Magnesium Citrate Blow-Out

m 1+ points - Newb

It actually started about a week prior to that fateful night. One day, I didn't have a successful bowel movement. Well, that day turned into two days, and those two days turned into a week. I attempted several times to evacuate this massive block of feces during this time period, but no matter how hard I pushed (even though they say you're not supposed to push too hard), nothing came out.

So, after a week or so of not pooping and plenty of stomach pain, I felt the need to call in the troops. I went to the local drug store and picked up some Magnesium Citrate.

A lot of people don't even know about this product due to its lack of branding and its generic looking bottle; however, if you've ever visited a gastroenterologist, this is what they'll recommend as a stool softener.

So I got my bottle of MC and went to work that morning. Luckily I work in a small office with very few people, most of whom were not there that day. I drank the entire bottle that morning and then I waited. It was very crucial that this process was complete before 5:00 that day because it was the night of my fiancé's office Christmas party. Coincidentally, she just happened to work for a group of gastroenterologists.

Around lunchtime the pain in my stomach became overwhelming, to the point at which I had to call my boss and tell him I must go home immediately to lie down. I was having excruciating stomach pains. Once I got home, I could barely walk. I managed to make it to my bed, where I just laid still. It hurt to move at all. I never felt the urge to go, though, and I ended up falling asleep after about an hour.

I woke up around 3:30 or so still with the agony residing in my lower abdomen. Luckily my fiancé got off work early that day so she could get ready for the party. She came over. She knew about my predicament and offered any help she could, telling me I needed to get up and walk around a bit.

So I got up and did a load of laundry. Meanwhile, she took my spot on the bed and fell asleep. And not much longer after she dozed off, it happened.

I ran -- actually, it was much more of a stiff-legged hop -- from my kitchen all the way to the bathroom in my bedroom. This was it. It was time. I was going to do it no matter what. The pain was too great for this to be another false alarm. I told myself no matter how much it hurt, it was going to come out this time. So I bore down on the counter next to my toilet with one hand, gripped the soft green toilet seat with my other, closed my eyes, and pushed.

SLAM! It sounded like a bomb coming out of a cannon. I felt as if my rear end had dilated over four times its normal size for this birth. Out of breath, I sat there for a minute, allowing the small amounts of liquidy substance to follow this massive brick of poo out of my system.

Okay, I said to myself, I'd better flush this before the second wave of diarrhea hits me. I turned to face this evil villain that had plagued me for a week now, but the water was too dark to see the culprit that sat at the bottom like lead weight. Still, I was ready to say goodbye to this massive ball of waste. So, without a square of toilet paper in the bowl, I pushed the little death lever to flush my toilet.

Big mistake. The poop was so large and so thick that it alone completely stopped up my toilet. The water began to rise.

Now, I've had my share of overflowing toilets. I knew how to handle this. I'll just reach down and quickly turn off the water to avoid any spillage.

This time, that did not work. The water, the poo, and bits of God knows what all came pouring out. I tried to quickly swipe up my rugs and bathroom mats, but it was too late -- they had already been contaminated by that vile substance now all over the bathroom floor.

At a loss as to what to do, another problem quickly reared its head: I still had more in me that needed to immediately come out. With no time to think, I sat back down and let 'er rip. The toilet water had gone down some, so more overflowing wasn't much of an issue.

After I finished I stood up and, without any place to stand, stepped into my bathtub. When I looked over at the toilet, I was actually able to actually see what this batch looked like. To my surprise, there were very strange pieces of an unknown substance floating around in the bowl. I immediately became alarmed. What if this was part of my insides? What if some of my intestinal wall was afloat inside my toilet!?

Very nervous and panicky and still out of breath, I whimpered for my fiancé, asleep in the next room. It was a miracle she heard me. I told her there was a mess in the bathroom, but it was an emergency and I needed her to look at something.

My wonderful wife-to-be is always there for me and would do anything for me. And the fact that she worked at a gastroenterologist's helped; but she would have done this anyway. She opened the door and laughed because there I stood, clinging to my shower curtain, pantsless and still leaking from my rear end. I asked her to please look at what I saw. She did, and reassured me that it was some sort of food, more than likely barbecue eaten about three days before.

