Magnesium Citrate Blow-Out

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It actually started about a week prior to that fateful night. One day, I didn't have a successful bowel movement. Well, that day turned into two days, and those two days turned into a week. I attempted several times to evacuate this massive block of feces during this time period, but no matter how hard I pushed (even though they say you're not supposed to push too hard), nothing came out.

So, after a week or so of not pooping and plenty of stomach pain, I felt the need to call in the troops. I went to the local drug store and picked up some Magnesium Citrate.

A lot of people don't even know about this product due to its lack of branding and its generic looking bottle; however, if you've ever visited a gastroenterologist, this is what they'll recommend as a stool softener.

So I got my bottle of MC and went to work that morning. Luckily I work in a small office with very few people, most of whom were not there that day. I drank the entire bottle that morning and then I waited. It was very crucial that this process was complete before 5:00 that day because it was the night of my fiancé's office Christmas party. Coincidentally, she just happened to work for a group of gastroenterologists.

Around lunchtime the pain in my stomach became overwhelming, to the point at which I had to call my boss and tell him I must go home immediately to lie down. I was having excruciating stomach pains. Once I got home, I could barely walk. I managed to make it to my bed, where I just laid still. It hurt to move at all. I never felt the urge to go, though, and I ended up falling asleep after about an hour.

I woke up around 3:30 or so still with the agony residing in my lower abdomen. Luckily my fiancé got off work early that day so she could get ready for the party. She came over. She knew about my predicament and offered any help she could, telling me I needed to get up and walk around a bit.

So I got up and did a load of laundry. Meanwhile, she took my spot on the bed and fell asleep. And not much longer after she dozed off, it happened.

I ran -- actually, it was much more of a stiff-legged hop -- from my kitchen all the way to the bathroom in my bedroom. This was it. It was time. I was going to do it no matter what. The pain was too great for this to be another false alarm. I told myself no matter how much it hurt, it was going to come out this time. So I bore down on the counter next to my toilet with one hand, gripped the soft green toilet seat with my other, closed my eyes, and pushed.

SLAM! It sounded like a bomb coming out of a cannon. I felt as if my rear end had dilated over four times its normal size for this birth. Out of breath, I sat there for a minute, allowing the small amounts of liquidy substance to follow this massive brick of poo out of my system.

Okay, I said to myself, I'd better flush this before the second wave of diarrhea hits me. I turned to face this evil villain that had plagued me for a week now, but the water was too dark to see the culprit that sat at the bottom like lead weight. Still, I was ready to say goodbye to this massive ball of waste. So, without a square of toilet paper in the bowl, I pushed the little death lever to flush my toilet.

Big mistake. The poop was so large and so thick that it alone completely stopped up my toilet. The water began to rise.

Now, I've had my share of overflowing toilets. I knew how to handle this. I'll just reach down and quickly turn off the water to avoid any spillage.

This time, that did not work. The water, the poo, and bits of God knows what all came pouring out. I tried to quickly swipe up my rugs and bathroom mats, but it was too late -- they had already been contaminated by that vile substance now all over the bathroom floor.

At a loss as to what to do, another problem quickly reared its head: I still had more in me that needed to immediately come out. With no time to think, I sat back down and let 'er rip. The toilet water had gone down some, so more overflowing wasn't much of an issue.

After I finished I stood up and, without any place to stand, stepped into my bathtub. When I looked over at the toilet, I was actually able to actually see what this batch looked like. To my surprise, there were very strange pieces of an unknown substance floating around in the bowl. I immediately became alarmed. What if this was part of my insides? What if some of my intestinal wall was afloat inside my toilet!?

Very nervous and panicky and still out of breath, I whimpered for my fiancé, asleep in the next room. It was a miracle she heard me. I told her there was a mess in the bathroom, but it was an emergency and I needed her to look at something.

My wonderful wife-to-be is always there for me and would do anything for me. And the fact that she worked at a gastroenterologist's helped; but she would have done this anyway. She opened the door and laughed because there I stood, clinging to my shower curtain, pantsless and still leaking from my rear end. I asked her to please look at what I saw. She did, and reassured me that it was some sort of food, more than likely barbecue eaten about three days before.

Slightly relieved, we conjured up a clean-up plan because, even after all this, we still had to get ready for her Christmas party in this very bathroom. (We have two bathrooms; however, the other one is my roommate's, and since he was home, I wasn't going to go walking through my house naked to get there.) I threw down some towels (the ones I didn't really like anyway) and my fiancé went into the kitchen to get some garbage bags. We cleaned up as best we could because time was running short and both of us needed showers (especially me). I still had urges to continue the evacuation process, but I was forced to hold it in until we reached a point where I could relieve myself in a toilet that could withstand massive amounts of liquid and poo. I let my fiancé shower first (after I cleaned the shower out a bit); I planned to follow while she blow-dried her hair.

We were really coming down to the wire now. It was finally my turn to get cleaned up. I hopped into the shower and turned on the water. Much to my surprise, there was absolutely no hot water. My butt and my legs were covered in fecal matter and I had to wash it all off with freezing cold water. I thought this night couldn't get any worse until I realized I needed to shave as well. So there I was, standing in a waterless shower, dry-shaving and turning on the water only to rinse my razor. I followed my painful (yet refreshing!) shave by throwing water at myself from the faucet and then trying to lather up some soap. It was a very difficult process and I hope to never have to do it again.

We ended up being about fifteen minutes late to the Christmas party, but no one really noticed, which was good because we didn't have to explain to anyone why we were late. Looking back at that night, I often laugh at the events and how they unfolded. That will be a Christmas party I never forget.

