I am sorry, I have to comment.

Colon Hydrotherapy is complete and utter bullshit. If you consider the number autopsies done you would think that the Fecal Plaque would have shown up in at least one of them. You would think it would have shown up in medical literature.

The fact that it's only described in literature that claims to heal it lends no creditable. The 'discoverer' of the fecal plaque isn't a medical doctor, or a praticioner in any medical field.

The fact is a colonic is just a glorified enemia, at a severly inflated price. These shit suckers are just selling a warm and fuzzy enemia. There is no medical, or scientific, proof that colonic does anything to improve health. That is unless you have an impacted bowel, and if you do then seeing one of these people should be the last thing you do.

I am sure that you are a good and nice person, but your choosen trade, shit sucker, is complete and utter bullshit.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

What CravenMorhead said.

Oh, don't mince words with us, Craven. Tell us how you really feel.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Is this industry regulated by a state licensing board? Are the products regulated by the FDA? What does the NIH have to say about colon hydrotherapy?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

I bet she has some great stories for PR.
Producing waste since 1967

*giggle*

I hate people getting taken advantage of by these so called professionals who intentially mislead them. The entire natural medicine and organic craze is a prime example of this. They use marketing, preying on the consumers fears, and plain old bullying techniques to get them to spend more money on their expensive products. While providing no hard evidence that their products are any better for you.

All the shit sucked out of you by a colonic would have pased normally in about four hours.

An organic apple isn't any better for you then a apple from a farm that uses pesticides and all that. Anyone that tells you different is lying to you.

I tired of people getting away with this bullshit. I am tired of the snake oil salesmen.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

I've never done this procedure. I've heard arguments from both sides, but I have no official opinion. However, I wonder: Craven, do you think the author is lying when she says that "it alleviates depression, takes care of colds and flus before they attack, and, above all, gives me an incredible sense of joy in the world"? Do you think she's lying when she reports the feelings her customers have described to her?

Dave,

Yes I do. What is described is a psychosomatic effect. The colon has two main purposes, it reclaims water from the stool and stores it until it is evacuated. The toxins within the stool is mostly from the dead bacteria that is being passed from your small intestines.

Clearing out the colon via a colonic has no positive effect, if anything it causes slight dehydration in the body. There is no effect on the immune system, nor the hormonial balance in the patient.

Colds and the flu are infections that mainly begin and spread through the respiratory tract, and then into the body. Clearing the colon will have no effect on the illness. It will just get the reminants of the virus out of the system quicker. It won't break the illness any quicker.

People read the testimonials and get high expectations from them. They are fed the propaganda, intentionally or not, and two things happen:
1). They believe that these things are going to happen, and they are so convinced that they subconscious cause it to occur. See the placebo effect.
2). If nothing happens, no euphoric sense, no break in a cold, nor relief from the flu, they get embrassed that nothing happened. They white lie their positive results.

The colonisits take the most positive feedback, spin it just the right way and post it in the testimonials.

A colonic is akin to putting rocks at various points on your body, believing that it will cure an illness. It just doesn't work that way.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

Sounds good to me and I bet with a completely flushed colon you can rip some really thunderous farts. And no fear of sharts! I for one would like to try it sometime just to say I did it then if I like it who knows?
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

If my name was Mary, I'd sit at CravenMorhead's feet. (see Luke 10:39)

I welcome the stories, as well as the dia(log)ue that will, perforce, ensue.

(You will notice, Fudgeunpacker, that the good folks here DO know shit from Shinola, so don't be surprised if yours is dissected, analyzed, criticized, bandied about, thrust in your face, and, occasionally, worn as a corsage.)

Welcome to the Uncommonly Cordial Collegial Cloacal Kollektiv of the Computer World!

_______
purveyor of the brown note...

like Kramer said wet and wild baby, wet and wild

I really don't like how Craven wrote

"*giggle*

I hate people getting taken advantage of by these so called professionals who intentially mislead them.

because one doesn't giggle and then profess a hatrid towards the fact that these people get taken advantage of. It's a condescending thing to say. Not everyone has been able to educate themselves or has been blessed with a discerning mind in this life.

