I'm kind of bummed you didn't put my pictures up. Sigh. Well, I think...
GGG's is number 6.
Dave's is number 3.
Cyanocobalamin's is number 2.
AB2K's is number 5.
Dumpster's is number 1.
Logjam's is number 4.

I'm only sure of two of them, and the rest seem to be possible.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

_ logs is #1, gotta go girl is #2, assblaster is #3, Daves is #4.cyano is #5 , Dumpster is #6______
"show that turd who's boss"

1) Dave-O
2) AB2K
3) GGG
4) Cyanocobalamin
5) The Dumpster
6) Logjam

I don't have a lot to go on for some of these picks. I guess I'd get in trouble if I said a couple look more feminine than masculine. But, hey, I'm a wide-open guy about these things. May the best man or woman win this thing!

1. AssBlaster2000
2. Cyanocobalamin
3. Dave
4. Dumpster
5. Logjam
6. GottaGoGirl
Those are my guesses,...good luck to me!

Bathroom # 6 is SOOOOO much a guy bathroom. So let's say logjam. By the way, the brown
ring around the seat can be cleaned off
with windex !!!

Having kind of handled a bit of this contest (don't worry, I'm not entering), I must say it's hilarious how wrong some of you are. That is all.

I think I might have AB2K and GGG wrong, but I'll stick with my original decision if I have to. But I hope ya'll take my change into account.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The one thing these guesses have in common is that they are all over the map. A bunch of Miss Marples and Hercule Poirots we are not!

But I look forward to seeing if I got at least one right!

1.GGG
2.Cyano
3.Dave
4.Logjam
5.Dumpster
6.AB2K

_______
I poop because I am...I am because I poop.

I will sit this one out, but I do like seeing other people's bathrooms. I can hardly wait for the results. And Bathroom 6 comes with a cat! Awesome!

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

Yeah, that cat presented a problem. I tried to remember who had a cat, and I know daph has pets of all kinds, but her bathroom wasn't in there.

I probably didn't get any of them right.

1-logjam
2-ass blaste r2000
3-Dave
4-Cyanocobalamin
5-the dumpster
6-gotta go girl

Anonymous Coward, what if you won? How would we know who you were to give you your prize? Durrrrr!

Ok gotta use all my knowledge from the stories you guys gave me.

1. Dave

2. GottaGoGirl

3. Cyanocobalamin

4. LogJam

5. The Dumpster

6. Assblaster2000

Let me guess, I only got 1 person right?

Now this is difficult, my mentor and hero, Lieutenant Columbo, would be great at this puzzle...

Also reminds me a of a British television show called 'through the keyhole' with that assbandit Loyd Grossman, whereby he'd go into B-list celebrities homes and give clues as to who they belonged to...

I cite that the colour scheme in picture 2 leads to a female, so I'm going for AB2k. GGG has kids, so I'm going for number 6 as it looks more kiddie-oriented.

I'm going for Dumpster on number 4 as if he's as anally retentive about his bathroom cleanliness as he is on PR then this would be a great reflection! (no offence Dumpster mate!)

Dave, I reckon is number 1 and Logjam is number 3.

Finally, number 5 goes to cyanocobalamin.

_______
You can't polish a turd

You'd all know my bathroom if it was up there. It's so me...........can't wait til' next time.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This will be a shortlived contest -- I'm going to post the results tomorrow (Thursday). So get your entry in ASAP!

Also, I've received entries from Logjam, GGG, and Cyanowhatever. Their entries were kept secret because they knew one of the six answers. I'll post theirs tomorrow as well. Don't worry about the fact that they only had five to guess and everyone else had six... they'll be appropriately handicapped.

I feel "appropriately handicapped" most of the time, anyway.

_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

Looking at these photos suggests a poll, AB2K. When do you put the toilet lid down? Never, Only after cleaning, When I expect company or am taking photos of bathroom for PR, Always.

I made sure mine was... oh... wait. I guess I can't tell you that.
_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

Assblaster...how can I thank you enough for your concern about my anonymity? I have little concern that I will be the winner, but in case, consider this my "coming out of the water closet."

OMG!!!! Logjam finally suggests a poll! I will have that up tomorrow, to your credit, of course.

Oh, and SS, glad we know who you are. Maybe you should register, so you don't have those difficulties in the future.