667 Comments on "Magnesium Citrate Blow-Out"

Anonymous's picture

I absolutely love the humor in this! I plan on getting a bottle myself since for the last month I've been miserable. I take four medications daily along with five or six vitamin types all for my diabetes, kidney disease, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure that decided to rear it's ugly head after I received 3rd degree burns back in January. Joy. I was almost looking forward to the side effects of my diabetes meds where it says that it may cause diarrhea... Um...yeah...it did on the first day but not after that. Darn... They also say stress can cause a change in your bowels. Yep. Stressed beyond normal since December, but who's really keeping track of my bad luck? Hope this works! I may even buy a second bottle to be on the safe side. Wonder if I should go anywhere this weekend since I have it off work? ;) Wow, so interesting sharing this. LOL! I do have to say that I appreciate reading this story/blog comment since it gives me a heads up. Thanks!

Anonymous's picture

Chutes And Crappers

I had a severe kidney infection called Pyelonephritis. I was given antibiotics (4 of them one IV). Those, instead of GIVING me diarrhea gave me BLOCKAGE! I tend to obstruct easily, so instead of my normal Miralax I chose Grape MagCit. Well I took it two days ago and nothing, so I drank the OTHER half the bottle yesterday morning. What I was in for was nothing I was prepared for. I thought I'd poop a couple times and be ok. Well there is nothing OK about my current situation. I sit here typing this hoping to get through it long enough before I have to use another six rolls of toilet paper. I am considering pulling a Steve-O from Jack@$$ and getting my butt cheeks pierced SHUT! All I do is POO! There is always a gigantic wine cork and duct tape I could use to "shut the trap" for a while. I can't even enjoy a cigarette before that feeling hits me! At this point a colostomy bag sounds like a decent solution! I hope this stops soon, I've been going to the bathroom for seven consecutive hours at least five times an hour, averaging about every 12 minutes. This SUCKS! I am afraid to take anything to stop the process in case there are any bacteria in there that actually NEED to be evacuated. I swear to God I make the eruptions from Mt. Vesuvius look wimpy! I was going to take my normal dose of Benadryl to help me sleep, but it puts me out like nobody's business...and well...quite frankly...I don't want MY BUSINESS ending up in my very nice and very expensive bed! I've nearly crapped my pants a half dozen times and I cannot stay outside long enough to enjoy my two cigarettes without feeling like I have to use the crapper...so perhaps I will bring out a bucket or a very large jar I planned to throw away and crap and smoke at the same time...but it seems that my cigarettes make me crap worse! But I need my cigarettes...what a dilemma I know. I am a medical professional who educates patients on taking the stuff and what to expect...but when it comes to you having to take the stuff yourself you lose all of your own medical knowledge and are searching around for your fellow colleagues, most of whom are working or are in bed...S**T! I am not cursing b/c I don't want to get kicked off the site or be banned for wrong language, so I have inserted symbols where necessary...and speaking of necessary another BOMB is about to hit...but this time I am going to try to hold it in as long as I can so that I can have one very very very large bomb in hopes of training my bowels to slow the beep down! Or at least frequent my poor newly fixed toilet a little less...ugh. This stuff is CRAP and I wouldn't feed it to my worst enemy! I'm going to stick to Miralax next time, my usual one tablespoon twice a day! Screw this crap...I gotta go...

Sincerely
Chutes and Crappers

Anonymous's picture

Two weeks and two days, but who is counting since I had a total knee replacement. N Contin (morphine) works well to block the pain, but also blocking everything else. Took something in the hospital, Milk of Magnesia, that seemed to have the same effect described here BUT maybe not as much as here? I am afraid to try this, now that I read about the less than good experiences others have had, but I am getting desperate.

Anonymous's picture

OMG THAT WAS A HYSTERICAL STORY. I AM STILL LAUGHING... WHAT ISN'T SO FUNNY THOUGH; MY GASTRO JUST PRESCRIBED ME SOME MAGNESIUM CITRATE TO DRINK TONIGHT BECAUSE OF MY PREGNANT LOOKING BELLY. I am going to do it, regardless of how fu**ing disgusting it is because I am so incredibly fed up with my blocked up colon (well the rest of it since 1/2 of it is removed). All I can think about is the EFFING NASTY stuff I had to drink for my colonoscopy a few months back, so I am prepared... but I cannot help me but TRICKED by the bottle that's currently staring at me. Mmmm... cherry flavored! Sounds delicious to me. AH HA HA HA! I will probably be kicking myself later when I drink it.. and HOPEFULLY SHITTING TOO!

Anonymous's picture

So I'm currently on vacation and I've been having problems going since I arrived 5 days ago. I've been eating regular meals but it concerned me that I didn't even have the urge to go. I also started to look very pudgy in the stomach area. So after my birthday dinner tonight which consisted of filet mignon, scallops, a lamb chop and a couple of shrimp, I decided to stop at the drug store before coming back to the hotel. Instead of keeping the party going at a bar I decided to take shots of cherry MC instead. I finished taking it at midnight and I was worried that I'd fall asleep and take a crap in the hotel bed during the night but exactly 35 minutes later I had to RUN to the bathroom for the first time. It wasn't painful so I guess I didn't have blockage but boy did it stink! Luckily my boyfriend had one too many beers and fell asleep quickly or else he'd be propping the door open for sure. I've been sitting on the pot for about 10 minutes now but haven't pooped again. Hopefully I don't get diarrhea all day tomorrow because I can't imagine trying to find the nearest bathroom each time at Disney world. Don't be scared to take it if you feel you need it. It doesn't taste bad aside from being extremely sour and will definitely give you relief fast.

Anonymous's picture

OMG I love this site, so nice to know poop problems are everywhere. Being a uc sufferer I am the colonoscopy Queen and can relate to most of the stories here, As I am waiting patiently for mc to kick in and out, I am amusing myself reading theses post, poopers of the world unite.
May the poop be with you, poop long and poop free!!

Anonymous's picture

im in the bathroom right now exploding

Anonymous's picture

Blue slush puppies make your poop green.

