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 CONTEST #7: Unintentional Poop LyricsPosted 01.09.2002 by Dave (11578)
That's why we don't find it odd that, based on our interpretations, it seems that a lot of songwriters write songs about poop. This contest is to find song lyrics that are funny when you pretend they're about dookie. RULES:
Thanks to Chip Brown (as always) for inspiring the idea for this contest, and thanks to
Feces Farms (as always) for the prizes.
Unintentional Poop Lyrics:Salt and Pepa's here and we're in effectWant you to push it babe Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know How to become number one in a hot spot Now push it "Push It" by Salt 'N Pepa --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Dave. I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire. "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Dave. Once you dig in, you'll find it coming out the other side. Once you dig in, you'll find you're having such a good time. "Dig In" by Lenny Kravitz --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Chip Brown. I don't care what consequence it brings I have been a fool for lesser things I want you so bad I think you ought to know that I intend to hold you for the longest time "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Doc Brown. When you sleep where do your fingers go? what do your fingers know what do your fingers show "When You Sleep" by Cake --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. Of all your loaded mysteries The colour of your sympathies My words cannot express your awful loveliness "Night Wind Sent" by Blondie --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. I know that I can't take no more It ain't no lie I wanna see you out that door Babye bye bye (bye bye) "Bye Bye Bye" by N*SYNC --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jaybowel. I'm coming out I want the world to know Got to let it show "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Tony. I saw it in the mirror when I look into my eyes 'Cause something sure is wrong when this boy cries "I Saw it in the Mirror" by Abba --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. But now I can't hold it - hold it Flash a frozen smile when it boils down inside. No now I can't hold it - hold it Just a little crack... "Feel It" by Sister Hazel --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. It's over and I'm overwhelmed I'm emptied out like a dusty shelf You buried me - and I'm covered in shame "Shame on Me" by Sister Hazel --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. Blistered skin turning red I can't complain it's something to do "Scar" by Fuel --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Jacob. I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah--that's right I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide, oh no Yeah I've got a feeling Oh please believe me I'd hate to miss the train oh yeah "I've Got a Feeling" by The Beatles --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah. Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, oh boy! Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch. Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singin', Doo, doo, doo, Lookin' out my back door. "Lookin' Out My Back Door" by Creedence Clearwater Revival --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah. Say goodbye, say goodbye, It takes a second to say goodbye, Push the button and pull the plug, say goodbye "Seconds" by U2 --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Sarah. You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind You're out of time "Thirller" by Michael Jackson --- Posted 1.9.02002 by Doc Brown. --- ADDED 1.10--- Death Star something so incredible Something indestructible Massive and Maniacle Teeny weeny vulnerable hole "Death Star" by The Presidents of the United States of America --- Posted 1.10.02002 by Chip Brown. Like a rock, chargin' from the gate Like a rock, carryin' the weight Like a rock "Like a Rock" by Bob Seger --- Posted 1.10.02002 by Chip Brown. But now it's time for me to go, The autumn moon lights my way. For now I smell the rain, And with it pain, And it's headed my way. Ah, sometimes I grow so tired, But I know I've got one thing I got to do "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin --- Posted 1.10.02002 by Pete Pooperman. Baby, baby I'm gonna bring it on home to you. I've got my ticket, I've got that load. Got up, gone higher, all aboard. Take my seat, right way back. ooh yeah Watch this train roll down the track. I'm gonna bring it on home, Bring it on home to you. Watch out, watch out, man move "Bring It Home" by Led Zeppelin --- Posted 1.10.02002 by Pete Pooperman. --- ADDED 1.11--- Stand back! What are those dogs doing sniffing at my feet They're on to something, picking up, picking up, this heat This heat, give me steam "Steam" by Peter Gabriel --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob. Something in me, dark and sticky All the time it's getting strong No way of dealing with this feeling Can't go on like this too long "Digging in the Dirt" by Peter Gabriel --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob. Got fire in your veins Burnin' hot but you don't feel the pain Your desire is insane You can't stop until you do it again... You say its urgent So urgent I know it's urgent I try and tell you it's the same for me Oo-ooh emergency Yeah urgent "Urgent" by Foreigner --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Sarah's husband Rob. Taking care of business every day Taking care of business every way I've been taking care of business, it's all mine Taking care of business and working overtime Work out! "Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Artful Dodger. I hear hurricanes ablowing. I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers over flowing. I hear the voice of rage and ruin "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Artful Dodger. This is the noise that keeps me awake My head explodes and my body aches Push it, make the beats go harder Push it, make the beats go harder Come on push it, you can do it Come on prove it, nothing to it Come on use it, lets get through it Come on push it, you can do it "Push It" by Garbage --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Brian. Hello again, hello Just called to say 'hello' I couldn't sleep at all tonight And I know it's late But I couldn't wait Hello "Hello Again" by Neil Diamond --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium. Where it began I can't begin to knowin' But then I know it's growing strong Was in the spring And spring became the summer Who'd have believed you'd come along "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium. Cracklin' Rosie, make me a smile God if it lasts for an hour, that's all right We got all night To set the world right "Cracklin' Rosie" by Neil Diamond --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Tydirium. Did you see the frightened ones? Did you hear the falling bombs? The flames are all gone, but the pain lingers on. "Blue Sky" by Pink Floyd --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff. Nobody knows where you are, How near or how far. Shine on you crazy diamond. Pile on many more layers "Wish You Were Here (Parts 6-9)" by Pink Floyd --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff. Into the distance, a ribbon of black Stretched to the point of no turning back A flight of fancy on a windswept field Standing alone my senses reeled "Learning to Fly (Parts 6-9)" by Pink Floyd --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff. Mystery swelling, creatures crawling Hear the roar get louder in your ears You know the folly was your own But the force behind can't conquer all your fears "The Narrow Way III" by Pink Floyd --- Posted 1.11.02002 by Jeff. --- ADDED 1.14--- Feel the pressure, Feel the squeeze, The eyes in your head, The heart in your chest, Where's the answer? Where's the release? What do you do? "What Do You Do" by Rollins Band --- Posted 1.14.02002 by Colon Bowell. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive. Finger deep within the borderline "Stinkfist" by Tool --- Posted 1.14.02002 by Em. doo-doo, doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo let's get the party started we're all born to stay up late no one gets out of this one no one gets out of this "Antipop" by Matthew Good Band --- Posted 1.14.02002 by Disco Poo. Well, you're in your little room and you're workin' on somthin' good but if its really good, you're gonna need a bigger room "Little Room" by White Stripes --- Posted 1.14.02002 by Kat. --- ADDED 1.15 --- Oooh, that smell Can't you smell that smell? Oooh, that smell The smell of Death surrounds you "That Smell" by Lynard Skynard --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Brent Campbell. There's a fire in the hole (hey hey hey hey hey) Fire Sweet 'n' sour, filiblister Faucet pouring, fresh 'n' bitter Come on smile and say cheese On a count of three Ya got a mindful of decavities "Fire in the Hole" by Van Halen --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Leah. When the wind begins You're never anywhere 'Cause you're caught in my weather every time... "Finger Eleven" by First Time --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Leah. Rescue me, should I go down If I stay too long in trouble town Oh, yeah, you wreck me, baby You break me in two But you move me, honey "Finger Eleven" by First Time --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Dennis. Well, shake it up, baby, now, (shake it up, baby) Twist and shout. (twist and shout) C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby) Come on and work it on out. (work it on out) "Twist and Shout" by The Beatles --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Val. Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for And if I have to crawl upon the floor Come crushing through your door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore "Can't Fight this Feeling" by REO Speedwagon --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Jenni. But in the meantime I'm gonna have me some fun Waiting for the big one. "The Big One" by Peter Gabriel --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller. Me sail the ship all alone Me never thinks me make it home Louie Louie, me gotta go Louie Louie, me gotta go "Louie, Louie" by Richard Berry --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller. I'm on my way -- I'm making it big time big time I've got to make it show yeah big time big time so much larger than life big time I'm going to watch it growing big time "Big Time" by Peter Gabriel --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Cris Waller. I found me a reason To check me tomorrow We'll see if I'm leaking Push and push and push 'til it hurts... "Hello Time Bomb" by Matthew Good Band --- Posted 1.15.02002 by Disco Poo. Runaway train never comin' back Runaway train tearin' up the track Runaway train burnin' in my veins Runaway but it always seems the same "Ruaway Train" by Soul Asylum --- Posted 1.15.02002 by MelloYello. --- ADDED 1.16 --- Hurts so good Come on baby make it hurt so good Sometimes love don't feel like it should You make it...hurt so good "Hurts So Good" by John Cougar Mellencamp --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Three Ply. I can't get no satisfaction I tried, and I tried and I tried and I tried. I can't get no satisfaction "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs. What do you get when you guzzle down sweets, eating as much as an elephant eats? What are you at getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that? I don't like the look of it "Oompa Loompa Song" by The Oompa Loompas --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs. I can't conceal it Don't you see? Can't you feel it? Don't you too? I do, I do, I do, I do, I do "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do" by Abba --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter. She would never say where she came from Yesterday don't matter when it's gone While the sun is bright Or in the darkest night No one knows She comes and goes Goodbye Ruby Tuesday... "Ruby Tuesday" by The Rolling Stones --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter. I feel the pressure from my family, pressure from my friends. Pressure from inside of me, this is where it ends! Oh! What'll i do? Gotta let it out! Steam! Teen Steam! Gotta let it out! Gottaletitout. "Teen Steam" by Alyssa Milano (from her "Teen Steam" workout