I took a big crap on the highway last week. Looked just like that picture but without the water-heater.

Mmmmm.....chocolate pie filling.

Woah!!! That is some nasty shit! Something similar happened back in 99 when Hurricane Floyd came thru Jersey (when I lived in Jersey). The place I worked at was right next to a canal and the canal overflowed and filled the septic. All it took was one flush of the toilet and the canal literally wound up IN the building! My boss (who was very squeamish about anything) was trying to clean up when I got to work that morning. He had puked on top of the mess already and told me not to come in the hallway by the bathrooms. Curiousity got the best of me and I had to look. I've got an iron stomach and can take a lot. He stood there shivering in the squalor and looked so scared and desperate. I took the mop from him, told him to go in my office and get some paper and a marker and tape and post signs telling the rest of the crew to keep out while I mopped it all up. He was so impressed (maybe that's why I scored a big raise that year!) and relieved that he didn't have to clean that mess up himself. I think they relocated the sewer after that incident.

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Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

This reminded me of something horrible that happened to me about 5 years ago.

One night just before Christmas, I was awakened from a deep sleep by the sound of running water. Not like a faucet running, but more like the sound of a peaceful, babbling brook.

I was not completely awake and had not yet come to the realization that anything was wrong with the fact that I was hearing this sound, but was aware of the need to get up and go pee. So I got out of bed.

About 3 steps outside my bedroom door is when I really woke up. As my foot came down on to the usually soft, warm carpet, the spaces between my toes were penetrated by a slimy subtance and I found myself standing in ankle-deep, cold water. Even then, I did not realize what was happening.

I flipped on the bathroom light, and to my horror saw the bathtub filled to the top with the nastiest brown, scummy liquid that I had ever seen.

There were little chunks of poo, squiggles of mostly dissolved TP, and some sort of foamy substance floating through the murky water.

The lid on the toilet was down, but more of the same nasty stuff was spilling out from under it, slightly lifting the lid with each spurt. Boiling pots are supposed to be on the stove top, not in my bathroom. Something was very wrong.

Normally, when the toilet is overflowing you can turn off the valve to stop the water from coming up any further. If the bathtub gets full, you turn off the faucet. None of this was going to work for me. There was no water running in the tub, nor the toilet. It was coming from below. Hell had opened up and was spewing itself into my home.

The smell that was coming from this mess was absolutely putrid. It was like rotten eggs and dirty diapers soaking in a mixture of Herbal Essence shampoo and amonia.

I made the call to the emergency after-hours number for the maintenance tech, and moved as much stuff as I could away from the shit-infested flood waters.

Needless to say, it took quite a bit of time and work to clean up this entire mess. The cause of the disaster was due to a blockage in the main sewer line.

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Always looking out for number two!

Why do horrid things happen around Christmas? One frigid Christmas Eve (it was 5 below) the pipes in my parents house broke and filled the entire crawl space under the house with water. We don't have basements in Texas and a lot of the older houses are pear and beam foundations. My dad had to crawl around in the frozen muck to find and fix the broken pipe. He hates plumbers, but realized why they charge so much.

Holy Crappoli! That is a nightmare. Admittedly, it does look like a big mocha macadamia cookie, out of context. I am going to have to put this image on the Poop Reporter's Lounge
Don't worry. I won't hot link it.

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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

one of these days, i will have to start submitting stories to this wonderful site...

the picture included here brings back quite a few memories. if you have never seen the boiler room of a 30 unit apartment building after a sewer main blockage of at least 2 weeks, well, you simply have not lived my friends.

or maybe i'll tell the one about the garden level unit that had the 3 units above backing up into it for a month while the tenant was out of town.

perhaps the crazy bugger whose toilet had been clogged for a week, yet he kept using it.

there have been so many... and me without a camera.

I can't see the picture. I'm going to try it in Mozilla instead.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I did not know you could have firefox and IE open at the same time! I saw it fine on firefox.

Wonder why I couldn't see it on IE. I am beginning to hate IE.

Oooo, gnarly.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Like I said before, Internet Explorer needs to be taken out back and shot. Please use Firefox!

I saw the image, and I just wonder how that much poop could come from one person at one time...

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Dammit!

Wasn't that a creature on Star Trek?

I'm a doctor, not a plumber Jim!

IE just plain sucks... Firefox rocks. But anyway to the story, I've never actually had anything like this happen, which I am greatful for... but my parents had a sewer line break in the upstairs bathroom of their house and it flooded the floor below (can't remember anymore what room was under that bathroom) and it was suck a stinky, disgusting mess (gag), needless to say I helped them clean it all up.

such... should check before hitting post! lol

So I can picture Larry, Darryl and his other brother Darryl pumping water down the drain watching as the poopoo-mache filled the cellar.

This was worthy of the Discovery Channel TV show, "Dirty Jobs"

I would suggest lower your fibre intake.

