Poo-Pourri: Can Your Poop Really Not Stink?
A few months ago, the makers of a new bathroom spray called Poo-Pourri decided to see if their product was up to the standards of we true bathroom connoisseurs. "Unlike other sprays that you spray after you poop in a frantic bid to freshen the air before somebody else feels the call of nature," the product's manufacturer says on their site, "you spray this all-natural spray into the toilet before you go. It eliminates that stinky odor that everyone is always so embarrassed about, instead leaving a fresh, citrus scent -- much more pleasant!"
Both DungDaddy and I received samples. I was sent *four cases* of the stuff, which I passed around to friends and family. I also introduced it to my (now former) workplace, and sent out several more as Christmas gifts. But before I impart my thoughts, here's what DungDaddy has to say:
Poo-Pourri works on many levels. My family and I tried it in both bathrooms. As prescribed, three or four squirts on the surface of the water before pooping reduces the perceived stink.
I believe the product works in two ways: through its intensely fresh scent, and through the oils coagulating on the surface of the water to encapsulate fugitive stink particles. (Editor's note: Poo-Pourri's website upholds this speculation: "The essential oil proprietary formula creates a film on the toilet water surface, effectively trapping embarrassing odors. Flushing releases the odor neutralizing formula into the air, leaving the bathroom citrus fresh!")
I gave Poo-Pourri three tests outside of normal use.
- I gave a bottle to a friend to use in his camp trailer for the weekend. Three people used the toilet for two days in very close quarters, and all were surprised by Poo-Pourri's efficacy.
And the results were good. Even though my loaf breeched the surface of the water in two places, the Poo-Pourri held tight and diminished the smell. There was some stink, but I imagine it was lessened.
Even at this high concentration, there was only slight irritation, if any. When diluted by toilet water, there is no reason to believe that Poo-Pourri splashback would cause any discomfort. Final judgment: Two thumbs up.
My own experience was equally positive -- with one very major exception, which I will share with you now.
The office I was working in at the time has a plant dude. Yep, the publishers pay for some guy to come in and water the plants. He also comes in and uses the peon restroom (the publishers/owners have their own and don't share, fuckers).
Like clockwork, Pete would come in every Wednesday at 12:30 PM, judiciously water the plants, and end up at the break room, across the hall from the PR (Peon Restroom -- not to be confused with PoopReport). He would stealthily enter and destroy said restroom with the most noxious fumes I've ever had to deal with. Had that been me, I'd be proud... but with him, that stench would linger for the rest of the week, really disabling that particular restroom. From Wednesday afternoon on, most of us got in the habit of going to the convenience store next door.
So Pete would truly be a test of this fancy pants, top-of-the-shelf looking deodorizer. (It really is very nicely packaged.)
Wednesday morning came around, and I informed the rest of the staff of my intentions. They were all in agreement and fully supportive. At precisely 12:20 PM, I applied the Poo-Pourri to the serene waters of the PR. But not just the suggested three or four squirts; oh no, I knew that wasn't gonna do it. I hosed that fucker down for five minutes, virtually emptying the bottle. I was almost overcome by the lemon vapors as hallucinations of Mr. Clean attempting to bend me over the toilet ravaged my oxygen-starved brain. But I managed to make my exit.
Pete showed up right on time, did his thing, and entered the testing area. The lock snicked closed, and the creative department and I snuck up to the door.
"What the hell is that stink?" we heard Pete mutter as he noisily released his zipper. We stifled our laughter and left Pete to do his thing. Poop voyeurism isn't my thing.
Twenty minutes later, Pete walked out of the bathroom and down the hall with a grimace on his face. "That bathroom really stinks," he told the receptionist, which sent her into gales of hysterical laughter. Coming from Pete, this was a rather ironic statement.
I dashed down the hall to check the results. Yes, yes, indeed, that water closet did have an odor: lemon and shit. This stuff wasn't up to the challenge; in fact, it never really had a chance at all. Pete's digestive tract is simply too much.
For the rest of us, however, this stuff works really well. And I like the scent it has. It isn't overpowering (when used as directed), and it does a good job of covering up odors. It is NOT an odor eliminator -- just a fancy packaged cover-up. But in that task, it excels.
The package I got also included a really well-done press kit, with a history of the product, biographies of the inventors, links to websites, and much more info. Product-wise, I was very impressed with the presentation. Final judgment: Two thumbs up.