Get Clean With Prean

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PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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New hope for stinky and dirty butts is on the horizon.Since I joined Poop Report seven years ago, I have been fortunate enough to review many toilet-related products for the site. Some of the products were great, and I enjoyed writing reviews for them. Many of the products, however, were so poorly designed that I wasn’t able to publish their reviews with a clear conscience because my review on some of these products would have been the equivalent of a product snuff job. This was not the case when I reviewed the product at hand, though. Today, poopreporters, we review Prean.

Ann Pawlowski, the brand director, asked me to review Prean spray back in September, and I said that I’d love to. She told me that I’d like Prean better than anything that I’d used before.

“Bullocks,” I thought to myself. I have to be honest. These are words that I’ve read before. Someone comes along with a new or different product and this will be best product that I’ve tried yet. I’ll be amazed, they say. The guy who sent a toilet seat with a fan that wouldn’t stop said this. So did the guy who sent me a squeeze bulb enema/bidet. I won’t even go into what the guy who sent me a book on enema love said; let’s just say that he liked enemas. And it was with these thoughts that I accepted Ann’s nine-by-eleven manila folder in the mail. This product was either going be a winner or it was going to be put in the garage with the rest of the misfit toilet toys.

My first impression was that Ann liked office supplies as much as I do, because I received a smooth white folder with stuff in it. This was good, because I like stuff. In the folder was a tasteful business card with modern blue and brown contrast, product information printed in shiny and colorful paper, and a personal letter hand-signed by Ann herself. This was a plus as well, because Anne has nice handwriting – it’s big and fluffy, yet it’s still professional. This is a hard thing to do. Her handwriting says, “I’m kewl, and I may still like Hello Kitty, but this product rocks and I am smart, and I have a really complicated phone.”

My second impression was that whoever designed the little spray bottles of Prean is a genius. As I picked one of the samples out of that snazzy folder, I began to hope that the product’s performance matched the product’s design. Let me tell you about the .34 ounce size spray: Omg.

Yes, that was the sound of my gushing. The travel size/sample is five-and-a-half inches long, including the cap which has – yay! – a clip. That’s right. If you are a boy and want to take this product with you, you can; because you can clip it to your belt, inside the back pocket of your jeans, or on your pocket protector if you’re a dexter. The container is strong, too. This is not the simple-walled pump spray crap that you’ll find in Wal Mart’s travel size aisle. When you combine this fact with the bottle’s one-half inch diameter, you are looking at a good men’s carry-along product. Smart, smart, smart. Oh, and I didn’t mention that the travel/sample size is refillable, did I? So nice.

When I got over the packaging, I put the samples in the bathroom and waited for a chance to see how the product handled business. At this point I was rooting for Prean.

An hour later I had to go. I tried not to hurry into the bathroom, but it was futile. I had sprayed some of the stuff on my forearm earlier, when I first opened the folder, and its smell was heavenly. Prean has a very clean scent, one with bamboo and floral overtones, but at the same time it is man-appropriate because it is also fresh and sharp.

I took care of the gross matter first, and then I sprayed once onto the toilet paper and wiped, and it was glorious. Prean spray does exactly what the website says it will do. It cleans your butt (or hoohoo, should you have ladyplaces) with a refreshing sensation, but it doesn’t leave any residue. The toilet paper didn’t break or disintegrate. In fact, the opposite happened. The paper stayed together, and it actually seemed smoother and stronger. I thought about this for a moment, and then I thought about how French fries blotted on paper bags would stain the bag. Prean spray seemed to have the same effect but without leaving my butt feeling oily. The best part of the experience happened after I’d finished, though. As I sat and contemplated the ingredients and product packaging again, I realized that my butt felt awesome. I actually felt clean.

The ingredients are highlighted by tea tree oil, sweet almond oil, wheat germ oil, vitamin E, and Jojoba oil. These all are combined in a silicone base that is used in many cosmetics – cyclopentasiloxane. This silicone is currently sitting on a button seat as to its environmental contributions, but as of now the jury is still out. No bugaboos as of yet.

I love Prean spray. There have been times that I’ve been very glad to have it while out in public, because it actually does give crappy one-ply a stronger feel. I am awaiting the full-size product release and hope that you will find it as nice as I did. If you are also a guy who suffers from butt stank during this day, I sincerely recommend that you buy some of this product, because the smell, cleaning properties, and easy-carrying packaging of Prean spray could be a powerful ally.

Remember, poopreporters, we should encourage companies that invest time and money into the cleanliness of our butts. Our country is way behind in this hygiene area because we harbor millions of repressed and shameful poopers. The closest our national advertising community has come to introducing this concept to the general public has been the Charmin Bears, for God’s sake. I hate those bears. So, give Prean a chance. Buy a sample or two. If you do, I have a feeling that you’ll be back for more.

