MB3: Personal Care For Your Derriere

// // 19 Comments
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A few months ago I happened to see a front page comment written by someone who called himself Personal Hygiene Man. He had read a review I’d done on Ahh Toilet Foam and wanted to know if I was interested in reviewing his product as well. I sent him my contact information, and a few days later I received a few bottles of MB3 Personal Hygiene lotion. Mr. Personal Hygiene Man, whose real name I now knew was Stephen Markham, told me that he was fairly sure I would find his product more efficient than Aah Foam.

MB3 Personal Hygiene lotion comes in a little 20 ml. bottle, so it’s small enough to put in my purse or pocket. It looks like it could be a bottle of eye drops, in fact. The ingredients are fairly non-threatening; they range from lanolin and cocoa butter to a few scientific mouthfuls, such as Dehydroacetic acid, a basic anti-fungal and anti-bacterial agent. There are no waxes, formaldehydes, fragrances, or coloring agents listed. Well, I figured, it looks harmless enough to swab around Down There, so I put the bottle in our bathroom and waited for Mr. Brown to come a'knockin' at my back door.

A few hours later, it was time to try the MB3 out. The information Stephen sent along suggested that MB3 is to be used for the last wipes as a finishing product. I cleaned up what I could with normal toilet paper, and then I put a drop of the MB3 on the toilet paper and, well, finished.

Not bad, I though. The lotion felt kind of soothing, and sure enough, it did finish up. The lotion loosened a little yuck that I’d left behind. But, did it clean any better than if I had moistened some toilet paper with water? I think so. My panty pucker felt downright refreshed and clean! I’ll be.

The ingredients in MB3 were well thought out. They are mostly moisturizers, emulsifiers, and skin softeners set in a water base and laced with some very basic anti-bacterial agents. The lotion was neither greasy nor stinky, but that was not what I found the most notable about it. It was when I rubbed a dab on the back of my hand, and found that it covered the entire surface, that I understood what made MB3 so great of a product. Not only did that one dab cover the back of my hand, but it softened it as well. Five minutes later, I ran my fingers over where I’d spread the lotion, and the skin felt soft and smooth. This must have been how my butt felt.

I think the fact that MB3 has anti-bacterial agents in it sets it apart from the other butt products. Not only was I wiping off leftover poo, but I was also sanitizing the Ground Zero that it had sullied. What a fantastic product to have in your pocket or purse should you end up taking a huge crap while away from home. You wouldn’t have to worry about stinking for the rest of day, because any smelly agent on your backside would be deactivated.

MB3 looks a bit pricey for the size of the bottle, but a little does go a long way. I’ve had a bottle in my purse for two months now, and it's still over two thirds full. And Stephen was right; it does work better than Aah Foam. While the foam mostly spread the mess on my butt around, MB3 did not. Instead, it both cleaned my skin and created a sterile, soothing, protective barrier between it and the scratchy scratch of industrial toilet paper that has disgraced my butt on many an outing.

I give this product two enthusiastic brown thumbs up and recommend to all of my PoopReporter friends. If you travel, especially, you should consider picking up a bottle or two. I promise that you won't be disappointed.

19 Comments on "MB3: Personal Care For Your Derriere"

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Thanks, daphne. I usually use Balneol which is also pricey. But the bottle is a little big for the purse or pocket. I think I shall purchase a bottle of MB3 for my purse to try.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Personal Hygiene Man's picture
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Daphne,
I'm speechless! Fortunately though, my fingers still work and I can type!
Thank you for the AWESOME review of our MB3 Personal Hygiene product!!!
I can't thank you enough, but I'll get started now, thank you, thank you, thank you, ...
Stephen Markham

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Ok, a product that I have never considered prior to this posting. Now, I will investigate further.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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"Panty pucker"?Um...wait...maybe I just don't want to know...the brain pictures of Daphne with granny panties wedged up her crack are more than disturbing enough.

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"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
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Harumph. It's my tush hole, and I'll call it what I want to call it.

Stephen should also be acknowledged for putting up with my procrastination. I was supposed to post this review last week, but I forgot. Thanks for being so patient, Stephen, and keep making your miracle wipe in a bottle. I think it's darned good stuff.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I thought it was taking so long because you were doing the whole "butt mudd" to diarrhea, to "period poo" again. Although... A story that fantastic (Ahh toilet foam) is a tough act to follow.