Slightly relieved, we conjured up a clean-up plan because, even after all this, we still had to get ready for her Christmas party in this very bathroom. (We have two bathrooms; however, the other one is my roommate's, and since he was home, I wasn't going to go walking through my house naked to get there.) I threw down some towels (the ones I didn't really like anyway) and my fiancé went into the kitchen to get some garbage bags. We cleaned up as best we could because time was running short and both of us needed showers (especially me). I still had urges to continue the evacuation process, but I was forced to hold it in until we reached a point where I could relieve myself in a toilet that could withstand massive amounts of liquid and poo. I let my fiancé shower first (after I cleaned the shower out a bit); I planned to follow while she blow-dried her hair.

We were really coming down to the wire now. It was finally my turn to get cleaned up. I hopped into the shower and turned on the water. Much to my surprise, there was absolutely no hot water. My butt and my legs were covered in fecal matter and I had to wash it all off with freezing cold water. I thought this night couldn't get any worse until I realized I needed to shave as well. So there I was, standing in a waterless shower, dry-shaving and turning on the water only to rinse my razor. I followed my painful (yet refreshing!) shave by throwing water at myself from the faucet and then trying to lather up some soap. It was a very difficult process and I hope to never have to do it again.

We ended up being about fifteen minutes late to the Christmas party, but no one really noticed, which was good because we didn't have to explain to anyone why we were late. Looking back at that night, I often laugh at the events and how they unfolded. That will be a Christmas party I never forget.

674 Comments on "Magnesium Citrate Blow-Out"

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points

What a nightmare scenario. But you handled it like a trouper, Jackhole. And your fiancee -- she's amazing. Hope you scrubbed the bathroom down with bleach solution afterward! Gastroenterologists must be so used to the smell of crap that they wouldn't notice any remaining fecal aroma on your butt.

Stories like this make me so glad I don't work for the city sanitation department. Hauling Hefty trashbags full of shit soaked towels... they couldn't pay me enough.

"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

the kidney stone's picture

OK, first off i've had to drink this vile brew before, it comes in 2 versions of satan; lime and cherry, thinking about it again, makes the bile come out of my mouth. both flavors, make licking a dogs anus seem like a really good idea. the after effects of this drano, are akin to being run over about 60 times by a truck until you are nothing but mush. the effects last for a week after where you anus contiunes to dry heave and all your intake of food tastes just like which flavor(lime, or cherry) you downed prior. It took me 2 weeks to recover from drinking this laxtive and i wish death on the person that invented it.

I had to go in for kidney surgery and they made me chug this, i vomited no less then 3 times under gun point drinking this, and spent all night on the pot steaming out the lime stenched stomiac lineing of my body. the very site of the picture above triggered off a vietnam era flashback.

never again i would rather die.

CC's picture

I might be wrong,but I recall taking a stool softener in pill form that you can swallow without chewing.I had a problem with hard stools that caused a small amount of bleeding.The doctor thought I might have been straining also.I remember an advertisment for a laxative containing a stool softener.It might have been Milk of Magnesia.It solved the problem gently.

Kam's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

CC's stool softener may have been Colace (Docusate sodium) which will certainly be more gentle, but for blasting out a shit plug like that described in this story, the heavy artillery (like Mag Citrate) frequently must be employed.

Jackhole, what were you eating that made you so bunged up for a whole week? Cement powder?

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

I have a feeling I will be downing a couple quarts of this Mag. citrate just prior to my next pooping championship game. If it would make my body cook up a brick sized turd, I would definately win!!

On a serious note, great story!! I am so happy it happened to you instead of me. My poop-chute felt pain for you reading the story. It's stories like this that make me happy I seldom have pooping issues!!

Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

Rectal Badger's picture
l 100+ points

Wow...another woman out there who sticks by her man in times of poo need!

I'm sorry you had to go through such a hard thing Jackhole. That's the absolute worst.

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points

I wish i had a woman to doo that.

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

It must be the maternal thing for a man to ask a woman to View His Poo, because I cannot imagine a woman asking a man to Look At Her Dook.

 the kidney stone's picture

just FYI to anybody thinking of using this stuff.

First off its EXTREMELY Salty flavored, they claim you can mix this stuff with sprite or 7UP. DON'T! you will never be able to enjoy your 7up or sprite again for the rest of your life without it congering up the memory of how this stuff tastes, and you will begin to gag.

If your bowels are functioning normally and you down this stuff, it will turn your solids into liquids, so don't expect to take this and have a massive dookey. you will down this and projectile vomit from your ass the blackest liquid you have ever seen. Oh, and the smell that follows is so lovely you get 2 choices lime and cherry scented aroma.

the worst part is this stuff claims to work in 2-4 hours. having drunk this twice now(salivating just thinking about it) i can atest it is unpredictible and both times i was struck nearly 10 hours later, after about 8 hours of the worst heartburn and gaging each time i burped retasting it, you can actaully feel your digestive system shutdown as this stuff takes effect.

