I do not dig the fan, unless I am taking a shower. I know I'm rude, not to take into consideration the stench I might leave behind for the party after me. I just don't like the idea of announcing to the world that I'm taking a dump. Let's face it, you don't use the fan when you're "freshening up" or peeing.

I'm a definite advocate for the fan. You gotta be shameless, though! What else says "Hey, I just dropped a dook the diameter of a deli sausage and I've deemed it to reek of Death so....."

Oh, bathroom fan, how I love you, especially if you're an efficient fan that doesn't rattle like hell.
I like the noise buffer and the smell-o-rama dispersing abilities.
Then again, sometimes I like taking a nice, quiet crap during the middle of the day, but that's always been hard living in Army post housing (hell revisited). In 6 weeks I get to try out the fan in my very first house.
Hope it doesn't rattle................

I only use a fan when its so hot i'm dripping sweat. I could care less about the smell, but I'll be damned if I can't poop in comfort.

I use an air conditioner. It is extremly hot and stuffy in my apartment. The smell stays at a minimum and it is very cool in there. My boyfriend and I both love it and sometimes go in there together.

I hate when people use the Fan. Shit doesnt stink! If you say it stinks in there open the DOOR! Then if you still think it smells open the WINDOW! If you are not satisfied by that get an AIR FRESHINER!! After that if all of that dosnt help TOUGH SHIT!! Pine Tree Air Fresheners are the best! My bathroom doesnt have a fan-there is a door, window and a pine tree air frshener! WOW!
POOP EVERYDAY-IT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fan to which this article is referring is the little one in the ceiling that comes on when you switch on the light. I'm not sure if it does anything. It makes a sound, which covers up noises for Shameful Shitters, but can a small thing like that really suck out the powerful stenches I leave behind? And where does the smell go?

I guess the bigger question is this: are poop smell molecules lighter or heavier than air? If they're lighter, then they float, and the fan probably works. If they're heavier, then they don't, and the fan is a placebo.

I think the answer to that is of course they float...that's why its best to be on the floor when people are farting on the couch. My girlfriend always makes me turn on the overhead fan thing when I poop, but honestly I don't think it does much good.

My bathroom has a window (crank type) and no fan. That works for me. I like cracking open the window, even in the winter, and letting the shower steam and toilet reek go out the window while fresh, sweet outdoor air comes in.

I like that better than a fan. What if you have a power outage and no window? Then what? You will be sitting in a hot pocket of fart and crap stink until the electricity comes back.

I have a skylight in the bathroom, no fan. Because I have two cats, I usually just leave the door open all the time. Anyway, their poop smells more than mine does!

When I was a child I was terrified of the bathroom fan. I'm not sure why, but I was always afraid that horrid growling thing was going to jump out of its socket and attack. I still get wary of some of those public bathroom fans with all the hair hanging out of them.

At our house we have a fan that I never use. It doesn't work on anyone's stench, especially my dad's furosimide farts. So my theory is that the bathroom fan is only there to hide a perfect good fart noise and/or terrify small children.

Dave, you never cease to blow my mind, and yes, it takes more than a firecracker. Molecules, placebos. Awesome.

I think this fear Shit Volcano has could be a great cartoon or short story. I may have to submit some fiction the next time I drink, which will be, oh, it's wine-thirty already??????????

Will get back to you, Shit Volcano, even if I DO like the fan. It saved me from my dad who was just a horrible poop terrorist when I hit puberty. Yes, let's make the teenager with the glasses MORE self conscious. That's fun!!!!!Bastard.

Dearest Shit Volcano, it has begun, the Sherlock Holmes case of a lifetime. The Fan. Read on. Do you want me to continue..............

The Fan

By Daphne, for sister girl Shit Volcano

Little Shatwika stopped in the doorway, clutching a battered stuffed bunny in one hand and a Remington two-barrel shotgun in the other.

Little Shatwika was done with the bullshit.

