Get Clean With Prean
New hope for stinky and dirty butts is on the horizon.Since I joined Poop Report seven years ago, I have been fortunate enough to review many toilet-related products for the site. Some of the products were great, and I enjoyed writing reviews for them. Many of the products, however, were so poorly designed that I wasn’t able to publish their reviews with a clear conscience because my review on some of these products would have been the equivalent of a product snuff job. This was not the case when I reviewed the product at hand, though. Today, poopreporters, we review Prean.
Ann Pawlowski, the brand director, asked me to review Prean spray back in September, and I said that I’d love to. She told me that I’d like Prean better than anything that I’d used before.
“Bullocks,” I thought to myself. I have to be honest. These are words that I’ve read before. Someone comes along with a new or different product and this will be best product that I’ve tried yet. I’ll be amazed, they say. The guy who sent a toilet seat with a fan that wouldn’t stop said this. So did the guy who sent me a squeeze bulb enema/bidet. I won’t even go into what the guy who sent me a book on enema love said; let’s just say that he liked enemas. And it was with these thoughts that I accepted Ann’s nine-by-eleven manila folder in the mail. This product was either going be a winner or it was going to be put in the garage with the rest of the misfit toilet toys.
My first impression was that Ann liked office supplies as much as I do, because I received a smooth white folder with stuff in it. This was good, because I like stuff. In the folder was a tasteful business card with modern blue and brown contrast, product information printed in shiny and colorful paper, and a personal letter hand-signed by Ann herself. This was a plus as well, because Anne has nice handwriting – it’s big and fluffy, yet it’s still professional. This is a hard thing to do. Her handwriting says, “I’m kewl, and I may still like Hello Kitty, but this product rocks and I am smart, and I have a really complicated phone.”
My second impression was that whoever designed the little spray bottles of Prean is a genius. As I picked one of the samples out of that snazzy folder, I began to hope that the product’s performance matched the product’s design. Let me tell you about the .34 ounce size spray: Omg.
Yes, that was the sound of my gushing. The travel size/sample is five-and-a-half inches long, including the cap which has – yay! – a clip. That’s right. If you are a boy and want to take this product with you, you can; because you can clip it to your belt, inside the back pocket of your jeans, or on your pocket protector if you’re a dexter. The container is strong, too. This is not the simple-walled pump spray crap that you’ll find in Wal Mart’s travel size aisle. When you combine this fact with the bottle’s one-half inch diameter, you are looking at a good men’s carry-along product. Smart, smart, smart. Oh, and I didn’t mention that the travel/sample size is refillable, did I? So nice.
When I got over the packaging, I put the samples in the bathroom and waited for a chance to see how the product handled business. At this point I was rooting for Prean.
An hour later I had to go. I tried not to hurry into the bathroom, but it was futile. I had sprayed some of the stuff on my forearm earlier, when I first opened the folder, and its smell was heavenly. Prean has a very clean scent, one with bamboo and floral overtones, but at the same time it is man-appropriate because it is also fresh and sharp.
I took care of the gross matter first, and then I sprayed once onto the toilet paper and wiped, and it was glorious. Prean spray does exactly what the website says it will do. It cleans your butt (or hoohoo, should you have ladyplaces) with a refreshing sensation, but it doesn’t leave any residue. The toilet paper didn’t break or disintegrate. In fact, the opposite happened. The paper stayed together, and it actually seemed smoother and stronger. I thought about this for a moment, and then I thought about how French fries blotted on paper bags would stain the bag. Prean spray seemed to have the same effect but without leaving my butt feeling oily. The best part of the experience happened after I’d finished, though. As I sat and contemplated the ingredients and product packaging again, I realized that my butt felt awesome. I actually felt clean.
The ingredients are highlighted by tea tree oil, sweet almond oil, wheat germ oil, vitamin E, and Jojoba oil. These all are combined in a silicone base that is used in many cosmetics – cyclopentasiloxane. This silicone is currently sitting on a button seat as to its environmental contributions, but as of now the jury is still out. No bugaboos as of yet.
I love Prean spray. There have been times that I’ve been very glad to have it while out in public, because it actually does give crappy one-ply a stronger feel. I am awaiting the full-size product release and hope that you will find it as nice as I did. If you are also a guy who suffers from butt stank during this day, I sincerely recommend that you buy some of this product, because the smell, cleaning properties, and easy-carrying packaging of Prean spray could be a powerful ally.
Remember, poopreporters, we should encourage companies that invest time and money into the cleanliness of our butts. Our country is way behind in this hygiene area because we harbor millions of repressed and shameful poopers. The closest our national advertising community has come to introducing this concept to the general public has been the Charmin Bears, for God’s sake. I hate those bears. So, give Prean a chance. Buy a sample or two. If you do, I have a feeling that you’ll be back for more.