean why replace dry toilet paper? They should've stuck to marketing the tub of them.

I use wet wipes and like it. My ass never itches anymore or stinks.

Roy Newton: In twenty words or less, describe your stinky itchy life before wetwipes. Thank you.

Those of you who believe the wet asswipe is intended to REPLACE the dry asswipe are.. well.. shitheads. The proper concept has been iterated previously. Dry wipe first to mostly de-turd yourself (perhaps dry wiping once or twice more if necessary) and as a next-to-last step, use the wet asswipe to swab your way to a sparkling clean crapper. At this point, it's useful to note that those of you averse to a wet crack aren't alone; after swabbing your poopdeck with the wet wipe, users generally use a small amount of dry wipe, serving not only to dry the area, but to ensure that all traces of shit have been removed.
Also, since Charmin Fresh Mates were discontinued, I found huge stocks of the single-roll with dispenser along with the 3-roll refills at local Big Lots stores for 0.99 USD and bought a few. In fact, this low price started me using them and now that they're no longer available, I really wish I'd bought more!

Wet wipes are the greatest. You don't use them in PLACE of dry paper, you alternate. First dry, then wet, then dry and it usually takes care of business. No wet butt, no doo doo butter anywhere.

I have to say I am trilled, I no longer have to try to put my butt in the air and try to make it to the sink to wet my tp, only to have it fall apart... Granted I don't need it every trip but enough...

This entire thread is really strange- in South Asia, it is a common custom to wash with water each and every time the lavatory is visited, usually a small pitcher of water(and dry toilet paper is a luxury but is used for initally wiping and then drying off). If you've been to any Arab country as well it is common to find little hand operated showers next to toilets just for washing yourself. It doesn't make sense that on the one hand you are all so concerned about hygiene, but aren't averse to walking around with traces of faeces and urine on your body and clothing.

It's all in the marketing. I bet if you put them out in a tooled leather "wipe coffin" (like the plastic ones that baby ones come packed in).

Call 'em Manwipes and watch 'em fly off the shelves. When you're out on the construction site and get a case of "gig butt", Manwipes are a must.

Manwipes for every toolbox!

Rather have a sore bleeding crack? Now I understand why I can't find the individually wrapped papers I took for years on travels: all the potential users are dumbos or masochists. Very macho!

Let's face it, good heinie-hygeine is better for everyone. The first couple of swipes with dry (Charmin Ultra) then a once over with a wet flushable wipe (Charmins Kid Fresh are the best)- and you're ready for Prime Time. You will also prevents skid marks - nobody like them. Try the Kid Fresh, they come in a plain inconspicuous box, they don't smell like fruit, perfume or a mountain stream, and they do the job. Chaffing, burning (esp. after spicy food!), skid marks, and dirty ass cracks are a thing of the past!

The real question here is why Americans don't use bidets to clean up after taking a dump. Why is being a nation of people with dirty, scratchy asses such an integral part of American toilet culture? A hundred years from now, people will look back on current widespread use of TP in the US and laugh at such an unsanitary practice. The wet wipes were probably an effort by corporate America to forestall the coming collapse in the multi-billion-dollar toilet paper market.

Wet wipes are the way to go. No itchy bum a few hours after you thought you were "clean."

The revolution is coming (slowly) and we will all be a lot cleaner for it.

I dunno how anyone can just dry wipe especially u ladies out there i mean no man wants to go down on a smelly crack,i wash cuz its the only way to clean properly i have a jug in my toilet wash after wiping with dry paper n dry after.

Any person that dnt has one smelly sweaty anus n girls we get hot dwn there neway so why not wash even if u aint done a poop just after a pee now an then, i assure u will feel fresher an ave have the cleanest twat in the west, p.s muslims have to wash after every poop n so do the french u slot r dirty buggers

Hi, pimpturdy.

EFRO King, you post all over the place, but why are you afraid to register on this site? I think you are secretly ashamed of your own views.

I actually wonder if EFRO King is really skidmark. They sound very similar. Then again, I am probably just being a paranoid ninny.

No, TSV, you're just being paranoid again. EFRO King couldn't be Skidmark. If it were Skidmark his alias would be EMRO King. (Look up what EFRO stands for if you don't understand that.)

Usually I'll keep some pieces of paper towel around the bathroom to wet and use in case things would get messy. They're thick and strong enough that your fingers don't poke through, so I don't see the use in also buying wet wipes when that works fine.

Honestly, who the hell wants to use a public bidet--not knowing how many skanky butts or??? were in too-close proximity to the nozzle?

I personally keep a stash of wipes with me when I know I'll be in a public area and possibly need to use the common lavatory. And wipes?: Double duty security since wipes clean up a nasty toilet seat and provide heiny wipage as well (just don't use the same one for both tasks!).....

I have used shit paper moistened under the bathroom tap after dry paper for years. Cheap. Works. Could never use just dry paper. Leaves a god awful smelly residue and ugly skid marks. We use water to clean every part of our body except the dirtiest. Doesn't make sense. Gotta wash the anus somehow after dry paper and then pat dry with paper again.

