I neither fold or scrunch. you need to wrap the paper around your four fingers about 6 wraps. The wrap must extend beyond the finger tips about an inch and protect the finger just to the edge of the palm. This way will allow a scooping motion, Just be sure to keep the unprotected thumb out of the way. this technique will also allow the clean catching of a turd if you need to share it with freinds.

I think scrunching. It gives you a better surface area with which to hold on to and to wipe with. Folding creates a flat, even, surface that would be good for wiping if you didn't have to hold it, but you do, so you wind up reducing the effective surface area by folding the paper somewhat. Besides, when the weather turns dry (like in the wintertime), your fingers, and the paper, tend to be a little smoother so you can't grip the paper as well. Of course, you could lick your fingers before each wipe so you can grip the paper better.

Bubs has it backwards. Scrunching merely allows one to fit the same amount of surface area into a much smaller space. While this is good in some cases (think the convolutions in the human brain), in this instance it reduces the amount useable surface area which is the key here. To illustrate my point, take two squares of tp and seperate them. Scrunch one into a ball and compare it to the other square. If you had no other alternatives, which one would you want to use? Scrunching causes you to use more tp than otherwise, which is most definitely not efficient.

Scrunching feels soo good though.

Scrunching. I personally don't have the patience to fold the paper. Scrunching it into a ball is much quicker. I am going to try the four finger wrap method this morning and see how it goes.

definetly a scruncher, if the paper is folded it is too smooth and doesn'e grab much - does it? It is much better to scrunch - makes lots of nasty edges to scrape the 'area' clean much like using a swqueeger on a window,,,,

Folding, because you can make a big fold, then fold it again and use another surface of the paper. If not too messy fold a third time for the final sweep.

Just tried the four finger method and did not work for me.

I'm a scruncher myself. I just like the feel of a sponge-worth of toilet paper. Folding only seems to smear the poo, while scrunching provides multi levels of toilet paper surface area to clean all over.

the problem with scrunching is that, while you have a denser amount of toilet paper, you have less surface area. By folding, you can maximize the surface-area-to-thickness ratio -- protecting your fingers from accidental contamination due to both tearing through the paper AND errant cling-ons that may be waiting on the cheeks.

Scrunch. Only way to go. Who cares about efficiency? I like to know that I have a firm grip on my TP so that none of it gets stuck to my ass in a 'mini' embarrassing moment, or just a nagging feeling during the day, folding allows for plys to come off and stick. Yuck. Besides, when I have a nice wad of TP between my fingers, I feel empowered over my shits. They may have forced me to the toilet, but I force them down the drain.

Best of all, scrunching keeps your fingers as far away from the ass as possible, less chance of browning the wrong thing.

Scrunching is it for me. I don't like having my fingers anywhere near brown town.

Double scruncher. Quilted Northern Double Roll is good for this method. Scrunch, wipe, rescrunch then wipe a final time. With a little practice this method is easy to master.

Fold. Scrunching is wasteful. I don't know why you people think you'll get shit on your hands when the tp is folded... what kind of spazzy wipers are you? Fold, wipe, discard. Easy on your ass, easy on the trees.

Scrunching allows you to create a sort of a handle as you bring your fingers and thumb together. As I said, folding certainly creates more surface area, but it gets reduced as you grab the paper to wipe. Unless, you use it like a credit card and swipe it.

The best way I've found is to wrap your hand with a roll of paper and wipe the first time. Then fold it over and wipe a second time. Then scrunch it up to get a third and maybe a fourth wipe out of it.

I scrunch, out of laziness.
I can see hold folding would give me a better, cleaner wipe and probably be more economical too because I wouldn't have to go back and wipe 5 more times.

I usually ask the toilet paper which way it wants to lick, that way it can't come back on to me if it tastes too bad.

a young guy - too funny.

Once a scruncher, always a scruncher. I never imagined folding TP as an option.

I like scrunching because it creates a 'feather duster' kind of surface that helps capture, then dispose of Klingons.

Folding TP--that'll only act like a butter knife--it'll smear the poop all over your ass. Who the hell wants that?