Her pull-ups thumped against the back of her ample, little legs as she waddled towards the bathroom door, with the sliding “whump whump” of the Remington’s barrel keeping a steady bass of doom against the aged, wood paneling behind her. Each dent and tweek of the floor caused the open barrel of the shotgun to slap precariously against the Piss Me Off Elmo shirt she wore, received from her momma’s daddy’s momma last Christmas. Ah, the quiet times………………..

She stopped two feet short of the bathroom doorway; Shatwika knew better than to step full into the view IT had. IT had eyes that saw all, and, they were yucky. Cooties unrecountable could sprout from those eyes. Little Kobe said so. And, Shatwika has business to attend to.

OK, let me know if you want me to write more.

I haven't begun to get to the hair issue, left behind from Aunt Tom.................

Shit Volcano rules

Now, seriously, I've gone off the deep end. So, I will keep the rest until you all decide whether or not it's worth reading.

The story goes back ages.

These are toddler.

I’d say two weeks. Sounds good.

Chapter One

Misquetia decided that she would take the apartment Malarium picked out for them, Little Kobe, Shatwika, and their youngest brother Norton Mason Brendan Connor Junior. As Misquetia stood there, with babes in arms, she noticed that a couple of young roughs had run out of the building, looking particularly upset. Those two had been responsible for laying fresh pipe in the bathroom from dakota.com’s pipe laying. Word was dakota’s boys were the best pipe layers around. And, the bathroom was a mess. Hair and moisture was everywhere. If not for the pristine condition of the rest of the dwelling, Misquetia would have taken that extra empty deuce bottle out of Shitwika’s diaper bag and rapped Malarium upside the head with it. No way was Misquetia going to allow her babies to sleep in second standard housing. Not after all the bitches she had beaten up to get this pad for. No way.

Remember, I can stop..................

Seriously, I've heard it's a sickness.....

STOP! STOP! I hope you have an editor for the book you are writing...

I know, I know, and that darned Pulitzer always seems to escape my grasps...............

The only time we used the fan growing up is when all 4 of us brothers croweded into the same cramped upstairs bathroom to smoke a J while the folks were watching TV downstairs. The fan was a sign of someone puffin down, not cranking out a duce. Now when I hear a fan, I cant help but wonder............

Ha ha!!! That made me feel better, Daphne, after the day I've had. My sister's six-month-old lab down in Florida just died from a coral snake bite and I was sitting here crying my eyes out. Leave it to Poop Report to make me feel better.

P.S. I came home today and found the bathroom fan on. No one here turned it on. Now I'm scared again!

I'm not a big advocate for the "Fart Fan". It really only stirs up the stench. By concept, it is supposed to waft the smell into the attic space. However, the difference in temperatures don't allow this. Stench is basicaly methane gas and IS lighter than air. It is also flammable. So, if you are a "shameful shitter" it is best to light a candle on the tank of the throne. This will burn up most of the smell. No, it won't blow up. I've been on dates or such and had to blow dirt. Not wanting to leave her bathroom too dummied up, and not being able to find a spray, I improvised. I'd sit there with my lighter lit in the air. I looked like I was at a freakin' Journey concert. Afterwards, a great remedy is to find the shampoo in the shower... Holding it up, as to not spill it, you can squeeze the bottle all over the place. The air pushed from the bottle carries the shampoo scent out. It's like a "floral fart". So, if in a bind, remember 2 things.... Journey concert and shampoo flatulence.

I've used the shampoo fart trick, too. It works much better than the fan.

Despite what you people may or may not belive,I feel the bathroom exhaust fan is a necesity for any especially smelly shit. I'm 23, and even to this day i get yelled at by my dad if i stink up the bathroom and don't turn the fan on for 15-20 minutes after i'm done. I also has a freind who isnt allowed to defecate in his downstairs half-bath for the simple reason that there is no fan, or window for ventilation. It makes sense to me. Just like turning the fan on sucks drywall-rotting moisture from the bathroom when you take a shower, it also sucks the foul smelling shit molecules out as well. It does depend on what type of fan you have however. I believe that many dis-believers have fallen into the catagory because of the low quality and power of their actual fans. I am lucky enough to have very large fan for the size of my small bathroom. It was designed to clear a room at least twice its size. It's old, prob from the mid 60's and it's chrome grill looks like the front of a old buik. It also sounds like a jet engine when you turn it on. Most people however are not as blessed as I. Most modern fans consist of cheap plastic construction, and have very weak motors, as well as fans that gunk up with debris over time. I actually saw one in a motel room bathroom one time that merely sucked the air slowly in, ran it through a sponge filter, and spit it back out into the room. With contraptions like these, it is easy to see why so many a people simply do not see the nesecity in using suck a device while on the crapper. I do believe however, that ANY device that moves air out, does in turn end up helping somewhat.