AB2K said something in email that entertained me enough to repost it here.

"What I think is funny is that *REDACTED*'s TP roll is empty, and there is some kind of cord going from the sink behind the toilet to the bathtub. S/he should really know not to put his/her appliances in the tub!"

I'm surprised how many toilet paper holders are nearly empty in these bathrooms. Have we learned nothing from PoopReport.com???

Will and I always make sure we have extra TP around the house. I agree with Dave-O here. Running out of TP is a cardinal sin on PR, and nothing says prosperity like a 'plump' roll of TP!

Dave. Can we change our answers to make use of the one or two clues you provide in your last post?

AB2K. I have suggested polls before -- 2 of them. This is simply the first time that one has met your incredibly high standards. I'm delighted.

what the fuck is that thing on the cistern in pic 5?
_______
You can't polish a turd

Oh, and Dave and TBW. What do you do when your roll is nearly empty but not quite – toss it out and replace it with a new, “plump roll”? If you keep replacements nearby, which according to a recent poll most all of us do, then a nearly empty roll is not an indicator of impending catastrophe but of appreciation of a precious resource.

Owner of pic 4: do you often weigh yourself post-evacuation to see how much you've lost?!

_______
You can't polish a turd

OK, here's my analysis: We now know that Logjam's toilet has the lid down (or does it?), we know both Dave and AB2K have attached bidets, we also know AB2K has a cat named Barkley who runs to the bathroom in the event of a storm (at least that's what she tells me). We also know Dumpster lives in the same home he grew up in (so an older style design and toilet is most likely, Gotta Go Girl is middle aged and being I've seen my fair share of middle aged womens bathrooms I belive my choice is obvious, to determine Cyanocobalamin's I'm going to go by process of elimination. So here goes.

Firstly I searched for some obvious signs like any sewer sleuth would, AB2K said the following in a previous post "Hell no! With the blue toilet in my main shitter I can barely see the skids", and the fact I know she has a cat and is fond of her pussy leads me to the conclusion that picture #6 is hers, also note the picture is taken at an angle that conceals her buttwasher.

Let us move on to our esteemed host Dave, he mentioned last year under a post regarding cleaning the plunger "And so my wife and I find ourselves reaching for the plunger more often then we'd care to admit. A few times a week is not unusual", so this would indicate the plunger would be at the ready, I see only 1 plunger in any of the pics so my vote for Dave goes to #3 (somewhat ironic being that he's the creator of this fine site, I swore he would have placed his pic as #2 in a subtle yet obvious jibe at us members).

Now on to Dumpster, who has informed us he lives in the same home he grew up in, while it is easy to upgrade a bathroom Dumpster doesn't stike me as one who would concern himself in this regard, his bathroom will be utilitarian, functional and unemotional, (somewhat akin to his profession of lawyering), it is for this reason I say his washroom is #4, it is an older commode, there are no female decorations and also there is a scale close by (Dumpster has mentioned his monitoring his weight here before so I believe this one is bulletproof).

Gotta Go Girls washroom has so many obvious signs of femininity I feel like I'm intruding. Carefully review #2 and tell me that pink towels, 4 bottles of various hair and body washes, multiple brushes and assorted paraphrenalia are the signs of a man and I will say "What planet are you from, Frigmore?" Like the signs on the Nazca Plains the signs in picture #2 point to Gotta Go Girl.

Now here is the conundrum I expected with this challenge, LogJam in his most devious way has alluded to putting down the lid of a toilet for a picture, he doesn't state he did but makes one more susceptible to believe he did. Good try LogJam, but the ruse is as thin as the nylon on my girlfriends thong. It is obvious that bathroom #1 is Logjams.

So By process of elimination piture #5 belongs to none other than Cyanocobalamin.

This is getting interesting.

Yeah, I know, boring post. But, hey, all I wanted to say is that it's getting interesting.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bunga, reading your post reminded me of Vizzini's speech to the man in black in The Princess Bride when he tries to deduce which chalice has been poisoned.

Bunga: "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the toilet seat down in your own picture, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the toilet in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the toilet as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."

Dave: "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work."

bunga: "IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE TOILET IS!"

Ah, "The Princess Bride!" One of the all-time, great, loopy movies! I love the sequence where Carey Elwes, the hero, can't support his own weight and flails all over the place like a rag doll!