I'd love to try out a freshly gnawed corncob and see how that works--but you need an outhouse for that--corncobs dont flush!

Pooperscooper has nailed it. That's how I would have explained why I like to scrunch. But, I scrunch AND fold. You'll just have to use your imagination for that one. As for the "wastefulness" of scrunching...well...fuck off.

I prefer to be a PLUNGER.

Instead of wiping that shit offf, i push it back in.

when I had a bath tub I would wash after I mad a brown loaf

I prefer to use scrunching. That way, the TP has more surface area, and more ridges to scrape the shit off.

I use baby wipes.

i lick my own ass clean

I do the scrunching. I think its like an english muffin, with nooks and crannies, except it collects my poop instead of butter. I also stand to wipe. Apparently.

i used to scrunch, but i found out that such an uneven surface area can be painfully unpredictable when faced with poop that is at the complete mercy of gravity. a low point in the scrunched surface can become a trench for the feces to travel down upon the palm or fingers. although the surface of folded paper isnt as efficient as the scrunch in scraping off all the tiny crumbs, i find i prefer the predictability. nothing is more horrifying than a bit o' the brown under a fingernail (well, lots of things are, but at the time it always seems pretty bad)

It all depends on the situation. A messy shit needs a long scrunchy wad to do the job. A short quick visit a neat fold to the tp is ok. If you have had a curry the night before the whole roll is sometimes required.

I have been a scruncher ever since I was a kid. If I folded, it seemed that it always came through quicker, and I got sticky fingers.
I think I must be, like, a closet hard wiper or something.

Scruncher...When I scrunch I fold afterwards. But see here people'z I waste a lot of toilet paper when I scrunch! Like 5 squares per scrunch. I tried folding, I didn't like it. Scrunchers rule!

I use all 3 methods (scrunchig folding and wraping).
For me it depends on the stickiness of what's left behind. If I know there isn't much i'll fold but if it's a little thicker i'll scrunch and if it gets really serious then i'll wrap.

I have to fold. I fold it into one large square. Wipe - examine- fold again- wipe-examine - fold again - if possible.
With folding you can enjoy the results of the examination. You can inspect tp better when it is folded. Scrunched tp can give false readings.

Fold. Start with enuf sheets to get anything hanging or wet, then work down to two or three double-ply sheets at a time until nothing is visible -- with asshair, that's several times. Usually fold three sheets into fourths and two sheets into thirds Adjust accordingly for single-ply and commercial paper.

Scrunching saves so much time when your ass is hovering over the seat on the edge of balance. Quick pull, tear scrunch, wipe. I can do it faster than I can say it.

yes, but who wants to save time....savor and enjoy! I was born a folder and always will be a folder. I am still a bacholor and go through less than a dozen rols a month, and I crap LOTS!

Jeez, I never even knew there was such a thing as scrunching and now it seems 90% of the world (well, your readers at least) are scrunchers. I always fold, wipe, look, repeat once or twice depending on quality of TP and consistency of poo, occasionally snif, drop in pan. Now I feel like a freak. Tomorrow morning I'll try scrunching for the first time in my life. The excitement is unbearable.

Fold all the way. I used to scrunch - When I was about 5, but folding is the obvious route to wipage success. Only a few people have commented on taking about 5 or 6 squares, and folding and examining. With this method, as long as you keep folding, you can get 4, sometimes even 5 wipes, but if you want to re-use the paper in a wipe with the scrunch method, you end up having to unravel the whole thing, and strategically scrunch it again so that all of the previous wipe-matter is on the inside. A waste of time, and as for the people who do it, wastes of space.

Folding for more coverage, scrunching only covers the surface area of a clenched fist, folding you an adjust to surface of an open hand. FOLD to add layers between your booty and your wiping hand, scrunching is for daubers which is fine for wiping/ daubing pee, awful for poo. would you ever scrunch a baby wipe? Not unless you plan on touching a shit-spacked booty surface, layer up for the duty FOLD!

ok lets make that clear...
scunching is for the first 2 or 3 wipes,
folding is for finishing the job,
over.

