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 Nope, It's Soap: Negative, It's A Cleaning ProductPosted 12.04.2006 by SamDamnit (1191)
When I first saw Nope, It's Soap! advertised on the Internets, I figured I had to finagle a free sample. So I wrote to them and told them I was a reporter doing a story on them, and asked them for some product to inspect. I was pleasantly surprised to receive some very
 realistic-looking poop in the mail. It even smelled pretty good -- like cappuccino, to be specific. (Mary Mary insists that it smells a little like poop, but I think that is because she assumed it was such when she found it sitting on the rim of our sink.)
Having received the pro-dook-t, I figured I should go ahead and actually do the story. I learned from doing an earlier story about the poop-scooping business that it is best to give the entre-poo-neurs some voice in the story -- in this case, Seattle-based Randy Parten and Jacqueline Hanberg, who hand-roll the poop soap themselves. As a rule, people in the poop business have a great sense of humor. I am never disappointed when I read their answers to my queries.
Nope, It's Soap: It was an "accident." Jackie was making girly lavender soap for holiday gifts (like girls do). Randy thought of a way to make it weird (like boys do) and proposed soap that looked like doodie. Jackie, being scatologically-minded, got to work on the perfect poo recipe; and Nope, It's Soap! was born.
We used to make poop in our house; the odor produced from making our poop is wonderful. When demand became too great, we had to ask other people to come to our house and make poop with us; but eventually we simply couldn't make enough poop in our house and had to move production to a dedicated facility.
We used to make only a few piles at a time, but now many of us get together and make hundreds of piles in a sitting.
1. Abrupt silence.
Nope, It's Soap was born just before Christmas. For its debut, we put a pile on the floor at Randy's parents' house. His sister assumed it belonged to her dog and VERY discreetly picked it up and tried to throw it away. We had to stop her at the trashcan. Watching her wrestle with her cognitive dissonance as we explained to her that the poo in her hand was actually soap made us realize that we had to share our poo with the world.
Favorite artistic instruments as children (in order of relevance):
No. But if we had, we wouldn't tell you. To avoid this likely possibility, we recommend against combining real dogs, Nope, It's Soap, and large amounts of alcohol.
We merely supply the vehicle and the impetus for such puns. However, one of our "pile-formers" recently suggested that showing up for "doodie" every day puts him at risk for "Crappal Tunnel Syndrome."
We try not to have doodie on us when we board a plane.
"Yes, it is Not Dog Doo" and "This is Soap That Looks Like Dog Poop,"
Not really -- we're pretty private about our "business."
Those are good ideas. We've got some of our own that will debut in mid-April. New incarnations will be available at nopeitssoap.com. I know what you are all thinking: "SamDamnit already used the "reporter" scam to get a free sample. So how do I get mine?" Fear not, fellow PoopReporters. If you purchase a pile of poop soap, take a picture of it in a creative manner (like in front of a landmark) and send it to Randy and Jackie, they'll send you a second batch for free. Post new comment
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