Poop In The Pool: What To Do When Shit Happens

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Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Summer is here! Which means it's time for a nice, cool cocktail by the pool. And here's one perfect for PoopReporters:

Poop in the Pool

2 oz chilled Blue Curacao liqueur

1 small tootsie roll candy

Pour the Curacao into a shot glass and drop in a Tootsie Roll.

I think it's more authentic in an on-the-rocks glass. But hey -- I'm a certified aquatic exercise instructor, not a bartender. What do I know? Other than the fact that nothing ends summer fun like (real) poop in the (real) pool! I've experienced it. And we've heard about it from people who have done it. Today, I'm here to teach you what to do if it happens to you.

First and foremost, when poop happens: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE POOL!

Next, know that a solid log poses less threat than a liquid blast. Fish out a floater (or sinker) ASAP, taking extreme care to not break it apart. Then (duh!) dump it in a toilet. Then soak whatever you used to grab it (net, towel, your hand) in Clorox for, like, forever. Or throw it out. Never vacuum poop from the pool because the vacuum will re-contaminate the pool whenever it is used in the future.

Diarrhea in the pool is a different matter. And it poses waaay more of a health hazard. We're talking about potential transmission of Cryptosporidium, Giardia, E-coli, and Shigella. The US Centers for Disease Control has a whole website about it. They call it: Fecal Accident Response Recommendations for Aquatics Staff.

Diseases caused by poop in the pool are classified as Recreational Water Illnesses (RWIs). RWIs are spread by accidentally swallowing pool water that has been contaminated with poop-related germs.

The good news is that germs causing RWIs are killed by chlorine.

However, chlorine doesn't work on them right away. It takes time to kill them. In some cases, it may take seven days before the pool is safe for swimming! If poop happens in your pool, carefully follow the CDC's charts. In short form, chlorinated pool water kills disease-causing organisms at the following speeds:

E-Coli Bacteria: Less than one minute

Hepatitis A Virus: 16 minutes

Giardia Parasite: 45 minutes

Cryptosporidium Parasite: 6.7 days

There are variables that depend on the amount of chlorine, the size of pool, parts per million, and so on. But to be on the safest side, in case ol' Crypto is present, the pool has to be closed and chlorinated for a week. (Kryptonite could kill Superman, so I guess the two are related.)

However, the CDC offers some conflicting information. In the aftermath of what it calls "Formed Stool in the Pool," it instructs you
to:

"...raise the chlorine to 2 ppm (if less than 2 ppm), and ensure the pH is between 7.2 - 7.5. This chlorine concentration was selected to keep the pool closure time to approximately 30 minutes."

In the aftermath of a diarrheal incident, though:

"...maintain the chlorine concentration at 2.0 ppm, pH 7.2 - 7.5, for at least 25 minutes before reopening the pool. State or local regulators may require higher chlorine levels in the presence of chlorine stabilizers such as chlorinated isocyanurates."

First the CDC prescribes that a pool might have to be closed for a week, and then it tells you how to re-open it via superchlorination in twenty-five or thirty minutes? Scary, huh? Reminds me of EPA after 9/11: "The air at Ground Zero is fresh and pure and healthy! No worries, rescue workers!"

So, isocyanurates shmarunates. Where I work, a week's closure is the rule. We don't trust Washington!

The CDC also recommends backwashing the filter thoroughly post-poop filtration. "Be sure," they say, "the effluent is discharged directly to waste. {...} Where appropriate, replace the filter media." "WHERE APPROPRIATE"?!? Poop just ran through it!

In my many years working in aquatic facilities, I've never seen an adult poop in the pool. I have, however, seen a child release a huge floating log. And that pool subsequently banned both parent and child and then closed down for super-chlorination for a week.

I did recently hear a horrible tale from an aquatic trainer colleague. "This senior I train," she told me. "Her husband gave her Milk of Magnesia. Well, they never told me. And then all of a sudden I saw this brown cloud blast out of her bathing suit. And I screamed and told her to get out of the pool NOW. The poop was dripping down her legs, all over the ladder." That pool was closed for a week, too.

A week closure is the right thing to do, in my opinion. Remember --- *I* have to go in those pools with my clients! Any pool that's closed less than a week, I will quit that job!

But here's an interesting note. I quote the CDC:

"In 1999, pool staff volunteers from across the country collected almost 300 samples from fecal accidents that occurred at waterparks and pools. CDC then tested them for Crypto and Giardia. None of the sampled fecal accidents tested positive for Crypto but Giardia was found in 4.4% of the samples collected.