I find the scrunching to do best duty for Poop wiping.My Poop just molds to it and my fingers can do better work through the tishue that way. But make sure there is enough paper in the roll for having to fold a scrunch is rather messy so dont use it twice if can be avoided. One might get a case of stink finger and alot of times public bathrooms are out of soap alot of times so be warned.Please remember.
check paper supply first and dont reuse twice
thats my main advice.

I agree that scrunching really isn't efficient and is in fact dangerous as there's too much unpredictability in the scrunch. My method is the MULTI-FOLD .. take about 6 squares and fold into a 1x1 square and do the initial wipe. This initial wipe doesn't need examining (as its always got something - no Devine Intervention for me!). Now without looking I now refold the 1x1 into half its size 1x.5 with one hand using just my fingers (thus trapping the initial wipe inside) and wipe the 2nd time with the half sized wad. Now again I fold this into a .5x.5 sized wad and do a final wipe. Now I repeat these three steps with another set of 6 sheets..and by this time its super clean, even when you do a 'plunge' to ensure the deepest cleanliness. The 'Multi-Fold' --Its quick, efficient, and doesn't leave anything to chance!

Any thoughts on using the brush next to the toilet?

i think people who buy the finegrained tp (presumably with the conviction that their asses are better than others, that they have some sort of upper class asses... that sounds good by the way... class ass) are more likely to fold, and barely grace their pooper gently as it if was a family heritage (well you may argue that it is but anyway)

while the people who go for the sandpaper type, scrunche and wipe with more the "my ass is bugging me so i'm bugging my ass" attitude...

and it's true, i mean your ass is causing you so much trouble... well ok i'll admit to the fact that it rids you of things you don't want in your body, but on the other hans, look at all the dilemmas it creates, folding vs scrunching, looking vs not looking, i mean there's an entire website (and probably a shitload of other ones) dedicated to the sole topic.

so i say give you ass what it deserves, take for what it's worth.

basically, treat it like shit!

Perfect, I really don't agree with that. I work for hours without breaks, and often I don't eat enough healthy stuff on my short breaks.

However, I scrunch premium grade TP and use varying pressures during the cleanup process.

I dont fold, scrunch, or wrap. I use my fingers. Just stick em up there. Then, my bum is clean. What is the stink finger? My finger does not smell after wiping and I do not wash it.

I think that folding the toliet paper is the most efficient way of wiping ones ass because it eliminates all chances of there being a "hole" (or a place where the tp is not so scrunched up) and getting shit all over your hand!

Well well well...............The forum of wiping techniques. People, you have confirmed again that some of us were not adequetly trained in the art of personal hygeine. I had a favorite saying about some of my co-workers and that was that 'they probably have trouble wiping their own ass'. That prophecy came true one time when the next shift person came in and had a 3 foot tail of shit wipe hanging out the back of their pants.
Please, remember to check yourself before going into public for paper extremities.
This has been a public service announcement from the mental health society.
BTW, I bet scrunchers also like finger painting.

Hey, why waste time folding toilet paper? To make it look nice? Come on. It's gonna get messed up once its in your butt anyway, also why make it look nice(or whatever other reasons) if its just gonna get all poopy anyway?

what in the world possessed you people to talk about how you wipe your shitty ass on the internet? Wow... I don't know who's worse you for writing it or me for reading it... LMAO

Release your bathroom muse, Marsha. You'll feel freer!

I fold 9 pieces of toilet paper thick enough and flush 3 at a time. Then I fold 2 other pieces and use when I get off the toilet. Then I proceed to use baby wipes.

I just have to say that baby wipes are the way to go. Once I tried them there was no return to nomal TP. It is the most luxurious feeling ever. You get very clean, no shit on your hands and they are sooo soft!

I'm a scruncher myself. After taking a dump, I always use those Cottonelle or Preparation H medicated wipes. No, I don't have the 'roids, I just have a skin tag on my booty hole and the doctor recommended the wipes for when it gets inflammed. I highly recommend the moist wipes for after dumping a load. You get that squeaky clean feeling, and they are flushable.

I favour the wrap 1, 2, 3 and scrunch and your on your way like it never happened. The perfect crime...