If your seriously backed up use this as a last resort, try other means of fecal removal first.
this stuff will leave you shellshocked.

jackhole's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I don't recall eating anything out of the ordinary to cause this. Work was pretty stressful at the moment, so it may have been that.

As for the flavors, our drugs store had Cherry and Lemon. Supposedly, they make Natural Orange Vanilla, Natural Blueberry, and Orange, along with the Cherry and Lemon (and I guess there's lime too). I don't know why, but I went with the Lemon. It may have even been Lemon-Lime. Anyway, it doesn't really matter, it tasted more like Soda Water. bleh.

Since that day I've been taking Colace (or the generic ColRite) on a daily basis. It helps big time.

I know my story was a bit long, but I completely forgot to mention what happened the next day. I had to call my apartment complex to come out unstop my toilet, because my crappy wal-mart plunger didn't phase this thing. So there I was on the phone with the maintenance people trying to explain that there was a large amount of feces lodged in my toilet and it was also filled with murky, crap filled water. When they called me to tell me when they'd be out to fix it, I made sure I was nowhere near my apartment. I gave them the whole day to get in there and get out without coming in contact with them. Well when I got home, I found 2 surprises in my bathroom. 1, the toilet was unstopped, and 2, they had left me their nice professional plumbers plunger for any future incidents. :) I'll be taking that to my new home this August! They probably left it in the same manner as anyone that has had to use their underwear as toilet paper would leave theirs behind. Just saying to themselves, "we can get another one."

paradise pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This is one of the best stories i have read on PR in the last year or so. Your fiancee has to be a keeper, too. not too many women could deal with a mess, and a question about what was floating in the mess, as well. A+ story.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

The lime flavored version of magnesium citrate is not that bad at all. It tastes like salty Sprite and is very easy to gulp down.

There's nothing at all bad about it going in. It's the evacuation that is a REAL pain in the ass. Crapping water for a week, or longer, makes for a lot of wiping and irritation of the anus.

I think everyone should try it once.

juiop's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

My favorite word: "SLAM!"

I actually felt the pain that you felt, probably not to the same degree, but certainly in the same manner.
juiop: a juicy poop

warm brown fuzzies

Anonymous Coward's picture

OMG-this is my new fave site!!!!! i think that talking about poo is the funniest thing ever. Apparently Capricorns like me love to talk about poop. I loved the comment about how this stuff comes in "three flavors of satan!"

Sharing your pain's picture

OUCH!!! I can certainly relate to your pain...I started trying to go yesterday afternoon, and here it is, 22 hours later and nothing. My friend went out and got me he Magnesium---lemon, if you're curious---and I am trying to work up the courage to drink it...
On the one hand, I want this out of me, but on the other...Well, now that I know what to expect, I'm terrified to drink this stuff...and my poor exit point is saying "no, please, no........."
Well, wish me luck...

bye...and yes, your fiance is a KEEPER!!! been there done that...the checking and cleaning...I even had to check out a 9" parasite that my hub passed...ugh...

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

9" parasite? What was the movie that had something like that called "Shit Weasles"? They were aliens and invading the earth or something. Nasty looking creatures they were amd a very stoopid movie.

Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

EnricoSuave's picture

It all started (for me) about two weeks ago. I was shown a color photo of some poor guy's colon and digestive tract after years of eating meat. Didn't look good, oh.. and he was dead. That image has haunted me since and I knew what it was I'd have to do. I'd have to drink down.. The Green Bottle.

I went to the grocery store earlier today, got the Green Juice (Magnesium Citrate) and then got home. I drank the first half of the bottle down without too much problem. But I had to pretend I was doing lime-juice shots during the 2nd half of the bottle. It wasn't until I'd finished the bottle (adult dosage) that I thought to myself, "I wonder how fast this stuff works?". I did a Google search and came upon this website about JackHole's experience with this Evil Nectar.

It's been exactly thirty-eight minutes since I chugged down the last drop. Nothing too unordinary just yet. I feel a little warm and I can tell the MC is snaking it's way through my upper-intestines like a python through the Amazon jungle. Hmm.. wonder if I can use my mind to pretend this will have zero effect on me. I'll see how long I can hold out. They say you're supposed to take this stuff in the morning. I didn't think of that either until after I drank it down at 4pm.

Just heard some gurgling noises from within. It stopped. Everything's OK.