MSG's picture
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I, too, have Balneol in the bathroom and use it when other measures have left incomplete cleaning (I still use Noxzema or store brand equivalent on the last wipe). MB3 sounds good, though, so after Balneol runs out, I can get some of the new stuff. My question: Must I order from the website, or will this appear in my local CVS sometime soon?

Personal Hygiene Man's picture
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MSG,
MB3 is only available at this time through the web site. Simplicity and we are just a start up looking to grow.
CVS actually has their own version of the Balneol, same bottle, and two added ingredients.
I have eliminated as many of the more controversial ingredients in those products, and you'd be amazed at some of the ingredients that are in the wipes to keep them from "growing hair" in their tub!
I appreciate your support and willingness to try the product, and hope you'll tell your friends, or order them a bottle and "gift" them!
Personal care for your derriere, don't leave home with out it!!!
Happy wiping!
Steve Markham

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I have no pet name for my tush hole, I just describe it as where my ass goes together like a tobacco sack, just imagine the pucker that the drawstrings make. I remember when these bags sold for 5¢.


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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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So Chief... Ever wonder how many bags of Bull Durham were bought, just for the excuse of buying Zig-Zags at the same time?

Thedungrunner's picture
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Sounds good but I think I'll stick to my usual method, using pampers brand wipes non scented with aloe. 7 dollars for a 3 bundle pack Wichita has over 100 wipes per bundle. Works great for my ass cheeks I love them since Howard stern mentioned this on the radio 10 years ago I've been using these for the final wipe or two thanks.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Great question Squat ... I was a purist back in my hippie days and would never use anything other than OCB original papers, because they had no glue and we earth children considered glue as distracting from the great taste of good pot.

I would also have recommended drawing and quartering for any asshole who did not remove the seeds from his/her weed before rolling.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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C'mon Chief! The snappity crackle of exploding seeds always made me hungry for popcorn.

The Dapper Crapper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Thanks for the recommended product. This will hopefully make pooping at work more pleasant. The toilet paper is awful, but there is nothing like shitting while on the clock. This product has the potential to make life perfect.


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the dapper crapper – shitting in style.

the dapper crapper – shitting in style.

Personal Hygiene Man's picture
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Dapper Crapper,
Thanks for the positive comments! Appreciated!
Common sense dictated that these work and social "happenings" would persist through out civilization, over and over again.
Is there much worse than taking your daily shower, and all of a sudden having to leave a fecal deployment soon after?
The bain of many a woman and man, I'm sure!
If you rely on wipes, have you ever run out of your traveling stash when away from the safety of the home storage tub? It is an uncomfortable situation, as I was that guy not too long ago.
MB3 will tame the most heinous toilet paper, butt, we still question the one ply ourselves, with out doubling up on it!
I plan on testing maple, oak leaves and such for the camping segment of consumers, and maybe a corn husk from the farmer/gardening segment.
Any idea's out there?
Thedungrunner mentioned Howard Stern, who was also a pivital influence in my earlier decision to pursue a better method of anal hygiene, from waaaay back.
Any of you have an "in" with him or his posse that I could get him a few samples to possibly try? That would be huge!
We are very much in gorilla marketing mode, and any and all help in getting the word out is
totally appreciated!
Stephen Colbert would be another good target, eh?!
Shameless gorilla marketing is now the mission...

Orinchmoon's picture
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Interesting read... I think ill give it a try.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Dear Orinchmoon ... As you have certainly read PR is devoted to the "intellectual" appreciation of poop humor. Did you mean I'll give it a try in your post? or are you sick (ill)? This site is patrolled by grammar Nazis so please be careful in your future posts, and, welcome to PR.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Here Orinchmoon, take these ('''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''') and tell the grammar nazi to stick them where the sun don't shine. That'll keep him quiet for a while.

Anonymous's picture
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I think it's great that you have this as your alter ego outlet. Sometimes it's just so much easier to write things down and be open with people that you know are going through the same thing if not similar things as you are. It's nice to have other mommies to share the sleepless nights with and the fact that you love a good poop....cuz I totally do to...especially since I was constipated for pretty much my whole pregnancy. It was amazing to have regular poops after Mia was born!!! See...people totally relate!!! Keep being open!!!