Don't push so hard, fellow Poopies. Just drop a loaf fast, twice per day, then a Wet One. Save that tree!

Use CandyWipes. They are dry wipes that become wet only when you wet them. So they're wet wipes "on-demand". Plus they are so cute to carry around.

There is a certain way to use Wet wipes. it has already been mentioned. You need to use them in combination with dry TP. Of course noone wants a wet ass.. thats part of the reason for using TP in the beginning. But its like when you take a shower. You get all wet and soapy and nice smelling, because that's how you get CLEAN. Afterwards you use a towel to dry off. This just makes sense.

What are people's thoughts on THIS: If there was a roll of wet wipes and a roll of dry TP next to each other that could fit normallay on your hanger thats alrady installed? I heard that could be something new coming about..

Flushable kids wipes help me with hemorrhoids by getting everything extra clean after a the dry TP wipe, and then they seem to leave just a bit of a skin lotion that helps.

Although it is only occasionally that I suffer the itch and pain of hemorrhoids, this happens more often when I have to take fewer baths and showers, such as when on a winter camping trip. I read all the ingredients on Preparation H, and it just seems to be lubricating the area up. Any kind of lotion seems to help because it makes the surfaces slippery so they do not get chafed.

Wetting regular TP does not work, the paper seems to start coming apart and leaving bits stuck to me. And, then I have to add a dab of lotion or Prep H if I want the lubrication.

I won't flush the wipes at home given all the warnings from other people on the 'net. It is easy to just do a bidet type thing with a container of warm water and some soap.

I've never seen the point of using wet wipes. They're for babies in my opinion, and those of us who use the toilet should be able to stand using dry toilet paper, which works better anyway. Seriously, as a teenager the only thing I use wet wipes for is getting cotton candy and other sticky messes off my hands; I wouldn't even think of using them to wipe my butt.
What I think is really stupid is companies trying to sell maxi pads with free wet wipes attached to the wrapper of each pad. I don't know about other people, but I want to wipe off the blood and feel dry, not just get everything wetter...

_______
...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Dry first, then flush, then wet! Cant beat that combo.

i began using fresh mates this past year and love them. when i drop a load i really drop a load and i dont want to carry any remnants with me. i almost never use dry tp at all anymore. since i have travel packs of ch fresh mates with me, i just wipe clean and feel great. you sickos that claim you dont want a wet ass are tards! when you work and get your hands dirty, do you just wipe em off with dry paper towels? no! you use soap and water and scrub clean. same process applies to your bunghole!

Years ago I had a very sore anus and had to use Tucks wet wipes after using regular toilet paper. It worked well, helped my soreness heal, and I could even stick them partway up my anus to wipe the canal clean. The wetness went away so fast I could hardly feel it by the time I got my pants up. I knew, though, that the wet wipes were for that special time only, and once they ran out, I did not buy any more.

What I do now is this: After wiping with 4 folded sheets of Scott's single-ply, I refold and do another pass. Then I take another 3 or 4 folded sheets (depending on the amount of poop I got on the first set), wipe, fold, and if not much was left, wet the paper slightly from the sink and make another pass. Occasionally it leaves a few paper shards on my butt, but not often. Then I take another 3 sheets folded, make another pass, and by then usually see only a slight brown spot. After refolding, I dab a bit of Noxzema on the paper and wipe for the final time, including a thrust into the anal canal. It works, it feels good, I never have skidmarks in underwear, and it's cheap because the Noxzema lasts for close to a thousand wipes.

I find it interesting that a majority of those that have tried it liked it and can't wait to have 'wet toilet wipes' back. And, those who haven't ever tried them are so opposed against them. The truth is that we will never get our butts clean with just regular toilet paper - have you ever tried to wipe a babies butt with only TP? It doesn't turn out so good. Well, if its true with babies its true with adults too. Also, it is important to note that you butt does not stay wet; in fact, you butt is try even before you pull up your drawers. Think what you may; however, wet wipes will come back one day and it will be the norm to have them in every house. And, your butt will be grateful.

I just had back surgery and with all the narcotics I was able to poop for the first time in 5 days yesterday. Clogged the toilet at work on the first poop. Anyway, I would like it if they had wet wipes at work but I just use a wet paper towel. You have to really wet it down or you'll bleed from the bunghole if you wipe too hard.

The Dry-Wet-Dry Combo is the way to go. Wipe your ass until it stings, then just dip some toilet paper down into the bowl, give the ol' brown star a good soaking, and then you hit it with the dry paper. You're good to go! I prefer to flush the toilet before I dip my paper down in the holy water, but to each his own!

This page is hilarious. I never thought about using a wet wipe to "finish up" after churning out a turd or two. I have moistened a few pieces of dry toilet paper before. The first time I applied it to my backside it felt cold and clammy. Not what I wanted to feel like while cleaning myself up. I sure would not pay good money to use wet wipes. I might reconsider if they were given to me at no cost. Perhaps the wet wipes should have been marketed to the Europeans. After all, they have bidets in bathrooms.