So maybe poop is less germy than we think. But it begs a more interesting and entertaining question: why haven't we heard from those volunteers about their, um, collection responsibilities? There are three hundred poop reports waiting to be reported! After all, the CDC recommends keeping a Fecal Accident Log. *chuckle*

Most of these regulations apply to full-sized swimming pools. If poop happens in a kiddie pool with no filter, here's what to do: drain the pool. Period.

If you have kids, you may have one of those kiddie swim diapers. But according to this site, the kiddie swim diapers "do NOTHING to make the pool safer! Kimberly-Clark's marketing of these items skirts the issue, but never actually makes any claim of improved safety. The ONLY garment that offers some protection to other pool users is some type of waterproof pants over the diaper. But, quite honestly, fecally-incontinent individuals -- of any age, sex, mental capability, etc -- should not be sharing a pool with other people."

So, if you believe that site, you should keep your non-toilet trained kid out of all pools --- even kiddie pools.

Poop in the pool is funny -- everyone remembers that scene in Caddyshack -- but it's also serious. So if poop happens to you, do the right thing. Check the CDC's site, but also contact a licensed pool operator in your area who knows his/her stuff. You have a responsibility to make sure no one gets sick.

Here's hoping the only poop in your pool is that little Tootsie Roll in your cocktail. Enjoy a happy and Recreational Water Illness-free summer!

60 Comments on "Poop In The Pool: What To Do When Shit Happens"

GottaGoGirl's picture
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The ONLY point of the swim diapers is that they don't swell up in the water like regular diapers.

The reason someone thought to INVENT the things is because people were taking infants into the water with regular DIAPERS on.

The swim diapers INVITE bodily products to escape! Ick, ick, ick.

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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There was an incident like this in the indoor wave pool of a resort where I worked one summer.

Ever seen a 60-year old woman in a $3,000 Armani suit (the general manager) handing towards the pool area with a plastic sandwich bag and a broom? I have.

_______
What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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I view this page with some skepticism. There's a tendency to ascribe magical contaminating powers to poop that go beyond the actual truth of the matter.

I don't deny that poop contains all sorts of crazy bacteria. (Although one's poop doesn't contain any diseases one doesn't already have. No one will catch cholera from poop unless the person pooping already has cholera.)

But I don't think that the sudden insertion of a log of poop is going to cause an outbreak. After all, as we've discussed in many other places, our bodies aren't really poop-free as it is. Toilet paper doesn't actually clean us so much as it smears poop into our butts until we can't see it any more. Presumably there are still small amounts of poop and bacteria stuck to our butts as we dive into the pool. So we're constantly introducing fecally-transmitted bacteria to the water; that's why the water is chlorinated.

So while it's true that a solid log does introduce a higher concentration of bacteria into the water, I can't imagine it's enough to overwhelm the levels of chlorine already present.

I'm not saying precautions shouldn't be taken -- they should, absolutely. Rather, I just think that there's precaution and then there's hysteria and fearmongering.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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Follow-up: as for diarrhea, that does indeed require more caution than a solid log. It will disperse much faster, for obvious reasons; but while it could just be the aftermath of Taco Bell, diarrhea could be evidence of some nefarious digestive disease. You need to be more careful with diarrhea, just in case it is dysentery or something.

doniker's picture
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I have a pool, always keep the chlorine well above 2.0 and the PH above 7.2, I'm a fanatic about it.

Being that I have the only pool in the neighborhood, my yard has always been a popular place with the kids and I'm sure some of the young ones have had less that clean asses and surely have peed in my pool.

But I never worry about germs in my pool.

Now a public lake, a public pool, a pool at a hotel, those are the type of things I worry about swimming in because I have no control of the maintenence.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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SHOULD ALL FECAL ACCIDENTS BE TREATED THE SAME?
No.

A diarrheal fecal accident is a higher risk event than a formed stool accident.

Interesting. The real peoblem with a diarrheal event is that it's, well, diarrheal.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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That's "problem." Must preview comments.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I could edit that typo for you if you'd like, Mr. Daddy.

This was a wonderful poopreport. What I wonder most about, though, is how many people pee in the pool, because you know that we've probably all done it once in our lives.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

SSpiffyPoo's picture
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A couple of comments here.

>What I wonder most about, though, is how many people pee in the pool,

Urine is sterile (unless you have a urinary tract infection), so no problem.