I am no doctor, but I did attend Case Western Reserve and studied medical illustration for a few years (how I wish I would have stuck it out). After interacting with many illustrators, doctors, residents, and so on, I was not under the impression that the colon or its contents are always studied, weighed, or looked at in detail in cases like heart attack, stabbings, obvious cases of death, (the same goes for organs like the gall bladder) I thought it might be studied in poisoning cases, Cancer cases, etc., but not always. Am I wrong? Motherload? Anyone with medical experience who doesn't seem to think they are above the rest of us and are honoring us with their knowledge?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Craven---I agree with you about the suspect value of colonics. As far as organic apples, they may not be better for the consumer, but they are better for the environment, which ultimately is better for the consumer.

Well I assume fudgeunpacker is in the USA, which is a pity, because I'd volunteer to give it a go tomorrow! As one who has difficulty getting rid of my shit, I can only imagine what's in me! Not a pleasant thought. A good clear out would be wonderful!!

I don't believe the medical claims for this kind of crap and I would never get one myself. I prefer to remove my fecal plaque, the good old fashoned way - taking a dump.

But can this make someone feel better? Absolutely. Anything people believe in can make them overcome a vareity of problems. Some people feel better after a day of shopping at the mall or watching a movie.

Craven: I agreed with you up to the organic apple part. Pesticides are toxic chemicals meant to kill organisms. Consuming them on our food is not good for us, or, as an earlier poster mentioned, the environment. Thats why lymphoma is known as the "farmers disease". It is aquired from chronic exposure to pesticides and herbicides...

Chip - 'But can this make someone feel better?'

Only one way to find out. And if you haven't tried it, don't knock it!

I can't help but think that since politicians are full of shit, they'd simply cease to exist after undergoing this procedure.

You can tell when someone has had this done- the look a little flushed.

Hi Hamster - Thanks for the nod of support. What country are you in?

Craven - You are right; there are few published scientific studies on colon hydrotherapy, and colonics are not a cure-all. The medical establishment does not place much of a priority on alternative therapies. It is only within the past few years that there have been medical studies done on acupuncture, which has been healing people for over 5,000 years! Plus a lot of published studies have the financial backing of pharmaceutical companies. The NIH freely admits that hydrotherapy in general "is not well-studied." Neither was breast cancer, until women started pushing for it.

Not everyone has optimal transit time, and increasingly I'm seeing people who only poop once or twice a week. Colons don't get clogged overnight, and one treatment is usually not enough to make a difference, especially in someone dealing with chronic issues. Plus, if someone gets a colonic and little to nothing comes out, they are likely to say "This doesn't work!" As I have seen in my years of practice, people who release the least are most in need of treatment, as they don't possess the colonic muscle tone to get the lead out.

There is the rare patient whose allergies disappear, or whose eyesight improves after just one treatment, and I also feel this is sensationalist PR. But my guess is that my colleagues and I could have thousands of clients tell you how much their health has improved because of colonics, and you wouldn't believe a one of them.

Tis a shame. For a site so devoted to the ins and outs of pooping, I thought a colon hydrotherapist would fit right in!

fudgeunpacker - I'm in the UK - and have a lifetime of irregularity behind me! But better now than ever, and can now manage an average of every other day.

Hi Hamster - I remember reading that average transit time in the UK is like 70 hours. What do you all eat over there? :-)

If you're in need, try any one of these to find a practitioner near you:

The British School of Colon Hydrotherapy

The Guild of Colon Hydrotherapists

I-ACT

I-ACT's UK referral list

Happy releasing! :-)

fudge (normally use initials but FU doesn't seem right somehow!!) - my average is probably more about 48, but often I go longer. My record is a week. A friend of a friend went over 14 days, but that was whilst on holiday abroad, so perhaps it doesn't count! I do understand that she enjoyed her 'visit' after getting home as much as the holiday itself!

But in the UK we are pretty much like everywhere else I'd think. I have plenty of friends who are 'daily', and I was thought a bit of a freak when I used to go every five days or so. Particularly as I like 'real ale' which is often believed to have laxative properties!! Hence the expression 'beer shit' I suppose!!

But I eat a lot, and quite a lot of roughage, every day. And I do quite a lot when I go. I think it's just called a 'lazy bowel'.

Anyway, thanks for the links, I'll have a look!

Penn and Teller's TV show BULLSHIT did a feature on this and came to the same conclusion that many of the people here have expressed and that is it doesn't benefit people, video HERE.

