Eternal Debates: Urinal Distance

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb


What is the appropriate distance to stand from the urinal?

74 Comments on "Eternal Debates: Urinal Distance"

Chophack's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

The best way to avoid splash back is when you are in a bathroom with at least 1 urnial divider dividing 2 toilets. You stand in 1 stall as much as possible and use it as a shield, to deflect splashback. You are also far enough away, that splashback is minimized to your lower leg area if at all. With practice you can avoid all splashback.

me and my buddy have spent several discussions figuing a way to enter a public bathroom, avoid making direct contact with ANYTHING after hands have been washed, and getting safely out of the restroom with no touch. Each bathroom is a challenge, there are several setups...perhaps a new thread could be made on this subject.

poop-a-riffic's picture

I stand a normal distance from the urinal. but I sheild from my fellow urinal users. there is to be no unit check from the queer next to me.

ThreePly's picture

I try not to hump the urinal in order to avoid splashback. If I've been drinking, which is highly probable, I usually have a great deal of pressure building so I stand back about a foot or so. In the occasion that I'm sportin' wood when I go to take a piss (a painful experience), I have to stand back about two feet just to accomodate my large manhood.

I hope that doesn't get deleted.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

I hate using urinals unless they are very clean.

If I come across a digusting urinal and a toilet is available, I piss in the toilet (and usually never lift the seat HAHA)

Even if the urinal is clean I stand back pretty far to avoid splashback; but if I am not alone I am forced to stand close to the urinal. I don't want to look like a jerk "long distance pissing".

Jack Scat's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

One time I was taking a leak with a semi-boner and so I was bent over like a hunchback masturbating. Out of nowhere I sneezed and almost pissed in my face. As Lando put it: "That was too close!"

C Everett Poop's picture

I stand back a couple of feet too, not only to accomodate my prodigious member but so I'm not standing in the piss splash from the previous retards that used the facility.

Hotlanta turd creator's picture

depends on the a common courtesy, I generally refrain from pissing all over the place, unless I am drunk, or mad at the establishment for some reason. The funny thing about urinals, is that some are designed to where there is 0 splashback, no matter what the angle of attack. Other urinals create splashback no matter where you stand. That being said, I'd rather piss on the wall & floor then get backsplashed piss on myself, so I generally stand a gratuitious distance from the latter.

Oh and by the way, the ice-in-the-urinal thing doesnt work. It kind of acts like a prism, deflecting your piss stream into many smaller streams, a few of which deflect on to your pants.

The jury is still out on the blue hockey puck, though...thoughts?

Turd's picture

You are what you eat

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I kind of enjoy the urinals that have bulls-eyes in them. I am usually right up on the urinal even if there's nothing in there but the usual wad of gum. And I think urinal cakes are one of those inventions that just make everything smell funkier. Strong, nose-wrinkling, disinfectant on top of stale urine--yeah, that's a day-brightener.
Most bizarre is the point where the urinal cakes have been partially dissolved into this artistic-looking shapes. Like slivers that's somebody's carved on.

Ah, the world of the urinal. Ladies, you're not missing much, but it goes with our plumbing!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Mudpusher's picture

Blue pucks? they taste pretty good.
About a foot for me on the urnial issue

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

What does it feel like to pee when you are "sporting wood"? Three Ply says it's somewhat painful?

I don't understand urinal cakes either, whether I'm female or not, they seem weird.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Deuce Fan's picture

Hurts while sporting wood? Are you a fucking retard. It doenst hurt unless your balls havent dropped yet! and when do you piss when you have wood!? Are you 15?
as for standing position...feet apart from all you dipshits stanidng 2 feet back and missing the toilet at the end of your stream. Quit floor pissing kids!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume Deuce Fan has had his shoes peed on.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Hey Deuce, I have pissed when I have wood and I am 40.
9 times out of 10 I am drunk while I am having sex. After awhile I get the urge to piss and I can't blow my load with a full bladder.
So I take a break and drain my wooden lizard. Sometime I have to splash alittle cold water on my pecker to get the pee started.
Then I go "finish the job"

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

Yeah, it is possible to pee with wood, however, it is really painful.
Anyway, the rule in Florida is to use the splah shields to hide one's pecker from the next guy. I prefer it for another reason. By being so close, even the last few drops rarely get on the floor.

Ever been to a nasty bathroom, where 1000s of final drips form a huge and permanent piss stain on the floor? Those things really bother me when I wear sandals.