Teri, I'm glad the mess was cleaned up and you didn't have to foot the bill. My landlord would've found a way to blame it on us so as not to pay it all himself.

Motherload - "Something was very wrong." You have a talent for understatement!

IE sucks, firefox is cool, but Safari takes the cake.
I remember once as a child that the sewer backed up at my parents house. I was really young (6ish) but I still remember the horrible smell.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

The landlord could say it was your fault for using too much toilet paper. He'll install a "only One" dispenser that issues those old 4 inch squares, half ply we had in grade school.

Luckily the stooges didn't set the pump on auto and head outside for a butt. How much poop would pile up with a 15 minute unattended hosing.

What a way to spend a Sunday night litterally shoveling the sh*t.

What the hell did you eat!!

This is another reason for my waste water system. Nothing can back up, ever.

WOW Terry, looks like your toilet got the upper hand that time.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

Motherload, you should have submitted that story. That's horrible. I certainly feel for both you and Teddy.

In March, my septic pipe clogged and we had to get the plumber out here to clean it out. He said that the plumbing under the house was done cheaply and quickly and that there were lots of places for junk to collect. We thanked him and went about our business, planning to get the plumbing re-done in June.

In mid-May, the plumbing got slow again. I plunged the toilet whenever it clogged, hoping to shove it down into the septic system (we have a small system). The problem was, that when I plunged the toilet, water glooped up the bathtub, sink, kitchen sink, and other bathroom sinks, tubs, and toilets. If it wasn't full of piss, shit, and used TP it would have been kind of cool. You could hear pipes all over the house bubbling in various tones of the plumbing symphony.

Anyway, one night I was in a particularly bad mood and didn't want to deal with the fucking plumbing. Mom had just done the dishes and I had the bad taste of having diarrhea. I flushed the toilet and it rose to the top of the bowl and stopped.

Grumbling, I plunged the toilet until I saw a brownish-orange crust rising from the bathtub drain. This had never happened before. In the past it was only chunks of toilet paper in the bathtub. Cursing, I decided to shove the brown crust back down the pipe. Big mistake!!!

Anyone who has studied volcanology knows that plugs hold back tremendous pressure in a magma chamber. I, for one, should have remembered my school before jamming that plunger down on that encrusted lava dome. An explosion of Mount Saint Helensesque proportions resulted, showing me in shit, piss, toilet paper, and various bits of things that had gone down the sink drains.

Screaming like a banshee, I exploded from the house in the middle of the night and dived into an inflatable wading pool in the front yard. A trail of filthy clothes marked my path as I had been ripping them from my body as I ran. (Thank God we live out in the country!)

"Bring the soap! Bring the soap!" I screamed to Gilbert and Mom. Every inch of my germophobic body had to be washed.

Needless to say, the plumber came early and spent the next two days fixing our pipes. It turned out that some idiotic asshole had put a T-junction at the base of the pipes to connect both ends of the house, rather than a Y-juntion, which would have allowed the stuff to flow easily into the septic tank. It's fixed now and we haven't had problems since. Still, I shudder at the thought of that spring night.

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I had that happen once too. Except I used a snake. the first thing I did was call roto rooter. THey got out there and ran an electric snake thru the main pipe from the outside cleanout. It got stuck. They pulled it out. He says, have you had any digging around here? I said yeah, they put the gas line in 5 months ago with a directional drill (those thigs made by vermeer and ditch witch). He says call the gas company. They come out and also run an electric snake. THey smell gas and we have to evacuate so the Fire Department can come. We found out that it was good that both snakes got pulled out when they did, or there could have been a gas explosion. Why? (Im sure you guessed allready) Some idiot drilled the gas line straight through the sewer pipe.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

A T jucnction TSV? Whowver instaled that septic system should be taken out and shot, they are NEVER supposed to use a T junction.

When I instaled my wastewater recycling system. I used a Y junction to connect all of the drain pipes to the master pipe (the one that takes everything outside). I can't believe that someone would use a T pipe.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

It's 3;15 am and I was looking for plumbing info to help with the toilet hose that keeps flipping out after so many flushes. I think its called "toilet roulette". Anyway, I stumbled onto this website with an attitude and quickly forgot that I had any problem at all. I have to give up for now but thank you for the attitude adjustment...I havent laughed that hard for a long time! Ill be back!

That does it, I'm never eating beef burritos again.