I think colon hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, healing stones and most of this new age claptrap is just like the snake oil cures of the old age repackaged and resold under the banner of HOLISTIC MEDICINE.

Dauphne,

Considering the context it wasn't condensending. Deja Poo said:
Oh, don't mince words with us, Craven. Tell us how you really feel.

That made me giggle. Like the little school boy I am.

But you have said:
Not everyone has been able to educate themselves or has been blessed with a discerning mind in this life.

How is this my problem? I have paid my dues and I have my knowledge now. I am not greed in keeping it to myself. I shall share.

You Continue:
I was not under the impression that the colon or its contents are always studied...(ad nausem)

Differentate between content and function. The colon is water reclaimation and storage. What it stores contains a lot of information on a persons health. It contains information on the flora in your gut as well as the toxins that the body is removing.

An analogy. The colon is the physical structure of your hard drive. Your shit is what is contained within. The hard drive stores your information, like the colon. The information is your shit.

An interesting did you know:
The normal flora in a persons digestive track is unique to that person in the same what that a finger print is. It is plausable to indentify which person a crap came from based upon the bacterial colonies, in both diversity and size, in the crap.

I profer information. You can either take it or not. Not my problem.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

Dumps like a Truck,

I would agree with you that the pesticides and the herbicides that are used in the agriculture industry are toxic. I suppose the first thing that gave it away was the little skull and cross bones on the package but that could just be me. :-)

The produce is then washed, and in the case of apples, repacked and sent off to market. I do believe that there is enough checks and balances that make sure that there are, at most a limited and 'safe' amount of said chemicals on our fruit.

My personal perspective is that the trace amounts of these chemicals are more then enough for me to deal with.

With regards to Farmer's Lung, this is a creative case of which spin you hear. Farmers as well as carpenters, metal workers, teachers, telecommunications, and ranchers have a greater then average tendency to develope lymphoma/myeloma. There has been no causitive link between pesticides and lymphoma/myeloma. The studies that suggest such a link haven't been able to provide consistent reproducable data.

When it comes to an interpretation of that, you can't conclude that pesticides equal cancer. It is hard to even suggest it.

A farmer is working with many chemicals, not just on the field. There is their equiment, their tools, possible organisms from the soil as well as severe uva/uvb exposure. Could it be the well water, could it be the degreaser used to free up to clean the grain auger.

It is all a matter of who you listen to. I tend to provide a different perspective.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

fudgeunpacker,

From what I heard, breast cancer was first discovered in ancient Egypt, labeled as incurable until the 17-18th century when a greater understanding of circulation came about. The mastectomie came in the early 19th century.

Serious research didn't come into it until mid 20th century. Which is understandable considering the state of cancer research and the scientific world at that point.

The medical community works on a cause and effect. Is this effect caused by this treatment. In some cases it is very easy. Does putting brightly coloured stones on your body improve your health? No. Does willow bark tea relieve pain? Yes.

Others aren't so easy, does washing out your colon have any provable health benefits? Not that can be seen. The form and function of the colon has been studyed somewhat throughly. They know what the colon does, and what it's function is. They have a good idea of what a colonic will and will not do.

With all honesty people would only poop once or twice a week should see a doctor, not a colon hydrothearpist. The taboo about your ditry body functions keeps people from doing that.

It isn't that I wouldn't believe them. It is that I would want to study it scientifically. If it can stand up to a rigorous scientific study, and prove that what is seen is more then just "Dr. Feelgood quackery" then I will be satisifed.

None such has happened. There are a few medical communities, National Council Against Health Fraud, as well as the California Health Department's Infectious Disease Branch to name a few, have come out said the opposite:
"The practice of colonic irrigation by chiropractors, physical therapists, or physicians should cease. Colonic irrigation can do no good, only harm."

To be frank, I don't accept your profession. It is akin to psychic surgery, except people can get severly hurt in the process. You're fine, though playing the martyr won't help you, at least with me.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

I've tried to convince my clients that they should feel a sense of joy in the world after they leave my office, too. It appears, however, that their opinion of my profession is the same as Craven's opinion of fudgeunpacker's.

Just because you don't like what someone does or you think it's bullshit doesn't mean that other people don't find it useful and/or helpful...just look at televangelists.

