poop culture

CONTEST #8: The Ideal Celebrity Poop Spokesperson -- Vote Now!

Posted 04.03.2002 by Dave (11627)
PoopReport is looking for a celebrity spokesperson. Someone whose very presense says, "I represent poop and it's my mission to spread the gospel of poop across the land!"

**FIRST PRIZE**
The winner of this contest will receive their very own Turd Twister!

We've arrived at these six finalists. One of them will be named as PoopReport's Official Celebrity Spokesperson. Hopefully it will be someone that works for free, because our budget consists of two $.33 stamps and a coupon for Taco Bell.

Vote for your favorite! The person who suggested the winning spokesperson will win a prize from TurdTwister.com. Thanks, TurdTwister!

Click here if you want to see the entire list of entries.

Voting has now closed.The results will be posted on Monday.

The Ideal Celebrity Poop Spokesperson?
 
Gary Coleman... because he hasn't done shit in years but is still floating around.
-- Posted by Tony.
 
Ron Popeil (see this pic). This is one man who has devoted his life to peddling shit to the wary consumer. By shit, I am obviously referring to substandard items of convenience that turn the laziest of people into the... uh... MORE laziest people. Does the food dehydrator ring a bell? Yes, he taught us that you can turn anything into jerky.

Anyhow, he is charismatic and believes in his products no matter how lame they are. Also, check out his last name; Popeil, pronounced (poh-peel). There is a library of shit jokes and poop references in his last name alone. Visit http://shop.ronco.com/ and you be the judge.
-- Posted by Jeff.
 
Sally Struthers might also want to carry the banner triumphant. Her caloric intake alone would have to produce buckets full of hot steamy loaf.
-- Posted by Tony.
 
Mr. T - "Read the poopreport! Go to school! Aand don't do drugs!" "Oh yea... be tough like me, Mr. T! You too can be part of the 'A' team."
-- Posted by Professor Lump.
 
Rodney Dangerfield would be great. He is just like poop: he gets no respect and most of the time he stinks.
-- Posted by Doc.
 
What about Tom Green? NONE of the other people listed here would show half the enthusiasm that he would. Hell, he'd probably do it for free!
-- Posted by KillahKelley.
 



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poop (not verified) -- 04.05.2002

Ron Poopeil! He is a winner

Skiddy Poo (76) -- 04.06.2002

Aw, c'mon! Mr. T!!!! I'll do my best PR Mr. T:

"I pity the poo!"

Natt (not verified) -- 04.06.2002

I'm pulling for tony and GARY COLEMAN!!!

Professor Lump (34) -- 04.06.2002

Skiddy. It didn't even cross my mind to use that line "I pitty the poo". Works well.

Nobody Special (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

If Tom Green won, he'd probably get an hour-long "Poop Report" special on MTV about you guys. Your fame would increase!

Shithead (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

I like them all, but I think you forgot one person--Tony Little. He's fulla shit!!!

Johnny (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

There is a good reason for voting for Tom Green - he probably would actually make mention of the poop report on his show. Dave, you should approach the Red Green Show about this possiblility.

Super (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

TOM GREEN"S SUBWAY MONKEY HOUR!

Ron Popeil (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

I heard through my publicist that I was listed on a poop-oriented website and that I was one of the choices as it's spokesman. I have to say, if you called me out of the blue to ask me (which you should have; what you are doing is hardly legal) to be a spokesperson for poopreport, I would have declined immediately. However, upon viewing your site, you seem to be an enterprising young man, not unlike myself at your age. If chosen, I'd be honored to represent your site. Heck, I can even make a guarantee that you will profit your site once I take the helm. Vote wisely. Vote realistically.

Diane Cannon (not verified) -- 04.07.2002

Hey Ron is that a pocketfisherman or are you just happy to see me?

ken (not verified) -- 04.09.2002

i think tony robbins would take the cause to a whole 'nother level

Ron Popeil (not verified) -- 04.09.2002

It looks like a landslide vote, and not in my favor. Although my publicist asserts that winning would tarnished the Ronco name, I still think it would have been fun if I were to win. It really would have broken up the mundane nature of chicken roasters and food dehydrators. I can only bid good luck to the two that are neck and neck. Don't forget, I have a new info-mercial coming out this weekend. You won't believe what I have cooked up next!

Hiney (not verified) -- 04.10.2002

I think whoever you put on top would win

some people just hit the vote button with out thinking

HUHK (not verified) -- 04.10.2002

Gary Coleman likes to eat his own poop. Do you remember that one episode of Different Strokes where he started fliging his feces at everybody while eating them? What? You don't remember that? Fuck you!

Mickey (not verified) -- 12.14.2002

HaHa love ur site.Keep it up.

Elisha (not verified) -- 04.02.2005

I really wanted to vote for Fat Bastard because he took such a narly shit in Austin Powers.
I also wanted to say that Mr. Rogers was royally full af shit about wanting children to be his neighbor, I was told by an unnammed sorce that Mr. Rogers didn't really like children he just wanted the pay check.

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i poop and i vote
 


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