Dave-O: I really do think you and I have the same sense of humor, even if our politics are decidedly different.

I beg your pardon. I am NOT middle aged. Yet.

_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

This contest is now closed! I'll be posting the results shortly. Before I do, here are the guesses as submitted by Logjam, GGG, and Cyanowhatzit. They only had to guess from five choices since they knew which one was their own:

CYANOCOSOMETHING'S:

1) Dumpster
2) Mine
3) Logjam
4) Dave
5) AB2K
6) GGG

GOTTAGOGIRL'S:

1-Dumpster
2-Cyanoblahblah
3-Dave!
4-Logjam
5-ME!
6-AB2K

LOGJAM'S:

Here are my guesses. By the way, I chose 2 for you knowing you recently got married, and this looks to me like a bathroom that has recently been redecorated with a women's taste but a lot of the guy's things. Number 3 I ruled out for you because I assume you have a more sophisticated plunger than this, plus, this had Dumpster written all over it. I had to do some research on Cyan... Very little info here. But, I did uncover that she's a she and into arts and crafts. The display on the toilet in number 5 seems like a self-made craft thing.

AssBlaster2000, 1
Dave, 2
The Dumpster. 3
Cyanocobalamin, 5
GottaGoGirl, 6

Hah. No one guessed mine rightly. I should get something just for that. :P

_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

We have a winner! The true owners of the bathrooms are:

#1: The Dumpster
#2: Cycoetc
#3: Dave
#4: Logjam
#5: GottaGoGirl
#6: AssBlaster2000

And so we are left with the final results as follows:

- GottaGoGirl: 5/5*!!!

- Daphne: 4/6
- krzyzewskifan: 4/6

- Phillip DeCrapper: 2/6
- Bunga Din: 2/6
- The log of hazzard: 2/6

- Spinster Sphincter: 1/6
- Cyanocobouhhyeah: 1/5*

- Turd Banned It: 0/6
- The Big Wiper: 0/6
- George Eliot Butterz: 0/6
- Logjam: 0/5*

Congratulations to GGG! She has obviously been paying attention. I will be sending her something totally awesome!

So, PoopReporters: any surprises? Logjam, for one, seems shocked at my plunger of choice. Me, I never knew Dumpster was a fan of owls.

*Does a little Happy Dance* Woo-Hoooo! I KNEW IT!!! Hee hee hee! *Dances some more*

#1 Dumpster: I knew it was his because of the wood floors, the cabinet and knob looked antique, as did the door (reflected in the mirror), and the owl looked like something his mom might have put up when he was a kid.

#2 Cyanoblahblah: I didn't see AB using a pink towel, and something about the cobalt glass...

#3 Dave: The Plunger. I wasn't sure what to make of the box of wipes (is that what that is?)

#4 Logjam: Straighforward and clean.

#5 ME!: I couldn't get the rest of the bathroom in WITH the toilet, as the toilet is behind the door, but the whole room would have given more clues.

#6 AB2K: The kittycat, and something about the shower curtain.

*One more tiny little dance*.

_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

Not only did GGG win this in a stunning show of sleuthing, but, as she points out, she also was the least predictable. No one pegged her for the Spartan little shitter topped by a unique piece of terry art. Who was most predictable? Dave. Six of the 12 guessers spotted his plunger. Cyano, AB2K, and myself were outed by 4 of the 12 guessers, and The Dumpster (for whom exists so much personal information on the site it apparently is of little use), got correctly IDed by 3 of us.

People were pretty good at nailing the gender of the bathroom. Again, the only surprise was GGG’s perch, which was assigned to a male 5 times and to a female 6 times. Cyano’s was paired with a female 10 times and only once to a male (by me, the dimwit, who thought it was due to Dave’s new wife laying down the law).

All I was sure of was Dave's, with the plunger prominently displayed. That one is Dave all the way! I'm surprised he didn't make it Number Two just to add to it all.

Congratulations, GottaGoGirl!!!

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

Dave, if you check the comments, I changed GGG and AB2K's order around later that day. Does this not count?

Fuck and fuck. I am destined to be the number two in all contests. I think this brings the total up to four number twos. I hate contests.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

You have to admit that it takes talent (?) not to get a single one right! Heh. TBW--0-6.

daph: you WON PoopReporter Of The Year, 2005. Cheer up.

Daphne, at least you're number two. I'm tied for third with three others.