_______
P.S. I'm a tax accountant.

I love how they sugar coat the language to try to make it sound more appealing. "A nice warm bath for the large colon," I'd like to see the reality, in print: "I pour my left-over coffee into a squeezy bottle then shove that thing up your bunghole and let fly. You'll take a shit so big it'll look like a sleeping guinea pig!"

Mary Queen of Scats, your logic is flawed, for we are not talking about "joy," but empirical and scientifically-measurable claims. If I enjoy slicing my wrists because I'm emo (hypothetically), that may give me joy, but is it good for me. Can I claim it cures certain diseases?

These colon hydro-therapists, as they like to call themselves, make grandiose claims but have no scientific (or theoretical) proof. Their proof consists of imaginary things they invented to scare people, like the so-called fecal plaque.

People who go to tax accountants can measure your effectiveness by empirical data (tax returns, etc...), but "joy" is all subjective and cannot be measurable. You can advertise your success based on these empirical data, but if you're to claim (hypothetically) that by doing their taxes, you will allow them to live longer, you better have scientifically REPRODUCIBLE evidence to support it.

Craven doesn't in anyway claim that colon hydro-therapy doesn't give "joy," because it very will might, since "joy" is just another figment of our minds, but from what science knows about the colon, it shows that colon irrigation can only be harmful.

If colon irrigation is good for you, then so is vomiting when you want to loose weight.

Mary Queen of Scats, also, using televangilists as a comparison is completely flawed logic, because watching a televangelist has no adverse side-effects and will not physically harm you (unless you're obsessive, but that can be applied to everything else). Whereas, colon irrigation can ONLY cause (physical) harm.

You don't think watching televangelists could have any adverse affects? Maybe you should tell that to all the people who gave their lives' savings to Jim and Tammy Faye Baker.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Craven - I think you are way off base and need to get an education. I am currently in college, already earned an AA - an am on my way to another AA in Nursing, with 8 year res plan to go. Also, I am definately CONSERVATIVE in these matters, however, common sense should never be ignored no matter how much education, or how ill opinionated you are.

I am curious - have you ever had a colonic - or are you just spewing out your displeasings without first hand knowledge OR any medical education?

First of all - about Pesticides - DUH! If you dont think they are bad for you then perhaps you should spray some Raid up your nose and report to us how you feel. There are TONS of medical reports and scientific evidence, and yes, even published in gov approved publications, proving that it causes a rash of terrible diseases - most of which are cancerous - but I am sure your not really concerned with CANCER right? Of course you are. It has been directly linked to the most endocrine disorders (thyriod disease) in which there are MILLIONS OF AMERICANS and rising that suffer from this. I will just leave it at that for now, since its obvious idiocracy.

About Colonics, I have not had this done on myself, I have relatives that have and they have reported different effects, I believe the amount of positives will rest in the individuals experience, but - each of them have reported feeling somewhat better, to extreme improvement. Of course it is not going to bring ulitmate Joy to your life, and of course its not saving you from Viruses sinse virus tranfer (fyi) are most common from the HANDS....... I think we all learned this in K1. However, since an enima does not have
regulated pressure sensors, and does not even come close to this kind of cleansing, I would say its worth a try, but dont expect to see god (or any other religous experience for that matter).

On a final note, I have been discouraged by alot of products that seem to good to be true, some of them are good, and some of them are junk, but if you dont try, you will never know.

Craven - I am a conservatist, and I am skeptical on just about everything I read, but I am ready to get whatever is lodged in my ass out, maybe you should too.

Just felt one thing needs to be said here. Colonics do work for what they are intended, to empty the bowels. No Hype...just shit evacuation..

I keep reading on this site about all the people who have trouble having a good BM. They go for numerous days and some even weeks. Take a combination of dangerous drugs and drink bitter tasting liquid to no avail. They just cant shit...At the same time they continue to eat and eat...not adjusting their diet. So they continue to bloat and bitch they can't shit..well here is a solution that worked for me...

Fast for three days on clear liquids, fibrous fruit and vegetables and their juices and some benotonite clay then do a series of 3 Colonics in a period of 7 days. It will get rid of the shit and you will feel better. Try it before bitching...you are not a creditable source if you have not tried it...I have tried it...no miracle cures, but I was not looking for that, just needed the excess shit out and that is what I got....

