Eternal Debates: Urinal Distance

// // 74 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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THE ISSUE:

What is the appropriate distance to stand from the urinal?

74 Comments on "Eternal Debates: Urinal Distance"

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

When I get an erection these days I'm normally so overjoyed that I can still get one that I have to use it, even if I'm alone.

Needing to pee with a right cuntbuster doesn't really bother me. What bothers me is that without any erotic stimulus, my lady-pleaser decides to acheive a proud state of monumental hardness that could poke holes in a sheet of plasterboard when I really don't need it to, and when I need it for it's proper purpose, although it's perfectly hard enough for the job, it is rarely as robustly rigid as that unwanted morning glory that gets in the way of having a pee.

Peeing with pink steel is certainly not painful for me, but the main problem is aim. It can go anywhere it damn well pleases, so I've found that the best solution when one has the dawn horn is to sit on the toilet as far back as you can, lean as far forward as possible, grit one's teeth and bend into the bowl while hanging on like grim death, then let the piss flow. There is a danger of course that the piss stream will squirt through that gap between the seat and the rim, in which case you will probably get a wet floor (or worse) but what else is a chap to do?

the cat's picture

My boyfriend prefers bushes or the fridge, so who knows

Guidance Counselor's picture

I don't care who does the teaching but little boys using public urinals need to be taught that it is not sanitary to have their organ draping over and into the bowl. Twice this week I have been at large athletic venues and watched little boys (some I suspect were no more than 4) with their organ touching the porcelain, and in once case, actually partially in the bowl of how many guys' urine contributions. This boy, who looked to be about 6, didn't even use one of his hands to help aim or direct his stream. His father was using a stall so there was no guidance on that end. When my dad was training me the advice was "up and over".

blank shit's picture

i never get splash back

blank shit's picture

hey i hoestly dont understand how u guys are getting splashback i never do and i stand close

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

The farthest I ever stood away from a urinal is maybe 2 feet. Unfortunately, my best chance to piss really far in a urinal is if it's first thing in the morning, and that only happens if I spent the night in a bar.

Doesn't happen that often anymore.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, you DID walk around behind him? You could have burst the little bastard's bubble by arching a turd into the toilet from about 10 feet. I think you could have done it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I entered the bathroom at Sam's Club recently and saw a young lad of perhaps 9 or 10 standing well out from the urinal and arching a stream into it. I thought to myself***Try that in about 55 years you little bastard***

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

hershey highway's picture

I piss about two feet away and hope for the best. This method helps my prostate keep healthy I think due to the extra effort required to squirt my piss that extra mile. Who knows? I have probably added years to the life of my walnut or worse I will be in nappies by the time I am 40

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I just piss on the ceiling.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

You're a lucky man, Chief...I'm still forced to use a hydraulic pipe bender to accomplish the feat.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I have no problem pissing with a woodie thanks to the strength I now have as an old man. When I was
young I did not have the strength to bend my erect penis. With the strength I have gained as I aged I can now bend it and point it down with ease.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I would say that it depends mostly on how strong the individual's urine stream is.

IE someone with a strong urine stream should stand further away, or risk backsplash. On the other hand, someone with a weak urine stream should stand closer, or risk peeing all over the floor.
______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

flo-man's picture

lol..funny debate goin on here...i actually stand back even if im in a crowd filled room...and splashback still hits me..if the toilets open im all over it

Crunchy Frog's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It doesn't matter where I stand cos very rarely does any of it hit the mark, all varying the distance from the lav does is impact upon the amount that goes on the tiles behind it, on the mat beside it, on my trousers, my hands and the back of the seat!

mommy's picture

I have a 5 year old autistic kid and last night I finally figured out why he is having trouble with wetting his clothes and the floor in the bathroom at nights when he knows better. He has an erection and he is trying to pee standing up and it makes a mess. Do I try explaining to sit down on the toilet to pee (only at nights), sit down on the toilet to pee all of the time or let him stand, but explain he needs to lean in closer and push down on it or explain to him to try and wait until the erection goes down first?

Lizard Poo's picture

it all depends for me, if there isn't anyone near by, I'll stand about a foot or two back, however if someone is near stand so that 'stuff' is hidden, and as for the peeing with wood, yeah it does happen, expecially if you've been out partying, and morning wood, can't forget that

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

TSV-- Have you gotten that toilet fixed yet? And is the puppy fixed-I-mean-trained yet?

