poopreport : Contests :

poop culture

CONTEST #11: Name That Pooper

Posted 02.11.2003 by Dave (11451)
At a moment when humanity's religious and cultural conflicts push us towards the brink, the time has come for this organization to stand up and remind us that our divisions are arbitrary. We are all one, because we all answer to a higher power -- poop.
** GRAND PRIZE **
queen shit, turd shack

The funniest entry will win a bottle of Sphincterine -- the breath-mint for your ass!

The pleasure and pain of our daily struggle transcends all our schisms and squabbles. Identical brown demons torment every single human being; the triumph of man over ass-beast is the universal language.

One world, under poop: this is our map to utopia. And to start us down that glorious road, I present PoopReport Contest #11. The goal: come up with punny names that remind us that every person who has ever been famous, for any reason, is, at heart, above all, a pooper.

This contest is over. Click here to see the winners.

Famous People's Poop Names

  • Example:
    Donald Bumsfilled
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Dave

  • Example:
    Ben Assfleck
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Dave

  • Colon Bowell
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Colon Bowell

  • Adolf Shitler
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Hairy Pooter

  • Joey Assafuoco
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Hairy Pooter

  • Halle Dingleberry
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Rich F.

  • Curt Colonpain
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Courtney Luvs
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • 'Roid Rogers
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • John Pain
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Cottonella Fitzgerald
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Christina Asshaira
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Madonnatal
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Enema-M
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Richard Gerebil
    -- Posted 2.11.02003 by Fred

    --- ADDED 2.12 ---
  • Paula Abdoo
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • C. Tumorous Bowel
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Crotch-stain Bale
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Sofia Lower-end
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Francis Farts Cocoapuffs
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Leon Sphincts
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Matt Groaning
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • The Colon Brothers
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Lawrence Tushburn
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Bowel Nye
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Doc Brown

  • Jennifer Loadpez
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Bea M. Arthur
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Hairy Pooter

  • Anal Thicke
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Hairy Pooter

  • Margaret Chode
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Hairy Pooter

  • Ricky Squatin
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Sebastian Block
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • George Washingbum
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Abraham Lincolon
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Two-plop Shakur
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Dan Ackroids
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Alice Pooper
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Elizabutt Tailer
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Dribble Sheppard
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Anthony Plopkins
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Will-He Bob Forthem
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • George Curl-in
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Jerry Seinsmell
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Jodie Fosturd
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Amy Itcher
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • David Pinch
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Peter Crampton
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Phil Donaphew
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Dom Delasqueeze
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Ass Phlegm

  • Martha Poowert
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Brittney Smears
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • P Shitty
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Melissa Joan Fart
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Josh Fartnett
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Anal Greenspan
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • George Gush
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Jennifer Love Poowett
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Justin Timberlog
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Lance Ass
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Poo Hairymoore
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Nat King Colon
    -- Posted 2.12.02003 by Matt

    --- ADDED 2.13 ---
  • Skid Vicious
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Snapper

  • Donald Dump
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Robin

  • David Splatterman
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Robin

  • Steve Fartin
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Robin

  • Tom Stanks
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Robin

  • Chuck Bareass
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Jimbo

  • Kirby Fudgepucket
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Captain Shagrat

  • F. Scott Shitsgerald
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Scat Woman

  • King Richard the Turd
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Connie Chunk
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Uriah Heap
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Poop Doggy-Dog
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Jam Mastercrapper Jay (from Runs DMC)
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Shitney Spears
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Bill Clings-on
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Fart Stinkletter
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Matthew Immodiumdine
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Warren Crapp
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Poo Carey
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Paul McFartney
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Naomi Mudd
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Edgar Allan Poo
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • William Shitsmear
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Turdnest Hunginway
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Excreta Hayworth
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Flusher
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Poopi Goldturd
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Flush Limbaugh
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Elton's John
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Arnold Shitsenegger
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by JZ

  • Deuce Springsteen
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Ass-splurt Arafatass
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Greg Kidney-aargh
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Splurt Reynolds
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Steven Spillturds
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Jack Tricklesruns
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Turd Ferguson

  • Natalie Poopman
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Hmmm

  • Anustasia Romanov
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Larry Turd
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Scotty Drippin
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Shatquille O'Neal
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Farton Daily
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by DAPooPMasta

  • Jack The Fart Ripper
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by DAPooPMasta

  • Fred Burst
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by DAPooPMasta

  • Mohammad Smeeli (aka Gassious Clay)
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Pucker

  • John Asscrack
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Butt Buddy

  • Napoleon Bonafarte
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Scott

  • Corey Fart
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by fleshkopter

  • Fartin Lawrence
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by fleshkopter

  • Christina Crapplegate
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by fleshkopter

  • Fiona Crapple
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by fleshkopter

  • Scat Stevens
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by fleshkopter