Much much more practical than being constipated for days and continuing to eat the crap that is making you constipated and using products that do not help in the process of shitting...

Mary Queen Said:

"Just because you don't like what someone does or you think it's bullshit doesn't mean that other people don't find it useful and/or helpful...just look at televangelists."

-

What utter rubbish that is! You justifiy giving out misleading medical information by saying that it makes "some" people feel good?

What if a person refuses legitimate medial attention because they believe that one of these goofy "cures" actually work.

I agree with you that there is a similarity between colon cleansing and televangilsits. Both tell people than can be healed by having people send in their money and hope for the best.

While Craven elaborated on the subject with some actual knowledge, all you did is complain and play cry baby.

Fudgeunpacker, you are in an honorable service profession for which there is a definate need. I don't buy into all the hype that your service is all a person needs and will cure all, but I have first hand knowledge that colon hydrotherapy cleanses the bowel. How many of the critics have tried your service? It looks like not too many. I have no doubt that certain folks with an agenda will claim that it can only cause harm; there is a lot more profit in a saline enema than in five gallons of filtered water. Where are you located? I'm full of crap as are most people and I could use a nice visit with you while you do your job on me.

Hello there, Mike from Seattle here. On a lark, just for fun, I had a colonics treatment here in Seattle recently. It was a bit un-nerving having such a lovely young lady plunge a white whiboscus into my brown-low, but after that it was all very comfortable and interesting. Warm. Cozy even, despite the giant Buck Rogers plumbing device, lots of meters and valves... she filled me (oh! oh! Ohhh!) with warm water, and then the (ahhh!) release, which travelled through a pipe that most conveniently emitted through a large clear tube near my face so I could observe the effluvia. Water. Then green bile. Then.... bile with stuff in it. Then a chunk or two (I don't eat gum), but them some rings akin to.... calamari. I finished (no, it's not like the lovely attendant hands you a single sheet of TP and smiles)... and then, endured a small sales pitch about multiple treatments and a modest discount. After that last embarrasment, I escaped into the amazing seattle winter sun. Ahhhh. I wish I could say I left feeling soooo refreshed, (like a Brioschi for the ass), all ready to start a new novel, but... I left feeling.... a bit much as when I went in. Just slightly more damp. And... wanting a giant Buck Rogers Colonics device for my own! I headed for home, singing a happy tune, indeed, I felt so fine that I decided to stop at the liquor store. Oh man. Wrong "move". Exited the consummary, tequila accomplished, but about 20 feet from my truck.... OUGHHHH! Doubled over, under theee most intense bowalistic pressure! ohh! If only I could have dumped right there in the lot. But hey, just under 2 miles? Zoom, I headed in and out of traffic, 65 in a 35 no problem, and then skidded up to the front of mah hoose. Only to effluvicate all over my truck seat, before I had the chance to fall to the ground outside of my truck. Laughing and crying the whole time. Oh cheezus. For those of you who colonisize, beware the immediate after-math. Just take a small amount of care. As for colonosization as a hole.... after seeing that squid, i was thinking that a steady regimen of liquid forced up the pipe would be ok/fun/good (couldn't hurt).... and, to realize said bene's. I just ordered a rather forceful bidet. More to come. Information that is. Toot toot! Tugboat.

Perception is reality. I swear that after washing, waxing, and detailing my truck, it runs better! I "know" that grime removal has not effected the drivetrain, but it seems to have more power. Same is true for colonics. If you think you will feel better/have better eyesight/have an emotional upheaval, you will.

Watch Penn and Teller's show Bulllshit! on Showtime, they have one about this.

BTW: I am NOT giving my opinions on colonics, just recommending someone else's. I have no medical knowledge, so I really don't know what's the real thing.

It's only a matter of time before my sister tries this. Right at the moment she is using some sort of natural colon flush. I'm trying to get her to write up her experience, which she lovingly titles "Shitfest 2008", but so far she hasn't gotten around to it.

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I used to live in Vancouver, BC. There was actually a section of the yellow pages entitled "colonic lavage". Partakers of this kind of service are apt also to say things like, "herbal remedies cannot possibly be harmful. . . they're natural!"