Until this stuff kicks in, if it ever does, check out the following article about this other guy's experience. I'm not dealing with any major blockage.. just want that BBQ meat from summer of '93 to make it's way outta me before it gives me colon cancer or something. They say you should drink this stuff more than like twice a year. If the article is any indication.. I don't see how anyone could be compelled to hammer down this hemlock even twice in a life-time.. let alone twice in a year. Basically.. ever puked up green bile? Ok, it tastes like that.. but with a twist of lime added for 'flavor'.

I have some documents to type, things to do.. but I'll keep you posted.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

EnricoSuave, for your own well being, don't drink magnesium citrate often. It will cause your intestines to have a laxative dependency, and that is really NOT GOOD. If you're interested in cleaning out your intestine, go get a colonic or use one of the many colon cleansing programs you can purchase online.

Google colonix. I did that one for a month, pooped about 5 times a day while on it and felt like I'd thoroughly cleansed everything out by the time I was done.
I was going to do a day by day of it for everyone here, but got lazy.

westsan's picture

Refrigerate it BEFORE YOU DRINK IT!!

It makes it bearable.
I take it every 6 months or a year after fasting 24 hours. I take it right b4 I go to sleep. When I wake up I poo out a huge blast. It also will take lots of fluids from your intestine also it seems so get liquids quick.
That morning I eat celery and roughage only.

You will not poo for 2 days or so. Nor will you fart for weeks if you eat right (even if you eat bad you wont fart for 2 weeks min).

Its a miracle drug; hidden as J says.
Boy-O-Boy J, you shure do have a gem of a fiancee. That story is too funny.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

I'm interested in cleaning out all the stuff that gets left behind in my guts and kinda hangs around, but I'm very wary of what's out there and try to stay away from medicine outside of a low dose of ibuprofen. What's the best stuff to use?

Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

[Insert witty banter here]

Opiated & Constipated's picture

In my past, I was heavily addicted to street Drugs (morphine Sulphate primarily) and in the past year I have been on methadone. It causes me severe constipation as well as extremely painful pooping sessions. Sometimes I feel like I am passing small rocks that have a rigid texture.
I have tried lots of things to deal with this, including diet change, Fiber supplements, flaxseed oil... You name it, Ive tried it. The diet aspect helps quite a bit, but at times I stray from it and eat lots of sugary carbs.
I before I started these different techniques of combating my constipation my record length of time between movements was 3 weeks. I would get so bloated that I would look fat. By the second I really had to go, but out of pure fear I had been able to put it off for another week.
Anyways its been a while since Ive had any problems, untill recently. Just recently I have became very bloated and I can't seem to get it all out. Ive been taking fiber supplements(such as benefactor) religiously for a couple weeks now with little help.
I have been having BM's but I am constantly bloated. I took off work today from the discomfort and I am going to try taking this "MC" - cherry flavored. I know the pain is going to be agonizing, bot Oh' how I look forward to the feeling of being cleaned out.
I just fear that if I drink it now (1:30 p.m.) that it wont take effect untill 3:00 a.m. or something.
I will let you guys know how it goes.

Thanks for listening
any advice would be appreciated.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

*Caustic comment countermanded*.

B ART FART's picture

I have recently had a trouble or two of my own, one that I have time to share now. Others to follow.

I was experiencing some excrutiating pain in my back and went to the doctor who put me on some unbelievable painkillers. Well anyone who has been on any good pain medication will attest that you may become a little plugged up. Because of my uncontrollable desire to constantly eat, I kept shoving in the food. Brats, burgers, chili, corn, sunflower seeds, etc. After many attempts (grunts, hefty bombardments of my hemmorhoids forcing only themselves out) I made a trip to the pharmacist. Best suggestion...Mag Citrate. My flavor of choice was lemon lime. And chilling it made all the difference to me. My good friend suggested that and she was right. What's a few more hours to wait on the chill?

So when that fateful moment arrived, I was just so grateful that I let 'er flow. UNTIL the sunflower seeds came "flowing". You see, I don't discard the shells. I eat the whole thing. Well bloody stool, butt hole and all, that entire bag of sunflower seeds eventually presented themselves again.

Big hint...if you're not pooping regularly, for cripe pete, MONITOR YOUR INTAKE. Eventually you will get that blast from the past and she ain't pretty the second time around.

B ART FART's picture

Back again - my sister thought this worthy of my time, so here goes...