Scrunching for me. I grab some paper off, scrunch, wipe, look, toss in bowl, and repeat until there is no more shit visible on paper.

What is all this talk of toilet paper? What you need is a puppy-dog to wipe your posterior. In my experience Labrador is the best

well i recently got the waterfall shower head w attachment from qvc, now after taking a super shit, i carefully position my self on the edge of the tub, grab my hand held shower, put it on spray mode and gently clean my ass, FANTASTIC, i'm living good now, first time in over 47 years, RECOMMENDED.

when i poop i wipe my ass 20 times and when i do i scrunch up my toilet paper an wipeand then i roll it around and i use the same toilet paper thats how it works for me

I am a scruncher myself. I find its just quicker and easier than folding a bunch of squares just to get the proper coverage. Its all the same.

The only way to wipe is with a well scrunched piece of paper. Folding risks covering your fingers in processed food. Never shake the hand of a man (woman) that folds - They may not wash

"Stranded,
On a toilet bowl--
What do you do when you're stranded,
And you don't have a roll?

"Wherever you go for the rest of your life,
Prove you're a man,
And use your hand."

(Who else besides TBW and me are old enough to remember this?)

My grandad was obviously a folder. His description of how to utilize toilet paper sheets was as follows:

"One up, one down, and one for the polisher."

Dumpster, if Turd were still here he'd probably remember it.

You Scrunchers are disgusting. Folding is the only way to give your ring that real spring clean AND save trees. Scrunching is a one-shot affair for each scrunch... kinda like Top Gun "you`ve only got one shot Maverick!!" If you slip up or your aim isn`t that good you`ve got shit everywhere, PLUS you`re wasting good paper on your poop heroics.
I can get 4 shots with a big length of tp. Just fold over for the next wipe-by. As long as you get half-decent tp that doesn`t rip and dunk your fingers in the brown stuff) or is like sandpaper and rips your anus apart, then you can`t go wrong with folding.
Folding is an art-form, for the people with pride. Scrunching is a lazy persons pooper scooper.

Folding is so poxy. "oh, let me place this folded paper onto my ass, oh wow, foldy fold"
plus ya hand gets too close to ya hole.

Scrunchin keeps ya hand away from ya hole, gives mo' area, an u don't have to sit on a toilet folding some paper like you are making some kind of ass origami.

Scrunchin is the realness.

Scrunchaz Fo' Life!

http://www.hiredesign.com.au/

I hav allways been a scruncher. i tried the fold yesterday and it didnt work 4 me

I always scrunch it into something of a ball. I feel much more comfortable that way than having only 2 or 3 layers between the poop and my fingers.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Growing up in a household with 8 kids, our toilet was constantly clogging, and hence it was vital to use as little toilet paper as was necessary to get the job done. Having originally been a scruncher, I now prefer folding for several reasons: First, it allows you greater control over exactly where on the TP the poop goes, and so you can fold again and again and get several wipes with one piece of toilet paper. Try this with the scrunching method and you're liable to get a hand full of poo. If the fiber strength of the toilet paper is high enough so your finger won't poke through (I refuse to buy toilet paper where it isn't), you can use a scooping motion and hence get further into your rectum to get the poo that would normally hide out there in waiting till it slowly works it's way out and gives you skid marks in your underwear a half-hour later. ( Poo can be some awfully darn sneaky stuff. But I'm on to it's clever ploy! You're not going to pull that on me, poo! Don't think I won't come in there after you! >:^P~ ) I've always been curious to try a bidet and see if that works better/worse.

*scrunchity scrunch scrunch scrunch* "Hey! close the door, willya!"
_______
Santa Caca!

Most definetely scrunch.

1. Its provides a mini handle, allowing for more leverage and control
2. Its provides more distance between the ass and the hand
3. Scrunching creates vertices and edges, which can get into the nook and crannies.

As long as due dilligance is maintained, the poo should never come in contact with the hand.

I just like to take massive shits. When I'm in a public place I like to blast a big turd and then leave it for another person to find. Folding is best.