Great contest Dave.

Congrats to GGG. I must say the simplicity and lack of clutter in GGG's loo threw me off track, but figured it a woman's bathroom with the lacey toilet box shelves.

Dave's bathroom did not surprise me with the wires and electrical outlets, as is his affinity toward gadgets and PR web site.

Logjam, I like the spartan existence on display.

Suggestion: that whatzit-whoseit shorten his handle to Cyano. Nobody wants to fool with the last four or five syllables. Besides, Cyano has a nice ring to it.

Whaddaya think Cyanowhatzitwhoseit?

ok so im new here... but i wish i would have had a chance to put up my pic... altho i doubt anyone would want to see a pathetically small toilet with serious hard water stains and months old dried piss down the side... oh well... lol

_______
2 12 paks & $12.00 worth of taco bell make a deadly combination...

I was surprised as well with which bathroom matches who. It's quite surprising.

I can pronounce Cyanocobalamin; no problem with me. Cyano would be easier to type, though. Nickname, perhaps? Mine's Dufya, for example.

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

I don't know what's so bad about Cyanocobalamin. It's a fun word to say, or even just to think. It could be worse. She could be Methylchloroisothiazolinone. (I learned that one from the shampoo bottles.)

I am so cracking up over Bunga's well-thought-out but completely inaccurate analysis. At least he got mine right. I really thought more people would get mine right, given that I yap about my blue toilet and my cats so much. I actually only took that picture because the cat was in there and it really struck me as funny. She does indeed hide behind the toilet when it storms.

My problem was that I overthought the cat being in the picture. I thought it was a decoy designed to throw me off.

Yeah, sure you did, TBW. Like someone would go rent a cat for a bathroom pic.

Let's just say that I sucked royally at this, but it was fun. Congrats to GGG for thinking it through soundly!

Well, Chuck, if you could see the REST of the bathroom, it might look more like "me". Basket with hairbobs, bottles of sunscreen, mouthwash, contact solution, the toothbrush holder, the (2 different) tubes of toothpaste, all of hubby's stuff... Oh. And those little white baskets have things like toenail polish and nail clippers and perfumes and earrings and make-up and, well, STUFF. It's there; you just don't SEE it all! :P

Humor writer Dave Barry said the key to a happy relationship is separate bathrooms. My hall bathroom is definitely male: shower stall (no tub), simple wallpaper, dependable and full flush toilet at least 40 years old, 5' x 7' dimensions. The guest bathroom is more comfortable for girlfriend, family, visiting friends, etc. The larger guest bathroom has a lesser volume toilet, more color, tub, larger sink and counter for all that "chick" stuff.

hey this sucks... my name is intestinal turbulence, not intestinal turb... i guess its too long... ironically i have the same problem in the bathroom...

_______
Two 12 paks & $12.oo worth of taco bell every weekend... oh yeah, i deserve to be here

Maybe you should change it to IntstnlTurbulnc.

Logjam writes about "The Dumpster (for whom exists so much personal information on the site it apparently is of little use)...."

Logjam, congratulations at being the first to catch on!

AB2K I'm kid you not: I thought I was the only fucker out there who spotted that long and scarily unpronouncable chemical on the shampoo bottles!!! that's FREAKY AS!!!! There's also another one that's equally as long but I haven't got my shampoo here with me, alas alack...

Quality! :)

_______
You can't polish a turd

P.S. GGG WTF IS that thing on your shitter?

_______
You can't polish a turd

According to AB2K: "What I think is funny is that [Dumpster's] TP roll is empty, and there is some kind of cord going from the sink behind the toilet to the bathtub. He should really know not to put his appliances in the tub!"

As to the TP roll being empty, I have two words in reply: Little Dumpster. As to the cord, it goes to a dehumidifier which resides in that tub. I use the one off my bedroom, and LD uses the one upstairs.

Logjam writes: "Number 3 ... had Dumpster written all over it."

Logjam. When have you EVER known a womanless household to have one of those little furry things over the toilet lid? C'mon, man; you just picked #3 me for me because it was the messiest, and you consider me to be a messy person. I know it.

Contrast this with Eliot's comment that "if [Dumpster's] as anally retentive about his bathroom cleanliness as he is on PR then this would be a great reflection!"

I've succeeded in what I set out to do on PoopReport! The Dumpster persona is one that you can paste anything onto! (Well, almost anything....)