Bubba-- All girls CAN pee standing up, if we have to. What do you think we do in unisex one-holers when one of you gents has sprayed the seat?

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points

For urinal distance i stand close, but not too close when sober. I'd rather have my privacy and deal with a little of my own wee. When drunk however it's a ratio of my arm length to how far away the wall behind the urinal is. Now this is fall down drunk mind you, but i find it's easier to do the lean when intoxicated. When i'm drunk i often get the weaves and the weaves at a urinal are a bad bad idea.

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

Bubba's picture

I'm gonna marry me a girl that pees standing up.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

That damn toilet spit on me again this morning. I have a new puppy and had to run her into the bathroom while she peed all over the place. When I went to flush her turds, deposited on the floor after she was done peeing on me, this huge gob of shitty water flew out of the toilet and landed on my arm.

I am NOT a morning person. Especially when it's still dark and this happens.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture

i am 28 and have used a urinal once in my life is there other men that have never used a urinal
and is there someone that has tips of just how close to stand or where to point my dick

Anonymous Coward's picture

i stand 2 or 3 inches from the urinal it is
not as easey when there the kide urinals
and i still dont know where to aim

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

The splashback thing just reminded me of something rude that happened this morning. My toilet spit on me!

I went to flush it and suddenly this big drop of water came flying out of the swishing water and hit me in the mouth.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

The water surface at the bottom of the urinal does reduce splashback. However, when the urinal is flushed, it takes more water to do so.

Since wastewater tretment plants are expensive to build, tax dollars are often use to buy a water conserving urinals.

Urine splashback is a pain, but it is a minor pain compared to an overstressed sewer plant that leaves shit and piss in the environment.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

The thought of men having to pee with an erection never occurred to me until after I was married and witnessed the phenomenon myself. From a woman's standpoint, it was one of the funniest things ever to be seen.

Sierra BulletSmith's picture

We used to have a game in the 2nd grade to see who could stand farthest from the urinal and piss into it. Ha! We stood on the other side of the room and still made it.

Sir Dropalog's picture

My friend told me an interesting experiment he did one time. He was sporting some morning wood and really had to pee bad (that first pee of the morn). He was in his appartment -- no urinal only a toilet. We guys know how hard it is manage this sometimes. Well my friend told me he turned around (butt to the can) and did a hand stand so his woody wanker was pointing towards the toilet. Alas, it was to no avail, he told me. No pee would come out. I guess the bladder needs some gravity to assist it in releasing the pee. Nevertheless, I still had a good laugh picturing my friend doing a hand stand with morning wood.

maddog's picture

i was at a bar in wisconsin dells on the strip. i went to the mens room and i noticed a cup hangin in the urinal. it was attached to a machine that measured the amount of piss you let go and made a comment about how much or little you pissed. it was called billy bobs pee machine.. it was well worth the 25 cents. now we make bets on it....

tones's picture

i stand at about 2 ft., then keep moving back from the urinal. i can usually go back 7 or 8 feet hahahaha

Lively's picture

From a gal who has learnt the fine art of pissing while standing... you complain about splashback? Try setting your pretty ass down on some toilet that *thousands* of other disease ridden bitches have placed their foul asshole? It isn't an art, it is a defense mechanism. I can hover, straddle and piss standing. I have been known to use the mens room at sporting events, piss in the woods hugging trees (sometimes I was even sober and remembered to straddle downstream) And peeing in a cup - only issue i might have there is the overflow. And guess what boys...I can stop my pee mid-stream. Very satisfying, not to mention a useful trick to know for other times. It's good to be a woman.

JustMySlong's picture

I just stand to the point where it looks like my feet won't stick by the end of the day at the office thats 3 feet back at a minimum

karl's picture

i prefer to stand back, often going for distance when alone, but unfortunately, i'm in high school and if you stand any more than six inches away, you better have a pretty big cock or you're just weird

drpepper's picture

lets hear from a few more girls that have learnt the art of stand up peeing

Scott's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

general urinal rule, never hug the urinal! very messy, the thought of somebody elses piss splashing back is revolting. besides that, your member im sure doesnt appreciate the touch of cold wet ceramic. i usually stand back enough so when im "hangin out" my cock is looking at the floor, not into the urinal.