A couple of months ago, probably when jackhole was experiencing his difficulty excreting bodily functions and then rectifying the situation, I was making my routine sales calls. I had a tremendous lunch - the main ingredient being grease. Because after a good night prior of drinking excessive beer, the only good remedy is a good greazy burger and fries. Well, early in the morning, I had my morning constitutional, a perfect lunch and really felt much better about my hangover. Making my afternoon calls, which were located at various points around a very large city, was not going to be a problem.

Trying to make my first afternoon appointment, I started to feel the gurgling in my stomach, followed by severe chills and then heat. It certainly got my attention. Being on the freeway, I thought that I had damned well better exit. I generally look for a higher classed hotel to do any "poo business" because they tend to keep the restrooms at their highest level of cleanliness. I do support those public restrooms that offer the pull out sheets to ensure proper sanitation. But much to the detriment of my good ole irish luck, no hotels were at this exit.

Ok, second choice...nope we didn't have time for that- the escapee was violently knocking at my backdoor. Guess who got it was opened to - the fast food carrier of the Angus Burger. Yep, damned near didn't make it to the bathroom. Farting along the way, highly offending the customers, I made my way through the "restaurant" praying that no stalls were in use. I got my wish. One available, but you want to know WHY it was available? Piddle on the seat. Well no time to waste, I needed that porcelain god and I needed it now. So I straddled myself where I thought I was above the pot and let it fly. Wiped until clean, pulled up my pants and turned around to flush. Uh oh, needless to say I was not directly above the hole. I was more towards the back where the seat is attached and my greasy burger and excessive beers parked themselves between the seat and the tank.

I made my way out to the sink area, washed and dried my hands and watched as the poor young sanitation engineer made his way to clean. On my way out of the bathroom, all I heard was "OH my God!" I quickly made my way out the door and into my car.

I'm fairly certain that young man more than likely walked out of the bathroom, went to his manager, told him that there was a "problem" in the bathroom and while the manager went to investigate, the poor soul wrote down his resignation and told the establishment to keep his last pay check. they needed it more than he.

Doo-Doo Brown's picture

Small world. I'm in doo-doo labor and did a search on magnesium citrate and found this site. I'm sure the stories will be more funny after I give birth to this 8lb 6oz rock in my lower GI. I decided to take the path of least resistance with a Phillips stool softener first...I took the Mg Citrate back in '02, and it worked FAST, but I had a hard plug at the bottom which made the pain of evacuation unbearable. Everything behind the plug was rushing for the exit, but the rock of Gibraltar was not to be moved. So after a sleepless night, I picked up an arsenal for this battle: stool softener, mineral oil, and Mg Citrate (which will be used as a last resort). This is the price for not drinking enough water and not eating fruit and veggies evryday, which I usually do. The funny thing is, a few weeks ago I was in the Dominican Republic, and I couldn't stop going long enough to sleep! Wish me luck. -DDB-

Doo Doo Brown aka Fudgie's picture

Six hours later and no doo-doo. After reading other entries I took the advice of those that refrigerated the Mg Citrate. I am downing it now...all gone! My chaser is orange juice (directions said drink 8 oz of liquid). Well here goes. I need to be empty by 7pm to attend a party (so I can drink margaritas and eat Mexican food with lots of cheese...maybe not). Current time is 1:30pm.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Oooh! A live, play-by-play serial! I love that! Staying tuned.....
Fecal Matters.

Been there "poo" many times's picture

I've had to use Mag. Cit. several times - here's a tip from a Dr. - after you've waited the necessary and varied time it takes for the stuff to work (usually about 6 hours in my case) - use a saline enema as soon as you feel like you could poop - this should help break up the blockage at the pooping end and make the process less painful - "attack it from both ends" as the Dr. told me. Fleet saline enema: yes that means you have to squirt water into your butt and hold it as long as possible (1-5 minutes) but it's worth it - I always use the two remedies together and I have never experienced the pain with pooping like Jackhole and others did. Also, set aside some time when you use Mag. Cit - if you're like me, you'll be poopin for hours.

IVP Hater's picture

OK... so I am preparing to go in for an IVP. This is a test to check for kidney stones. I've been having a bit of pain in my lower right flank and the Urologist hit me with a bottle Mag-Cit... lime flavor.

His instructions were as follows:
1) take half the bottle in the morning.
2) take the other half at 5pm

Liquid diet only... no food.

I might as well be in a catholic church, as many times as i've had to get up outta my chair and beeline for the nearest porcelain. My friends, this is not timid stuff.

Luckily, my wife had half a jar of tucks left over from a recent baby delivery.


Grab yourself a BUCKET of tucks pads, some A & D ointment and commence to applicatin'.