OK Dumpster, some questions and a couple suggestions. What's your trashcan doing sitting out in front of the sink? What is that thing sitting on the tank? Is the owl really something your mother put in there as GGG speculated? If so, I can understand your attachment. But hang it in the attic where the creatures it disturbs are rats and mice. And while you're at it, take down the thing above it, too. These are really freaky. (I apologize to AB2K for concluding they belonged to her.)

I should add that one reason I concluded this belonged to AB2K was that I recalled she had a bidet-like attachment on her toilet. I figured she'd removed it to not give herself away, and to do so had pulled the trashcan out to get access, but forgot to put the trashcan back. It was also easy to imagine the owl residing in rural Pennsylvania.

Butterz, please see my post above on 07-27. I think that explains it.
_______
Fecal Matters.

LJ: "What's your trashcan doing sitting out in front of the sink?"

A: I have no idea. This photo was not "staged." I guess I am a male version of Aunt Tuddy or something.

LJ: "What is that thing sitting on the tank?"

A: One of those things you put over a box of tissues (this is the sole Hermione touch to this bathroom). The white stuff on top of it is the last two or three tissues. I was out of those, as well as TP, when the photo was taken.

LJ: "Is the owl really something your mother put in there as GGG speculated? If so, I can understand your attachment. But hang it in the attic where the creatures it disturbs are rats and mice. And while you're at it, take down the thing above it, too. These are really freaky. (I apologize to AB2K for concluding they belonged to her.)"

A: These are all part of a larger owl collection that belonged to Grandmama Dumpster and which was located in the beach house where I spent my ill-fated weekend that wasn't. When I sold the house several years ago, the owl collection came home to roost (so to speak). It actually includes everything from some very nice Boëhm and Royal Doulton pieces to the kitsch you see above the toilet. The one on the bottom was cross-stitched by my Mother in 1972, which was basically the last year she was ever in good health, so GGG was sorta correct. It covers up a rather unsightly electrical outlet.

If you will look closely, the purple thing on the top is actually two owls sitting together on a tree branch. The owls' heads are made out of walnut halves. This was done by my somewhat-talented-but-ever-so-prolifically-creative Aunt Wheezie, and if she ever came to my house and saw it gone, it would bring on World War XIV (we have already survived World Wars I through XIII in my family).

So, "for every thing there is a season"--and a place! Thanks for your interest, and you can add this to the already overwhelming stack of useless Dumpster information.

Regrading the shampoo ingreditnes, I like to stand in the shower and read the bottles and pronounce all the words, which is why I can pronounce them all now pretty well. For those interested, here are the ingredients of Garnier Fructis fortifying anti-dandruff shampoo, as per the label: Pyrithione zinc, water, sodium laureth sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine, dimethicone, cetyl alcohol, hydroxystearyl cetyl ether, sodium chloride, cocamide mipa, pyrus malus (apple) fruit extract, fragrance, carbomer, sodium methylparaben, DMDM hydantoin, niacinamide, pyridoxine HCl, propylene glycol, saccharum officinarum (sugar cane) extract, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, ethylparaben, butylparaben, isobutylparaben, propylparaben, citrus medica limonium (lemon) peel extract, camellia sinesis leaf extract. I do remember some really really long M words on other shampoo bottles; anyone willing to dig those up? Also, one on Coast body wash that stands out is wheat germamidopropyldimonium hydroxypropyl hydrolized wheat protein. Yay big words I can pronounce!

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

OMG DF you're such a geek!!!! :)

_______
You can't polish a turd

triple G, are you referring to the comment of the 28th rather than the 27th, otherwise i'm confuzzled!!!

_______
You can't polish a turd

Dave: This competition was a sham; Dumpster's bathroom was definitely number 4...

_______
You can't polish a turd

Logjam, I'm not sure of your logic in thinking that I had removed the bidet attachment. That's work. There are two bathrooms on this page that have the lids down. Why wouldn't you figure that I had just done that? It's so much easier. And geez, where I live isn't THAT rural.

Dumpster, I have a question. If you don't use the shower in that bathroom, why is there a towel draped over the tub like you would use to step on with wet feet like, say, after a shower?

AB2K writes: "Dumpster, I have a question. If you don't use the shower in that bathroom, why is there a towel draped over the tub like you would use to step on with wet feet like, say, after a shower?"