Usually I ignore the fan. I turn it on to vent steam from the shower instead.

We don't have a fan of the ceiling variety in our bathroom, but we do have a little one we stick in the window when the occasion arises. Usually, we only use it in the summer when showering, but occasionally one of us has a crap so monumentally stinky it calls for fan use. It's a courtesy, so that the other doesn't have to wait a few hours to piss. I think though, that Dave may be onto something with poop particles being heavier than air: Usually, even with the fan, I can still smell ass reek hours after a particularly disgusting crap.

Oh thank god.
I thought Shit Volcano was going to kill me.
It was just a story.

Shit Volcano is my sista girl.

I am just a big fan of poop. Nuff said.

O.K., folks - THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR THAT AWFUL STENCH OF SHIT - is to take several matches, three or four tops (although you can take twenty if you damn well please), light the matches, then shake them vigorously and allow that smoke to lace through the air. Shit smell gone instantly and the smoke smell goes away right away too! Problem solved! Learned that one overseas.........

Just to avoid confusion - I meant shake the matches to extinguish them, then allow that smoke to waft through the air........

Exhaust fans are a nice touch for dispatching the stench. But I keep a book of matches handy. A lighted match seems to destroy the odor rather than masking the smell such as air fresheners.

I have found the fan to be a very faithful friend, not only in my smelly poo situations but in others also. My dad has Crohn's disease and therefore the turds he takes can be very vile and highly nauseating (even for a toilet trooper like myself) so I have discovered how great the fan works after he takes a dump.

It also works for slicing tomatoes and so on..order yours for $19.95.

I love the fan. I had a little bathroom and it made alot of difference when I had Taco Bell explosions. I couldn't leave the bathroom door open when my roomies were home, so I think I vomitted alot less due to my poop's smell than I would have had I not had a bathroom fan.

Daphne King....................... No fan for me I live with 2 cats, we have a litter box.

The shower fan in my bathroom is above the toilet instead of in the shower for the sole purpose of making the room smell better. I eat a mostly meatatarian diet and trust me, rotted meat reeks, especially if the rotted meat happens to be poop.

Just read your bathroom fan posts again, Daphne. Funny stuff!

see, the fan just disperses the shit-stank. I mean, its a great concept, the dispersing of the stench, but it doesnt work. Light some incense or something. Maybe musk to go with the theme.

I had a dream that i was stud on the corner of a cross road and i had this incredible urge to poo so i turned round pulled my pants down and pooed all over the road, it covered the whole cross road. When I looked at it it was full of fish skeletons and fish heads and tails. I then had a sudden pain in my gut needing to poo again, so as i pooed again I caught it in my hands and it was a huge salmon, about three feet long, as i looked in amazment at this fish i did exactly the same and pooed another. What does this mean

i actually have a regular ceiling fan in my bathroom as well as a "exhaust fan" It 's an older hunter original fan and really moves the shit around :P

Fan ON.

No air freshener.

Them's the rules.

Crawl up into your attic and check the bathroom exhaust fan venting -- lots of them just suck the funk (and shower moisture, etc.) into the attic, but they're supposed to be ducted to the outside of the house. I've had to correct this many times, and it makes a big difference.

I wonder how many roof collapses are caused by "methane corrosion"?

The bathroom fan creates a minor vacuum effect in the bathroom, thus if one ensures that the bathroom window is closed, a pressure differential will be created, causing a one way airflow into the bathroom from the adjoining room, preventing most, if not all offensive odours from escaping.