35 Comments on "Get Clean With Prean"

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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You know, it sounds nice, but the review didn't go far enough. Dung Daddy would have sprayed his nads...and I'd probably try it sans paper...
Good Job Daph!!!


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"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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All those oils. I'm in.
Of advertising & package design. The packaging looks too medical. You don't want someone walking down an aisle glancing at buttock packaging that looks like something from a needle exchange program.
Suggestion- Softer color tone, and different font. Even the simply printed Kiehl's products have inviting charm. My two cents.

Good luck with your product.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Father of a poor pooper's picture
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I tried Prean just as a clean factor and loved it. I also like that it makes harsh airplane and stadium sandpaper feel like soft tissue. I also like that its enviornmentally better than wipes. But none of that matters- I have a son who has pooping issues and has a tendency to skid, he lives for wipes and has them in the nurses office at school etc. He loves Prean keeps in in his bag, and pocket and takes it every where just in case. Its also a good thing that hes an athlete and even if he skids the kids are scared ti make fun of him.

Thanks you Prean- PS great for Camping and fishing

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Lately, I've been hooked on those Cottonelle wipes for cleaning up after going #2, but this sounds like a good option for when you're traveling and don't have access to the wipes. Thanks for the review!


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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

flushette's picture
l 100+ points
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I think the guy with the toilet fan was the toilets ONLY fan....

Anyway.

I thought you were supposed to spray it on your butt after you finish pooping. I guess my theory is wrong -- not all butts smell bad ALL the time!


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Never finish until you're done!

When you've got nowhere to go, and you feel it start to flow, diarrhea... diarrhea.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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You are correct Flushette. Not all butts smell bad all the time. You are treading into the treachuous undertow of posteriors my dear. Careful. hehe!!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Kerosene or turpentine will also get you clean and leave a sharp, manly aroma. Dragging your rectum across concrete should help with the pain a bit.

CC also known as Coach Crap's picture
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The Mythbusters want to inspect the cleanliness of each butt used during the test.Bend over and crack a smile for your closeup on The Discovery Channel.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Hey CC, speak for yourself. Just because I look like a hairy ass crack with a beret, doesn't mean I want to look at theirs.

Jamie Hyneman

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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Thanks CC for cracking the door.
For those of us who have "m's" tattoed on our buttcheeks (an m on the left, and an m on the right), when spread, MOM is ready for an analysis of hygienical rearing extention (did she rear her son right). When inspection is complete, the inspecties hold naked son by both feet. The upsidedown, dangling son spreads his spotless cheeks into the camera...the "m's" now being "w's" to the viewer...the image WOW for all to applaud. Mom faints, son is vindicted. Viewer ratings hit an all time low....

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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The problem is that the closeup will not reveal actual cleanliness (freedom from fecal bacteria). They will need a microscope for that.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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And we all know what a royal pain it is trying to get someones ass under a microscope.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Almond oil eh? That might cause some discomfort were it to bring to the surface a certain allergy to the variety of nuts that reside in trees. Makes me shudder just thinking about what almonds do to my skin after eating them. Hoo boy that would be an unpleasant surprise when your sienna cyclops balloons to bigger than your fist.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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AC, Polyphemus was very large so of course the eye was in proportion to the body. Perhaps, after cleansing you could bend over, spread your cheeks, and play his part in a production of The Odyssey.


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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When Homer's Odyssey is mentioned on poop report, this close to 2012, with the rise in taco bell, and the 13th astrological sign...
The Atacolipse!

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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Squat- you've cracked the code. You better hide your logic, cause the astrological zombies don't like being fucked with.
Admittingly, I prefer Del Taco. The defunct Naugles (Dick Naugle-a former Del Taco employee) was a guilty pleasure as well. What I miss is the order sheet that featured a photo of Dick (sporting a bowtie) with the caption "what would Dick say?" I never knew what the hell that meant, but Naugle's delicious cheese burritos made me shit many a zodiac.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I wonder if Nicholas Cage will play me in the movie...

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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If he's not available, maybe John Travolta's Travelin Psychiatry Troup (featuring the voices of Peter Lorre and Mel Blanc)

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

neverregular's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I cant wait to try prean. Im so glad I found this website , its been so helpful and its nice to know im not the only one with butt related issues. THANKS POOPREPORT

When in doubt, POOP it ALL out!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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You know our (semi-official) motto here neverregular.

PR, helping people, one stinky rank-ass butt at a time.

snowballingblood's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I definitely need to take this stuff for a test drive. I've been searching for something to not only make the zone between the cheeks more fragrant, but my taint and satchel could use a freshening too.