ThreePly's picture

Daphne, the wood piss hurts because the pecker (as well as the man) would rather be shootin' a load instead of takin' a leak. Its a fight between the bladder and the balls. Eventually the bladder has to win because as Doniker pointed out, you can't blow a load with a full bladder. So while you're sporting wood, your plumbing has to switch from "jizz mode" to "piss mode." During that time, your bladder is screaming at your balls to take a break, and they're often hard to convince. So you have a bladder building major pressure until jizz mode gets put on hold. Once the plumbing switches, piss mode can commence. But for that brief five seconds or so, the wood piss is quite uncomfortable.

For more details, perhaps we should "Ask PooNurse" about the male sex organs and how the internal plumbing rewires itself between modes.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

no need for poonurse, ThreePly, I think you explained it quite well.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Ewww...I'm still trying to get past wearing sandals in a permanently pissed-stain bathroom. Flip-flops, anyone?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Deuce Gottago's picture

Doniker! Talking like you actually HAVE sex.
"9 times out of 10"? What's that, like, your three year total?

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Well Deuce to be honest, your close to being right.
My sex life has gone down hill ever since I got married.
I got more sex when I was single!!

I was speaking about past experience.

ThreePly's picture

I can't wear sandals TBW. They cut the shit out of my feet and give me blood blisters. And now that you've mentioned the piss factor, it gives me even more reason to never wear a pair of sandals again.

The Brown Frown's picture

Forget about how far back, I need to stand on a step ladder to keep my hog from touching that nasty urnal cookie by the drain. I also find a good pair of golloshes to ba a necessity.

Toilet Hitter's picture

Don't use the urinals. Whether you hug the urinal or stand way back, you're still gonna get pee pee spashback. The spashback smells bad. You cannot hide the smell. Everyone thinks you smell like piss or those big, smelly urinal tablets after you pee in a urinal. Use the toilet.

Piss in the Pooper. TH.

Ass Phlegm's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points

I like to start off pissing about 5 feet away and slowly try to move forward as the stream loses it's momentum. Kind of a fun game. Don't try it drunk unless you want puddle pants. Trust me, I know.

Of course, I don't usually do this unless I'm alone. This probably didn't help at all. Oh well.

Craptain Pooping's picture

I'm not paying the water bill at any joint that mounts a urinal. Therefore, I flush while I'm pissin'. Keeps the water clean and flowing down. As far as you people that practically climb into the urinal and stare at the booger on the wall as to not be seen by the guy next to you?... You're not invisible. I see you. I also notice that your back is so arched to hide your package inside the urinal walls, you look like an insecure contortionist. That method just screams little sausage. I talk to you in the urinal for shock value. I love to watch you squirm in discomfort as you piss because I've said "How's it going?" It's not a gay thing, because that I am not. It's a mean streak that I have that loves to feed on insecurities. So, if you ever see a guy choose the one urinal out of 10 empty ones right next to you, he says "Howdy!!", farts and makes a big production out of the piss shiver, then you're probably next to me.

Actually, I hate going to the men's room... That seems to be where all the dicks hang out.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Three Ply, that sounds horrible! I think you explained it very well. And, Ass Phlegm's game made me laugh.

I have to say Craptain Pooping sounds suspiciously familiar to someone I think I know. There's a little turd terrorist in you, Craptain, and it's naughty good fun, isn't it?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

The Malicious Pooper's picture

Yay! Ass Phlegm's back... NOW MAKE A NEW CARTOON! Anyway, I find it fun to go about four feet away; it's a challenge

Bub's picture

Splashback is a big problem. The best unrinals are designed to have a little standing water in them. Water is a great absorber of streaming urine. This feature is negated when nimrod cleaning services fill the water with those unrinal wafer holders or some sort of drain cover deal. These devices protrude from the water, if they don't displace it all together, creating another surface for your piss to bounce off of.

A company I worked for some years ago, moved into a brand new building. They had the "water" type urinals installed, but, they used those damn wafer holders. We had a suggestion box program going at that time (50$ for the best suggestion each month) so I made my suggestion just as I mentioned above. I got $50 and the holders disappeared. I always wondered what kind of laugh the powers that be got when they read my suggestion.

Basic rule; Stand close enough not to drip on the floor and aim down.

As for pissing with wood. It is the classic definition of tourque.

Chuck's picture

Pragmatic approach: far enough to miss the shoes.

Deuce Fan's picture

This site deletes posts. How pathetic. I posted several and they deleted them. this site is terrible

ThreePly's picture

Yeah Daphne, it's tough being a man sometimes.


PoopIsMyFriend's picture

Well, I guess I stand about 5 inches from the urinal when pooping in it. I have to get somewhat close because my giant manhood circles the circumference of the earth and it might hit the back of the urinal if I get any farther away.

Isn't this supposed to be about poop?