Anonymous's picture

So what I thought was a kidney infection is now lots of poo.. Today was the day I met my boyfriends dad, they ended up taking me to the hospital for extreme pain... Only for the doctor to announce my poop problem in front of my boyfriend and his dad... Embarrassing much? But im 3.5 hours into this and so it begins

Anonymous's picture

Hi All,

One, I just want to thank pretty much everyone for not only the funny stories, but the ongoing ingenius ad-libs people seem to be able to come up with.

Just some notes in the event anyone who is contemplating taking MC hasn't -yet- taken it.

1. Magnesium is hygrosopic or water attracting. It will pull water from the rest of your system into the GU tract, so not only drink water, but something like Gatorade or any other electrolyte solution will make some of the annoying naseous/dizzy type annoyance minimal or non-existent.

2. Unless you've been ordered to take MC by a Dr. for some reason, for common constipation I'd suggest you goto the store and pick up the cheapest bottle of Mag supplement.
That is going to be Mag. Oxide, which is really almost useless as a Mag. supplement aside from the fact that it is the cheapest.
While it isn't bio-available/abosrbed much by the body nutritionally, it works just like MC in the GUI tract for pulling water into the intestines.
The key here is that you can try and mess about with a bottle of MC which is 18,000mg of citrate, you can also just get a $2.99 bottle of Mag Oxide and start taking 1000mg every hour until something happens.
I had a bout of recurring kidney stones a year ago, and after a lot of research hit upon daily Mag supplement which totally cleared that up. Occasionally I'll forget or skip a few days, and then will double up my dose. I quickly remember a couple of hours later why I shouldn't do that when my bathroom breaks are surprisingly tinkl-ish instead of bombs away.

Just be happy. My wife is an RN, and her last job at a retirement home had her on a weekly basis working with a CNA and a spoon....

BTW, final tips, really.

1. Did we all forget what we learned as children? Pinch your nose before drinking/eating anything nasty and then do it fast. It works.

2. If you are average size male/female, go with maybe 2/3's bottle and then wait an hour or two. If smaller, try 1/2, if larger, still stick with 2/3. You can always take more a little while later, and it seems a little while can be anywhere from 30 min to 4-5 hours.

3. I don't know if this is normal for women, but my wife introduced me to these things call baby wipes. We don't have children, but I swear these are the best kept secret Men never heard of. Even if you aren't currently chained to the thone.

4. Haven't tried this, but in retrospect, or if I ever have to do this again, which I know I will, considering using some of lubricant on your no fly zone. Vaseline or the standard Triple Antibiotic ointment most people have in the medicine cabinet should work fine. Basically, you really want to try and have some sort of barrier between sensitive membrane areas and output material which has had vastly accelerated transit time from the Upper and top of the Lower intesting.
All that Hyd. acid from your stomach and Upper intestine mixed material has been fast tracked, and has not had the time to be pH neutralized as it normally does.

I happen to live almost solely on burritoes and japelpenos, my experiences and logisitical pre-planning may not by the same as yours.

Here are some options for those who may be constipated, but not yet at the 1 week marker.

Magnesium is hygroscopic, which means it attracts water. That why it works, it pulls water from your blood and interstitial areas between organs and muscles into the GI tract.

The cheapest Magnesium available as a supplement is Mag. Oxide, and it has a very low bio-availability or uptake into the small intestine. Thats why its so cheap, its really not worth adding to an multivitamin except that it allows Manf's to cheaply check off Magnesium as an ingredient.

For those of us here however, its great as a non-addictive laxative. Take two or three of the 500mg tablets and you'll get a more waterly product that is less 'pressurized' than with the Cal-Citrate.
Seeing as last I looked the Cal-Citrate was like 18,000mg/bottle, you can take 1000-2000mg every hour for up to 8-9 hours until something starts gellin'.

Anonymous's picture

Is it weird that I read these while I poop?

Anonymous's picture

I have been reading all of your comments and I can relate to alot of what everyone is saying on here. I have been taking methadone for 5 years now and I'm 25 years old. I never had "normal" bowel movements even when I wasn't taking the methadone but lately I have been very blocked up. I've tried everything from Dulcolex (which is a nightmare)!! I was up all night after I took 2 pills of the Dulcolex and was experiencing extremely awful and excrucciating stomach pains (spasms) and I was violently vomiting! Hopefully I never have to use them again. Then my doctor prescribed me Amitiza 24mcg and I stared taking them but with no luck and some bad breathing side effects. Now I am taking metamucil and 2 Phillips stool softeners eveyday with no luck either. I feel so helpless, constipation really sucks! Now I was thinking about using this MC and I just wanted to know if people experienced really bad side effects as in cramping or nausea after they took it? I seem to have a weak stomach and I'm veryyyy worried that I will get severe stomach pains and cramps and nausea, please let me know if any of you guys have experienced any of these symptoms, thank you :)

Anonymous's picture

Epic story. In 2002, I was pregnant and was recommended MC by the pharmacist (curse him) and we read the directions. OK, drink the whole thing and I'll have relief from two months of inactivity.. yes, two months. It is possible. My husband went first only to take a sip and then ran up stairs first. (A way of encouraging me to drink it, thank you honey) So I said "bottoms up" and drank the whole thing. Within a few minutes it went to work and I was getting much needed relief. We had dinner that evening only to find out this stuff wasn't quite done with me. I ate some fantastic green beans and within three minutes of eating them, saw them again in the toilet. Two weeks later I was still having MC induced poops and lost fifteen pounds. Four months pregnant and barely weighing 85pounds, I vowed never to touch it again. I am 4 months pregnant with my sixth child (constipation only takes place while I'm pregnant with boys, GO FIGURE) and I am tempted to ride out the same poopy roller coaster to get some much needed relief again. But THIS TIME, I will take it slow and just a couple tablespoons. I learned my lesson the hard way.. ignore the directions. Just do it in tablespoons!