  • Malcolm X-crement
    -- Posted 2.13.02003 by Bryan

    --- ADDED 2.14 ---
  • Prune Allyson
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Pat

  • Janet Beano
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Ozzy Assburn
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Gloryhole Estefan
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Bung Crosby
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Sphincter Lee
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Fartin Pooter King, Jr.
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Dale Burnfart, Jr.
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Stoolia Roberts
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Ja Stool
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Shatkira
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Avril Latrine
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Billie Joe Bumstrong
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Aaron Farter
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Heather Blocklear
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Tory Smelling
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Jada Stinkett
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Ben Spiller
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Stephen Stinking
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Oprah Windfree
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Kirstin Bunst
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Nicole Skidman
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Hairy Tyler Moore
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • The Artist Formerly Known as Piss
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Bantam

  • Famous Anus
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Senator Mark Crapfield
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Dean Fartin
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Jerry Farter
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Roddy McBowel
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Norman Fartskopf
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by El Cagador

  • Chunk Woolery
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Jane Doe

  • Gorge Push
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by G Ras

  • Tori Anus
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Cory

  • Sir Poop Alot
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Cory

  • Leo Stoolstoy
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Sarah

  • Dan Fogelturd
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Sarah

  • Dave Splatthews
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Sarah

  • Jennifer Anuston
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Sarah

  • Anna Pooquin
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Angela Crapwright
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Nia Pooples
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Diarrhea Perlman
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Brad Pftt
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Smell Gibson
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Kate Crapshaw
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Anna Feces
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Harrison Fart
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Marlon Brandoo
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Melina Kakakaredes
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Geoffrey Brush
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Mary Steelbungen
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Debora Kara Bunger
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Poon Unit Crappa
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Harry Poodini
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Tyra Bungs
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Truman Capoote
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Enema Thompson
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Helena Bungham Carter
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Susan Sarandung
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Doody Allen
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Poomela Pee Anderson
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Ed Assner
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Meryl Streak
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Patty Dook
    -- Posted 2.14.02003 by Scat Woman

    --- ADDED 2.18 ---
  • Elvis Pissley
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by El Cagador

  • Poop John Paul II
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by El Cagador

  • Fartin Scorcese
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by El Cagador

  • Britney Smears
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • Vanessa Farton
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • King Farthur
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • Shania Stain
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • Smelly Rowland
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • Anna Crapsallova
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pooper Troopers

  • Cornholeeza Rice
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Donny B

  • Can Morrison
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pucker

  • Helmut Colon
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pucker

  • David Doodycovney
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pucker

  • George AssBurns
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Pucker

  • Wettsy Ross
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jane Doe

  • Vladimir Pootin
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jane Doe

  • Betty Wipe
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jane Doe

  • Dolly Farton
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Emeril LaGassy
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • George W. Bowoosh
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Lara Fling Bowel
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Reese Witherspoot
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Jennifer Anuston
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Sylvester Stall One
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Judge Joe Browneye
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Gary Coalchute
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Jimbo

  • Nelson Mandoola
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Mastercrapper

  • C. Everett Poop
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by PJBrownstuff

  • Defecate Blanchett
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Gwyneth Boweltrow
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Monica Potsitter
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Assleak Judd
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Rebecca Gayfart
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Anal-leaker Jolie
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Pew Barrymore
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Ali Farter
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Natalie Portajohn
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Mena Poovari
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Eliza Pushpoo
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Renee Smellweger
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Kirsten Dumps
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Kate Mudson
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Lucy Pew
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Sarah Michelle Smeller
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Rachel Grunter
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by Troutman Coolee

  • Leonardo DiCrappio
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by The Duke

  • Ross Poohrot
    -- Posted 2.18.02003 by BrandiPoooooooh

    --- ADDED 2.19 ---
  • Fill Colons
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Trousers Full

  • Dwight David Eisenbowel
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Bantam

  • Stone Cold Steve Asstin
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Bantam

  • Little Richturd
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Bantam

  • Frank Shitnatra
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Bantam

  • Cleoscatra
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Joan of Fart
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Poobla Khan
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Arispottle
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Mary, Queen of Pots
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Frederich Neetshit
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Conpoocius
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Charlestrain
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Bowelboa
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Calamity Stain
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Wes Luther

  • Faye Dumpaway
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Maya Ontheloo
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Suzanne Pleshitte
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Judi Stench
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Smelly Long
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Smellanie Griffith
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Carmen Ejectra
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Strain Fonda
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Scatalie Portman
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Janeane Gorumblelow
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Uma Turdman
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Claudia Shitter
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Scat Benatar
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Hilary Stank
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Smellma Blair
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Deborah Dunger
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Fartina McBride
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Shawna Ride

