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poop culture

CONTEST #7: Unintentional Poop Lyrics

Posted 01.09.2002 by Dave (11578)
** FIRST PRIZE **
feces farms
The winner will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms!
Any song can be interpreted more than one way. Hotel California, for instance --- some say it's about drugs. Others say its about insanity. Still others say its about a fancy Napa Valley motor lodge.

That's why we don't find it odd that, based on our interpretations, it seems that a lot of songwriters write songs about poop.

This contest is to find song lyrics that are funny when you pretend they're about dookie.

RULES:

  1. No one-liners. "Lyrics" is plural. An entry must have at least three lines to be accepted.
  2. Hopefully you find a famous song, or a famous artist.
  3. Don't spam me with 500 entries. Stick to the really funny ones.

Thanks to Chip Brown (as always) for inspiring the idea for this contest, and thanks to Feces Farms (as always) for the prizes.
This contest is closed. See the final results here.


Unintentional Poop Lyrics:

Salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect
Want you to push it babe
Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know
How to become number one in a hot spot
Now push it

"Push It" by Salt 'N Pepa
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Dave.


I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down,
and the flames went higher
and it burns, burns, burns,
the ring of fire.

"Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Dave.


Once you dig in,
you'll find it coming out the other side.
Once you dig in,
you'll find you're having such a good time.

"Dig In" by Lenny Kravitz
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Chip Brown.


I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

"The Longest Time" by Billy Joel
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Doc Brown.


When you sleep where do your fingers go?
what do your fingers know
what do your fingers show

"When You Sleep" by Cake
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


Of all your loaded mysteries
The colour of your sympathies
My words cannot express
your awful loveliness

"Night Wind Sent" by Blondie
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


I know that I can't take no more
It ain't no lie
I wanna see you out that door
Babye bye bye (bye bye)

"Bye Bye Bye" by N*SYNC
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jaybowel.


I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show

"I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Tony.


I saw it in the mirror when I look into my eyes
'Cause something sure is wrong when this boy cries

"I Saw it in the Mirror" by Abba
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


But now I can't hold it - hold it
Flash a frozen smile when it boils down inside.
No now I can't hold it - hold it
Just a little crack...

"Feel It" by Sister Hazel
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


It's over and I'm overwhelmed
I'm emptied out like a dusty shelf
You buried me - and I'm covered in shame

"Shame on Me" by Sister Hazel
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


Blistered skin turning red
I can't complain
it's something to do

"Scar" by Fuel
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob.


I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah--that's right
I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide, oh no
Yeah I've got a feeling
Oh please believe me
I'd hate to miss the train oh yeah

"I've Got a Feeling" by The Beatles
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah.


Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch.
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singin',
Doo, doo, doo, Lookin' out my back door.

"Lookin' Out My Back Door" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah.


Say goodbye, say goodbye,
It takes a second to say goodbye,
Push the button and pull the plug, say goodbye

"Seconds" by U2
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah.


You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time

"Thirller" by Michael Jackson
--- Posted 1.9.02002 by Doc Brown.


--- ADDED 1.10---
Death Star something so incredible
Something indestructible
Massive and Maniacle
Teeny weeny vulnerable hole

"Death Star" by The Presidents of the United States of America
--- Posted 1.10.02002 by Chip Brown.


Like a rock, chargin' from the gate
Like a rock, carryin' the weight
Like a rock

"Like a Rock" by Bob Seger
--- Posted 1.10.02002 by Chip Brown.


But now it's time for me to go,
The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain,
And with it pain,
And it's headed my way.
Ah, sometimes I grow so tired,
But I know I've got one thing I got to do

"Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin
--- Posted 1.10.02002 by Pete Pooperman.


Baby, baby
I'm gonna bring it on home to you.
I've got my ticket, I've got that load.
Got up, gone higher, all aboard.
Take my seat, right way back. ooh yeah
Watch this train roll down the track.
I'm gonna bring it on home, Bring it on home to you.
Watch out, watch out, man move

"Bring It Home" by Led Zeppelin
--- Posted 1.10.02002 by Pete Pooperman.


--- ADDED 1.11---
Stand back!
What are those dogs doing sniffing at my feet
They're on to something, picking up, picking up, this heat
This heat, give me steam

"Steam" by Peter Gabriel
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob.


