Does your significant other refuse to replace the empty toilet paper roll? Do you often find stinky drawers on the floor that don’t belong to you? Sometimes, Dear Abby doesn’t have the answer. Sometimes, you have relationship trouble that involves your better half’s lower half. Sometimes, you have to ask a total stranger for advice, because you’ve got a question so nasty that it would gross out even your closest friends and family.

If you are currently engaged in a bathroom-related lover’s quarrel, Daphne might be able to help. As a veteran of PoopReport and eighteen years of marriage, she has experienced the darker side of romance warfare, and she’ll do her best to give you good advice.

Need some relationship advice? Ask Daphne. My name: My email address: Here's my poop-related problem: Prove you are human: **note**: if your submission is more than 250 words or so, you'd better email it.