Well, it's about 10pm and there's no sign of slowing down.

For those that are contemplating this Mag-Cit stuff, gods speed. WOW!

(on a side note, it appears that I am 5 lbs lighter and my insides feel completely liberated. my anus hates me.)

Smelley's picture

You all have me absolutely terrified to take this stuff (MC)! I am having surgery on Tuesday and my doctor told me to take it...Wish me luck! It looks like I am going to need that and a few prayers too!

Smelley's picture

Holy crap (pun intended), this stuff (MC) tastes like PUKE!!!!!!!! What a day I am going to have today!

Still blocked's picture

I have been bloated for many days and realized that I havent pooped for over a week. I took the MC at noon and it's now 11pm. At 6pm I took 2 laxatives to help speed the process along and STILL nothing!! I can hear my tummy grumbling but I don't feel any closer to the poop coming out! I am desperate for some relief! Can anyone offer any suggestions or advice? I don't want to keep piling on the meds but if that's the only way....

preppingfortubeupthebutt's picture

you people are all wimps! i just chugged down the red bottle like it was nothing.. and liked it! didn't taste too bad, kinda like cherry soda with a little salt added. you try drinking halflytely or the other nastiness. leaves a nasty nasty feeling in your mouth like you've just drunk a bunch of mucus. anyway still waiting for the thing to kick in, drank it about 25 minutes ago and i need it to work fast. feeling a little nauseous but i think that's due to the halflytely adventure last night where i ended up puking after i drank 3 cups (approx 20 ozs out of 64!). wimps, that's what i gotta say.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

You're a god.

Here2dayGonetoday's picture

Well, its 1037pm right now... and I took my MC in cherry flavor at 0730pm. I have went to the bathroom 7 times... no BS either... I heard it rumbling all through my stomach like 15 min after I took it... when I went the first time...which was 45 min after I took it, had enough time to finish an online exam; it was like polterguist.... I have never seen anything like it... then the rest of the time was particals that I dont even remeber eating within the past 2 weeks and a lot of liquid... And it didnt taste that bad either... It taste like sour patch kids in a bottle to me... So, I guess there are different stories for different bodies... I would talk longer, but I feel the tsunami hitting again....

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I take a liquid Magnesium supplement, and I can testify that too much Magnesium will clean you out very well.
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

 4 times the fun's picture

Here's one for ya! I just had MAJOR surgery because of poop!

I have had poopy problems my entire life. When I was a baby, my mom and grandma used a rubber spoon to dig the poop out of me. Off to a great start, hugh? I would go weeks without going. Over the years I have seen many many many gastro doctors and I have tried pretty much everything (high fiber diets, drinking gallons of water a day, stool softeners, laxatives, meditation, exercise). I got sick of "nothing working" so I stopped trying.

Now-a-days I go about every 3 or 4 days and it isn't much. Typical for women (I discuss poop with others often). 3 weeks ago I started having pain just below my belly button. It would come in waves and was excrutiating. I have had poop-movement pain before but never like this. After about an hour of screaming, my husband made me go to the emergency room.

They ran every test on me they could (x-ray, sonogram, CT scan) and decided, after 5 hours of listening to me scream, it was "probably" my appendix. They rushed me into surgery after explaining that these days they perform laproscopic surgery to remove organs and you go home the next day. Piece of cake! I was just about to argue the fact that I hadn't pooped in more than a week and I really felt that it was an intestinal blockage but they gave me the "I don't give a crap about anything shot" and next thing I knew I was in my recovery room.

Groggy-as-all-get-out (morphine drip gooooood) I overheard the nurses talking about the unfortunate fact that the doctor couldn't find my appendix so he had to "make a bigger incision". I decided to investigate my abdomen. It was still distended from the surgery, but I could clearly see that my bikini days were over. I had a 4 inch incision from my navel straight down. The doctor visited me the next day to "apologize" for the longer incision (shouldn't he have looked at the CT scan before going in? men and asking for directions). He also wanted to tell me that my bowel is long enough for 4 people and that my poop must make "several sharp turns before exiting". So my poop has to travel 4 times farther than other people's. New Olympic sport-Obstical Course Pooping.

I was released after 3 days and sent home to heal, with the warning that the pain medicine I was taking might cause constipation. Yeah, thanks.

Fast forward to my one week, post-surgery check-up. The doctor comes in and tells me he has good news and bad news. Ok, let's hear it. Bad news-the pathology report came back on my appendix. It was completely healthy. Good news-and I quote-"It will never have to come out again!" Aheh.

