** GRAND PRIZE ** For the winner: a copy of The Journal of Ass Production!

The_Brown_Word Declares Victory

My original motivation for entering this contest was to get a free Journal of Ass Production. Even though I am employed, I make little enough money to qualify for a space of my own on the PoopReport job board. However, as the brownstorming went on, I became markedly posessed by the spirit of competition. In my opinion, Encourage the Cowardly Log was the best of my entries, so I'm glad that it won. I'm also glad that I can take that four dollars I would've used to buy the Journal, and perhaps treat myself to some Cottonelle Moist Wipes.

Thank you, and good night.

G RAS CONCEDES

OK, I have to admit I am a little pissed that I didn't win, because I am out of clean T-shirts and I am to lazy to do laundry... although I couldn't have lost to a better entry. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how deep the parallels were between Encourage the Cowardly Log and my own battles with constipation. I'm always "encouraging" my own cowardly logs, so had to laugh when I realized the parallel that The Brown Word penned. A hands down winner. I only wish my own agoraphobic logs were as loyal as Encourage the Cowardly Log.

ASS PHLGEM CONCEDES

Well, I'm glad the best man (woman) won. I don't know who voted for my entry "Skids Incorporated", but it was hardly a worthy entry. I guess I appreciate the support from my fellow PoopReporters, though. Just to let everyone know, I voted for Encourage the Cowardly Log. I think everyone would agree when I say that we have seen better contests in the past, but then again, I guess they can't all be gems, right?

Maybe after The Brown Word receives her prize, "The Journal of Ass Production, she'll "encourage" the rest of you to pick up a copy after seeing how awesome it is! (a little shameless promotion for Dave)

NOTE TO THE JUDGES: What about my other entries? Asstardley & Buttley, Barbaploppa or even George of the Bunghole! You guys are doo doo heads! You're all big, fat doo doo heads!

(sorry, that was the five-year-old Ass Phlegm speaking. I almost typed, "sorry, that was the five-year-old inside of me," but I realized what a field day you guys would have had with that major mistake!)

Congrats to The Brown Word!

THREEPLY CONCEDES

I thought for sure this one was in the can for me, since I work for PBS. All day long my co-workers and I put these crappy kids shows on the air, and we have names for them all. However, I kindly tip my hat to The Brown Word and concede victory. Encourage the Cowardly Log is pure genius. While I was hoping that The Brownstain Bears would do better, it appeared my Clifford the Big Brown Log came in as the runner up. Enjoy your new Journal Of Ass Production, The Brown Word.

Final Standings Encourage the Cowardly Log -- by the_brown_word  31 votes Clifford the Big Brown Log -- by ThreePly  23 votes Dexter's Lavatory -- by G Ras  22 votes The Brownstain Bears -- by ThreePly  17 votes Skids Incorporated -- by Ass Phlegm  16 votes votes: 109