And we chlorinate the treatment plant effluent to 2 ppm with a detention time of ~40 minutes in the chlorine contact channel. Our effluent is consistently lower than 2 cfu (colony forming units) per 100 mL.


_______
I work at a poop plant, so I know whereof I speak.

SSpiffyPoo

I work at a poop plant, so I know whereof I speak.

SSpiffyPoo

P. Doody's picture
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This summer we went to the Disneyland resort in Anaheim, CA. We were enjoying our time at the hotel's pool when suddenly we see the pool get emptied of people. I may have been asleep, for I did not hear any lifeguard over the PA bellowing "get out" orders.

We felt sorry for whoever it was of the numerous parents whose child let a log (or brown cloud?!) free in the pool area. Fortunately, we had spent a few hours there so didn't feel ripped off. But for the new hotel patrons, this pool closure in late June must have been a major problem.

What was more interesting was that within 30 minutes of the pool sitting empty, some teenager comes into the pool area and promptly dives into the pool. We were all embarassed for him as his dad sternly told him to get out, while we all watched. Most likely, he was not in the pool area after the evacuation.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Interesting. At several of the local pools, the rule seems to be 2 hours. I know that's the case at our local YMCA and at the county recreation centers. On the other hand, I know of one local country club that will not let in children with swim diapers.

It always seemed disingenuous to take away pool priveleges for families with little poopers. First, they're children. For shit's sake, this kind of activity is part and parcel of the human condition. Untold generations have had to endure this. If you've ever cleaned a baby's shitty bottom on a regular basis, you know it's almost impossible to clean out all of the shit from under your fingernails once that's happened. So, what are you going to do? Not go to work for a week to avoid infecting your co-workers? How are you going to go a week without jamming your fingers up your nose at least once?

Second, there are far more formidable and prevalent diseases than Cholera in the population. For example, we don't ban snot-nosed children or HIV-Positive individuals from the pool. And while it's understood that menstruating women shouldn't use the pool, we certainly don't ban them during their periods.

I really think that this whole thing is just the visual component. You can't see AIDS, urine, menstrual by-products, athlete's foot, lice and a host of other disease vectors in the pool. So, we all just push it out of mind and accept the risk when we do the cannon ball. Yet, let a little brown particle (or a little gastric acid, i.e. vomit) get into the pool and, suddenly, everybody is wigged out.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating that we should all dive in after an accident. If a little decontamination time helps to calm the savages, then go for it. But diseases are there and, once you get in the pool, you accept the risk of living mano-a-mano with the unwashed masses of humanity.

And for those of you who are really grossed out by the whole notion of pool-borne diseases, please take a soap shower with shampoo before and after you use the pool.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Martin V.'s picture
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My recreation center in Golden, CO closes for 24hs after a diarrhea incident (happens several times per year). I complained to the city that this looked like an arbitrary number and they sent me the code:
"D. If feces are in the form of diarrhea, the pool shall be closed, superchlorinated (or equivalent), remain closed for 24 hours, and then re-opened if disinfection levels are within required parameters."
I'm unconvinced. The article suggests the biggest threat is Giardia but I don't buy that a 3 year old Giardia victim would first discover the symptoms in the pool.

Explosive Diarrhea's picture
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I'm trying hard to contain myself and not laugh. Poop in the swimming pool would be a terribly funny subject if it didn't carry such high risk for spreading serious illness.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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So what have we learned here. Poop in someone else's pool= hilarious but only as long as I was no where near the water at the time. Poop in my own pool= horribly disgusting I will be stripping all the flesh from my body with a scouring pad and bleach.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I think the only thing that could be worse would be diarrhea in a jacuzzi. You couldn't get out quick enough.

Logjam's picture
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Not to be confused with Di Uhreea in a jacuzzi, in which case I couldn't get in quick enough.

Logjam

prarie doggin's picture
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LJ, careful what you wish for. You could wind up in that jacuzzi with Rhea Perlman.

Logjam's picture
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PD, you've obviously never had the privilege to chat with Di, nor to writhe 'neath her cyber whip.

Logjam

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Fond memories, LJ...I miss her..remember that time with the three of us, the jar of crunchy peanut butter, and the cat o' nine tails?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Logjam's picture
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Try as we might, we could not wear her out. She may be gone, but we will always have Paris.

Logjam

Bilgepump's picture
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And Athens, Istanbul, Bangkok, (I'd rather forget that adventure), and Vancouver.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Logjam's picture
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Funny you should mention Bangkok. I just returned from Thailand and brought back with me a souvenir that I'm hoping Cipro will cure.