Anonymous's picture

Recently had a problem with being plugged up. Painful stuff when you cant poo for awhile, some of the stories were humurous but on the other hand painful. i managed to solve mine with a few spoon fulls of "phillips stool softener" which might as well say for butt pudding drink this. finally about 7 hours later i feel "normal" again. this MC sounds nasty though. definitely will try everything else before i ever touch that stuff.

Anonymous's picture

I also have laughed until I can't laugh anymore, but my mom has drank 2 bottles in two days & nothing yet. She's on pain meds right now, so know this is what caused it, although she has always been constipated, just worse now. I can't wait to see if I have to go over there when it finally hits. Will be scary. The guy who used the Angus bathroom cracked me up, along with the guy who's fiancee had to see all of that. True love, I'd say. I have colitis and there have been many stories like this for me. I don't have to take anything any more, just eat wrong and BOOM!! My fracus was at a Hobby Lobby bathroom and I felt so sorry for whoever had to come clean it up, that I used a whole roll of toliet paper trying to help. It was so disgusting I thought I would vomit, but somehow got out of there without vomiting. When I saw it had sprayed the walls & behind stool seat, I just couldn't let someone else do that. Dummy me. Maybe wouldn't have bothered a guy, but did me. Just a horrible mess.

Anonymous's picture

Gotta love this site. Finally people I can relate to. Having been diagnosed with a autoimmune disease two years ago, I take a arsenal of medication and supplements. One of them being mad citrate. I changed brands recently, I went from magna calm (which is the best in my opinion) to CAL crystal magnesium from mothers. This brand does not work nearly as well. It was working ok, till I decided to try some chia seed pudding I made. Never had chia before. It was like swallowing a plug. I haven't gone in days and I feel sick from all the magnesium I am assuming is built up in there. I am going to try so magnesium citrate from the drug store this afternoon. It is chilling in the fridge as we speak. I hope this blows the damn chia out of me. Thanks for all the posts.

Anonymous's picture

Not sure if it's available outside of Australia, but we have a product here which is called Colocaps - it's MC but in capsule form (take 15 capsules in 3 lots of 5, 15 minutes apart with wongaloads of water). Has the same explosive effects, but none of the taste issues.

Anonymous's picture

I had a radical hysterectomy Dec. 8 and the anesthesia & narcotics & not being able to walk had me stopped up. Not too worried at first because I wasn't eating much. But I ended up BACK in the hospital a week after surgery for 5 days due to dehydration. And they wanted me to poop before I went home again. Well, several doses of MiraLax did nothing at all. then a couple of suppositories did nothing at all. After the enima did pretty much nothing the doc ordered mag citrate, lemon flavor. it worked. i couldn't walk well or fast and still made it to the bathroom. It did cause some stomach (gas) pain but making myself move helped, even just bending over and back. I guess it moved the gas around? I had to use some once i got home too and it was not fun, but it never made me vomit or feel nauseated. And I'm not sure I drank water with it. I didn't really know I needed to. Good luck if you try it. I will try to avoid it in the future by eating plenty of fiber but it's good to know it's there if you need it. Only $1 at Walmart :)

Anonymous's picture

LMFAO! You had me laughing so hard reading your story! I needed that laugh because I am going through a stressful situation with my 3 year old boy whose GI doctor prescribed magnesium citrate and the little booger won't drink it even if it's grape flavored AND in grape juice. I realize it tastes horrible but how do you convince a 3 year old that it's for his own good? Anyway, I'm glad I had some comedy relief. Thank you.

Anonymous's picture

Everyone who posts and says this stuff is a "Bomb" lies! Within 45 minutes I was in the bathroom. And every five minutes for a few hours after that. Now it only hits sporadically. There has been no bomb. It was more of a yellow watery diarrhea that burned me a new bum hole. :( Though I did lose 2.9lbs since taking it. haha :p

Anonymous's picture

My 4 yr old son was born with Hirschsprungs Disease and had a 4 hour surgery at 2 weeks to remove the last 3 inches of his colon. He now will have constipation problems all his life with the added benefit of not having the nerve cells that tell him he needs to go. So we're just now getting him potty trained and it's been a chore, but he's going on his own with some encouragement and steadfast determination, finally! Well, wouldn't you know his Pedi GI wanted an XRay to see how things looked and he had a pretty fair amount of stool showing, with an area of blockage. So we get to go down the MC Superhighway to Hell!! Oh Yea, lucky us! First problem I can see is that this poor kid already doesn't have good control, so anyone care to venture a guess what will happen when we Rev up his intestines with this Supercharged version of Anal Retaliation? Doc say's 4 oz for a 32 lb 4 year old, but after doing some reading here I think we are going to take baby steps and start with spoonfuls. Will return with info on how it goes. Thanks to all for the stories, and the sense of humor while in catastrophic conditions. Jack, be glad she was your fiancee and not your wife of 10 years as it may have been a dealbreaker! LOL

Anonymous's picture

BILLY:
I take Soboxone and I absolutely do not go number two without my Magnesium Citrate. I take it in powder form. It's called Calm Powder. It's about 15 to 18 dollars a box and you can get it at most health food stores. It usually has enough powder to last me about two weeks..

Anonymous's picture

Like others in this post, I was backed up far a few days. Ducolax did nothing, so I doubled the dose. Still no joy. Maybe because it expired a year earlier? Broke out the enema bag, a one-quart model. Over the course of several sessions I filled and emptied it twice. There was mild relief but no movement the next day. Feeling bloated and getting concerned I visited the drugstore for grape-flavored Satan. I was able to swill the first two thirds of the bottle without tasting much. The last third was a little like work.

