PoopReporters submitted over a hundred ideas (click here for the full entry list). Five finalists were chosen. 245 poopers made their voices heard. The results are below.

Stihl Chainsaws "We can handle any log." -- by Soggy  83 votes SERVPRO Cleanup & Restoration "Like it never even happened." -- by pokeylittlepoopy  58 votes Dr. Scholl's One Step Corn Remover "Wipes out every last kernel." -- by Turd Hugegrunt  44 votes Seattle Tourism Board "Going where the sun don't shine." -- by Turdmatic 6000  39 votes Progressive Auto Insurance "Not what you'd expect from an insurance agency." -- by Liquidy_poo  21 votes votes: 245 Thanks to Chris Rockwell, Cliff, Harry Pooter, Trevor, The Crapitalist and Jenny for helping pick the finalists.

Congratulations to Soggy, who, as a reward for his indisputable comic genius, will receive both a copy of The Journal of Ass Production AND the roll of WE promotional toilet paper that kicked off this whole thing. Soggy says:

Fellow Poopreporters,

I am genuinely honored to have won this contest. In the general pecking order of seniority at PoopReport, I would have to be considered an intern. Although I have only been visiting the site for a few months now, I believe all of you have always been my peers. It is we who laugh the loudest during poop humor in movies. It is we who giggle uncontrollably when witnessing a funny poop incident, like the faces dogs make when they are pinching a loaf. And it is we who have been telling funny poop stories since before PoopReport or the Internet even existed.

I have heard it said that the only constants in life are taxes and death. But taxes are only paid once a year, and death is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. I assert that pooping is the greatest constant on earth. I know I make brownies at least twice a day. Pooping is the most universal and binding (pun intended) act known to man.

In closing, thank you to my fellow PoopReporters for the votes. Thank you to Dave for giving us this wonderful forum to discuss all of the intricacies of poop. And thank you to all who entered their great submissions to this contest and to the website in general. You all make my life more enjoyable. In short, thank you.