*is in the overwhelmingly large ranks of the scrunchers*

_______
And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

For maximum dookage wipeage I prefer to fold a few squares of THE most absorbent toilet paper. I guess that goes back to my mom when she used to obsess about me leaving skidmarks in my underwear. I mean she used to YELL IF I SEE ANY MORE POOPSTAINS you are in trouble mister! I put up with that for a long time but I think part of it was because I scrunched. But I think the other is if you have a hairy ass its just hard to get it all up. The greatest invention? WET WIPES. Now what ever dookage the TP doesnt get the Wet Wipe will.

_I just realized I do both. With good premium TP, I fold. There is great absorbency and no worries getting poopy fingers. With crappy one ply like Scott, I scrunch. Seems I need to scrunch this type in order to not worry about poopy fingers. ______
Producing waste since 1967

The assumpition behind all this folding and scrunching business seems to be the use of multiple sheets of paper together. I've always used sheets of toilet paper singly - that's why they're perferated in that size, isn't it? So the process is: rip off a sheet, hold with all fingers and thumb of one hand together, wipe arse, inspect sheet and if it isn't clean, repeat process with another sheet. When a sheet comes out clean, stop. If you fold or scrunch multiple sheets, you're going to waste vast quantities of paper, aren't you? This is the way I was tought by my parents 40 years ago and I'd always assumed everyone did it this way. Now it appears I'm the odd one out.

Though I am usually a scruncher. I find that when I do fold the TP, I use less of it.

So I would say that folding uses less TP.
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

I guess we all do it our own ways. I fold, and thankfully don't need to use more than six sheets per shit. I'm appalled at all the waste TP I see in toilets. I think Just Agirl (12.17.2003) has said it all.

GGG, that was a cute post.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Ok, Daph, now I know what you mean about things happening that you didn't do. I haven't visited this thread in ages....yet it would appear that I have been here in the last couple of weeks...

I am a folder but I only look on what I believe to be the last swipe. You can usually tell how you're doing by feel. (eg. How easily does the paper glide across your bottom?) Look on the perceived last swipe only to check for thoroughness.

folding is the only way to go, i mock weirdo scrunchers

fold a square into four then wipe. inspect the sheet and repeat process until poo-free. then if im at home i use the bidet. squeaky clean. then wash hands afterwards.

Folding saves trees! I will scrunch until the last tree on this planet has been cut down. If there happens to be someone hugging it at the time, I will wipe with them.

Save the cat up in the branches for me, PD, would ya? Runnin a little low.

All right, but if there are any squirrels, THE'RE MINE.

Good for you two, sticking with the cats and squirrels and hippies. There was once upon a time a PoopReporter that tried some more exotic buttwipe, and was never heard from again.

Oh, Rectal Badger, we hardly knew you.

*sniff*

Yeah....miss that guy/gal....

PD...you should come visit the forums, kind of dead over there, could use some humor

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/index.php

I just registered. When the powers that be open the huge wooden doors, I will come in and visit.

im all for scrunching its provides a handle so theres less chance of getting shit on ur fingers, it provides a greater distance from ur ass and it grabs more of the shit. folding is stupid it smears the shit around ur ass it takes more time and i dont really think that u use less tp foldin it.

ps ive never gt shit on my fingers from scrunching.

Scrunchaz Fo' Life!

I myself am hand only kind of gal...shit and hop right into the shower...sometimes u can see the excess float on the shower floor and play a game of "dodge that shit". It makes showering more intersting.

I cannot believe that there are sick pervert wierdos in society who scrunch. Folding should be enshrined in the constitution. Scrunchers should be lined up and shot and forced to clean up the mess afterwards with scrunched up paper knowing full well that they will get stinky stuff all over their devil fingers. And poo paper manufacturers who make poo paper that sticks mid stroke resulting in a finger protruding through a tear should also be lined up and shot.

To each their own, Greg. I could say folders should be shot, butthat wouldbe disrespectful to your opinion.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Hey Greg, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch and scrunch. All done.

I can't believe Turd Burgler. I understand the shower can clean your ass but why on Earth use your hand instead of TP?

BTW, what is the group's attitude on what to do if some large number of wipes fails to come out clean? When is it reasonable to stop? Maybe I'm a little anal.. think that maybe people can smell it even though its still there in a thin film? This is a good forum. I'm embarassed to ask my psychiatrist about sometyhing like this.