Something in me, dark and sticky
All the time it's getting strong
No way of dealing with this feeling
Can't go on like this too long

"Digging in the Dirt" by Peter Gabriel
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob.


Got fire in your veins
Burnin' hot but you don't feel the pain
Your desire is insane
You can't stop until you do it again...
You say its urgent
So urgent
I know it's urgent
I try and tell you it's the same for me
Oo-ooh emergency
Yeah urgent

"Urgent" by Foreigner
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob.


Taking care of business every day
Taking care of business every way
I've been taking care of business, it's all mine
Taking care of business and working overtime
Work out!

"Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Artful Dodger.


I hear hurricanes ablowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin

"Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Artful Dodger.


This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches
Push it, make the beats go harder
Push it, make the beats go harder
Come on push it, you can do it
Come on prove it, nothing to it
Come on use it, lets get through it
Come on push it, you can do it

"Push It" by Garbage
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Brian.


Hello again, hello
Just called to say 'hello'
I couldn't sleep at all tonight
And I know it's late
But I couldn't wait
Hello

"Hello Again" by Neil Diamond
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium.


Where it began
I can't begin to knowin'
But then I know it's growing strong
Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who'd have believed you'd come along

"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium.


Cracklin' Rosie, make me a smile
God if it lasts for an hour, that's all right
We got all night
To set the world right

"Cracklin' Rosie" by Neil Diamond
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium.


Did you see the frightened ones?
Did you hear the falling bombs?
The flames are all gone, but the pain lingers on.

"Blue Sky" by Pink Floyd
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff.


Nobody knows where you are,
How near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers

"Wish You Were Here (Parts 6-9)" by Pink Floyd
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff.


Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled

"Learning to Fly (Parts 6-9)" by Pink Floyd
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff.


Mystery swelling, creatures crawling
Hear the roar get louder in your ears
You know the folly was your own
But the force behind can't conquer all your fears

"The Narrow Way III" by Pink Floyd
--- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff.


--- ADDED 1.14---
Feel the pressure,
Feel the squeeze,
The eyes in your head,
The heart in your chest,
Where's the answer?
Where's the release?
What do you do?

"What Do You Do" by Rollins Band
--- Posted 1.14.02002 by Colon Bowell.


It's not enough. I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it. I just need it.
To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive.
Finger deep within the borderline

"Stinkfist" by Tool
--- Posted 1.14.02002 by Em.


doo-doo, doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo
let's get the party started
we're all born to stay up late
no one gets out of this one
no one gets out of this

"Antipop" by Matthew Good Band
--- Posted 1.14.02002 by Disco Poo.


Well, you're in your little room
and you're workin' on somthin' good
but if its really good,
you're gonna need a bigger room

"Little Room" by White Stripes
--- Posted 1.14.02002 by Kat.


--- ADDED 1.15 ---
Oooh, that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Oooh, that smell
The smell of Death surrounds you

"That Smell" by Lynard Skynard
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Brent Campbell.


There's a fire in the hole (hey hey hey hey hey)
Fire
Sweet 'n' sour, filiblister
Faucet pouring, fresh 'n' bitter
Come on smile and say cheese
On a count of three
Ya got a mindful of decavities

"Fire in the Hole" by Van Halen
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Leah.


When the wind begins
You're never anywhere
'Cause you're caught in my
weather every time...

"Finger Eleven" by First Time
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Leah.


Rescue me, should I go down
If I stay too long in trouble town
Oh, yeah, you wreck me, baby
You break me in two
But you move me, honey

"Finger Eleven" by First Time
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Dennis.


Well, shake it up, baby, now, (shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout. (twist and shout)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out. (work it on out)

"Twist and Shout" by The Beatles
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Val.


Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

"Can't Fight this Feeling" by REO Speedwagon
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Jenni.


But in the meantime
I'm gonna have me some fun
Waiting for the big one.

"The Big One" by Peter Gabriel
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller.


Me sail the ship all alone
Me never thinks me make it home
Louie Louie, me gotta go
Louie Louie, me gotta go

"Louie, Louie" by Richard Berry
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller.


I'm on my way -- I'm making it
big time big time
I've got to make it show yeah
big time big time
so much larger than life
big time
I'm going to watch it growing
big time

"Big Time" by Peter Gabriel
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller.