Logjam

Bilgepump's picture
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If it doesn't, there's always the leeches...
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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I love the name Bangkok. I can't believe anybody named a city after that.

prarie doggin's picture
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Postman, the original name Loudlystriketallywhacker didn't fit on a stamp. You should have known that.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Now something worse to Fear than the Movie JAWS !

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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PD, you've outdone yourself. And re. Thailand, nowhere in the world can you get more bang for your baht.

Logjam

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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PD, that's true, but Jerkrod or Chickchok would have.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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I was swimming in a hotel swimming pool when somebody shit in the water and nobody could swim for two days. Then they opened the pool again. However, I didn't fancy another swim in that pool.

_______
Russell

Russell the shitting queen

Logjam's picture
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Here in rural Massachusetts, towns don't aspire to reaching stamp status, and so can give themselves outlandish names such as "Belchertown" and "Athol" and thereby never have to worry about ever having to pay anything but token property taxes.

Logjam

Logjam's picture
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What the hell is going on with these derailers talking about swimming pools and JAWS? For Buddha's sake, stay on topic.

Logjam

prarie doggin's picture
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Yeah, let's stick to the subject of rural Massachusetts towns. How about Assonet?

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Yeah, that would work here. When the residents do want property values to rise, they change the name. So the last town I lived in, now known as Sunderland, was originally Swampfield.

Logjam

El Scumbag's picture
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Young Scumlette is now 6, but at the age of 2, Mrs Scumbag and I took her to a local pool. Fair enough, it wasn't the sort of pool one can actually swim in as it was designed to look like a lagoon, with a gently sloping entrance, toys, a wave machine, water squirting from pipes every few minutes, etc. Scumlette had those swim nappies (diapers) on underneath her costume, but the problem was that this particular batch of swim nappies were quite old and given to us a year previously after being in the previous owner's closet for fuck knows how long. The tapes did not stick very well, but we put them on her, had her costume over the top, her armbands, etc, and told her to let us know if she needed to go to the toilet.

In the pool she had a great time as we splashed in the shallows, and when the wave machine started she absolutely loved it. I then led her around the slightly deeper areas on one of the inflatable toys listening to her shrieking and laughing (one of the best sounds on earth) but suddenly the mild waves got higher and more powerful. The crest of one hit her full in the face, which gave her a comical expression and I pulled her towards me to hug her, but it seemed that she'd swallowed some of the water. She puked up her lunch almost immediately, most of which landed on me, then started crying and coughing. The next wave washed away the stomach debris and my first thought was "Oh dear, puke in the pool..." but I held her to me, comforting her as she sobbed and coughed, then I noticed the sudden change of pressure and warmth on my forearm, which was supporting her bottom. She'd shat in shock and the swim diaper's sticky strips had come loose, so poo was leaking out of the legholes. At that moment, as I stood there thinking about wading to the edge of the pool and getting out with her, the next wave hit us with a gigantic splash, carrying the brown nuggets with it and causing Scumlette to scream and cry. I looked around, frantic, looking to see where the poo or the puke had been swept to, but the actions of the waves meant it could have been anywhere. I strode to the edge with a screaming Scumlette, brown smears running down her legs, to Mrs Scumbag's horror. She was happily sitting there in the shallows, letting the waves break over her. Without needing to be told, she got up immediately, taking hold of Scumlette and comforting her while I explained what happened as we headed for the poolside shower and stripped her down.

It didn't take long for the shrieks of childish excitement from the pool to change pitch and become shrieks of horror. Wanting the ground to open up and swallow us we heard another little girl crying as she'd obviously been hit by a lump of either poo or puke, followed by whistles from the lifeguards and an announcment over the tannoy that bathers were to leave the pool immediately.

Recognising our cue, Mrs S and I grabbed the still protesting Scumlette and hurried into the changing rooms, quickly dressing ourselves and got out of the building as quickly as we could.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Derail back to Logjam`s comment about town names - we have a client at work whose first name is Athole.

The voice of sanity

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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T-Box, many years ago I used to have a client called Mr Cock. Always made me chuckle.

In my last job, Mr Bobek was another client. I'm not sure where the name comes from, but I found it hilarious that 'bobek' is Czech for 'turd'.

But the best name ever belonged to a Chinese shopkeeper where I grew up in southwest London. I had to look him up in the phone book as a kid to believe it was real and people weren't winding me up: Mr Shito.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I knew a Richard Bagg. Think about it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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If I am not mistaken there is a rock group in California who's lead singer is Richard Cheese. The groups name is Dick Cheese and the Crackers.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
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I gotta have one of their t-shirts.

