Editor's note: this was submitted yesterday as a comment on our discussion about improving airplane toilets. Good advice below; worthy of being an article on its own.
I work as a flight attendant for a major airline. Here are a few tips for all you lavatory-phobes.
First of all: do not touch anything. As you enter the dreaded lav, grab a tissue and use it to lock the door, to turn on the sink, and especially to open the door when you leave. Also, bring hand sanitizer with you. Aircrafts may look clean, but think about the sheer amount of human traffic dropping germs everywhere. I'm shocked to see how few people clean their hands. It's happened a few times that we had to put little disposable handwipes in the lav when the sink was broken. And at the end of those flights, it's surprising how few of them have been used.
Second piece of advice: wear shoes! I am always shocked to see how many people go into the lav without shoes or socks on. Don't they realize that the liquid that permeates the floor is piss potpourri? So roll up your long pants before you enter! The lavs rarely get disinfected. Between most flights, the groomers are on a tight schedule and barely have the time to give the place more that a quick once-over.
Next piece of advice is to remember that not all the lavs on a plane are the same. If you are a person with a disability, or if you are obese, or if you need to help another person use the lav, most aircrafts have special features to help you. For instance, many have curtains that can be closed for privacy if ever the lav door must stay open to accommodate more that one person. Some lavs even have removable walls. Also, there is usually at least one lav with a baby change table. (Just remember that it's covered with dangerous fecal bacteria -- line it with seat covers or something.) And don't be embarrassed to ask a flight attendant for help -- we are used to such things.
My next piece of advice: time your washroom breaks carefully. The worst and busiest times to use the lav? Right after the movie is finished. Another bad time, especially on a long flight, is right before landing, when we make the announcement that we are about to prep the cabin for landing. Everyone goes to brush their teeth and curl their eyelashes. Another delicate time to go is when we have our trolleys in the aisle. You have to time it right or else you may get stuck at the back and have to wait till we finish the service. If we had to run the (very heavy) trolley back and forth every time someone wanted to go to or come back from the lav, we would never get anything done. So please, don't get nasty towards us if you do get stuck.
My next suggestion is for those of you who may get stuck in a seat right next to a really smelly lav: ask the flight attendant for an unused pouch of coffee grounds to hold close to your nose. It blocks almost any odor. I noticed that many Asian travelers think ahead and bring those little facemasks that cover their nose and mouth, thus protecting them from germs and odors. Pretty smart.
Finally, my best advice would be to not wait until the last minute to go -- even if that means climbing over the big snoring dude on the aisle. It really sucks when your bladder is about to rupture and the seat belt sign goes on for the rest of the flight. (By the way, that little signs means you CANNOT use the lav.)
Oh, and for those people who ask why the lavs are not scrubbed mid-flight, I have a pretty good idea theory: flight attendants are trained to fight fires, to treat any first-aid emergencies that may occur at 30,000 feet, to fight off terrorists, to evacuate hundreds of passengers in minutes, to speak numerous languages, and to stay calm and smile during life or death disasters; but we are NOT trained to clean dirty toilets! Would any other educated, rigorously-trained career-people be expected to clean up crap during their fourteen-hour shift? I doubt it.