I found me a reason
To check me tomorrow
We'll see if I'm leaking
Push and push and push 'til it hurts...

"Hello Time Bomb" by Matthew Good Band
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by Disco Poo.


Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

"Ruaway Train" by Soul Asylum
--- Posted 1.15.02002 by MelloYello.


--- ADDED 1.16 ---
Hurts so good
Come on baby make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don't feel like it should
You make it...hurt so good

"Hurts So Good" by John Cougar Mellencamp
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Three Ply.


I can't get no
satisfaction
I tried, and I tried and I tried and I tried.
I can't get no
satisfaction

"Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs.


What do you get when you guzzle down sweets,
eating as much as an elephant eats?
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?
I don't like the look of it

"Oompa Loompa Song" by The Oompa Loompas
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs.


I can't conceal it
Don't you see?
Can't you feel it?
Don't you too?
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

"I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do" by Abba
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter.


She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter when it's gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows
She comes and goes
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday...

"Ruby Tuesday" by The Rolling Stones
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter.


I feel the pressure from my family,
pressure from my friends.
Pressure from inside of me,
this is where it ends!
Oh! What'll i do? Gotta let it out!
Steam! Teen Steam! Gotta let it out! Gottaletitout.

"Teen Steam" by Alyssa Milano (from her "Teen Steam" workout video)
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter.


It's good to see you, baby, it's been a long, long while
We're both a whole lot older and seen a lot of miles
But things are really different now, since the good old days
And you've been in some trouble, since we went our separate ways

"My Wife Thinks You're Dead" by Junior Brown
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by JukeBoxCharlie.


Ubiquitous
Compelling too,
It clings to you like crazy glue

"Recipe for Hate" by Bad Religion
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K.


Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me,
No more.

"What is Love?" by Haddaway
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K.


Struggle within,
(it suits you fine)
Struggle within,
(your ruin)
Struggle within,
(you seal your own coffin)
Struggle within,
the struggling within.

"The Struggle Within" by Metallica
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K.


Hold my breath
as I wish for death;
Oh please God help me!

"One" by Metallica
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K.


I'm sorry to have taken so long
It must have been a bitch while I was gone
You mind if I sit down for a while
You'll reacquaint yourself with my style

"100,000 Years" by Kiss
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K.


Yo! Come on move this! Shake that body!
Baby let me show you how to ... do this
You gotta ... move this. You gotta .. move that
You gotta moo-ooo-oove moo-ooo-oove
Move this and groove it. Shake that body for me.

"Move This" by Tekotronic
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter.


Doo, doo doo do, doo doo, doo do.
Can't touch this!
Doo, doo doo do, doo doo, doo do.
Can't touch this!

"Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
--- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs.


--- ADDED 1.17 ---
All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's strings can last

"All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now
So good, so good, I got you

"I Feel Good" by James Brown
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Sittin' in the morning sun,
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come.
Watchin' the ships roll in,
Then I watch 'em roll away again.
Yeah, I'm sittin on the dock of the bay

"Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


I just lose control
Down to my very soul
I get hot and cold all over
I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down

"I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


You may be high
You may be low
You may be rich child
you may be poor
but when the Lord gets ready
you gotta move

"You Gotta Move" by The Rolling Stones
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
Though the streams are swollen...
Keep them doggies rollin'
Rawhide!

"Rawhide" by The Blues Brothers
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

"Moon River" by Frank Sinatra
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

"Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs.


I woke today...
And felt your side of bed
The covers were still warm where you'd been layin'.

"Looks Like Rain" by Grateful Dead
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch.


Things are falling down on me
Heavy things I could not see
When I finally came around
Something small would pin me down
So I try, to step aside.

"Heavy Things" by Phish
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch.


But now since I see you in his arms
(I want you back) Yes I do now
(I want you back) Yeah, yeah, yeah
(I want you back)

"I Want You Back" by The Jackson 5
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch.


I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay
It's burning within me
The fear of losing
Of slipping away
It just keeps getting closer, baby

"Don't Wanna Lose You Now" by The Backstreet Boys
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Assblaster2000.


We ain't gonna give anybody any slack.
And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back,
and you know we're
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody 'cause we're gonna do our thing.

"Hangin' Tough" by New Kids on the Block
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Assblaster2000.


She's got big thoughts,
big dreams,
and a big brown Mercedes sedan.