Unless you stand outside the bathroom and fart under the door crack.

Bathroom fans vent one of two ways:

1) They vent thru a thing that looks like a dryer vent. (look for it on the side of your place), common in apartments.

2)Vent thru a pipe in your roof, like the your vent stack (for your plumbing fixtures)

3) SHOULD NOT DO THIS
Just the fan in the ceiling of your bathroom. Blows into attic. Fire hazard, fan can get broken if insulation gets stuck in it. Cuase of several attic fires I have heard of.

The methane gets pushed into your attic. some gets pushed out of the eaves, but mostly it sits there. Wait for a hot summer day, or get insulation stuck in the fan (causes it to over heat and spark) and BOOM.

Methane is explosive. Methane comes out when you fart (Why you can light your farts on fire) Methane comes out of landfills. If you look at landfills you may see a flame somewhere-that is them burning off methane, or you may see pipes coming out of the ground and going away-they're piping the methane away to sell it for fuel. (Your body doesn't produce enough though, so no money for you)

I was never afraid of the bathroom fan, but I was deathly afraid of the attic fan. It cooled that attic by blowing attic air into house (Dont get a house with one, it raises your A/C bills. Buy one that vents thru the roof or thru side gable. Also dont get it if your bathroom fan vents to attic, you'l get B/R smells in the rest of your house.

Crappin, I agree with you on the attic fans. The last house I lived in almost burnt down because of an attic fan.

THose things are loud too. (The attic fan, not the bathroom fan) Its like a hurricane/tornado.

I would say some of the bathroom fans are fucking loud. There have been a few times when I have been afraid to enter a bathroom after hearing the grinding chug of that horrid grate in the ceiling.

I thought they were as much to mask sounds as they were to circulate air. But in our new house, only the hall bath with no window has a fan.

The master bathroom really isn't an issue, but the powder bath is right in the family room, with no fan, so not only does everyone in the room hear what you're doing, if you open the window for ventilation, anyone OUTSIDE can hear you, as well.

Some people turn on the water and let it run while they do their thing, but I find that a gross waste of water, especially here in a drought zone. And the water running only draws attention; you think they must be all done and washing their hands.

_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

I am AFRAID of bathroom vents. No joke. Serious phobia.

I think the fan is essential especially when you have an ass cannon like mine. Sometimes I will fart and think I lost five pounds then when I check on the dookie left behind I am seriously disappointed I would have thought it was more judging from the sound. If no fan is available I turn on the sink. No need to subject others to my farting and subsequent stench.

I have three bathrooms, and none have a fan.

Thank goodess that the windows are right next to the toilet.

I usually don't produce much odor, so I can go without a fan.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

We don't have bathroom fans at home, for which I am grateful. If the smell gets rank, we open a window. We also have an electric air purifier that does well. In public places I detest the fans; they don't do much about odor, and they mask the sounds of pooping that I enjoy so much. I vastly prefer going into a quiet restroom and hearing myself--and others--dropping turds, farting, etc. These are natural sounds; I say, let them resound unfiltered and unmasked.

Both of my bathrooms have vent fans which we use at each shower and "deposit". There is no doubt the fan helps remove some of the odor; we recently had a brief power-outage and I had eaten lots of very spicy Thai food the night before, after leaving a sizeable and steamy pile, the room was funky and soon it filled the rest of the house after leaving the room. With the powerful exhaust running as normal, this would have not have been such a lingering odor.
In my new master bathroom (an addition I built) I installed an 8" inline duct fan in the attic which vents to the outside, the fan is a good 15' from the grille in the bathroom so the operation is silent; the fan is very powerful and works great. Of course with 14' ceilings in my bathroom, I need a good fan.

I just installed an 80 cfm exhaust fan for a 50 square foot bathroom. Very small bathroom but powerful fan for its size. Purpose was mostly to rid of the stinky shit smells in there. It does so wonderfully. The old fan was some piece of doodoo (no pun intended) from the 50s that made a lot of noise but did little air movement. My new fan (Panasonic) is half as quiet but several times more powerful.