poopreport : Contests :



Contest #23: Six Word Poop Stories

Posted 10.26.2006 by Dave (11998)
The Internet is suddenly abuzz with six word short stories. Wired Magazine kicked off the trend, noting that Hemingway called the six-word story he wrote his best work: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Wired asked a bunch of sci-fi authors to follow suit, resulting in some interesting work:
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here."
- Steven Meretzky

You get the idea. And you know what the subject is. Go to it! Winner gets a Journal!

This contest has closed. See the winner(s) here!

Double Flush (632) -- 10.26.2006

Clogged the crapper; too much shit.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

Anomalous Coward (731) -- 10.26.2006

Shit splattering soiled many innocent pedestrians.

runninggrrl2 (246) -- 10.26.2006

Ate lotsa veggies, no indoor plumbing.


_______
An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

brownheap (not verified) -- 10.26.2006

Those that push corn are reborn.

doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Evacuation is required, too fucking shameful.

Bunga Din (1239) -- 10.26.2006

Assbutter splattered porcelain throne, poopreport laughs.

Great comment! +1 point
Mr Intolerance (17) -- 10.26.2006

Honestly McDonalds worker, not my mess.
_______
Honest honey, I took my pills...

C Everett Poop (825) -- 10.26.2006

Splashed my ass. Stench was terrible!

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.26.2006

Peppers burned, slid, gurgled, burned again.

Great comment! +1 point
C Everett Poop (825) -- 10.26.2006

Tried to fart. Oops. Blew mud.

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.26.2006

Clogged the bog, with a log.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.26.2006

Bad brown baby boy beats backdoor.

juicyturds (15) -- 10.26.2006

making big turds can bring pain

Great comment! +1 point
DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.26.2006

My colon is a turd universe.

THE SEQUEL:

Our universe could be a butt.

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.26.2006

From my hole, into the bowl.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Great comment! +1 point
doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Abuse colon habitually, achieve PoopReport notoriety.

doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Tainted food consumption, violent fecal expulsion.

Great comment! +1 point
doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Website regarding shit, NewYorker becomes legendary.

Double Flush (632) -- 10.26.2006

Oh god! My sphincter's on fire!

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.26.2006

Dave's poop fettish is going global.

Great comment! +1 point
ghostlight (30) -- 10.26.2006

Toilet paper roll empty, toilet full.

Great comment! +1 point
doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Mexican food outcome = assblast. Urban legend.

doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Public bathroom. Personalities conflict. Shameless prevails.

doniker (1555) -- 10.26.2006

Loose load looming. Discharge impossible. Fucked!!!

the log of hazzard (185) -- 10.26.2006

Chocolate fish meet swirling abyss.

the log of hazzard (185) -- 10.26.2006

Oops that was 5 words.

Chocolate fish meets a swirling abyss.

Chuck (300) -- 10.26.2006

Ugh unnh spalsh. Look: corn, peanuts.

Great comment! +1 point
The Big Wiper (2292) -- 10.26.2006

Rhett farts; Scarlett gets the vapors.

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 10.27.2006

Million wiper. No TP. Halloween party.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Great comment! +1 point
Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

These reference real PR's.

Girl from Starbucks left him muddy.

Soiled the salon restroom? Buy flowers.

Helped wife deliver poo in tub.

Doorless stalls are mostly A Okay.

Watch out for frozen airplane poop.

I'll think of more later.

Thunderbox (1511) -- 10.27.2006

Veins bulging, asshole splitting...need help!

Boomerang (46) -- 10.27.2006

-Public restroom...though shall not poop!
-I Pooped. Sound normal? Get fucked.

Thunderbox (1511) -- 10.27.2006

Lumberjack`s logs litter the forest floor.

Thunderbox (1511) -- 10.27.2006

Veni, vidi, vici...then I shat.

bowlfiller (54) -- 10.27.2006

Chocolate Starfish suspiciously winking, panties worried.

Skiddy wink, revenge of the sphincter

Hubble, bubble, scorching brown wet rubble

Portaloo for rent, sitting tenant included.

Poop life: Mouth, ass, sewer, sea.

Diarrhea diaries: Bullet from a bum.

Voices told me to scoop it.

Donald had never tasted brown mash.

Unexpected gift from previous occupant disturbs.