"Glamourous Life" by Shiela E.
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K.


Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first,
or how the pressure was fed.

"Papercut" by Linkin Park
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K.


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,
consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending.

"Crawling" by Linkin Park
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K.


Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore;
Not that you knew me back then,
but it all comes back to me in the end.
You kept everything inside.

"In The End" by Linkin Park
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K.


Don't you know
if you change,
Things will go your way
if you hold on
for one more day.

"Hold On" by Wilson Phillips
--- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K.


--- ADDED 1.18 ---
Now that I know that the right time has come,
My prediction will surely be true
The impending disaster it looms
And the whole of the village is doomed

"The Prophecy" by Iron Maiden
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Kyle K.


22, the avenue; That's the place where we all go. You will find it's warm inside.
"22 Acacia Avenue" by Iron Maiden
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Kyle K.


But if you do right to me, baby,
I'll do right to you, too.
Ya got to do unto others
Like you'd have them, like you'd have them, do unto you.

"Do Right To Me Baby" by Bob Dylan
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Trial under fire
Ultimate proof
Moment of crisis
Don't swallow the truth

"Stick It Out" by Rush
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs.


And from the first time that she really done me,
oo, she done me, she done me good.
I guess nobody ever really done me,
oo, she done me, she done me good.
Don't let me down, don't let me down.

"Don't Let Me Down" by The Beatles
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Falling away from me
It's spinning round and round
falling away from me
It's lost and can't be found
falling away from me
It's spinning round and round
falling away from me

"Falling Away From Me" by Korn
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


I never knew how much you meant to me
I need you and when you go go go go
I know, it never ends, never ends

"When it's Over" by Sugar Ray
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


Keep pushin, keep pushin, you know you have got to be so strong
Keep pushin, keep pushin, well even if you think your strength is gone
Keep pushin on

"Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin On" by REO Speedwagon
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


Come
As you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As an old enemy
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is yours
Don't be late

"Come As You Are" by REO Nirvana
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000.


If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
So now go
Go out the door
Just turn around, now
Cause you're not welcome anymore.

"I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Vag Punch.


And you spin in the slipstream
tideless - unreasoning -
paddle right out of the mess.

"Slipstream" by Jethro Tull
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by Vag Punch.


Please release me, let me go
For I don't love you any more
To waste our lives would be a sin
Release me and let me love again.

"Please Release Me (Let Me Go)" by Engelbert Humperdink
--- Posted 1.18.02002 by J. Brown.


--- ADDED 1.21 ---
The liquid surrounds me,
I fight to rise from this river of hell
I stare round bout me,
children are swimming and playing with boats

"Domino II (The Last Domino)" by Genesis
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman.


I'm comin down, comin down like a monkey
Ooh, but it's allright
It's like a load on your back that you can't see,
don't you know it's allright
I got to cut it loose, set it free, let it go,
just get it away from me, oooohh

"Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" by Genesis
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman.


No one knew where the cracks came from, but they suddenly dissapeared
Stone fell like rain
can you see me,
can you hear me,
don't you see me,
can you breathe?

"Driving The Last Spike" by Genesis
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman.


Riding along in my balabose.
Still trying to get her belt a loose.
All the way home I held a grudge.
For the safety belt it wouldn't budge.
Cruisin' and playin' the radio.
With no particular place to go.

"No Particular Place To Go" by Chuck Berry
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


You went away and left me a long time ago.
And now your knockin' on my door.
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in.
I hear you knockin' go back where you've been.

"I Hear You Knockin'" by Dave Edmunds
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs.
I'm feelin' nervous but it sure is fun.
Come on baby, you drive me crazy.
Goodness gracious great balls of fire.

"Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on...
Woo, set me free, why don't cha babe
Woo, get out my life, why don't cha babe
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe

"You Keep Me Hangin' On" by The Supremes
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


Your Time Is Gonna Come
Your Time Is Gonna Come
Made up my mind to break you this time,
Won't be so fine, it's my turn to cry.
Do want you want, I won't take the brunt.
It's fadin' away, can't feel you anymore.
Don't care what you say 'cause I'm goin' away to stay,
Gonna make you pay for that great big hole in my heart.

"Time Is Gonna Come" by Led Zeppelin
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

"MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs.


It's a crack, I'm back yeah standing
On the rooftops shouting out
Baby I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go

"Ready To Go" by Republica
--- Posted 1.21.02002 by Assblaster2000.