Thepaperhog's picture

Yeah, it's a bitch when you're in the middle of a wonderful piss, the stream's going strong, and you're standing ten feet back, loving life - when all of a sudden some flat-footed Samoan slips around the corner and soundlessly appears in front of you..........then you have to rush to thrust your penis towards the disease-ridden womb of the urinal to not look like an asshole 'distance pissing' also have to take a couple of very quick steps forward while trying not to step into the fungi-laden cesspool that girdles the urinal............

Jonhnypoopypants's picture

well I'm a girl so I don't know what its like but one time my friend dared me to so I did and oh my god it was hard and plus it was to high and I think I did it at a movie theater and I was band from it forever well for 1 month but still it felt like forever and plus all the damn good movies where out too! So I would stay about 300feet away so I wont get band again. ps I was only five but now I'm ten really and I also agree with poopismyfriend this is supposed to be about poop.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I wouldn't know about urinal distance. I am a standing girl pee-er and sometimes it gets to be a pain in the ass. If you don't arrange your pussy lips properly you end on with three separate streams of pee. (Sometimes more, I'm going for the world record.) One goes into the toilet, one hits the side of the bowl, and one goes down the leg of my pants. But only if I have no way of changing them for hours. It would be nice sometimes to have a stick to piss out of like you guys.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Poopstain McLain's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have to stay very close and use low pressure because I sometimes have the split stream problem. My member is pointing forward but I have streams at 45 degrees in each direction.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

What's with all this splashback crap? Are you all the guys who won't flush? If you do, the only thing that might splash back is your own piss. For god's sake, aim it down and you reduce most of the risk anyway!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

And then you end up smelling like your own piss. How lovely!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Stephany's picture

I tried to piss into a glass once, when the bathroom was occupied. You have to carefully position youself into a squat, hold the glass at a perfect angle, and go for it. Some of it ended up on the floor, despite my best intentions. The best part was proudly holding a nice, hot glass of piss.

Scott's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

general urinal rule, never hug the urinal! very messy, the thought of somebody elses piss splashing back is revolting. besides that, your member im sure doesnt appreciate the touch of cold wet ceramic. i usually stand back enough so when im "hangin out" my cock is looking at the floor, not into the urinal.

drpepper's picture

lets hear from a few more girls that have learnt the art of stand up peeing

karl's picture

i prefer to stand back, often going for distance when alone, but unfortunately, i'm in high school and if you stand any more than six inches away, you better have a pretty big cock or you're just weird

JustMySlong's picture

I just stand to the point where it looks like my feet won't stick by the end of the day at the office thats 3 feet back at a minimum

Lively's picture

From a gal who has learnt the fine art of pissing while standing... you complain about splashback? Try setting your pretty ass down on some toilet that *thousands* of other disease ridden bitches have placed their foul asshole? It isn't an art, it is a defense mechanism. I can hover, straddle and piss standing. I have been known to use the mens room at sporting events, piss in the woods hugging trees (sometimes I was even sober and remembered to straddle downstream) And peeing in a cup - only issue i might have there is the overflow. And guess what boys...I can stop my pee mid-stream. Very satisfying, not to mention a useful trick to know for other times. It's good to be a woman.

tones's picture

i stand at about 2 ft., then keep moving back from the urinal. i can usually go back 7 or 8 feet hahahaha

maddog's picture

i was at a bar in wisconsin dells on the strip. i went to the mens room and i noticed a cup hangin in the urinal. it was attached to a machine that measured the amount of piss you let go and made a comment about how much or little you pissed. it was called billy bobs pee machine.. it was well worth the 25 cents. now we make bets on it....

Sir Dropalog's picture

My friend told me an interesting experiment he did one time. He was sporting some morning wood and really had to pee bad (that first pee of the morn). He was in his appartment -- no urinal only a toilet. We guys know how hard it is manage this sometimes. Well my friend told me he turned around (butt to the can) and did a hand stand so his woody wanker was pointing towards the toilet. Alas, it was to no avail, he told me. No pee would come out. I guess the bladder needs some gravity to assist it in releasing the pee. Nevertheless, I still had a good laugh picturing my friend doing a hand stand with morning wood.

Sierra BulletSmith's picture

We used to have a game in the 2nd grade to see who could stand farthest from the urinal and piss into it. Ha! We stood on the other side of the room and still made it.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

The thought of men having to pee with an erection never occurred to me until after I was married and witnessed the phenomenon myself. From a woman's standpoint, it was one of the funniest things ever to be seen.

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

The water surface at the bottom of the urinal does reduce splashback. However, when the urinal is flushed, it takes more water to do so.

Since wastewater tretment plants are expensive to build, tax dollars are often use to buy a water conserving urinals.

Urine splashback is a pain, but it is a minor pain compared to an overstressed sewer plant that leaves shit and piss in the environment.

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