That was at 8:30AM yesterday. The gurgling started within 30 minutes. By the 3-hour mark I was ready; the explosion happened. There were many repeated visits over the course of the day. Around 8:30PM I was wondering if it would ever stop. I decided to check the internet to see how long this was supposed to last and found this post.

Between clenching my colon and LFMAO reading the thread above, I nearly passed out. I couldn't focus due to my eyes tearing up. I was well past gurgles and deep into thunder rolling around my insides. It felt like Mr. Slave and Lemiwinks had friends over for a party. Around 10:30pm the thunder diminished to gurgles again and I felt like maybe I could go bed sometime before the crack of dawn. Around 11:30pm I had my last squirt and had started my paperwork when I got another wake up call and another disgusting squirt. I cleaned up and went to bed. I was elated at 4 AM when I farted and didn't make gooey mess in the bed.

Breakfast with coffee started the gurgles again. And yes, the subsequent morning BM was liquid, again. I have had a couple of doses of Acidophilus, hoping things will firm up soon.

This stuff is great for clearing a logjam but one really needs to be able to dedicate some time to not doing much of anything else for a lonnnng while.

Anonymous's picture

Hey everyone, please try taking this form of magnesium. I take it nightly and it works without any pain or exploding bowel movements. You can get it at vitacost.com -- two different brands.

Natural Tranquility or Calm. IT is an ionic magnesium citrate. It's a powder you mix with hot water to dissolve. Calm comes in flavors. I've used it for years, Take a tsp or so at bedtime get up in morning and have a nice soft bowel movement. Please try this it works great!

P.S. love the poop stories not your pain.Bodily functions are funny, like farts. Everybody poops!

Anonymous's picture

Oh my God.....So here I am prepping for a colonoscopy. I have taken the 4 dulcolax tablets, the 238gm bottle of miralax (mixed into 2 32oz bottles of Gatorade) & have already had too many to count, visits to the toilet bowl. I have to mention that today was the Super Bowl, while everyone else seems to be celebrating football, I myself have had enough of the "bowl" long before the game started.
It is now 2:00 am & I still do not seem to be through. I will say, I am def out of solid material & it is all down to the water faucet stage. I cannot sleep & my procedure is at 11:15, meaning I am not quite done with this prep. At 6am I am to drink a full 10oz bottle of Mag Cit, followed by 32oz of Gatorade.
I decide to Google Mag Cit & I am brought to this lovely, forthcoming group. I thought the worst was somewhat behind me, until I started reading all these posts!
Needless to say, I am scared shit-less right about now! What if I am still having to visit the bowl right before & up to my colonoscopy!?!?
I am now thinking I should drink the MC at an earlier hour.
Even though I came here in fear & now I leave even more scared than I came, I have smiled a bit through the ongoing agony I was already experiencing.
Wow.....who knew the world was so full of it!!!

Anonymous's picture

Grape flavored magnesium citrate. Can't wait!

Anonymous's picture

that was the best laxative ever. I have also had a very similar situation minus the toilet overflow. when you take this stuff and first sit on the toilet its like a bomb explodes from your colon.

Anonymous's picture

OMG.. I am rolling here folks.. Capricorn girl I am like you poop and farts make me laugh ..

I had to drink that stuff prior to a Colonoscopy.. Feel your pains..

But funniest story ever. My boyfriend and I were out one night. He got this god awful look on his face ran to the bathroom. What seemed like 3 days later he came back and said come help me fast. I went into the bathroom of this bar and looked at the wall shit paint all over the place with a nice touch of smeared effect.. I was like what the heck happened.. He said my ass exploded you have to help me. We cleaned and cleaned .. Mind you earlier I said we were in a bar and had a couple cocktails to many already.. My finding poop stories funny was probably not much help between the alcohol and the tears from laughing.. We did the best we could. Left a big tip and have never went back..
So fellow poopers gone bad.. We salute!!!!!:-)

Anonymous's picture

good god this stuff works.

Anonymous's picture

This site is great, I've laughed until I'm crying! I am so sorry for all of you who have these problems.

I too have constipation issues. Pretty much I've been constipated most of my life, but since I fell in my back yard and injured my back and hip, I've been on narcotic pain medication and it keeps me blocked up.

I came across a website while searching for something to help with the constipation. The name is really funny and I thought it would end up being a waste of my time and money, but I was willing to try anything once.

PoopDoc..... The guy at the bank asked my husband if it was a real company while checking his charges recently! LOL

Ozonated Magnesium Oxides

I swear by it though and I regret when I forget to order it before I run out. unlike most laxatives I've tried over the years, it doesn't cause the stomach cramping or bloating.

I take it at night before I go to bed and when I get up in the morning, I drink a cold glass of water or juice and it works right away.

When I first started taking it, I hadn't had a BM in over a week and the rep that I talked to said to start with 8 capsules and take one less each day until I got to 2-3 a day and keep it at that dose daily.

I was amazed the next morning when it worked just as advertised. I'll never drink anymore of that nasty salt soda again.

If you're blocked up, you can expect to have several trips to the bathroom but I'm pretty sure that's what has to happen to become unblocked!

If I could I'd tell the whole world about this stuff. I hope some of you find it helpful. I have a few funny stories of my own I could tell but don't have time right now.

Tracy

Anonymous's picture

I was told by the doctor to drink magnesium citrate before having a kidney removed tomorrow. I got the lime flavored one and chilled it. It wasn't a horrible taste as many people have posted. I took it two and a half hours ago and still nothing. I did take a good poop within 30 minutes of taking it.

Anonymous's picture

Hey, thanks for this story! It feels good to know that poop problems plague us all!

I'm most impressed with your wife to be in your story. You have a GOOD woman! You should be proud.