--- ADDED 1.22 ---
I'm so excited,
And I just can't hide it,
I'm about to lose control,
And I think I like it!

"I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters
--- Posted 1.22.02002 by Colon Bowell.


You're so fine,
So bright and shiney fine,
And I'm proud to say,
That you in fact are a friend of mine,
And doubly pleased
With crooked and wobbly knees,
I dive right in and backstroke right
Across these seas of cheese.

"Dirty Drowning Man" by Primus
--- Posted 1.22.02002 by Colon Bowell.


It's always hit me from below.
This time around it's more correct
Right on target, so direct

"You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" by Bob Dylan
--- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch.


Don't know how I'm gonna tell you
I can't play with you no more
Don't know how I'm gonna do what Mama told me

"That's The Way" by Led Zeppelin
--- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch.


Well, you know by night I'm gonna shake 'em down
Your custard pie, yeah, sweet and nice
When you cut it, mama, save me a slice
Your custard pie, I declare, it's sweet and nice
I Like your custard pie
When you cut it, mama... mama, please save me a slice.
"Custard Pie" by Led Zeppelin
--- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch.



This contest is closed. See the final results here.
Pete Pooperman (19) -- 01.10.2002

OK, I've got to speak out against the fact that someone actually knows the lyrics to an N'Sphinc (yes I know how to spell it...it's a joke) song. What is this world coming to when wholesome poop contests are subject to the kind of filth spread by boy bands? Hahahahahahaha! Remember this: the boy bands will eventually hit puberty, but Poop is forever my friends!!!

Jaybowel (73) -- 01.10.2002

Pete: The contest was not to pick "quality music with poop lyrics" it was merely to pick poop lyrics. At any rate, as N*SYNC is crap, so it's no surprise to me that they wrote lyrics about crap. As to knowing the words, anyone who's ever walked past a radio playing that stuff is guaranteed to get it stuck in their heads. Owning the album is not a requirement.

Pete Pooperman (19) -- 01.10.2002

Fair enough. But I guess the sarcasm of my post was lost. It was a shot at N'Sync (and, yes, admittedly a small shot against you...sorry, but I'm still not buying the explanation). Anyway, just some good natured ribbing on the poop pages. Treat it like a loose stool and let it slide....

anonymous (not verified) -- 01.11.2002

So far, the best are:

"When You Sleep" by Cake
"Push It" by Garbage
"Urgent" by Foreigner
"Digging in the Dirt" by Peter Gabriel

Rumpled Foreskin (not verified) -- 01.11.2002

Okay it's one thing to talk about shit but I draw the line at Neil Diamond. What the fuck, the be-all-end-all Jesus Fuckin' Anti-Christ. It's the seventh sign of the apocolypse when someone at this website is quoting Neil Diamond lyrics. Pray for the children.

Jeff B (159) -- 01.11.2002

Not to create a pissing contest, but for the record, a portion of Neil's work is extraordinary. Especially his mod rock stuff from the sixties and seventies. Sure, he's a cheese ball, but no one can possibly write-off his entire library as garbage. Good use of his lyrics though! That I can agree with

doniker (1535) -- 01.11.2002

As a matter of fact, I got Neil Diamond's latest Greatest Hits CD for Xmas 2001 and it is probably one of the best CD's I have ever heard. I love Metallica and Marilyn Manson, but I can listen to the Beach Boys and Carly Simon as well. Music is art...not liking something because your stupid friends might call you a dork in foolish.

Crapmonster (19) -- 01.14.2002

I have to admit I'm not too impressed with the entries so far. Then again I haven't been able to come up with anything better. ok, I'll shut up now.

Leah (not verified) -- 01.14.2002

...There's a fire in the hole
Fire in the hole
There's a fire in the hole (hey hey hey hey hey)
Fire

Sweet 'n' sour, filiblister
Faucet pouring, fresh 'n' bitter
Come on smile and say cheese
On a count of three
Ya got a mindful of decavities
Hey!...

Van Halen
Fire in the Hole

Neil (not verified) -- 01.14.2002

Runnin' down the road,
tryin' to loosen my load,
I've got 7 women on my mind.
Eagles - Take it easy

John White (not verified) -- 01.15.2002

If the mountain
Fell in the sea
Let it be
It ain't me
And if 6
turned out to be 9
I don't mind
I don't mind

--Jimi Hendrix "If 6 Was 9"

Dave (11578) -- 01.15.2002

Hey! Don't submit your entries here. This is the comments form! The entry form is above.

Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 01.15.2002

The Best Line is the Lenny Kravitz. Just too funny.

Neil Diamond (not verified) -- 01.15.2002

Doniker, thanks for buying my latest "Greatest Hits" CD. You, my mother, Bea Arthur and George Hamilton bought the only four copies printed. thanks for your support. Oopps, just shit myself again. Where's my diaper?

doniker (1535) -- 01.16.2002

jealousy is an ugly emotion.

Hairy Pooter (111) -- 01.16.2002

It's pretty funny to read all of these at once! I can't believe I didn't think of Twist and Shout. That's such a good one! As a side note, I can remember my sisters and I playing on our swingset when we were little and singing Pink Floyd's "The Wall" Only that time, the lyrics were

We don't need no toilet paper. We don't need to wipe our butts.

Vag Punch (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

Those Linkin Park ones are so horrible. I can't believe someone even submitted them.

Vag Punch (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

Actually, I changed my mind, they're pretty funny. I still hate Linkin Park though.

Vag Punch (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

If you're not laughing at my Phish one, you have no imagination.

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.18.2002

Everyone took my Ideas!!! I have been gone for a while, at least I have some reserves.

Crapmonster (19) -- 01.18.2002

I can feel it coming in the air tonight,
Oh lord,
I've been waiting for this moment all my life,
Oh lord,

Air tonight, by genesis

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.19.2002

Thats not genesis, its phil collins off his first solo album face value, it's a common "misunderstanding!" get it?

doniker (1535) -- 01.19.2002

who gives a fuck about phil collins or genesis anyway....its all fucking boring elevator music. If I never ever heard another phil collins or genesis song for the rest of my life I am certain I wouldn't be missing anything.

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.20.2002

Thats ok to have an opinion.

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.20.2002

genesis sold so many records I don't think they care if they never make another penny. midi files exist for almost every genesis song ever made, a feat only mached by the beatles and a few other short lived artists

doniker (1535) -- 01.20.2002

What I said really bothers you, doesn't it. Your an idiot. What has Genesis and/or Phil Collins ever done for you? If they ever met you they would probably spit in your eye. Most famous multi millionaire rock stars and actors, etc. are arrogant pricks who don't give a fuck about the common man after they take their money. Your a fucking sap.

Phil Collins (not verified) -- 01.21.2002

Fella's, settle down. I know I'm one of the greatest performers of all time. Believe me, I really do appreciate you buying my records. But if you ever see me and Sting driving in our Jaguars, get the fuck out of the way you American pieces of shit.

Phil Collins (not verified) -- 01.21.2002

One more thing, Neil Diamond sucks!

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.22.2002

My father knew Peter Cetera, Jaco Pastores, and some other rock stars, they are people like me and you. Neil Diamond sucks!

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.22.2002

I also have met Wilt Chamberlin on several occasions, always a gentleman, rest in peace wilt.

Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

Dog poo dropping on tin cans makes better music than Phil Collins. He is terrible with or with out Genesis. SHOCK THE MONKEY!

doniker (1535) -- 01.22.2002

Who the fuck are Peter Cetera and Jaco Pastores ??
They can't be "STARS", I've never heard of them. Oh wait, isn't Peter Cetera that dork that was in Chicago...when they were old and they sucked??
And sure Wilt was cool after he was old and washed up. When he was young and a star we would have stepped on you. Someone who banged 20,000 chicks wouldn't have time for you.

Lord Shpinctron (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

You fucking imbecile, Peter Gabriel did SHOCK THE MONKEY!

Jeff B (159) -- 01.22.2002

DONIKER!!! Jaco was the bass player for the Weather Report, one of the most famous Jazz fusion bands ever. He was beaten to death by a bouncer, abruptly ending the career of who was possibly the best bass player to ever live.

Peter Cetera. DUH!!! HE WAS THE SINGER FOR 'CHICAGO'!!!

doniker (1535) -- 01.22.2002

Doniker ain't hip on jazz fusion.
And you are right, Peter Cetera is an original member of Chicago..Doniker done fucked up.
Well for the record, if Trashcanfag really did meet Peter Cetera, it was when Peter was washed up like Wilt.

Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

That was my point. ..that Gabreal Did Monkey. . ..I like Gabreal. . .Collins Sucks. . . I'm sorry if it was unclear.

Mya. . . (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

You don't have to be so rude either this is a friendly place. . . . . Even for Colins fans. We all people and we all poop.

Dave (11578) -- 01.22.2002

For the record, Charles Mingus was the best bass player to ever live. And for the record, Neil Diamond is quite talented and entertaining. And also for the record, Mya is right, no more name calling. Focus on poop.

Poop (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOoOOOoooo000000oooOOOOOOP

Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

here's my email (for the coward dealio)

doniker (1535) -- 01.22.2002

It's all Trashcanfag's fault....he irritates people to the point of hostility.
He should go hang out with ainseyjo on her favorite sites.

Hairy Pooter (111) -- 01.22.2002

HA HA HA HA HA! ROBFL!

Trashcanman (240) -- 01.22.2002

wow, did I do that?
Jaco is very famous, perhaps the most famous bass player in the world. My DAD met him, In a studio in Ft. Lauderdale, he was a recording engienier, and his friend was recording Jaco. I live around alot of famous people. I like Genesis, this is my opinion, no one can change that. I do like a neil diamond song on occasion, but I have only heard about 4 of them.

Anthony Banks (not verified) -- 01.22.2002

Fuck off, I sold more records than Neil Diamond!!!

Mya Butschtinks (not verified) -- 01.23.2002

I heard Tom Cruise is a homo

doniker (1535) -- 01.23.2002

so what's your point?

Mya (not verified) -- 01.23.2002

Just heard it. . . .Had a great poo today. Clean drop and all.

doniker (1535) -- 01.23.2002

I heard weeks, if not months ago that Tom Cruise has an extensive all male porn collection but that he only watchs it and jacks off...he claims he doesn't commit homosexual acts.

Geo (not verified) -- 01.24.2002

Too bad the contest is over. I would have submitted "Drop it In The Slot" by Tower of Power

Vag Punch (not verified) -- 01.25.2002

Creed are a bunch of Jesus homos as well.

Pete Pooperman (19) -- 01.29.2002

dood............(it's poop backwards and upside down...thought I'd entertain a little)
Dave!!!??? How's the tailgrowing going? What a big pile of shit the comments section turned into this time, huh? I think I started it way back on the N'Sync thread up near the top. Sorry. I'll make it up to you next contest...with something witty and unexpected. Until then...keep the brown trout swimming!

Trashcanman (240) -- 02.01.2002

no, I started it with the Genesis talk.

Alex Paton (not verified) -- 11.11.2002

And all we're asking you to do,

Is to drop trowel,

And squeeze out a cleeveland steamer on my chest.

Tenacious-D Rock Your Socks

(I know this is a bit of a one liner but its so fucking great!)

Mara (not verified) -- 07.14.2003

... Holy hell, someone put two Matthew Good Band songs here. God bless you, whoever did - They're my favorite band and this made me laugh.

doniker (1535) -- 01.13.2004

reading my old comments are a trip....I don't remember saying this shit.
"alcohol soaked brain"

Justin (49) -- 06.30.2004

anna talk about a burning hole? listen to the great gig in the sky by pink floyd, now that sounds like someone with real rectal problems :P

poopmaster flex (not verified) -- 08.17.2004

here i am all broken harted
came to shit but only farted

Stranger (not verified) -- 06.06.2006

just one more night to make up for the loss of love and time
here comes the sun to rid this world of see through blood and swollen light.

Sunrise, sunset will you wash away the rain.
Sunrise, sunset can you wash away the pain.

This nightmare won't last long.
Are you scared to sing this song?
I'm right there by your side.
Tonight we've got a chance.

This nightmare won't last long.
Are you scared to sing this song?
I'm right there by your side.
Tonight we've got a chance.

Hum bunger (107) -- 04.30.2008

I was crying when I met you now I'm dying to forget you
love is sweet misery
I was crying just to get you now I'm dying 'cause I let you
do what you do down on me yea
Now there's not even breathing room between pleasure and pain

Aerosmith - Cryin'

Hum bunger (107) -- 04.30.2008

I cut my nails and I quiver my thumb
I'm really nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baba, you drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire

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i poop and i vote

 


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