video) --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter. It's good to see you, baby, it's been a long, long while We're both a whole lot older and seen a lot of miles But things are really different now, since the good old days And you've been in some trouble, since we went our separate ways "My Wife Thinks You're Dead" by Junior Brown --- Posted 1.16.02002 by JukeBoxCharlie. Ubiquitous Compelling too, It clings to you like crazy glue "Recipe for Hate" by Bad Religion --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K. Baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, No more. "What is Love?" by Haddaway --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K. Struggle within, (it suits you fine) Struggle within, (your ruin) Struggle within, (you seal your own coffin) Struggle within, the struggling within. "The Struggle Within" by Metallica --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K. Hold my breath as I wish for death; Oh please God help me! "One" by Metallica --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K. I'm sorry to have taken so long It must have been a bitch while I was gone You mind if I sit down for a while You'll reacquaint yourself with my style "100,000 Years" by Kiss --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Kyle K. Yo! Come on move this! Shake that body! Baby let me show you how to ... do this You gotta ... move this. You gotta .. move that You gotta moo-ooo-oove moo-ooo-oove Move this and groove it. Shake that body for me. "Move This" by Tekotronic --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Hairy Pooter. Doo, doo doo do, doo doo, doo do. Can't touch this! Doo, doo doo do, doo doo, doo do. Can't touch this! "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer --- Posted 1.16.02002 by Mark McCombs. --- ADDED 1.17 --- All things must pass All things must pass away All things must pass None of life's strings can last "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now I feel good, I knew that I would, now So good, so good, I got you "I Feel Good" by James Brown --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. Sittin' in the morning sun, I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come. Watchin' the ships roll in, Then I watch 'em roll away again. Yeah, I'm sittin on the dock of the bay "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. I just lose control Down to my very soul I get hot and cold all over I feel the earth move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down "I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. You may be high You may be low You may be rich child you may be poor but when the Lord gets ready you gotta move "You Gotta Move" by The Rolling Stones --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' Though the streams are swollen... Keep them doggies rollin' Rawhide! "Rawhide" by The Blues Brothers --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. Moon river, wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style some day Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way "Moon River" by Frank Sinatra --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear You shout and no one seems to hear And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes I'll see you on the dark side of the moon "Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Mark McCombs. I woke today... And felt your side of bed The covers were still warm where you'd been layin'. "Looks Like Rain" by Grateful Dead --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch. Things are falling down on me Heavy things I could not see When I finally came around Something small would pin me down So I try, to step aside. "Heavy Things" by Phish --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch. But now since I see you in his arms (I want you back) Yes I do now (I want you back) Yeah, yeah, yeah (I want you back) "I Want You Back" by The Jackson 5 --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Vag Punch. I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay It's burning within me The fear of losing Of slipping away It just keeps getting closer, baby "Don't Wanna Lose You Now" by The Backstreet Boys --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Assblaster2000. We ain't gonna give anybody any slack. And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back, and you know we're Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough. Are you tough enough? Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough. We're rough. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Get loose everybody 'cause we're gonna do our thing. "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids on the Block --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Assblaster2000. She's got big thoughts, big dreams, and a big brown Mercedes sedan. "Glamourous Life" by Shiela E. --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K. Something in here's not right today Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left I don't know what stressed me first, or how the pressure was fed. "Papercut" by Linkin Park --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K. There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending. "Crawling" by Linkin Park --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K. Things aren't the way they were before You wouldn't even recognize me anymore; Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me in the end. You kept everything inside. "In The End" by Linkin Park --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K. Don't you know if you change, Things will go your way if you hold on for one more day. "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips --- Posted 1.17.02002 by Kyle K. --- ADDED 1.18 --- Now that I know that the right time has come, My prediction will surely be true The impending disaster it looms And the whole of the village is doomed "The Prophecy" by Iron Maiden --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Kyle K. 22, the avenue; That's the place where we all go. You will find it's warm inside. "22 Acacia Avenue" by Iron Maiden --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Kyle K. But if you do right to me, baby, I'll do right to you, too. Ya got to do