Anonymous's picture

I take a very high dose of Fentanyl. When I told my doctor it felt like giving birth every time I took a shit he told me about MC, so I picked up a bottle drank it right when I got home and nothing happened all day. As I'm sleeping at about 3 am I wake up and there's a strong ass pain in my stomach but also a feeling that I can shit so I hop to the bathroom. I put one hand on the sink one on the toilet with all my might push out a little fat hard piece of shit followed by a storm of liquid shit that shot out like a cannon exploding all over the bathroom.

Do I recommend MC! Yes definitely, it's the final solution if you shit every two weeks but if your not on any pain medication and you just went away for a while and didn't shit its probably just the diet and I wouldn't go through it for that.

Anonymous's picture

This was hysterical. I had horrible blockage problems and went to the ER. I ended up taking mineral oil and Ducolax. It took forever for my bowels to get back to normal. Next time, I will try the magnesium citrate although I will plan to do it when I know I can be home alone with a plunger at my side! You poor thing.

Anonymous's picture

This is quite honestly the funniest thing I have ever read. I knew it was going to be good by the title alone, but I could seriously not stop laughing. I am so glad I stumbled upon this after googling magnesium citrate.

Anonymous's picture

I have taken (MC) before, not only do you poo, but it's mostly liquid that wants to burn a second hole next to the existing hole.
I just had to take MC again today, since I have been struggling to poo for the last couple of days.

Let's just say my butt is on fire and every time I look at the toilet paper I cringe. I now fear to use the restroom! I guess me and the old Vaseline will be doing the two step!

Anonymous's picture

Prepping for a colonoscopy, Mag citrate plus a squirt of MiO water enhancer really made the taste bearable. I took it at 5pm and am still waiting. One hour and fifteen minutes and I'm getting that rumbling in my large intestines.

Thanks for all the posts. This has been very helpful.

Uh oh..... Here we goooooooooooooo.

Anonymous's picture

One week ago I had a boob job! My tits look great but my bloated gut from no BM's is not cool! These girls are nearly ready for display!

The general and pain meds from surgery did a number on my GI track. I've without any luck taken the normal constipation remedies. This nasty shit is my last resort. Also, I'm sick of my family asking if I've pooped yet! I'm taking the slow and steady approach. I've downed 3oz and a bottle of water. Back for more. Another 3oz and a lemonade chaser. 45 minutes down and waiting! I can't wait!

Anonymous's picture

Wonderful Short Story! Consider it.

Anonymous's picture

OMG. This is funny! I'm actually writing this on the toilet after drinking that shit (pun intended) It's true, your ass explodes, then you start peeing out your butt. Water is the only thing coming out.

Well, good luck everyone!

Nick Nick

Anonymous's picture

Here I am sitting at the 45 minute mark after taking MC and enjoying the last couple minutes of sitting rather than the toilet for the rest of the day.

I can feel my body working down there, and will report back if the results are as explosive as promised.

Good luck to all my fellow poopers.

Anonymous's picture

I was constipated off and on for several months. Saw a GI in March who recommended Miralax. Caused sluggish slime stools. My constipation gave me horrible cramping in my stomach and it doesn't help that I sit all day at work.

I went to the ER on a couple of occasions hoping for relief, they tested my blood and urine and recommended more fiber and another stool softener. Watched Sick, Fat and Nearly Dead on Netflix, freaked me out. Starting juicing and eating way more veggies, didn't eat meat for 2 days, got super dizzy. Felt a little better stomach-wise, but definitely not healthy.

Used to drink lots of alcohol and what they don't tell you is that beer/liquor causes an increase of magnesium excretion through the urine. After much agony, despair and a little prayer, I ordered Peter Gillham's Natural Vitality - Natural Calm (magnesium-citrate) from Amazon, based on recommendations. Instant relief. Stomach bubbles, parts of my intestines that probably hadn't moved well in weeks were moving. Feeling 100% better. Thank God. Drinkers beware.

Anonymous's picture

Nobody has posted on here in about a year, and this story is 6 years old, but here I am, waiting to shit my brains out. Since I look pregnant, and my boyfriend recommended magnesium citrate to clean it all out, I took it upon myself to buy some. Cherry flavor seemed the best and I drank a little more than half the bottle.

I took the mc at 8PM, and here I am at 2:26 AM, and still no shits. There was gurgling and rumbling at first, but that all went away. I'll be going to the fair tomorrow at 3, and with my luck, and by the unfortunate calculations all of you have made, I'll probably shit on the Ferris wheel.
My favorite part of these posts is the shitty puns. (Sorry I couldn't help myself)

Anonymous's picture

I'm scared to take this, it sounds like the devil himself. I'm taking Miralax and it isn't helping enough. The doctor prescribed MC and I'm too scared. Oh well, I'll start taking it tomorrow.

Anonymous's picture

First of all, this site is friggin' hilarious! I had no idea that when I got back from the pharmacy today and chugged my grape-flavored bottle of liquid lightning I would stumble across this site. I feel like all you posters are now like extended family!
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I noticed that my BMs were getting different. I'm normally a guy who goes every day like clockwork but the past couple of weeks have seen the movements get more infrequent, smaller and more difficult to pass. My doc sent me home with a bottle of MC and a big 'ole tub of Mirolax and told me not to venture too far from the house for several hours after taking it.
Unlike a lot of you, I found the grape-flavored one tolerable. I've tasted worse things. I chugged it down about 3:15 pm and started feeling the initial rumblings about an hour later. However, it wasn't until about 8:30 that the first dumpage occurred. Thankfully I didn't have any major cramps, nor did I have to make a mad-dash to the bathroom. I just felt it was time to go.
The first movement was pure and utter relief, but damn, talk about a pot-full of nastiness. The chunks were multicolored, for whatever reason, and I was more than happy to send them to a watery grave. A few minutes later came two bouts of fire hose movements, black and nasty. Since then it's been about every 45 minutes of watery discharge but no cramping or pain. Thank goodness.
Again, all you posters have made what I thought was going to be an unbearable night one in which I have laughed a "shitload!" (pardon the pun!)