Stephany's picture

I tried to piss into a glass once, when the bathroom was occupied. You have to carefully position youself into a squat, hold the glass at a perfect angle, and go for it. Some of it ended up on the floor, despite my best intentions. The best part was proudly holding a nice, hot glass of piss.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

And then you end up smelling like your own piss. How lovely!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

What's with all this splashback crap? Are you all the guys who won't flush? If you do, the only thing that might splash back is your own piss. For god's sake, aim it down and you reduce most of the risk anyway!

Poopstain McLain's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have to stay very close and use low pressure because I sometimes have the split stream problem. My member is pointing forward but I have streams at 45 degrees in each direction.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I wouldn't know about urinal distance. I am a standing girl pee-er and sometimes it gets to be a pain in the ass. If you don't arrange your pussy lips properly you end on with three separate streams of pee. (Sometimes more, I'm going for the world record.) One goes into the toilet, one hits the side of the bowl, and one goes down the leg of my pants. But only if I have no way of changing them for hours. It would be nice sometimes to have a stick to piss out of like you guys.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Jonhnypoopypants's picture

well I'm a girl so I don't know what its like but one time my friend dared me to so I did and oh my god it was hard and plus it was to high and I think I did it at a movie theater and I was band from it forever well for 1 month but still it felt like forever and plus all the damn good movies where out too! So I would stay about 300feet away so I wont get band again. ps I was only five but now I'm ten really and I also agree with poopismyfriend this is supposed to be about poop.

Thepaperhog's picture

Yeah, it's a bitch when you're in the middle of a wonderful piss, the stream's going strong, and you're standing ten feet back, loving life - when all of a sudden some flat-footed Samoan slips around the corner and soundlessly appears in front of you..........then you have to rush to thrust your penis towards the disease-ridden womb of the urinal to not look like an asshole 'distance pissing'....you also have to take a couple of very quick steps forward while trying not to step into the fungi-laden cesspool that girdles the urinal............

PoopIsMyFriend's picture

Well, I guess I stand about 5 inches from the urinal when pooping in it. I have to get somewhat close because my giant manhood circles the circumference of the earth and it might hit the back of the urinal if I get any farther away.

Isn't this supposed to be about poop?

ThreePly's picture

Yeah Daphne, it's tough being a man sometimes.

Sometimes...

Deuce Fan's picture

This site deletes posts. How pathetic. I posted several and they deleted them. this site is terrible

Chuck's picture

Pragmatic approach: far enough to miss the shoes.

Bub's picture

Splashback is a big problem. The best unrinals are designed to have a little standing water in them. Water is a great absorber of streaming urine. This feature is negated when nimrod cleaning services fill the water with those unrinal wafer holders or some sort of drain cover deal. These devices protrude from the water, if they don't displace it all together, creating another surface for your piss to bounce off of.

A company I worked for some years ago, moved into a brand new building. They had the "water" type urinals installed, but, they used those damn wafer holders. We had a suggestion box program going at that time (50$ for the best suggestion each month) so I made my suggestion just as I mentioned above. I got $50 and the holders disappeared. I always wondered what kind of laugh the powers that be got when they read my suggestion.

Basic rule; Stand close enough not to drip on the floor and aim down.

As for pissing with wood. It is the classic definition of tourque.

The Malicious Pooper's picture

Yay! Ass Phlegm's back... NOW MAKE A NEW CARTOON! Anyway, I find it fun to go about four feet away; it's a challenge

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Three Ply, that sounds horrible! I think you explained it very well. And, Ass Phlegm's game made me laugh.

I have to say Craptain Pooping sounds suspiciously familiar to someone I think I know. There's a little turd terrorist in you, Craptain, and it's naughty good fun, isn't it?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Craptain Pooping's picture

I'm not paying the water bill at any joint that mounts a urinal. Therefore, I flush while I'm pissin'. Keeps the water clean and flowing down. As far as you people that practically climb into the urinal and stare at the booger on the wall as to not be seen by the guy next to you?... You're not invisible. I see you. I also notice that your back is so arched to hide your package inside the urinal walls, you look like an insecure contortionist. That method just screams little sausage. I talk to you in the urinal for shock value. I love to watch you squirm in discomfort as you piss because I've said "How's it going?" It's not a gay thing, because that I am not. It's a mean streak that I have that loves to feed on insecurities. So, if you ever see a guy choose the one urinal out of 10 empty ones right next to you, he says "Howdy!!", farts and makes a big production out of the piss shiver, then you're probably next to me.

Actually, I hate going to the men's room... That seems to be where all the dicks hang out.

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