I have always been a folder.
I can make the Lotus, the Crane, the Horse, the Frog, and the Sightless Brown Koi (aka The Blind Mullet).
Joke- the last one requires no paper.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Hmm. I don't pay attention to whether I fold or crunch or crumple or whatever....
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Well hopefully you pay enough attention to put some paper in your hand.

Hey Greg Poops....I have been scrunching for well over half a century and I would guess that I have had fewer fingers through the TP than the average folder. Easier to grasp than folded paper.

Blind Mullet...I would like to see some of you artistic origami work....before you wipe with it of course.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

When you fold, you know EXACTLY how many layers are between your digits and dookies. How boring. Now with scrunching, you never know if you have one layer or ten. Sorta like rectal roulette. I like living on the edge. Hell, I'll probably scrunch my diapers when the time comes.

Personally I'm a folder, and seldom use more than about 4 layers when I wipe, as any more than that doesn't allow me to properly feel about in the crevice and apply sufficiently dextrous firm pressure to my clackervalve. Scrunching is messier as one is more likely to spread the chocolate than scrape it away. That being said, it may be easier to clean the nipsy with shallow layers of folded paper, but one is less likely to get germs on one's fingers by scrunching as scientists have proved that the bacteria present in human excreta can pass through 10 layers of regular toilet paper.

10?! Maybe it's time for a bidet. Then you don't have to wory abou all this stuff.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I am a poor hillbilly and can not afford a bidet. I ocasionaly go out on the lawn and bend over while my wife hoses the residue from my nether regions. She sometimes gets totally engrossed in bouncing my balls about and the cleanliness of my butt suffers.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I hope you're at least straddling the tomato plants so the water doesn't go to waste. You're in a drought you know.

Chief and PD, you have both succeeded in giving me a mental image that will haunt my dreams tonight and probably for a long time to come. We English are rather fond of gardening you know, and I don't think I'll be able to look at a hose in quite the same way again!
*Sips tea. Shudders*

I have always wanted to be able to paint, or draw. Unfortunately, I have neither the god given talent, nor the time for art lessons. I therefore am committed to "painting" mental images on PR. Maybe I'll cut my ear off.

Prarie Van Doggin

Why not create poop sculptures in the snow next week, or draw 'yellow pictures'? With all that beer and all that snow, it's not as if you'll be short of suitable canvases to practice a revolutionary new artform. And from what I understand, you have a big enough brush...

You should take a bunch of giant dumps PD and then let them freeze. Whip out the ole chainsaw and fashion us up a good ole frozen poop sculpture.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

You should take a bunch of giant dumps PD and then let them freeze. Whip out the ole chainsaw and fashion us up a good ole frozen poop sculpture.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

PD, why wait until they freeze? Start molding them while they're still warm and steamy.

Just a suggestion: wear a pair of rubber gloves.

ES, if you read my most recent "ode" and ensuing thread, you will see that my "brush" will have trouble reaching the canvas due to the shrinkage. I once took a swim in the water there and came out with two sets of tonsils.

Mrs. MC, and Postman, thanks for the tips. Chain saws, and rubber gloves it is.

You have succeeded, once again, in a very scary mental image PVD. Congrats.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I had an Air Force buddy who spent a year in Thule, Greenland. I am not sure how to describe this but he said the human waste from the commodes was flushed outside into barrels for future disposal. A large mass of ice would build up that was referred to as a poopcicle. The upper grade enlisted men would pay one of the lower grades to chip off the poopcicle with an icepick and drag it away.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

That's absolutely repulsive.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

That sounds like a load of shit to me :)
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Poop Analyst asks what to do with a large number of wipes that are still smudged. This suggests that you have left a barrel in the gun that could go off at any time. Best way to deal with this is to carefully insert a small folded cocktail umbrella and, once fully inserted, retrieve quickly forcing the umbrella to open and gather up the remaing debris. A quick wipe afterwards should be all that is then required.

Folding is better for a harder shit but scrunching is better for diarhea or a softer log
_______
Russell the shitting queen