Anonymous's picture

lol im @ the library 2 School in South Africa. So Stressed doing an in Industrial Processes and Production of Magneisum Compounds. Its been Rather a EXTREMELY bad day 4 me, but boy i havent laughed so much in my LIFE. LMFAO!!!!!!
"DAY MADE"
To top it up im @ da library "@ da serious section" we call it lol. where No 1 is laughing or even smiling, Straight faces and all.
I couldnt help it i literaly laughed out loud. Now im sitting @ the steps out side, in the cold yet im warm cause a laugh changed my day 4rm the worst to the best!!!!
Educational, Motivating and inspirational stories!!

Magnesium Citrate it is!!!!!!!!

Anonymous's picture

I love these and all the comments!! Let me tell you, I was supposed to take this over a month ago and got too scared but finally decided to take it tonight. I got the grape, gross but not terrible. I found it easiest to drink about a fifth of it at a time with ice, then chase it with some Gingerale, take a couple minute break and back out it. I found it easier than chugging it all. And make sure you drink lots of water!! Seriously, so important.
But about 30 minutes later, the gurgles and bathroom time. At first, it was every 10 minutes or so for the first 3 times, now about every half an hour. Don't be scared to take it, because seriously, it works and it's $2 a bottle and really cleans you out!! I'm eating now and wondering if it will result in an immediate blow out. Only time will tell!! Good luck!

Anonymous's picture

I just took half a bottle a few hours ago, nothing yet. Gonna finish the bottle. Hoping for a blow out.

Anonymous's picture

I had tears running down my face when I read this post. Hilarious!

Anonymous's picture

Ugh! This stuff is the nastiest thing I have ever had the displeasure of having to swallow! People who say, "It tastes very salty." should be slapped for that understatement! That stuff tastes like straight up vinegar and the texture is like drinking saliva! Oh, they also have grape flavor now, which SMELLS exactly like grape soda. DON'T BE FOOLED!

I mean, if you have to drink it, by all means do so but be prepared for your "sour face" to be a permanent fixture on your face all the while! On the other hand, I can't say the stuff doesn't work, because it surely does!

I was on the toilet within 15 minutes of drinking about 6 oz! I had/have a partial intestinal blockage so what came out of me was dark green liquid nastiness! I felt so much better afterwards though!

Unfortunately, I think the antibiotics I am taking are starting to back me up again. I'm now waiting for my Dr. to call me back to tell me what I should do. Hopefully I won't have to drink that disgusting stuff again!

Wish me luck!

Anonymous's picture

A PAINLESS AND LESS UPSETTING WAY TO ALLEVIATE CONSTIPATION: -- ENEMA

Instead of relying on magnesium citrate, it would be a LOT less painful and you won't have such disgusting memories of swallowing something that tastes so nasty, if you simply did a distilled water enema with Raw Apple Cider Vinegar that you can get at any major grocery store.

You want distilled water, because tap and spring water can have micro-organisms in them and obviously your stomach acid won't be involved in destroying the bacteria before it reaches your gut.

Get your distilled water and a rubber enema bag at the local pharmacy (Call ahead to make sure they have one, because I'm finding the stores aren't carrying them like they did just 3 years ago. These darned pharmaceutical companies would rather sell you a chemical that cost money each time, rather than use something you can use over and over like an enema bag. It looks like a hot water bottle but it comes with an attachable hose with a clasp on it and a tip that you can wash in hydrogen peroxide to sterilize.

Anyway, put 1-2 Tbsp Raw Apple Cider Vinegar into 4 cups of distilled water in a measuring cup and pour into the enema bag. Put some old or white towels (you can bleach white towels) down on the floor of your bathroom. Hook the enema bag up high, put some oil on your butthole and the end of the tip, insert and open the clasp for a minute. Close and repeat until the bag is empty.

Then wait. When your bowel absorbs the water, it will let the feces go. When you feel the strong urge, get up and poo. Sometimes, when you are really stopped up, you will get a lot of gas, but still all the poop doesn't come out. That's okay, just repeat the process.

You won't have diarrhea for days, no pain or cramping other than for that 5 minutes you're on the pot, you won't need to strain, you will feel so much better than if you take magnesium citrate.

If you find that you get constipated often, begin taking vitamin C and magnesium supplements. (doesn't matter which magnesium combination, just avoid oxide as that one is least absorbed). Increase the vitamin C tablets until you get diarrhea, then after that take one less tablet. This is how you know you have properly reached the amount of vitamin C that your body wants to be healthy. If you again get diarrhea, decrease your daily amount by one tablet.

Good Luck!

Anonymous's picture

I was merely trying to find out if MC would hurt a pregnancy at the six week stage and wow still no answer, but glad I found this site. I am also trying to clean out my self because my Doctor, well the NP, said he could see from my x-ray that I am constipated.

Anonymous's picture

Great funny and helpful site! Ditto on appreciation for the posts. After reading them I believe I better stick to 1/2 of the MC bottle, at least at first. And I'm now chilling it for the taste factor... I hadn't thought of this before last post. Plus chilling it offers yet another opportunity to procrastinate this little adventure that I sort of dread. But I'm miserable and desperate and nothing else seems to be taking care of the actual blockage. Not Philips MOM (liquid chalk if you ask me), not Citrucel, nor drinking pickle juice (I didnt seriously think that would work). So bottom's up! Literally.

Anonymous's picture

DRINK WATER... something that is always forgotten is that water helps make the MagCitrate work.