And who didn't have a Mr. Lipshitz in their phone book.

Rackcooned's picture
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Your recommendation may work for human feces, but raccoon droppings can be deadly. Raccoons may be infected with a roundworm, Baylisascaris procyonis, whose eggs followed by larva can infect humans with lethal consequences. The eggs are chlorine resistant and can live for years. The remedy I have tentatively settled on: drain the pool and blowtorch it and all the equipment. Tell me there is a simpler remedy.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Put up a sign stating "No Raccon shit in the pool!"

Sometimes the most obvious answers are the hardest to see.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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Bilge, you can't trust those masked little fuckers not to shit in your pool. I would just ban them from the pool, and the hot tub for that matter.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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good point...maybe a segregated pool/spa area for furry woodland creatures.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Find someone to blame it on !

Coon's Everywhere's picture
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Separate but equal, Bilgepump, is neither separate nor equal.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I didn't say any damn thing about being equal...they are fucking rodents...and my superior intellect puts me far ...uh....hmm...anyone seen my...can we go...damn it...fucking superior intellect is way over-rated.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward (of course)'s picture
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Imagine finding dog shit in your pool. Imagine. .

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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It is wise to only use the adult pool. At least you minimize the chances of a problem.

pool man's picture
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how the heck do you get cat crap off the pool floor we moved into a house with literally lots of crap on the floor tried to vacuum it up and theres still resadue on the floor how do you get the resadue up thats dry after we get it up we will put water in it thanks for any help

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Pool Man, I suggest a little saliva using your tongue as the applicator.

Or try H2SO4. That will take care of just about anything organic without disturbing the inorganic too much.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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pool man ... If you want to try something a little milder C2H4O2 will probably do the job. You can also use it on your salads, preferably before depooping your pool with it.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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"So maybe poop is less germy than we think."
Crypto and Giarda aren't germs, they're parasites.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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"Urine is sterile (unless you have a urinary tract infection), so no problem."

That's only partly true.

"Urine is sterile until it reaches the urethra where the epithelial cells lining the urethra are colonized by facultativley aerobic Gram negative rods and cocci."

the source is the wikipedia article on urine.

In addition, urine can be a medium of transmission for certain diseases, because some viruses can be excreted in urine. Examples: cytomegalovirus, the SARS virus...

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I hate were I live I think I may just toss in the pool a runny dyper. That will be funny to see many sad that the pool is closed for a week. Maybe I'll swim around and let out some myself first. Too funny.

powersoak's picture
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When I was young and dinosaurs roamed the earth, children in diapers were not taken to public pools. We did not have fast food places so chldren were not taken out to eat. Now, because no one can stand to stay at home or afford a babysitter, infants and toddlers are taken to places they are not ready to be. I remember a brief run of a disgusting ad for some brand of disposable diapers with some sort of leak guards like levees along the leg areas. This lady comes on the TV telling about her child's "messy accident" in the grocery store shopping cart and it was gross enough to make you stop shopping. Seal the damn things up with duct tape. All packaged products I bring home from the store are cleaned with disinfectant before being put in the refrigerator or pantry. People let children stand in the grocery carts so your groceries are resting on the same surface as the kids' shoes. Lovely.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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I have invented the perfect item of clothing for toddlers and infants. I call it the "Live in Diaper Suit." It consists of a large bag, not unlike a laundry bag, with a drawstring opening at the top. The child is placed in the bag and the drawstring is pulled snugly around the child's neck, not tight enough to cause death by strangulation but snug enough to preclude the escape of any odors which adults in the area may find offensive. The bag is of course coated with a waterproof substance to avoid the leakage of any liquids.

Once each week the unit is taken out in the backyard, the child is removed and given a thorough hosing and then placed into a fresh "Live in Diaper Suit." The old one goes directly into the garbage bin.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
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That is barbaric Chief. How do you expect the poor garbage man to deal with this? You inconsiderate bastard.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Ahh Mr. Doggin, after the child is removed from the bag the drawstrings can be pulled tight and the aroma will be effectively sealed away from the noses of the garbage men....er....until they turn on their compactor.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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There was a swimming pool I went to about two years ago, and the pool seemed clean, but when I went to the area where there was some fountains, there was little bits of poop and bits of sticky plaster floating about. Needless to say, I never went in that swimming pool ever again!