Until now I've just lived by the rule to shower every three or so shits, and I also hit the taint and satch with a shot or two of axe deodorant... but this burns for a minute or two afterward which can't be good. I've also tried swathing the area with a stick of Arm & Hammer deodorant which is nice and cool, but dries the delicate zone out.

Prean could be just the product for me. Does it help anal itch, too? BTW after three shits I find the twixt-cheek zone smells lightly of fish oil.


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No matter how hard you try to poop, a penguin can do it harder.

No matter how hard you try to poop, a penguin can do it harder.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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It is time for someone (perhaps Daphne?) to take on the awesome responsibility to test everything. Prean, MB3, baby wipes, Tucks, battery operated hand held bidets, and whatever else can clean a can.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points
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Great idea Squat,but you forgot to mention Stallone's shells from that movie where he goes into the future.Forgot the title.
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He who laughs last,must have been in front of the blast.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

personal hygiene man's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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personal care for your derriere!

personal care for your derriere!

personal hygiene man's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Squatt and leave it, great idea!
That would truly be an epic comparison, butt not lost to me is the increasing change over from wipes to alternative products which are greener in the sense of less waste, more efficient use of the toilet paper, while most likely resulting in less TP used per occurance. Win/win simple technology again!
The times they are a changin...


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personal care for your derriere!

personal care for your derriere!

Kitsune's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I wanna try it!! Does one order it online??? I wanna fresh patoot and hoo haa!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Actually, this product and MB3 are both great products. I enjoy them both. If you'd like to buy Prean, then I have good news, because it can now be purchased in the 3.4 ounce size. Head over to drugstore.com and get some!
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969 www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Kitsune, First of all I am curious as to why you have chosen the Japanese word for fox as your username? Then, I am happy to tell you that the Doggin-Thunderbutt Institute is currently marketing an emulsified possum grease ointment for female delicate parts that will make your patoot and hoo haa smell as desirable as a pork rind sandwich. Comes in a convenient 5 gallon size and can also be used for cooking fries.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Thanks for the cheap plug there Chief. I also might add that no possums are EVER HURT in the manufacture of our products.

They're just killed.
P. Doggin CEO

HispanicMan60's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Hi everyone,Wow interesting posts here on this Product.I also use Wet Wipes after my Daily poops.Seems Toilet paper dont do the job all the way.I prefer to have my hole as clean as I can.I think this product sounds good.Will try it.

personal hygiene man's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Daphne,
Thank you for your positive shout out of MB3 Personal Hygiene in your reply on 5/1/11, as we greatly appreciate it!
Both MB3 and Preen tackle the vastly improved performance of ordinary toilet paper with our products.
We differ in ingredients and delivery to the toilet paper, butt both have been created to battle the human's (most, anyway!) fundemental pursuit of cleanliness.
"personal care for your derriere!"
www.mb3products.com

personal care for your derriere!

howmanypoopsinaday's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Considering how many poops get produced around here each day, it boggles the mind how much we'd use. Lots and lots as a baseline and lots more if any of my 6 daughters appear. My mom and dad won't use the bathroom here. Not sterile in there. I'm not even sure how many of The Daughters would actually use it, some of them aren't so clean themselves and they wouldn't take the hint.

Still they like to use our apartment as a way station (read: bathroom stop) since it's so much nicer to poop here than at school. I would need a multi-gallon container of Prean, and I am wondering why they make it refillable when there is no bulk size. Maybe they'd let me start a franchise. At 11 bucks for 3 oz I'd have to charge anyway.

Anonymous's picture
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Here's an idea for a bung hole shower: That plastic water bottle you carry! Take a nail and punch three or four holes in the cap. Voila, instant bidet and reusable. Cold or hot water, pure or medicating stuff added to the water. Works really nicely to soothe one's asset after too much hot sauce. Ever notice how that stuff feels the same going in and coming out?

Anonymous's picture
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While the concept is great, the actual product ingredients aren't. Mineral oil is not good for the skin. There are also other artificial ingredients. And as a previous poster referenced, what if you're allergic to nuts? Overall, the ingredient list is very inorganic and some are actually bad for the skin.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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This is not completely true. If someone is allergic to nuts, then this person would know already to check the ingredients to any product. I don't think the sweet almost oil is an issue in this way, unless the person in question is careless. Also, mineral oil is the last ingredient listed, so there is less of it than any other ingredient. I think mineral oil gets a bad rap, actually. In cosmetic grades, it is not comedogenic, is highly refined, non-carcenogenic, and provides a decent barrier for the skin to retain water. Most people tolerate mineral oil on the skin well, in fact. Overall, too, half of the list is inorganic; the other half is organic.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com