Le Poo (not verified) -- 10.27.2006

Turds touching textile. Must go, NOW !

bowlfiller (54) -- 10.27.2006

Humphry let rip, shocked, he weeps

bowlfiller (54) -- 10.27.2006

Halloween Trickers use brown candy treats

bowlfiller (54) -- 10.27.2006

Santa releases to squeeze down chimney

SamDamnit (1196) -- 10.27.2006

Doc shook his head. The gerbil expired.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Great comment! +1 point
PoopySmurf (47) -- 10.27.2006

Corn for dinner? Niblet poop tomorrow!

Flaming butthole following curry--Ghandi's revenge.

No, honey, the cat did that.

Great comment! +1 point
SamDamnit (1196) -- 10.27.2006

Lola never did find Bill's keys.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Thunderbox (1511) -- 10.27.2006

Honestly, that came out my ass.

bowlfiller (54) -- 10.27.2006

Daisy the colorblind cow, finds desert

Anomalous Coward (731) -- 10.27.2006

I shit thee not, suffering constipation.

Large hard turd protruding partially - stuck.

Gotta go. Didn't make it. Shit!

Double Flush (632) -- 10.27.2006

Wow, did that come from me?

Light a match, that one's horrid.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.27.2006

PoopReport, greatest poop stories told here.
______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.27.2006

Gentleman Dapper steps out of crapper.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

CaCa Doodle Doo (45) -- 10.27.2006

Asscrack spackled with foul adhesive excreta.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.27.2006

Blew foul load in middle road.

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

I had to shit so bad!

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 10.27.2006

Drunken nights? Shit's reached new hights.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Northy (107) -- 10.27.2006

What a mess - Missed the bog!

Great comment! +1 point
runninggrrl2 (246) -- 10.27.2006

Who threw salad into the crapper?


_______
An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Great comment!
chunks (not verified) -- 10.27.2006

the urinal was the only option

Anomalous Coward (731) -- 10.27.2006

Beer, curry - stand back! Gonna blow!

Anomalous Coward (731) -- 10.27.2006

Get outta there! Gotta go now!

Anomalous Coward (731) -- 10.27.2006

Urgent explosive diarrheal outburst sullied stall.

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.27.2006

Doniker scores with several six worders.

shitFerBrains (not verified) -- 10.27.2006

Shat, Shit, I will poop tomorrow

Great comment! +2 points
Chuck (300) -- 10.27.2006

Honey, come here. Witness this accomplishment.

Chuck (300) -- 10.27.2006

Pull my finger. Oops, trouser gravy.

SamDamnit (1196) -- 10.27.2006

I don't think you are all getting the idea. A lot of these are just haikus without structure.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 10.27.2006

That fish slithered out my ass.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 10.27.2006

During my final came the gurgle.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Pantload (93) -- 10.27.2006


The pig wallowed in my shit.

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Pantload (93) -- 10.27.2006


Uncle Eddie's lit pipe, turd brewing...

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Great comment! +1 point
The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 10.27.2006

Category five shart spoiled my couch.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 10.27.2006

Poop eaters make me spew my lunch.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 10.27.2006

Shit soiled New Orleans before storm.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 10.27.2006

Hiccuping man tickles his tailpipe wrong.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

PooperGal (527) -- 10.27.2006

On the crapper, out of paper.


_______
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 10.27.2006

Damn that's a lot of corn!

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

His Grandma's soup looked like diarrhea.

Sequel:
Didn't look much different coming out.

Great comment! +2 points
sharty mcfly (211) -- 10.27.2006

extended stay, extended smell, entropy increases.

enemy at the gates, defenses breached.

cultivation, fermentation, consumption, digestion, desecration, humiliation.

Imminent danger looms, walk don't run.

Fire torpedo one! The U-boat sinks.

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.27.2006

Honey, come here. Witness the apocalypse.

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Unleash the logs of war - splash!


_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Overindulgence wreaks havoc on my guts.


_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Mommy, I've got something for you.


_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Let er rip - famous last words!

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

The turd smelled around the world.

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Quivering bunghole reveals impending intestinal doom.

Great comment! +2 points
Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

Help Wanted: Armless man needs disimpaction.

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

I flushed, but to no avail.

shitwit (619) -- 10.27.2006

Someone open a window! That stinks!

Great comment! +1 point
AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 10.27.2006

Giant turd 1, bleeding rectum 0.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

Life's hell when you can't poop.