He then begins to tell me that because my bowel system was full from beginning to end, he was pretty sure that I was suffering from an intestinal blockage. No sh*# Shirlock.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

That sound awful 4x the fun. This is why I never go to doctors. Half the time, they don't know what the hell they are doing.

They did a totally unneeded operation on you, you now have a scar for life, and the problem was never solved.

That is terrible. I have never heard of an extra long bowel.

I don't know if Magnesium Citrate would be any benefit to you.

Motherload should read this thread.
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

PrincessPOOP's picture

I love this site! But i wish I read it before drinking a 1/2 a bottle of lemon mag citrate! I had no idea it was so harsh. I'm not blocked up...I just wanted to clean myself out. Thought I could lose 5 lbs before seeing an ex boyfriend tomorrow. I just hope I am not up all night pooping! ugghh...I feel like a ticking time bomb. Do you think I will be ok since I only drank half?

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

I certainly doubt you'll be ok PrincessPoop, in fact I'm praying you won't for the sake of a good story. My guess is you will meet your paramour tomorrow. He'll be awestruck by your beauty and grace and how svelte you look. As he hugs you so tightly to him and whispers in your ear "Oh darling, how could I have let you get away from me, you are the Queen to my King, the very essence of my yearning". With that he will let go of you and push you back and ask you to give him a spin so he can see all of you, as you turn ever so coquettishly the gurgling in your bowels reaches a crescendo and you drop a load right then and there. He'll look you in the eye as you scamper off to the ladies room and say "you haven't changed a bit!"

4 times the fun's picture

Hey PrincessPoop! How did the date go? Did the 1/2 bottle affect you? I drank 1/4 of the bottle the other day and nothing happened. Of course, I am always "full of it". I am thinking of drinking 1/2 the bottle Saturday night so that I will hopefully "clean out" by Monday. I hope to get out last year's Thanksgiving meal before I eat this year's. I'm not kidding.

My Bum Hurts's picture

This site is too cool! I certainly feel for you jackhole. I am in a similar situation but for different reasons of course. I had a baby one month ago today. A week after I had him, I finally felt the urge to poo after not having gone for over a week. When I sat down to go, a few rock-like pieces came out but what followed was the hardest most painful thing I have ever felt next to childbirth. I was in such agony I thought for sure the dr. who delivered my baby stitched up my bung hole when he stitched up the rest of me. I ended up in the emergency room at midnight that night and the E.R. doc gave me a bottle of MC and told me to go the drugstore and get a dual-pack of enemas. I asked if there was anything else he could do and he got this creepy grin and said "Aside from trying to dig it out manually no, and I'm pretty sure you don't want that". I ended up doing one of the enemas, which hurt like hell (saline solution enemas don't feel good on week-old stitches and hemorrhoids). I took some ex-lax instead of the MC and got lucky with it. I stored the MC in my refrigerator for "in case" purposes. I was taking ex-lax every 2-3 days after that then switched to a stool softener capsule to try to keep from becoming dependent on laxatives for every bowel movement. Big mistake. Now I am back in the same position as I was a few weeks ago. I decided to go ahead and take the MC this afternoon around 3 because the bottle said it was supposed to work in 30 min. to 6 hours and I needed to get un-plugged in a hurry. My husband was supposed to go out of town for the weekend deer hunting and I asked him to stick around to help me with the baby while I was working on my "problem". I took the MC at 3pm. It is now inching toward 9pm and not a squattin' thing has happened. I came across this site a couple hours ago and now I am scared to death for what lies ahead. At least this time I don't have the pain of my stitches to worry about.

Gurgle Belly's picture

Thanks to anitbiotics and pain killers, I have been blocked for a few days. Ironicly, the meds were for a prostate infection and the pressure from the poop just made the pain worse.

7 p.m. - Last night

Downed a new flavor, Grape, of MC in two gulps. I have had MC a few times before and I highly recomend the grape. The lemon-lime was tolerable, but I can't stand anything cherry flavored. Getting the MC down has never been that bad. However, I have never been able to chase it with another 6-8oz of liquid.

I think I can give you a very close idea of the taste.

1. Get one of those cheap pop sicles. The ones in the plastic tubes that come in boxes of 1000 for $2. Grape, Cherry and Lemon-Lime..they will be there. If its frozen, let it melt.

2. Add as much salt as you can get disolved. Epson Salt is even better because it is basicly the same thing as MC.

Don't swollow the stuff. Its not toxic, but I do not know what the recomended dosage of Epson Salt is.