Anonymous's picture

Absolutely right! Water is the key. It also helps with the inevitable dehydration that results from these explosive episodes. I told a friend of mine that they could point my a-- towards the raging wildfires and I'd be more effective than firefighters' water hoses. This is agony at the time, but the "end" result is overwhelming relief! I don't have a problem with keeping the toilet paper industry in business. In addition to water, PLEASE use soft, very plush toilet paper.

Anonymous's picture

I recently went through this with my 2-yr-old daughter, whose abdominal x-ray showed an impaction the size of a grapefruit! She had a distended abdomen and soilage problems, where the "new" poop was leaking around the impaction, causing us to change more than a dozen diapers some days. Her pediactric gastroenterologist instructed us to do a "clean out" with magnesium citrate. We had a time trying to convince her to drink it, too (we had the cherry-flavored.) My husband tried to force her to drink it, so he can now testify to the fact that she can bite HARD! We finally had to bribe her by telling her that Daddy would go buy the Elmo balloon she saw in the CVS (where we bought the MC.) It took an hour for her to drink it, all while I read books to her and kept encouraging her and reminding her that Daddy would soon be back with the balloon. We were supposed to do an enema, too, but that definitely didn't happen after the MC was so traumatic! So, did the MC work? Um, let's just say that "Poop Hell" was a common phrase in our house for at least a week of blowouts. Now she has to take Miralax for 4-6 months to retrain her bowels to work properly! The doctor says this is a very common problem, and most of the patients who come to him have this problem, but I had never heard of it before, and I have two older children. And the smell is not normal! The doctor says that it's all of the bacteria in her intestines, and that's also why her tummy is distended, because of the air produced by the bacteria.

The original post and several of these stories have been hilarious, and it's actually theraputic to read that we're not the only family who is dealing with "Poop Hell."

Anonymous's picture

Lmao!! I'm earning my own frequent flyer points right now as we speak!!! Oan: my boyfriend had constipation after having an anal fissure repair, the nurse suggested magcitrate, and he blew off the stitches!!!!! Hilarious!!!

Anonymous's picture

About four years ago, I was having bowel issues and as a last resort, had a colonoscopy. The prep was exactly like yours,four Dulcolax, fourteen doses of Miralax and sixty-four oz. of Gatorade. I could barely finish the concoction, and to this day refuse to drink orange Gatorade, but it worked great. The test came back negative, and ironically, I had no problems after that. Guess all I needed was a good cleansing!

I started a diet makeover and wanted to do another cleansing beforehand, and a customer at Walmart recommended magnesium citrate. I bought the lemon flavor and chilled it. Kinda sour but didn't taste too bad. The bloating in my stomach bothered me the most. I'm forty-five minutes into it and it's had a very gentle effect. No blowouts to report, yet. What a great remedy for $0.98!

Anonymous's picture

Started taking the "zesty" lemon flavored bottle just about 1 3/4 hrs ago...just finished it off. Laughed my ass off reading this...now I'm getting ready for the eventual "shit my ass off" that I know is coming.

Anonymous's picture

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for this little gem. I have had the worst week, mostly due to constipation, and this gave me the much needed laughing through buckets of tears I needed! I have not enjoyed anything this funny in a long, long time!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Good God. What the hell are you all being taught about English in South Africa?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Hi there Anonymous,

Your best bet on getting an answer to your question would be to ask your doctor or your pharmacist, our primary goal on Poop Report is to make fun of you and amuse everyone.

Beast of luck to you and a jolly Holiday Season.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points

What a nightmare scenario. But you handled it like a trouper, Jackhole. And your fiancee -- she's amazing. Hope you scrubbed the bathroom down with bleach solution afterward! Gastroenterologists must be so used to the smell of crap that they wouldn't notice any remaining fecal aroma on your butt.

Stories like this make me so glad I don't work for the city sanitation department. Hauling Hefty trashbags full of shit soaked towels... they couldn't pay me enough.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

the kidney stone's picture

OK, first off i've had to drink this vile brew before, it comes in 2 versions of satan; lime and cherry, thinking about it again, makes the bile come out of my mouth. both flavors, make licking a dogs anus seem like a really good idea. the after effects of this drano, are akin to being run over about 60 times by a truck until you are nothing but mush. the effects last for a week after where you anus contiunes to dry heave and all your intake of food tastes just like which flavor(lime, or cherry) you downed prior. It took me 2 weeks to recover from drinking this laxtive and i wish death on the person that invented it.

I had to go in for kidney surgery and they made me chug this, i vomited no less then 3 times under gun point drinking this, and spent all night on the pot steaming out the lime stenched stomiac lineing of my body. the very site of the picture above triggered off a vietnam era flashback.

never again i would rather die.

Anonymous's picture

I can't stop laughing. Your description is dead on. ROFLMAO

You made my day!

CC's picture

I might be wrong,but I recall taking a stool softener in pill form that you can swallow without chewing.I had a problem with hard stools that caused a small amount of bleeding.The doctor thought I might have been straining also.I remember an advertisment for a laxative containing a stool softener.It might have been Milk of Magnesia.It solved the problem gently.

Anonymous's picture

You may be referring to correctol, a pink candy coated pill.

Kam's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

CC's stool softener may have been Colace (Docusate sodium) which will certainly be more gentle, but for blasting out a shit plug like that described in this story, the heavy artillery (like Mag Citrate) frequently must be employed.

Jackhole, what were you eating that made you so bunged up for a whole week? Cement powder?

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

I have a feeling I will be downing a couple quarts of this Mag. citrate just prior to my next pooping championship game. If it would make my body cook up a brick sized turd, I would definately win!!

On a serious note, great story!! I am so happy it happened to you instead of me. My poop-chute felt pain for you reading the story. It's stories like this that make me happy I seldom have pooping issues!!


_______
Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

Rectal Badger's picture
l 100+ points

Wow...another woman out there who sticks by her man in times of poo need!

I'm sorry you had to go through such a hard thing Jackhole. That's the absolute worst.