Great comment! +1 point
Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

Don't pull at your hemorrhoids, stupid!

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 10.27.2006

Fart, fart, fart, fart, poop . . . whoops.

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 10.27.2006

Drunk person on toilet. Poop. Vomit.

Great comment! +1 point
AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 10.27.2006

Cat poop in bed. Most unexpected.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

Reading JOAP gave them laughter sharts.

AssBlaster2000 (1116) -- 10.27.2006

Constipation. Take laxatives. Diarrhea. Shit pants.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.27.2006

Quoth the proctologist, "Rectum?! Near killdum."

(Ok, that one's really dumb.)

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.28.2006

Bloke put Vicks on anus, yelped.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.28.2006

SamDamnit finds toilet graveyard, becomes legend.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 10.28.2006

AB2K was skeptical, now loves bidets.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 10.28.2006

GGG has writer's block: disqualification imminent.

Pantload (93) -- 10.28.2006


Colonoscopy;"You have a perfect asshole"

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

I accidentally erased one of Scatolique's posts. Her post was...

"Had to poo, can't so boo."

Please give her credit.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

I pooped, I wiped, I flushed.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

From social pressure, he flushed anyway.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

The stall reeked; Mexican night prevailed.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Gator's a dog, what's your excuse?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Holy seared nosehairs, you ate what?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Great comment! +1 point
daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Thirteen Cosby kids can't be wrong.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Great comment! +1 point
daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Olestra and clean underwear; forbidden lovers.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

It's called diarrhea for a reason.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Johnny never did like Enema Thursdays.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

The handicrapper's retractable wheels were redundant.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Great comment! +1 point
daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

Pulling Grampa's finger had unexpected consequences.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne (4622) -- 10.28.2006

OK, OK, just one more....

Child knocks, bathroom occupied; mother mops.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

healthy 1 (1430) -- 10.28.2006

McDonald's, dinners make for Poopreport winners.

Greasy fries, then the diarreah flies
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

The Big Wiper (2292) -- 10.28.2006

Proud Pooper Births Baby, Cigar Redundant.

The Big Wiper (2292) -- 10.28.2006

Alien Fecal Bombardment? No, Airplane Shitsicle.

The Big Wiper (2292) -- 10.28.2006

Candid Camera Stunt? No, Open Stalls.

Great comment! +1 point
The Big Wiper (2292) -- 10.28.2006

Tom Cruise Endows Infant Meconium Society

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Pooping in dormitory? Yell "Flush" first.

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Poopreporters post. Doniker doubts. Feud follows.

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Calloway, king scatter? No, Chuck Berry.

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Undercooked bird, runny turd, groan heard.

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Does candy corn not digest too?

Chuck (300) -- 10.28.2006

Turd clog, water rises, panic ensues.

Great comment! +1 point
Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Roughage? Fiber? Haven't I suffered enough?

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Bowl jammed? Security deposit be damned!

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Plunger? You've played this game before!
_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Your loose sphincter? It stinks, sir.

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Reverse evolution: Grew a brown tail.
_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Squirt. Red alert. Hit the dirt!

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Saying goodbye, never easy...Flush anyway.

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

As soft turds go, it went.

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

"It's alimentary, Watson," Holmes groaned angrily.

_______
I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

JT Shanks (2) -- 10.28.2006

Turtle head poking, clinched rectum quivers


_______
---------
JT Shanks

Poopgirl (79) -- 10.28.2006


Death cramps bring me to knees

Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Pantload (93) -- 10.28.2006


I push. Resistance. Butt finally, eureka!

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Hole stretched. Shill shaking. Great shit!
_______
My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Kam (30) -- 10.28.2006

Turd's blood streaked. Hence asshole burns.

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Impacted. Imminent explosion. Best Friday ever!
_______
My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Carrots, psyllium, garlic, bran: Stenchy Heaven!
_______
My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Bowl Clogger Blogger (71) -- 10.28.2006

Sphincter puckering: hold it till halftime?
_______
My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Post new comment



Prove you're not a spambot: what bodily function is this site about? Four letters, begins with p...

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

*

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
20,000 character limit / Flood control: 60 seconds between comments and no more than 10 comments per hour



About PoopReport | Advertise! | The PoopReport Press Room | Report Your Poop | Contact Dave
Copyright 2000-2009 by PoopReport.com. All content is meant to entertain, not offend. Hope you enjoyed it.