This is not the first or probably the last time I'll be up to the top off my socks in piss water, with unknown amounts of chemicals, usually a main line after a quick snake, of the front and back outside cleanout, start at the kitchen sink and go 50 ft, well past the street. This time it's not the mainline, so far I've learned about the golf ball sized in the center and pieces 6 to 8 inches long in loops of polystyrene 25 lb test fishing line that has been in my waste pipe for an unknown period. We usually do mainlline every 3 months and a root kill treatment between, more as a just in case, here in the desest where anything will grow, I usually see the local farmer getting 3 crops a year. Our trees are the same, they find their own water supply after a certain time, that little area you have with the burried drip line, it says you've got to be killing me! I got ground water sucker, see you when it's time to keep the city happy~! But in the past 2 years my Father in law had a couple majot strokes, was out and it took 8 or 9 times to jolt him back, if not for my Mother in law's OCD, they wouldn't keep shocking because anything after 5 they expect major brain loss, they gave him less then a 10% chance and the Dr's were rude and considered wasting time to tell us was futile. What they saw as dimentia, was him putting hia entire life back in order, he was fighting going to bed, first they give him the new sleep med on TV, but can I remember now, no. Anyway on the TV, AMBIEN damnit!, it says not to take it unless you can have uninterupted sleep, in a hospital? No way, when he wouldn't go down they would sedate him and put him days or weeks behind where he was. I asked to be called first and told them I'll be there in 10 to 25 minutes and in 15 minutes I'd have him straight. With my wife there, I gave him an order like I was an Army Captain, and it was for total weekend R&R and he was not to get out of that bed unless asked. He started to question, SOLDIER! You will follow orders, correct? Yes Sir! And in to bed he went. I knew by where he was as far as putting his life in order, and he was an Army man for most of his life, the Army or whatever never leaves the man. I tolf the head nurse, but they chose to stick with crazy. No surprize, a patient out cold is easier, you fill in the rest. A few minutes later while talking to his daughter, who he kept saying your sure old for your age? I had to deal with those, even if it was her father! But he said "I don't know about that damn hippy Captain!" Are you going to follow his orders? I have to. Mission accomplished. They only called me one other time and he was to the point where he knew me. after some heated words and not backing down, he finally got in bed, put his ass to me and layed in bed, 30 minutes later the only words he said was "Your lucky your famlily!" Haha!
He walked out of that Hospital, but months later his kidneys started to shut down, so he had one dialysis when he passed out, the Hospital that had him for 2 months and knew his condition said we're full. They take him to their smaller stepchild sister hospital, where some Einstein Dr stopped all his meds, after he was told they just stopped his blood thinners to go to dialysis, but he stopped them all. Things for his new pacemaker, different blood thinner, a handful. While he was under "observation" he was passed out from a stroke on the floor sometime from 11:30 PM to 4:30 AM, when they were there to get blood from his room partner. He left there totally paralyzed on his left side, but still able to walk short distances with nothing by using the muscles in his shoulder and hip from his good side, and walk the rest with a walker, just slow and not too far, amazing recovery. While in rehab, he looked me in the eyes and said "You've been going through this for years haven't you?" To an extent I said yes, since I've been disabled with far too many things to mention. No amount of medication can stop my pain, all I can do to not contintue to get worse is to stay active with a body slowly rotting beneath me. But on I press, and yes I had to concede to my illnesses and have been legally disabled since 1995. There are things I can do, more things I can't and everything has a price. Always delayed, making knowing what's too much, mostly just pushing through.
At 52 I don't have much time before all my bones are crushed, and immobile, but I'll be kicking and screaming along as long as humanly, not humanely, I reached that a long time ago, I refuse to stop till I literally fall down, but I do know when I need to park it, and it's several times a day and every form of therapy and torture imagineable.

Now it's finding where the rest is hiding, I've pulled also a tennis ball sized collection of material, string, and amazingly strong fuzz. Sometime I will get that sucker stuck and hear that happy blub, blub blub!

Also my son lost his keecap to a flesh eating staph infection and was screwed by a lawyer whose vanished, and my Mother in law is terminal 2 to 4 months, may be 6. So stress is here 24/7 along with the roof that needs addressing, a swamp cooler and at my pace, who knows. But I refuse to surrender just yet! I've fought this sucker for 17 years and I'm undefeated, and plan to stay that way.

Crap awaits me,
Tarkn10

I was reduced to tears when I saw the picture. What a lovely composition. The different colors of crap added an element of excitement not seen in the typical poopscape. It was truly wonderful how the darker dookie had formed a border around the "coffee with cream" color of the fecal center.

The water heater was necessary to the composition in that it provided a sense of "place" to the picture. There was no doubt in my mind that this "creation" was in someone's basement. The water heater stood, in my mind, as a well placed monument to turdly beauty.

I have always been fond of earth tones. This composition abounded with rich browns and other neutral colors with just enough white in the chunks of toilet paper to prevent any boredom in the viewer.

The only fecal artwork I have seen that surpassed this picture in beauty was sculptural in nature. My wife was away and I was in charge of the cat's litter box. I soon found that rather than digging the little nuggets out I could merely sprinkle them with baking soda. This effectively eliminated most of the foul aroma and created a scene not unlike a snowcapped mountain range. Yes----shit happens, and can be beautiful.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!