7 a.m. - Today - Thanksgiving

I have been peeing out my ass since 7:30, almost a 12 hour merathon. My ass is so raw I may need a skin-graft. I know I am not empty just yet. I may have another hour or 2 to go (again, I have done this a few times before).

Now, here is my trick to turn off the water-works after I feel the job is done. I quarter an Amodium and take 1 piece once an hour. Usualy I don't have to take more than 2 pieces (half an Amodium)befor...uhh-ooh....just a min...

Back. Anywho, that usualy gets me back to normal without plugging me back up. Now where did I put that damn Amodium...

Mom of pooper's picture

My son is drinking his 1 of 2 lemon and cherry concotion. He is due for surgery Tuesday (kidney, bladder) They are using parts of his intestines to patch the bladder. he keeps saying his lips are on fire when he drinks this? iam so not tasting it for him. Is it the salt ya think?
Hes not drinking so fast. But he has a way to go. He also has to go to the hospital tomorow early am to get a gallon of Go lightly pumped into his stomache by way of ng tube. Wish us luck

Mom of pooper's picture

Nope he puked now what???? sheesh

Proudpooper22's picture

well i got my tonsils out 12 days ago, and if that wasn't enough pain I haven't gone poo in 12 dAAYS becasue of all the pain medication they give adult tonsil victims. i have been taking ex lax, women's laxatives, all that stuff that usually works for me like no problem...except it hasn't even produced one terd in 2 weeks. so I bought the lemon MC at CVS and took it a half hour ago. I'm a grad student and have class at 6 pm so this better be over with soon!ahhh i'm getting nervous, this stuff doesn't give u hemorroids does it?

Bekka's picture

I have to have surgery tomorrow, and my doctor told me that starting at 2:00 i was to drink 2 bottles of magnesium citrate. thats right, not 1/2..not 1..but 2 bottles. I got the lemon flavor, seeing that was the other flavor they had left at wal-mart. Didnt have a chance to drink it until 4:00. So, i gulped down the first bottle, nothin happened for a while. Then boom like half an hour later I'm literally squirting out black juice, really appealing. I took a shower, feeling gross, and Gulped down the 2nd one. by that time i was literally holding my nose and trying to keep my heartburn down. Now here i am, at midnight, STILL pooping. my anus is burning, and its rubbed raw, and i swear its dripping blood. Im miserable, and tired, and I still have surgery tomorrow. Why, oh why, did i have to drink 2 bottles?

Katherine's picture

Thank you so much for your story. It made me laugh out loud for a long time uncontrollably!!! My almost 2 year old baby holds her stool and has recently been diagnosed to have a "elongated, redundant colon." She gets so constipated without medicine (holds for over 2 weeks) and can hold her stool for over a week on meds when I give her twice daily milk of magnesia...they just wanted me to give her this magnesium citrate before an x-ray...and I came across your story....I guess she and I are in for it...because just on the magnesia alone we get explosive poops all over the place dripping down her legs...I have had to throw away pants before because it just was too much to even think about washing. Most of the time I just rush her to the shower and spray her down. You are so awesome to share this story because it took the tension off my day ... I stress so much about my daughter's bowels and it was good to have some humor about it. Thanks.

hodgedogg's picture

well, I have been a little blocked up for about a week now, and my nurse told me that I should get ahold of this stuff, a book, and a lot of charmin. I was really nervous about taking the whole bottle, but I figured it couldn't be all that bad. Then I found this forum. I'm scared as can be now. it's been about 30 minutes so far and I feel like a walking time bomb.... Thanks all!!!

Serendipity's picture

Last night I drank down a bottle of magnesium citrate per my doctor's orders. I also had the pleasure of inserting a suppository. For some reason the suppository had a POINTED tip. Because shoving something up my ass isn't bad enough, it has to be sharp and pointy.

He actual wants me to do both of these things three days in a row to clean me out, but that is so not going to happen. So far my experience hasn't been nearly as violent as anyone here. The magnesium citrate tasted very sour, but wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I offered some to my husband, but he politely declined.

I started sometime around 6pm and right now it's 8am and I'm still making frequent trips to the bathroom. I haven't had too many issues with cramping, I suppose the suppository and drinking plenty of fluids helped with that. The only downside, aside from a burning bottom, is that I felt rather naseaus afterwards. I did feel better after eating something simple, like crackers.

Crapping that much is also rather exhausting. I can't imagine doing the same thing for three days in a row. I don't have that much free time. Even if I did I wouldn't want to spend it in the bathroom.

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