  • Ludapiss
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Dude

  • Ari Flusher
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Barbara Hersheysquirt
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Iggy Poop
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Kurt Loader
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Peter O'Stool
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Conway Shitty
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Arsenio Stall
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Tom Brokeoff
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Asston Pusher
    -- Posted 2.19.02003 by Barry_Dingle

    --- ADDED 2.20 ---
  • Lisa "Brown Eye" Lopes
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Junior "Stool" Samples
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Tom Turdriffic

  • Albert Hindstain
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Michael Dookakis
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Peeyewan MacGregor
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Jean-Craptiste Lemark
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Scat Sajak
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Sean Dung
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Shitting Bull
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Foul Rippin', Jr.
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Rank Aaron
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Bruce Leak
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Che Guanovara
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Shatquile O'Neall
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by JuliaGulia

  • Spill Spector
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by El Cagador

  • Log Stewart
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by El Cagador

  • Pea Farrow
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by El Cagador

  • Anal Nicole Shits
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Jason

  • Conan O'Brown
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Mario Lepoo
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Wayne Shitzky
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Poolia Poois-Dreyfart
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Colon Fartill
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Disco Poo

  • Wesley Wipes
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Poocahontas
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Bryant Rumble
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Barbara Walturd
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Andy Pooney
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Rosie O'Dungell
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Judge Doody
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Ira Peacock

  • Squirtis Blow
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Dook Ellington
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Robert DooVall
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Al Crapone
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Hulk Grogan
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Loafer Grace
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Piles Davis
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Stank Williams Jr.
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • H.P. Lovecrap
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Lavatori Spelling
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Mud Nelson
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Fudge Rheinhold
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Calvin Poolidge
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Cindy Plopper
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Alyssa Miguano
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Christopher Plunger
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • David Plopperfield
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Dick van Crappin'
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Doniker Lewinsky
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Stanley Poobrick
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • LL Stool J
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Pooman Capotty
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Poo Stark
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Henny Dungman
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Barry_Dingle

  • Smelly Winters
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Jimbo

  • Ted Nugget
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Jimbo

  • Abraham Lincolnlog
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Jimbo

  • Shitney Houston
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Ed Sulliedman
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Brown Ferry
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Naomi Spotts
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Russoil Crowe
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Pang Lee
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

  • Frank Crappa
    -- Posted 2.20.02003 by Scat Woman

    --- ADDED 2.21 ---
  • Pedro Fartinez
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Rich F

  • Janeane Pinchoffaloaf
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Pile Shoveit
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Che Guanovara

  • Phew Grant
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Antonio Bumderas
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Kim Scattrall
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Charlie Peein
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Scat Lauer
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Poopert Everett
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Piss Kirkpatrick
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Benjamin Scatt
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Pile Maclachlan
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Lanced Ass
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Fartie Seidel
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Beyonce Bowels
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Brooke Turd
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Anavlis Nimanob

  • Julia Stooles
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Jessica

  • Jada Pinchit
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Jessica

  • Henry Stinkler
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by PJ Brownstuff

  • Skid Rock
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by PJ Brownstuff

  • Engelsquirt Dumperstink
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by PJ Brownstuff

  • Morgan Peeman
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Rick

  • Lisa Shitfield
    -- Posted 2.21.02003 by Rick


This contest is over. Click here to see the winners.


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Tydirium (516) -- 02.11.2003

This is a great contest! I hate George W. Tush

Che (not verified) -- 02.11.2003

wow, nice going Tom. you're in the lead!

Che (not verified) -- 02.11.2003

forgot the rest of my address.

Tom Turdriffic (not verified) -- 02.11.2003

In case anyone wonders about "Madonnatol":

Donnatal is a mild antispasmodic medication; it has been used with other drugs for relief of cramps and pain associated with various stomach, intestinal, and bowel disorders, including irritable bowel syndrome, acute colitis, and duodenal ulcer.

http://www.healthsqr.com/newrx/don1146.htm

Jenny (26) -- 02.12.2003

Putin! (no name change required)

Donny B (not verified) -- 02.13.2003

National Security Advisor Cornholeezza Rice

(mmm, that's good gravy!)

Donny B (not verified) -- 02.13.2003

thats better

Donny B (not verified) -- 02.13.2003

Public Enemy rapper Flatus Flav (yeaaaah, boyyyeeee!)

Di Uhreea (398) -- 02.13.2003

Tom T.

Hands Down!!!!

Too many funny ones to vote on from him!!

Che (not verified) -- 02.16.2003

just when i think Tom T's got it in the bag, JuliaGulia makes a run for it! nice going, you two. i see this one going down to the wire.

also, i'll withdrawl my 3 inferior submissions if i can be on the panel that sifts through these brilliant entries to narrow the field to an elite few for voting.

anonyshymouse (not verified) -- 02.16.2003

I love the entry by Bantam (his only entry?) The Artist Formely Known as Piss....lolll

I like your "Larry Turd" Che...i just love the word Turd....