unto others Like you'd have them, like you'd have them, do unto you. "Do Right To Me Baby" by Bob Dylan --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs. Trial under fire Ultimate proof Moment of crisis Don't swallow the truth "Stick It Out" by Rush --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs. And from the first time that she really done me, oo, she done me, she done me good. I guess nobody ever really done me, oo, she done me, she done me good. Don't let me down, don't let me down. "Don't Let Me Down" by The Beatles --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Mark McCombs. Falling away from me It's spinning round and round falling away from me It's lost and can't be found falling away from me It's spinning round and round falling away from me "Falling Away From Me" by Korn --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. I never knew how much you meant to me I need you and when you go go go go I know, it never ends, never ends "When it's Over" by Sugar Ray --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. Keep pushin, keep pushin, you know you have got to be so strong Keep pushin, keep pushin, well even if you think your strength is gone Keep pushin on "Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin, Keep Pushin On" by REO Speedwagon --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. Come As you are As you were As I want you to be As a friend As a friend As an old enemy Take your time Hurry up The choice is yours Don't be late "Come As You Are" by REO Nirvana --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Assblaster2000. If I had known for just one second You'd be back to bother me So now go Go out the door Just turn around, now Cause you're not welcome anymore. "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Vag Punch. And you spin in the slipstream tideless - unreasoning - paddle right out of the mess. "Slipstream" by Jethro Tull --- Posted 1.18.02002 by Vag Punch. Please release me, let me go For I don't love you any more To waste our lives would be a sin Release me and let me love again. "Please Release Me (Let Me Go)" by Engelbert Humperdink --- Posted 1.18.02002 by J. Brown. --- ADDED 1.21 --- The liquid surrounds me, I fight to rise from this river of hell I stare round bout me, children are swimming and playing with boats "Domino II (The Last Domino)" by Genesis --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman. I'm comin down, comin down like a monkey Ooh, but it's allright It's like a load on your back that you can't see, don't you know it's allright I got to cut it loose, set it free, let it go, just get it away from me, oooohh "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" by Genesis --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman. No one knew where the cracks came from, but they suddenly dissapeared Stone fell like rain can you see me, can you hear me, don't you see me, can you breathe? "Driving The Last Spike" by Genesis --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Trashcanman. Riding along in my balabose. Still trying to get her belt a loose. All the way home I held a grudge. For the safety belt it wouldn't budge. Cruisin' and playin' the radio. With no particular place to go. "No Particular Place To Go" by Chuck Berry --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. You went away and left me a long time ago. And now your knockin' on my door. I hear you knockin' but you can't come in. I hear you knockin' go back where you've been. "I Hear You Knockin'" by Dave Edmunds --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs. I'm feelin' nervous but it sure is fun. Come on baby, you drive me crazy. Goodness gracious great balls of fire. "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. Go on, get out, get out of my life And let me sleep at night 'Cause you don't really love me You just keep me hangin' on... Woo, set me free, why don't cha babe Woo, get out my life, why don't cha babe Set me free, why don't cha babe Get out my life, why don't cha babe "You Keep Me Hangin' On" by The Supremes --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. Your Time Is Gonna Come Your Time Is Gonna Come Made up my mind to break you this time, Won't be so fine, it's my turn to cry. Do want you want, I won't take the brunt. It's fadin' away, can't feel you anymore. Don't care what you say 'cause I'm goin' away to stay, Gonna make you pay for that great big hole in my heart. "Time Is Gonna Come" by Led Zeppelin --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. MacArthur Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left the cake out in the rain I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I'll never have that recipe again Oh, no! "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Mark McCombs. It's a crack, I'm back yeah standing On the rooftops shouting out Baby I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go "Ready To Go" by Republica --- Posted 1.21.02002 by Assblaster2000. --- ADDED 1.22 --- I'm so excited, And I just can't hide it, I'm about to lose control, And I think I like it! "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters --- Posted 1.22.02002 by Colon Bowell. You're so fine, So bright and shiney fine, And I'm proud to say, That you in fact are a friend of mine, And doubly pleased With crooked and wobbly knees, I dive right in and backstroke right Across these seas of cheese. "Dirty Drowning Man" by Primus --- Posted 1.22.02002 by Colon Bowell. It's always hit me from below. This time around it's more correct Right on target, so direct "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" by Bob Dylan --- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch. Don't know how I'm gonna tell you I can't play with you no more Don't know how I'm gonna do what Mama told me "That's The Way" by Led Zeppelin --- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch. Well, you know by night I'm gonna shake 'em down Your custard pie, yeah, sweet and nice When you cut it, mama, save me a slice Your custard pie, I declare, it's sweet and nice I Like your custard pie When you cut it, mama... mama, please save me a slice. "Custard Pie" by Led Zeppelin --- Posted 1.22.02002 by Vag Punch.
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