A: I dunno, I just live here. Maybe I didn't have room for it in the towel cabinet. Maybe I put it there to dry. Maybe I put it there to conceal a naked painting of me on the side of the tub.

Gee, you guys are really doing an analysis number on the old Dumpster bathroom! Did anybody notice the antique rimlock on the door?

AB2K asks: "I'm not sure of your logic in thinking that I had removed the bidet attachment. That's work. There are two bathrooms on this page that have the lids down. Why wouldn't you figure that I had just done that?"

As for using logic, Bunga's brain dump above demonstrated well the limits of that approach. But more to the point, I don't know what your bidet attachment looks like, how hard it might be to install and remove, nor whether all evidence of it would be hidden by a lowered seat.

I do have a question for you. Your tank looks to be a different shade of blue than the bowl. Is it, and how come?

Dumpie, it's the cabinet doors and the bathroom door itself that give your picture away.

And Butterz:

"...GottaGoGirl (1133) -- 07.27.2006
'Well, Chuck, if you could see the REST of the bathroom, it might look more like "me". Basket with hairbobs, bottles of sunscreen, mouthwash, contact solution, the toothbrush holder, the (2 different) tubes of toothpaste, all of hubby's stuff... Oh. And those little white baskets have things like toenail polish and nail clippers and perfumes and earrings and make-up and, well, STUFF. It's there; you just don't SEE it all! :P'..."
_______
Fecal Matters.

The first week I was a member here, I made the following comment, under Al Bundy's Ferguson, about the toilet pictured above:

The Dumpster (2086) -- 01.10.2006
I haven't watched anything on TV since 1974, other than "The Weather Channel" (where I keep hoping to see TSV, anxiously wiggling her boobs like Stephanie Abrams), so I can't speak to the axiology of this thread. I can, however, speak in a monumental way to its ontology, since I have lived in the same house since I was 7 years old (I am now 48), and THERE HAS BEEN THE SAME FERGUSON IN THE HALL BATHROOM ALL THE TIME!!! This crapper has survived, if not quite my toilet training, at least my adolescent identity crisis (this isn't a masturbation forum); voyeuristic friends of my teenage sister; my Mom's death; my Dad's dating and getting remarried and selling the house to me and Mrs. Dumpster; our divorce; doubling the size of the house; catboxes; constipated mothers-in-law; Little Dumpster; baby diapers; nervous neighbors; petrified pastors; reified relatives; two seats; three kits, but NEVER. ONCE. Has it stopped up or overflowed.

I can go to Mr. Ferguson with the biggest dump since D-Day, content in the knowledge that he will eagerly drink it down and beg for more. He will fight on the beaches; he will fight on the landing grounds, etc. I could back a cement mixer up to this guy and he would take it in stride. You could cram all the crap of Christendom in this crapper and he would eagerly comest it. My house is over 100 years old, so either its builder laid a 24 inch sewer main, or Potzilla discharges directly into the Turd Circle of Hell.

No wonder that when I have to eliminate one of the epic loads of my life, I visit Mr. Ferguson in the downstairs hallway bathroom. I am a fortunate man. As the Beverly Hillbillies said,

"You're all invited back next week,
To this locality,
To have a heapin' helpin'
Of [my] hospitality!"

Come to see me, my friends--sanitary napkins; bursting condoms; full-meal-deal chunks of vomit; partially dismembered human corpses: You name it: this big guy can swallow it!
I rest my case AND my ass!

He is the King of Crappers; the Father of Fergusons! He belongs on the National Register of HisTURDic Places!

====================

Of course, I will have to confess my guy is an American Standard, not a Ferguson, but he is an Old Faithful nevertheless. I am proud to introduce him to my PoopReport friends.

Why are your neighbors nervous?
_______
Fecal Matters.

I had meant to ask you, Cyano, why the day of the month in the date on your photo was blurred out (or perhaps it was AB2K responsible for this odd precaution). Were you afraid that would be giving us too much personal information about you? Or that it could be used against you in an upcoming court case? ...

I blurred it out, just in case somewhere Cyano had posted "I sent in my photo today!" Given the sluething that took place for this contest, I think such date correlation would not have been unlikely.

Oh yeah. Why didn't I think of that? It's now clear to me why I got 0 correct on this contest.