Troutman Coolee (not verified) -- 02.17.2003

I submitted entries, but they didn't get posted. Is there a delay? If so, when will they get posted? Do comments get posted immediately?

Dude (not verified) -- 02.17.2003

ludapiss

Che (not verified) -- 02.18.2003

thanks for the "Larry Turd" praise, anonyshymouse. i hope it doesn't win, though, b/c i love Larry Bird.

as for the delay in posting: Dave receives the entries then posts one or two days worth at a time. be patient. it will be posted soon! in the meantime, keep 'em coming.

Bantam (29) -- 02.18.2003

Dave didn't post the additional information with my submission. My full submission was:

The Artist formerly known as Piss (his new name looks like a shitstain)

See, really, the humour is in the fact that his name can be changed to actually LOOK like a shitstain, the other submissions are just text. I could draw a picture if anyone wants...

JuliaGulia (not verified) -- 02.19.2003

I havent looked in the forums but i always read the archives of the poop stories and stuff. I shall look tho!

Che (not verified) -- 02.19.2003

have you checked out the forums, Julia? if not, i recommend it. there's kind of a lull right now, but i'm sure it'll pick back up in a while.

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/index.php

JuliaGulia (not verified) -- 02.19.2003

There's only three things that keep me alive in sickness. Tissues, tea...and Poopreport! For the last couple days I've sat in front of the computer, tea in hand and tissues stuffed so far up my nose i don't doubt they've introduced themselves to my brain and read poopreport non stop. oh man, seriously, i do love poopreport, i think dave is a genius! keep up the great work dude!

poopreportlover (not verified) -- 02.19.2003

there are a lot of incredibly witty people out there!!! it would be hard to pick a winner, they're all so funny!!! my face hurts from laughing

The Lizturd King (11) -- 02.20.2003

Abraham Lincoln Log

Tydirium (516) -- 02.21.2003

Doniker Lewinksy!!!! Genius!

crappercritic (not verified) -- 02.21.2003

this contest is stupid. dave, did you have a fart in your brain when you thought of it?

Che (not verified) -- 02.21.2003

Engelsquirt Dumperstink???

LOL!!!

landopoophead (not verified) -- 02.21.2003

poop is the BBBBOOOOMMMMBBBB!!!!

Che (not verified) -- 02.22.2003

i have been thinking of "Engelsquirt Dumperstink" nonstop since i read it. if this one doesn't win, there is no justice.

there are a lot of other funny ones, but this one wins hands down in my book. too, too funny.

excellent job, PJ.

PJbrownstuff (60) -- 02.23.2003

Thanks, Che. There is some stiff competition out there. I hope others agree with you.

PJbrownstuff (60) -- 02.23.2003

I went back and read some of the first entries. For some reason, Gloryhole Estefan makes me laugh.

Scat Woman (not verified) -- 02.24.2003

I've always thought Che Guanovara is a hilarious pun on Che Guevarra - Shitting Bull, good one...

so many good ones it will be hard to pick finalists

BloodGultch (not verified) -- 02.24.2003

I guess my entry didnt make it in time....but i think my Ninja Turdals are funny: Michashitaloaf, Donapoopalo, Leoturdo, and Rafecal.

Tom Royce (not verified) -- 02.25.2003

Poopy McPooperson

Heidi C. Kruger (not verified) -- 02.27.2003

My choice of the five top entries:

Jennifer Anuston

Defecate Blanchett

Assleak Judd

Leonardo DiCrappio

Carmen Ejectra

Hairy Pooter (111) -- 03.03.2003

Englebert Humperdink's a made up name full of humor as it is. While I appreciate the double pun, it doesn't have the insidious flavor like some other entries because of the target. I didn't agree with Tom Green being spokesman for the same reasons.

Francis Farts Cocoapuffs is kind of ok, but it's so far removed from the original, that it took me a while to realize who that's based on. Since I Ass Phlegm's Dribble Sheppard didn't make it, I guess I'll look like an racist and vote for Malcolm Xcrement... (though I wish it was Malcom X-Lax instead)

Smear Kid (not verified) -- 08.27.2003

i really liked the britney smears one haha, cause i hate her

Jennifer loves to poo shit (not verified) -- 09.26.2003

It is definitely time to re-open this contest. There are too many good names left out of the fromer rounds. Just a few examples are:

Tom Smellick

Connie Smelleca

Bowelerie Squirtinelli

Kristin Scat Thomas

Sean William Scat

Cameron Doo-ass

Smelly Clarkson

Marla Sokoloaf

Jennifer Crapiati

Elt on-John

Olivia Newt on-John

Winona Wiper

Catherine Shitta-Jones (not verified) -- 09.29.2003

Jennifer,you should have added:<