Be the first to own the book that's got everyone quivering with anticipation.

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It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Don't take this into the bathroom to read, lest your legs fall asleep.

(meh that was flaccid. Can't think today.)

I give this book two wipes up!

('nother lame-o :( )

"Today's best book about what you ate yesterday"

Sit down to a solid read, full of nuggets of wisdom and big chunks of humor.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Poop Culture: Much more than bathroom reading.

Poop Culture: An excuse to talk about poop without the social stigma.
******
Dave, send the book to Oprah. If she likes it, she might feature it in that book club of hers.

TBW, CEP, MQS -- your ads are up and running!

Poonanza: uh... keep trying.

Keep those entries coming!

Ok, mine's just a version of the PR site motto:

"The #1 book for America's #2 business."

I LOVE TBW's, but I would have said "--big chunks of corny humor" ;P

I'll have to think about this some more and get back to you.

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Buy this book to find out why you're too ashamed to buy this book!

Wow, Dave-O! That was quicker than a case of the runs in the Boston Marathon! (Your verdict on my entry, not the book! Heh!)

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Aww, Dave. I think "Two Wipes Up" is kinda cute!
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Hey! Don't touch my wenis!

If you give a shit you will buy this book.®

Now shipping in a Plain Brown Wrapper!©

A SPLASH HIT!™

Pithy poop tales, price.....peanuts.

"A must for any home"- Martha Poowart

NOT printed on recycled paper!

ACT NOW AND GET THAT NEW BOOK SMELL FOR FREE!!!

Bunga: HA!

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It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Got some Hairy Pooter and a number of Bungas in the rotation. Sweet!

"I squinted, I laughed, cried, grunted, groaned, admired this work...then I read Dave's book."

Here I try to go again....

"A must-read for anyone who has contemplated on the crapper."

"Nature calls-- And this book answers!"

"Poop Culture: The tome for your throne that hits home!"

Ok, maybe I tried to shit and only farted again.... butt it's the thought that counts! (I still like TBW's and Hairy Pooter's is as great as his name! :)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Pull up a warm stool and read all about it!

You'll be talking crap about this book for a long time.

The latest word in scatological findings.

Fascinated by poop? Disgusted by poop? Both camps can meet at the head and learn more about our grossest national product.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Chuck, Shitwit, Toots -- got some of yours up in the rotation.

For what it is worth, I thought of a couple more--

"A witty and insightful *anal*ysis from the guy who knows his shit."

"A cleverly com*piled* masterpiece-of-crap."

"Poop Culture: History in the making."

"Finally, someone had the GUTS to tell this story!"

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Update: with each ad having been viewed at least 15,000 times, here are the click-through percentages:

.12% poop culture 1 (dave)
.11% poop culture 2 (dave)
.17% poop culture 3 (mary queen)
.18% Poop culture 4 (CEP)
.16% Poop culture 5 (TBW)
.15% poop culture 6 (hairy pooter)
.18% poop culture 7 (bunga -- recycled)
.17% poop culture 8 (bunga new book smell)
.19% poop culture 9 (bunga -- splash hit)
.16% poop culture 10 (chuck)
.18% poop culture 11 (toots)
.15% poop culture 12 (shitwit)

As you can see, I clearly have no business being employed by the advertising industry.

Feel free to submit more ads!

"I was Bowled over!!"
Charles Slickens-Author of "A Tale of Two Shittys"

It'll leave you on the edge of your seat!!!

Dave (last name) has pushed out a winner with the first must-read of 2007!

Oops. The sub above should be from Patriotic Pooper - not Patriot Pooper ...

Much better than scats. Two bums up!

Awww.... where's "Poop Culture: History in the Making" ? I cracked myself up on that one! Not only is the book breaking ground and making history, it's about the history of pooping and how the nature of it impacts our culture, AND the twist, about "making" as another euphamism about producing elimination.... Well, I thought it was clever. I know you're busy but out of all the lame-o's I came up with, that was one of the better ones. (not saying much, I know, but still, funny on three levels? C'mon!).

As an aside: Very much enjoying seeing all our contributions up in lights with our amateur commercial advertising skills! Very exciting to see who's great line will pop up next! AND, today my order of 2 Poop Cultures (sounds like a medical request) are, and I quote, 'are being sent earlier than anticipated." Yay! I get mine and my dad's copy will be in time for his B-day! :)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

_the grand browneye version of todays poop culture dictionary"A-Z"______
fartqueen